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There was a radio show called John Saffran and Father Bob that was a jewish commedian and a a really old catholic priest. Saffran was always talking about weird shabbat stuff. The one I remember best was how they couldnt turn the lights on in the temple you had to like go get a non-jew to turn the lights on, but you cant ask you have to get them to do it without asking somehow. He had a story of a rabbi or whatever approaching him outside a temple in st kilda and thinking he was a non jew and trying to get him to turn the lights on.
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Dec 15, 2016 01:54
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The only weird Sabbath thing i knew about is the contraption to answer a telephone wothout technocally performing work.
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Dec 15, 2016 02:06
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basic hitler posted:The only weird Sabbath thing i knew about is the contraption to answer a telephone wothout technocally performing work. they should install these in call centers
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Dec 15, 2016 02:13
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I got the vaugest memory of some story about a water pump that started pumping up polluted or poisoned water and there was an extremely complicated matter dealing with it on shabbat. Like is it poisonous enough to mean deactivating it will save a life? If its deactivated who should be the one to do it? Should it be done by a jew or a goy? If its done by a jew should it be a more observant jew or a less observant one?
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Dec 15, 2016 02:27
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basic hitler posted:
The circumvention, with certain guidelines, is part of the will of God itself
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Dec 15, 2016 02:28
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it's like they invented an entire divine legal theory to circumvent the will of God as much as possible.
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The talmud is also quite popular in South Korea
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Dec 15, 2016 02:29
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If you live near a large jewish population, is there any money in being a shabbos goy? assuming that yes, one has nothin better to do with their time try to ignore the fact hitler is asking
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Dec 15, 2016 02:30
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basic hitler posted:If you live near a large jewish population, is there any money in being a shabbos goy? assuming that yes, one has nothin better to do with their time No, not really. It barely ever comes up, only in strange and uncommon situations.
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Dec 15, 2016 02:32
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basic hitler posted:If you live near a large jewish population, is there any money in being a shabbos goy? assuming that yes, one has nothin better to do with their time http://www.chabad.org/library/article_cdo/aid/1140867/jewish/The-Myth-of-the-Shabbos-Goy.htm Looks like theres (Big suprise) lots of rules about it
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Dec 15, 2016 02:33
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myDad posted:
The majestic, mythical Jewnicorn.
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Dec 15, 2016 02:38
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Isaac posted:http://www.chabad.org/library/article_cdo/aid/1140867/jewish/The-Myth-of-the-Shabbos-Goy.htm drat i was hoping i could make some easy saturday money 
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Dec 15, 2016 02:42
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basic hitler posted:drat i was hoping i could make some easy saturday money This is where I would make a joke about easy money being made from an observant of the Sabbath, but
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Dec 15, 2016 05:13
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Isaac posted:I got the vaugest memory of some story about a water pump that started pumping up polluted or poisoned water and there was an extremely complicated matter dealing with it on shabbat. at megiddo the last jews there got in a line and the dude next in line would cut the throat of the dude in front of him so they wouldnt go to hell for suicide but then the last guy drew the short straw i guess and killed himself and went to hell so i think someone is probably in hell for loving with the poison water
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Dec 15, 2016 05:18
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President Ark posted:old-style angels were really loving weird some artnerd draws them and theyre way better than the dumb boring white guy with robe and wings thing we got going on now http://www.angelarium.net/seraphim/
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Dec 15, 2016 05:25
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Revelation depicts bizarre angels as well. Of course that's christianity and all, but john q patmos must've been high as hell
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Dec 15, 2016 05:29
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in a lot of mythology you can connect the creatures or gods or whatever to some kind of natural event or something that happened in history. like the tl:dr of the minotaur is the greeks believed the minotaur stomping around in it's labyrinth is why Cyprus had so many earthquakes. wonder if the weird rear end wheels with wings have anything to do with something that actually happened or if it was the result of hashish
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Dec 15, 2016 05:34
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Robo Reagan posted:at megiddo the last jews there got in a line and the dude next in line would cut the throat of the dude in front of him so they wouldnt go to hell for suicide but then the last guy drew the short straw i guess and killed himself and went to hell so i think someone is probably in hell for loving with the poison water I don't think the Jews believe in a literal place called Hell. That sounds a lot like the Josephus Problem.
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Dec 15, 2016 05:52
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Robo Reagan posted:some artnerd draws them and theyre way better than the dumb boring white guy with robe and wings thing we got going on now Get this guy to do the art for the next Shin Megami Tensei game.
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Dec 15, 2016 06:11
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Robo Reagan posted:some artnerd draws them and theyre way better than the dumb boring white guy with robe and wings thing we got going on now Is this extremely loving trippy or is it the cocktail of drugs ive consumed? (serious question)
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Dec 15, 2016 06:15
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Robo Reagan posted:in a lot of mythology you can connect the creatures or gods or whatever to some kind of natural event or something that happened in history. like the tl:dr of the minotaur is the greeks believed the minotaur stomping around in it's labyrinth is why Cyprus had so many earthquakes. wonder if the weird rear end wheels with wings have anything to do with something that actually happened or if it was the result of hashish Fever dreams bro, poo poo gets geometric at a certain point
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Dec 15, 2016 06:44
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Robo Reagan posted:at megiddo the last jews there got in a line and the dude next in line would cut the throat of the dude in front of him so they wouldnt go to hell for suicide but then the last guy drew the short straw i guess and killed himself and went to hell so i think someone is probably in hell for loving with the poison water
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Dec 15, 2016 07:03
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Haier posted:They could have been in a circle so nobody is left out. Going out by throat cut sounds horrible. Too bad wrist slices were probably not known back them. Ouch. circles weren't invented yet idiot
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Dec 15, 2016 08:34
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I thought the mass suicide was at Masada, not Megiddo? IMO a bunch of people who thought the romans wouldn't just build a giant ramp up to their unassailable fortress probably weren't smart enough to improvise a murder circle in their twilight moments.
