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Oh! An evil wizard thread! Cool! Lemme just transform here-  KLAATU BARADA NIKTO  ". . ."  (poo poo I totally lost my train of thought!)
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Dec 28, 2016 11:51
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| # ¿ May 1, 2024 17:52 |
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I prefer the term "equal-opportunity spirit-empowering occultist" OP, but that's only because I can silent-cast my next spell in the time it takes an adventurer to repeat it.
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Dec 29, 2016 03:19
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Enemy Ace posted:If the warlock lives on a beach, is he then a man sandwich? If a hedge witch and a desert druid have a baby, she'll have successfully made a sandwitch for a man and will thus be stripped of all bonuses from her ranks in Lore: Feminism.
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Dec 29, 2016 03:27
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Companion Cube posted:as an antipaladin I object to your FACE You have detected: There's nothing here.
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Dec 29, 2016 04:02
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CAPT. Rainbowbeard posted:Also, be sure to thank a skeleton for their service. I know I've said this before, but it's worth repeating - so remember: Skeletons don't kill people, irresponsible necromancers do. 
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Dec 29, 2016 19:22
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Honestly if you're looking for a steady supply of blood without all the hassle of constant murders, I'd recommend offering your magical services to aid and protect the girls working at the local brothel or bordello. There's ALWAYS blood at the brothel stand. 
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Dec 29, 2016 21:40
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For my own reasons I like to stay as close to True Neutral in my alignment as possible, but I tend to automatically *do the right thing* by others whenever I'm asked for help, and so sometimes as aa result that makes me come off as more Good-aligned than I really want. I've finally worked out a system so I can reach my evil quota for each day: Avoid people at all costs so they can't ask me for help. Beat myself up in the nether regions until reagents come out. Wear offensive, dirty, or abrasive clothing. Accessorize to look mostly like an rear end in a top hat to anyone who doesn't know you (which should be everyone). Don't call your mother back and make her worry for over an hour. Smoke weed every day and get loud whenever drunk. Think about doing a crime really hard. Become a mooch upon society and post on dead comedy forums. Any more pro-tips for minor evil acts?
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Dec 30, 2016 06:47
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Commoners posted:I accidentally left the secret exit that leads back to the entrance of my dungeon so that I don't have to backtrack open, and adventurers entered my loot room and took everything. I didn't have all of my art pieces and magical equipment listed out or appraised for value, how should I go about contacting my dungeon owner's insurance to try to get at least some of the value back from what was stolen? Depends - are the curses yours? In most cases an accursed items' value is lowered by a percentage based upon the power of the curse (usually 95-99%), since the corruption of evil souls trapped within the material fabric of a luxury item like a gold ring or a fine silk robe or a pair of fine leather boots will obviously try to invalidate any insurance claims made against them if there hasn't been any prior identification, and besides curses tend to void the authenticity of the authenticity certificates, SO - unless you can prove that you could've removed the curses yourself (which obviously you can't since the item's gone- those fools!) then I'm afraid you're up the Styx without a Charon to paddle. I know it really makes no sense since the curses themselves seemed like a pretty decent theft prevention measure when you cast them in the first place, but unless you put a tracking charm into your curses's serial hex then you're probably hosed getting any of this back. Sorry man 
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Dec 30, 2016 09:43
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mycomancy posted:I'd go with the blue crystals. OSHA inspectors get their tits in a twist about open flame, even if it's the arcane kind. ^^^ This, plus weatherproofing a skull for outdoor installation is a NIGHTMARE, not to mention all the cleaning you have to do with skulls! The only bonus to putting skull lamps outside is that do they attract large swarms of rats, bats, snakes and spiders to live outside your home.
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Dec 31, 2016 00:16
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Jan 2, 2017 04:40
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Linux Pirate posted:I cast spells to make my farts into boats and dragons, also to make my farts visible. And I don't go in for that cliche green gas fart visualization, I make my farts look like they are going to smell good like minty breeze on a crisp winter morning but it actually smells like rotten Chinese food and sulfur. A blue-green wave of fresh wintery winds sparkles over a bounty of coffee grounds, eggshells, and banana peels. Adventurer, do you search the trash bag for treasure? Y/N
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Jan 2, 2017 08:43
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Lucky Guy posted:when was the last time you carried an enchanted printing press to yon fair maiden's apartment? When you're an illusionist-turned-demilich, you don't need to bring the printer - you ARE the printer! COLOR SPRAAAYUUUUUGHH  
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Jan 3, 2017 22:04
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Also I think my cat might be a wizard 
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Jan 3, 2017 22:07
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GRILLARY CLINTON posted:i thought this was the reason we all used so many skeletons When you get too many skeletons you get to have skeleton gladiatorial matches, which results in a huge glut of bone chips and a new pecking order for your skeletal bone powder production line. "Too many skeletons" hahahaha that's like saying "spiders can't get any bigger."
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Jan 4, 2017 08:44
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It was only feigning death.
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Feb 6, 2017 01:54
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CAPT. Rainbowbeard posted:This wizbro here?  THIS is Black Gandalf  Wait, no, THIS is Black Gandalf   Wait, NO (jfc) THIS is Black Gandalf:  Ah, yesssssss, siiiiiick 
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Feb 11, 2017 07:45
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| # ¿ May 1, 2024 17:52 |
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Wizards Only, Fools
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Feb 12, 2017 21:01
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