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quote:Og (Hebrew: עוֹג, ʿog ˈʕoːɡ; Arabic: عوج, cogh [ʕoːɣ]) according to The Torah, was an Amorite king of Bashan who, along with his army, was slain by Moses and his men at the battle of Edrei. quote:The Talmud further recounts that Og was so large that he sought the destruction of the Israelites by uprooting a mountain huge enough to crush the entire Israelite encampment. The Lord caused a swarm of ants to dig away the center of the mountain, which was resting on Og's head. The mountain then fell onto Og's shoulders. As Og attempted to lift the mountain off himself, the Lord caused Og's teeth to lengthen outward, becoming embedded into the mountain that was now surrounding his head. (10 cubits is about 15 feet. Coincidentally, in Talmudic tradition, Moses was also 15 feet tall, though it's still pretty impressive that he could jump his own height!) The Talmud is a two-thousand year old, sacred text. It's also completely absurd. Post some other good poo poo from it.
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Dec 13, 2016 03:28
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A bunch of rabbis standing round a newly written parchment. "whoa" "Badass"
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Dec 13, 2016 03:35
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and then right after that a little boy was stung on the very tip of his foreskin by a Cyprian and millions of years later little boys are still having pieces of their penus lopped off.
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Dec 13, 2016 03:41
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Isaac posted:A bunch of rabbis standing round a newly written parchment.
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Dec 13, 2016 03:45
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Isaac posted:A bunch of rabbis standing round a newly written parchment. my mental image here is yoda from episode 2, but with a beard
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Dec 13, 2016 03:46
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So Moses hits Og in the ankle after jumping 15 feet straight up? Okay, so while standing, my own ankle is about 2.5 inches off the ground, so if Og was of a similar proportion to myself, he'd be 414 feet tall, assuming he hits Og in the ankle horizontally. But, let's say he uses his 15 foot "stick" to reach up and hit Og, so maybe Og's ankle is 30 feet off the ground, in which case he'd be 828 feet tall. Whatever these guys were smoking, I'd like some. Sole.Sushi fucked around with this message at 03:59 on Dec 13, 2016 |
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Dec 13, 2016 03:55
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im golem
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Dec 13, 2016 04:14
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everybody in ancient times had way too much time on their hands thank god we invented capitalism to occupy all that dead space
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Dec 13, 2016 04:15
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Did this happen before or after Moses went Super Saijewan???? The chronology how these one-off stories are supposed to fit in with thr larger narrative has always confused me.
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Dec 13, 2016 04:15
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Sole.Sushi posted:So Moses hits Og in the ankle after jumping 15 feet straight up? Okay, so while standing, my own ankle is about 2.5 inches off the ground, so if Og was of a similar proportion to myself, he'd be 414 feet tall, assuming he hits Og in the ankle horizontally. But, let's say he uses his 15 foot "stick" to reach up and hit Og, so maybe Og's ankle is 30 feet off the ground, in which case he'd be 828 feet tall. His bed was said to be "nine cubits in length and four cubits in width", i.e. about 13' x 6'. However, the Talmudic rabbis argued that the cubit (which is literally "the length from the middle finger tip to the elbow bottom") was in this case measured from Og himself. They've thought it all out, man. They're thirty moves ahead of you and I!
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Dec 13, 2016 04:15
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every holy book (the bible, koran, kloran, vedas, talmut, etc) all dont say i cant stick thigns up my own rear end
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Dec 13, 2016 04:24
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Moses was a man born in the wrong age. Could have killed it in the NBA.
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Dec 13, 2016 04:26
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here are some much better 2,000 year old writings. i dont think you should read that kooky talmund stuff, its basically the Dianetics of the day: http://oll.libertyfund.org/people/marcus-tullius-cicero
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Dec 13, 2016 04:36
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Rutibex posted:here are some much better 2,000 year old writings. i dont think you should read that kooky talmund stuff, its basically the Dianetics of the day: Id rather hear about moses and god tagteaming an 800ft tall dude
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Dec 13, 2016 04:39
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*is peasant in ancient times, etches erotic fanfiction into stone tablets* "Heh, nobody will ever find this once I die from the plague or oncoming horde of bandits!" *Village catches on fire, fire hardens tablets, texts remain preserved for centuries*
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Dec 13, 2016 04:40
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is there a mention of penis size in any ancient religious texts?
