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hey guys, looking for the 23 Dark Librams of Occultic Mathmagic (ORIGINAL EDITIONS ONLY, PLEASE) to operate this Loom of Darkness I found in one of my towers. Will trade Crystal of Temporal Hatred, or Hobgoblin growvats, that I no longer have a use for. Serious inquiries Only. And to YOU KNOW WHO .. I want my Copy of Litanies of The Sunken Stars back, or I swear to the Thousand Spells Known To Sorcery you're gonna have more to worry about than some abbed out normies knocking over your shelf of transcendent curios.
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Jan 4, 2017 00:09
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| # ¿ May 3, 2024 12:06 |
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CAPT. Rainbowbeard posted:Can the Crystal be modified for Eternal Hatred purposes? I know, Temporal Hatred is almost as good as Eternal Hatred but I kind of need to be sure of things for... reasons. Sure, do you have any runes of recursion? just slap that bad boy on, and the hate should loop indefinitely. I knew a guy who powered his scrying rig for years doing that. Anyway, which one of you is siphoning dread dust from the 12th Umbral Plane under The Saturnal Declination. I've been cultivating that dread dust for the last 66 lunar cycles, and some bozo decides to help himself. Dread Dust doesn't grow itself! And by the way, I'm getting really sick of hearing skeleton dogs howling at the new moon... I have half a mind to call the HOA. hell astro course fucked around with this message at 18:13 on Jan 4, 2017 |
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Jan 4, 2017 18:08
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I used to do the whole 'town' thing, but it gets so draining. The hustle and bustle, the gentrifying lesser nobles coming in, turning my favorite abandoned mill into an artisan grainery. Sure, you have access to live stock, reagents, night life..etc.. but I tell you, investing in a translocating castle that only appears in the mists every 13 years under the ghastly light of a blood moon is the way to go. One night of pure malevolent revelry, and you save a fortune on property taxes. Just make sure to hex your soil ahead of time, to keep out squatters.
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Jan 4, 2017 20:08
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basic hitler posted:Moving castles kust make me forget why i fit into wizarding- its about the people. It always has been sounds like a nerd-rear end merlin thing to say to me.... Now, seriously, who has been siphoning my Dread Dust...I want answers...don't make me send out the 20 eyed crows, they poop everywhere.
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Jan 4, 2017 21:09
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the pizza police posted:be careful with this because once you get on the bad side of the Occult Safety & Health inspectors they start scheduling their audits on blood moons and suddenly you're looking at another 13 years of boooooooooring You forget to pay the shadow tax on ONE eldritch horror, and they're on your butt. Here's a good tip though... get a dragon (like the skeleton of one, or a lesser wyrm...definitely don't mess with the fully grown ones...so annoying, with their 'true tongue' and 'lies'), then claim all your wizard gold and jewels as 'nesting materials' on your occult tax return. sweet geek swag posted:The whole thing took care of itself as it turns out. My ex-apprentice was using the dread dust to summon a corrupting horror beast to send after me. But unfortunately for him he sent it here right as the paladin was attacking me. The paladin assumed that I summoned it and killed it, but not before getting infected by my ex-apprentices dark corruption spell which he'd cast on the beasts claws. Here's where it gets great, my ex-apprentice didn't change the spell from what I had taught him, so I was able to immediately inflame the corruption, before the paladin could cleanse it, turning him into my Blackguard slave. My idiot ex-apprentice stepped through his portal and instead of seeing me dead (as if a simple horror beast could kill me), got an unholy sword to the face. Listen, this was heirloom artisan dread dust, buddy! I don't appreciate you mucking up my dread dust patch! We'll see, just give me 13 more lunar cycles to test the quality.... At least we don't have yahoos running around caked in dread dust anymore.... I expect you'll at least lend me access to some of your rarer tomes as compensation... hell astro course fucked around with this message at 23:56 on Jan 4, 2017 |
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Jan 4, 2017 23:05
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basic hitler posted:Some of us turned evil in the pursuit of reviving dead loved ones please dont kinkshame Haven't you ever read the 'Lesser Studies of The Liturgies of Ironic Causality'. Dude, Wizards definitely don't have boyfriends or girlfriends, and especially 'loved ones'. That's why we hang out in our towers ALONE. By learning wizard magic, you've caused a casual loop to have lost your love ones in the first place. Classic rookie move. My condolences, nerd. I'll send you a few bottles of my Elderberry Moonwine... but don't drink more than 3 cups, or every forest bogan in a half mile will start manifesting itself, and that's a mess you don't want to clean up in the morning. Anyway, whoever has my copy of THE LITANIES OF THE SUNKEN STARS, I want it back. I'm getting salty over here.