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Dec 15, 2016 08:40
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basic hitler posted:I thought the mass suicide was at Masada, not Megiddo? tbh it was probably a good as an idea you could come up with. like 2000 years ago i'd have a hard time believing a bunch of assholes would build a big ramp up to my kickass mountain base and yeah masada was the place. megiddo is where the 10 round fight between jesus and satan is going to take place
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Dec 15, 2016 16:56
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Robo Reagan posted:some artnerd draws them and theyre way better than the dumb boring white guy with robe and wings thing we got going on now
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Dec 15, 2016 17:14
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Prettz posted:still too human looking. where's the angel that's just a big ring of eyes? goatse_with_eyes.jpg
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Dec 15, 2016 17:18
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Isaac posted:I got the vaugest memory of some story about a water pump that started pumping up polluted or poisoned water and there was an extremely complicated matter dealing with it on shabbat. seems like if god was that serious about this sort of thing he would handle it himself instead of making people break his rules
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Dec 15, 2016 17:21
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god is a huge rear end in a top hat and the old testament is p much a survival guide on how to survive a lovely life with a vengeful god wrecking everything because he hates you
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Dec 15, 2016 17:21
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This NSFW image about Saul and his foreskin collection is p on-topic. http://imgur.com/iOzfCdb
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Dec 16, 2016 04:40
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Was David the dude that had his enemies all circumcise themselves under the guise of forming a truce, only to turn around and slaughter all of then while they were still healing? Was that just in the regular Old Testament?
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Dec 16, 2016 04:58
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Robo Reagan posted:some artnerd draws them and theyre way better than the dumb boring white guy with robe and wings thing we got going on now these are sick 
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Dec 16, 2016 05:42
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Batterypowered7 posted:Was David the dude that had his enemies all circumcise themselves under the guise of forming a truce, only to turn around and slaughter all of then while they were still healing? Was that just in the regular Old Testament? I believe that's another story, called The Slaughter of the Shechemites or The Rape of Dinah. Shechem, a local prince, lay with Dinah, daughter of Jacob. This offended Dinah's brothers, so Shechem's father offered to pay whatever price was demanded in recompense for the loss of Dinah's virginity. (A very generous response, by the standard of the time.) quote:`The sons of Jacob answered Shechem and his father Hamor deceitfully, because he had defiled their sister Dinah. They said to them, "We cannot do this thing, to give our sister to one who is uncircumcised for that would be a disgrace to us. Only on this condition will we consent to you: that you will become as we are and every male among you be circumcised. Then we will give our daughters to you, and we will take your daughters for ourselves, and we will live among you and become one people. But if you will not listen to us and be circumcised, then we will take our daughter and be gone."' Some good moral lessons here, I think.
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Dec 16, 2016 06:08
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PleasingFungus posted:Some good moral lessons here, I think. So the Shechemites were bad guys? Sounds like they pretty cool about it 
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Dec 16, 2016 06:13
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PleasingFungus posted:I believe that's another story, called The Slaughter of the Shechemites or The Rape of Dinah. The obsession with everyone else's dicks is really weird. Does anyone have any information about why they suddenly, as a tribe/people, decided to start slashing up their own dicks? I don't mean because God said so, I mean like what compelled them to do that while living in a time where a small infection could possibly end your life. If you take out the God part of it, it seriously makes no sense.
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Dec 16, 2016 06:16
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there is a part of the old testament where moses sees god's rear end and i think it temporarily blinds him
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Dec 16, 2016 07:11
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That post username combo had to be intentional
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Dec 16, 2016 07:20
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get that OUT of my face posted:there is a part of the old testament where moses sees god's rear end and i think it temporarily blinds him i dont know what this smilie is for but i want to use it a lot now 
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Dec 16, 2016 07:31
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Rabbi Eliezer Discovers Magic: Uses it to Grow Cucumbersquote:'Moreover, I have studied three hundred, (or, as others state, three thousand laws) about the planting of cucumbers [by magic] and no man, excepting Akiba b. Joseph, ever questioned me thereon. For it once happened that he and I were walking together on a road, when he said to me, "My master, teach me about the planting of cucumbers". I made one statement, and the whole field [about us] was filled with cucumbers. Then he said, "Master, you have taught me how to plant them, now teach me how to pluck them up". I said something and all the cucumbers gathered in one place'
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Dec 16, 2016 09:01
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Your magic trick can only plant cucumbers? Rabbi: *that image of the sunglasses going onto the face that says 'deal with it'*
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Dec 16, 2016 09:05
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Isaac posted:Your magic trick can only plant cucumbers? IMO, having an ability to be awesome at producing a water-rich vegetable that could help save lives in a dry, dusty desert is a p cool power before having stuff like trucks and refrigeration. Did anyone else watch The Naked Archaeologist? I know he's a crazy man with some crazy ideas, but that show was entertaining and I liked seeing all the places he'd go to in Israel, Jordan, and Egypt. The final season (three) had a lot more travel in it and I thought it was good. The topics in the show were about Biblical stories and seeing which could be proven by fact or history, or how something might be possible, etc. If anyone is interested in something like that, I recommend the show.
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Dec 16, 2016 09:32
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