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Dec 13, 2016 04:42
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You tell your friends your dick is half a cubit long but when you were measuring it you were kinda bending your hand a bit and your middle finger wasnt out straight.
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Dec 13, 2016 04:46
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EorayMel posted:*is peasant in ancient times, etches erotic fanfiction into stone tablets* this actually happened! some of our oldest biographies of a bunch of the roman emperors comes from a (dark ages?) guy who just made up a bunch of bullshit Roman fanfiction. the fanfiction was copied through out the ages as genuine history: http://penelope.uchicago.edu/Thayer/e/roman/texts/historia_augusta/home.html my favorite part, from the biography of Marcus Aurelius (the emperor in Gladiator) quote:By his prayers he summoned a thunderbolt from heaven against a war-engine of the enemy, and successfully besought rain for his men when they were suffering from thirst.
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Dec 13, 2016 04:48
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dark shoahs
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Dec 13, 2016 04:50
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make sure you get the forlorn gentile coat from the cave of canaanites
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Dec 13, 2016 04:51
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Back then we didn't have wikipedia articles on anime to update, the social lepers needed SOMETHING to sperg on.
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Dec 13, 2016 05:07
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if an 800 ft dude with a mountain on his head fell down seems like he would have hosed up everything in front of him pretty bad
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Dec 13, 2016 05:24
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Moses was hella fist of the North Star What's the ancient Hebrew for "you are already dead"
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Dec 13, 2016 05:27
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I wonder if all the giants in the Bible were just regular slightly big guys who were exaggerated as the story was retold and passed down. They wouldn't even be considered big by today's standards due to nutritional differences.
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Dec 13, 2016 05:31
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moses was a badass
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Dec 13, 2016 05:32
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Moon Atari posted:I wonder if all the giants in the Bible were just regular slightly big guys who were exaggerated as the story was retold and passed down. They wouldn't even be considered big by today's standards due to nutritional differences. I'd basically be Goliath. Also because I'm taller than 99% of the people I meet 
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Dec 13, 2016 05:33
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"So then the golem fuckin comes back and kills HIM. fuckin what do ya reckon fellas" Other rabbis: fuckin sick
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Dec 13, 2016 05:37
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"that goyim...he's...inhuman!"
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Dec 13, 2016 05:37
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My dad is tougher than your dad has probably been a thing kids said to eachother since the dawn of time. Much like "The cool S"
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Dec 13, 2016 05:38
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EorayMel posted:I'd basically be Goliath. Also because I'm taller than 99% of the people I meet I'd be Solomon because i like to gently caress, but mostly because my sweet katanas can cut any gaijin baby in half
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Dec 13, 2016 05:39
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Isaac posted:My dad is tougher than your dad has probably been a thing kids said to eachother since the dawn of time. Much like "The cool S" hell yeah I am
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Dec 13, 2016 05:42
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rabbi gay. so what
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Dec 13, 2016 05:47
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Rutibex posted:here are some much better 2,000 year old writings. i dont think you should read that kooky talmund stuff, its basically the Dianetics of the day: ya this is boring poo poo man get out
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Dec 13, 2016 06:04
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*extremely han solo voice* it's true. all of it
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Dec 13, 2016 06:06
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Isaac posted:"So then the golem fuckin comes back and kills HIM. fuckin what do ya reckon fellas" rabbis talk like aussie bushmen lol
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Dec 13, 2016 06:06
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This story reads like a Wile E. Coyote cartoon plot
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Dec 13, 2016 06:07
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im goy
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Dec 13, 2016 06:45
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Who's the guy that wanted 3000 foreskins or whatever for a wedding dowry? Saul? Solomon? One of those guys. That guy was a real goofball lemme tell you where would he even put them????
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Dec 13, 2016 06:51
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drat horror queefs posted:Who's the guy that wanted 3000 foreskins or whatever for a wedding dowry? Saul? Solomon? One of those guys. napkin art
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Dec 13, 2016 06:55
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rabbi: oi cahnt i been thinking what if while moses was away they started worshiping any old poo poo rabbit 2: gently caress yeah cuz
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Dec 13, 2016 07:07
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