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Jan 4, 2017 23:12
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CAPT. Rainbowbeard posted:It's best to not be a cartoonishly evil wizard, it's true. That's it. and this goes to everyone in this thread...my library is off limits! Consider all of my tomes hexed. That goes double for you Rainbowbeard The Malevolent, Champion of the isles of Forgotten Hate, Whisperer of The 8 Illegal Phrases, Friend to False Dreams Of Bezos! I know your number, Buddy... don't think I don't know your other names too! And don't think I haven't conjured an Argus Panoptes to keep an eye on my shelves from now on...so don't get any wise ideas. I'm looking at you Naem of The 13 Lies Whispered By The Lament Of The Betrayed Wind! and Sweet Geek Swag, of The Soiled Robes Of The Twin Halls of Entropy! I've told all of my Blue Skeletons (that's right, the blue ones, not the regular bone colored ones) to attack any trespassing wizard on sight! Wicker Man posted:Local wizards, I'm sure. Sure, maybe I tried Wicker Man of The Ill-Possessed Sun's 'Walking Potion'.. but I regret nothing. Consider yourselves banned!
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Jan 6, 2017 03:57
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sweet geek swag posted:No one is impressed that you remember the titles we got from our dark wizard frat key party favors. Also I wouldn't break into your library if you would return the dark codex I loaned you when I asked you to. I told you, I NEED the Dark Codex to create Runes of Transcendental Bile, to help maintain my nightmare portal.... which will totally be done in like less than 30 moon phases... besides, my library is way more handsome than yours, and I think the codex would be happier with all my other tomes, librams, and bone shelves made out of sad elves... I'm keeping The codex!
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Jan 6, 2017 04:39
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sweet geek swag posted:Dude, you knew I needed it back to summon a Darkmoon vampire by the last new moon when I loaned it to you. Luckily for you these paladins had like six of them in their 'forbidden library' down here in the undercrypts otherwise my undead army would be knocking on your door. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kNkabtC8oPk
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Jan 9, 2017 03:30
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I once drank too much moonwine, and thought it would be a good idea to infuse a demon into a sword..you know... get a sassy talking sword that hungers for blood? But nope, all the demon did was pitifully groan... no sassy lines or nothing! I threw the sword into a lake... anyway all demons are different, something to keep in mind.
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Jan 9, 2017 15:32
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Hey fellow Evil Wizards... does anyone know any incantations, invocations, or hexes to get a good parking spot in an urban core? Dark Magic, Blood Magic, and Demon Magic are ok, because there's no such thing as right or wrong. Please advise. I will trade you the spell for a batch of enthralled goblins. (Note: They're swamp goblins.)
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Feb 10, 2017 18:53
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Just turn elf blood into gold. Mortal Money is pointless. You can get a MUCH bigger R.O.I on sorrow and despair. I've been hording Despair Infused Gems for quite awhile, they make for great currency on the ethereal planes, especially if you have make a deal or two with an Extradimensional Entity of Evil, you know, an EEE... In fact, now has never been a better time to invest in Despair Gems...send your blood ravens to The Crooked Spire upon Mistmire, and 5 o.z of dread dust, and I'll cut you a deal.
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Feb 11, 2017 01:06
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VendaGoat posted:*rolls a natural twenty on sense motive* uhg. dice wizards. I'm getting all the Blood Ravens together for a major Conspiracy, and YOU just HAD to ruin the surprise. Consider yourself ALSO banned from my library, VendaGoat! I'm taking you off the bookshare program! No more Librams of The Howling Earth for you! Freakin' Dice Wizards!
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Feb 11, 2017 19:43
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all magic is evil, right? stop pretending 'non-evil' wizards. all magic is evil.
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Feb 28, 2017 05:14
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VendaGoat posted:Hello Cleric. who're you calling cleric? How dare you. Haven't you ever read The Litanies of The Sunken Stars!? You've probably read my blacktongue to wizard-english translation! That's it, I'm getting out my dark sextant just as soon as the moon's cusp is in the house of The Lost Tomb of Malevolence I'm going to channel some really nasty dark energies! Just you wait buddy! Everything you'll eat will taste like celery! THE NERVE!
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Feb 28, 2017 23:18
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a bone to pick posted:please, stop RPing as a wizard now, you're 40 years old. you got it backwards, that's when you start
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Mar 1, 2017 00:55
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naem posted:Yes everyone over 30 please stop having any and all fun and go stand alone in the corner weeping for the next 50+ years thanks The ol' 50 year stand in the corner and weeping to summon an extra planar gloomphage ritual... classic prank..
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Mar 1, 2017 01:43
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CAPT. Rainbowbeard posted:Do you even know what The Laws are? I'm not talking about laws for some kind of dummy no-maj. those are more 'guidelines'. If you're telling me I CAN'T draw upon the Dark Magicks from 28th Liminal Plane of The Elder Archetypon of Sorrow you might as well turn in your Evil Wizard Mantle. Everyone knows it's an Evil Wizard's job is to break the boundaries of ethereal law, sure... a few of our colleagues might accidentally unleash devastating horror, or get devoured by books... but we can't just keep relying on skeleton armies. You gotta think outside the scrying orb, man. Smoke some nightgrass, have a bit of moonwine, and disentwine the fabric of fate. That's why we all got in this business in the first place.
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Mar 1, 2017 20:45
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jon joe posted:I'm laughing evily at anyone who doesn't keep their skeletons on a strictly programmatic behavior. What's your Bone OS?
