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it started with flax seed and I wish to god it had stopped there. but no, there is always that insidious pull to go further, to replicate that first staggering hit of fiber and omega-3 fatty acids. grinding them up and snorting them was a no go. the suppository route was tedious and unsatisfying. what worked: sprouting those fuckers. a bowl of flax sprouts is like flax seed on crack (admittedly I did mix them up with a bit of real crack just for flavor). a bowl, two bowls, three bowls: my life counted out with spoons. the craving to up the ante returned, would not go away. so I let the seeds sprout longer, turn into small plants, and then bigger ones. I now eat bales of flax every day and it's goddamn amazing. my blood is now nearly pure linseed oil. I poo poo tablecloths. I am basically a horse.
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Dec 2, 2016 16:14
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| # ¿ Apr 30, 2024 07:00 |
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I chug lactaid like gatorade. by drinking it constantly I have cowed lactose into utter submission. enzymes ooze from my pores like sweat, enveloping me in a cloud that digests any dairy products within a ten-foot radius. nursing mothers fear me; dairy cows stampede away when I approach. cheesemongers pay exorbitant sums to keep me from entering their establishments; they offer a tribute of pounds and pounds of the rarest cheeses, which I cannot enjoy because they dissolve into goo and drip between my fingers before they touch my lips. |
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Dec 2, 2016 18:06
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instead of "directly to the forehead" I applied the product everywhere now I have foreheads everywhere just . . . everywhere |
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Dec 2, 2016 20:11
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alnilam posted:I've been taking 200% recommended daily value of beta carotene for years now lookit this scrub who's still on beta carotene I'm on carotene so advanced I left the greek alphabet behind months ago |
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Dec 2, 2016 22:24
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Zyla posted:I'm sorry all the vitamin E in my system blocked my eyes from posting correctly, this is all I can imagine: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C2WIvJUBbJw |
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Dec 2, 2016 22:27
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an extremely attractive woman told me I should increase my daily vitamin f dosage and offered to help me with that. my question is, is this some kind of scam? shouldn't I be getting this stuff from amazon or something?
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Dec 3, 2016 02:28
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| # ¿ Apr 30, 2024 07:00 |
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ate two communion wafers instead of one and now apparently have a free credit to use on some sort of sin? looking to covet something, I think - maybe your adorable pets! 
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Dec 8, 2016 16:16
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