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Mar 2, 2017 00:58
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There's nothing wrong with skeletons, heck, I have skeletons manning most of my castle at the moment... If you have a translocating castle that only appears every few moons (like I do), they phase in and out brilliantly. Good stuff... Crystals are great too, mean lol if you aren't backing up your malevolent soul magic on crystals these days... Anyway... some knucklehead villagers decided to destroy a lodestone atop one of my favorite peaks... so I'm looking to phase in my castle to a different locale next full moon... can someone hook me up with a good spot? I'll unban you from my library. Namaste.
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Mar 2, 2017 01:37
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fleshy echidna posted:Hey guys I have a real problem. I used to be a death wizard who was prolonging his life through the use of a necromantic amulet, but just yesterday I accidentally mixed dragon's blood with ooze acid and well I've just darn near melted my whole body off. Does this mean I'm a lich now? I've always considered "boning up" but now I seriously have to face the consequences of this action and I'm worried that my A.D.W.A membership might be revoked. Any advice for what to do after an accidental lichification? until you can grow a new body in a vat, welcome to lich life. Every evil wizard goes through this stage, it's basically a rite of passage. Good luck!
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Mar 2, 2017 02:29
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fleshy echidna posted:Thanks for the advice and support guys, now that I've basically got the tedious part over of removing most of my organs I think I'm gonna man up and find me the eyes of some innocent intelligent creature to use as the catalyst for a proper phylactery of glass and flesh. I have a few cusps of the overworld I can sell you, they fit magnificently onto the eye... just send your familiar with payment to my gloomspire...
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Mar 2, 2017 02:51
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Socks4Hands posted:It has been done. Sent. Sorry if my Basilisk ate your familiar... Also, use those cusps with caution, I knew a wizard after them, and got totally owned by a tagteam of an extra-planar parasite and a sly thief... I'm just saying if you try to use a vat-grown extra-terrestrial parasite to control your thralls, you might get bit in the butt...
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Mar 3, 2017 02:42
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WrenP-Complete posted:I tell all the birds they are beautiful, not just ravens. I am a shameful evil wizard. birds are tyrants of the sky, the advanced evolution of the lizard brain, any evil wizard worth their deathsalt should give them praise.
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Mar 15, 2017 05:02
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spring equinox in 2 days, everyone. Anyone doing some cool magicks? Hope you have all your moon librams ready.
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Mar 19, 2017 02:18
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Rutibex posted:not if i have anything to say about it listen pal, if your temporal distortions mess up the moon phases, I'm gonna have a bone to pick with you, and I mean each and every bone in your skeleton army. I got a lot riding on this equinox.
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Mar 19, 2017 02:32
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hey dorks, it's the waxing gibbous, and my translocating castle appeared on a mountain top again. I was sorta busy with some other projects...I'm not encroaching on anyones territory am I? You can have access to my library (YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE IF YOU ARE BANNED). Anyway, I finally got my "Litany of The Sunken Stars" back.. I just need some sulfur, peat moss, and locally grown beets, will trade.
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Apr 7, 2017 23:50
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sneakyfrog posted:*sigh* fine. I want that bone tit! Last time I let you into the library you mixed up the codexes and Librams. I told you to leave any tome you take from the shelves ON THE DESKS! You will mess up my organization otherwise! ...anyway my castle should. Vanish after the full moon on the first waning gibbous... everyone here knows the drill.
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Apr 8, 2017 04:22
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*peels off fake beard* actually i've been an evil witch all along, and I got all yer numbers...literally your actual numbers.. lol. peace. *flies away on a broom to the my moon castle*
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Apr 13, 2017 01:41
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sneakyfrog posted:call me? nice try... but I'm talking about your ethereal credit rating number, you know.. your sorcerer security numbers... and guess what...I don't care about committing fraud, because I'm a witch, I'll just convert those numbers to hex.
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Apr 13, 2017 01:46
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Every time any of you utter an integer my power grows...
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Apr 15, 2017 03:58
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extremely busy with the eclipse. where were you guys? I basically had to solo this. wtf class of the third liminal skull? where were you guys?
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Aug 22, 2017 04:29
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BROTHERS *kicks over cauldron drunkenly* happy day of the heart. Which necromancer isn't their own love of the eve? Also, you assholes still need to return those tomes to my library. I'm counting the days! Anyway, I've phased my castle into myriad planes so I can give you all real estate advice... .. just can you PLEASE return the lost tomes 'the kingdoms of a thousand sunken stars' and 'betwixt light: for journeymen' ... I don't know which one of your thralls stole them from my library but...come on.... My planar astrogeography is better than the best novice necromancer in the thread...calling you out, skypie
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Feb 15, 2018 02:25
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Skypie posted:What the gently caress did you just loving say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Necro Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on the High Templar, and I have over 300 confirmed raised dead. I am trained in shadowy warfare and I’m the top caster in the entire demiplane warlock forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the gently caress out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this loving plane, mark my loving words. You think you can get away with saying that poo poo to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of ghouls across the realm and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the bobestorm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re loving dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the Demiplane Network of Necromancy and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable rear end off the face of the continent, you little poo poo. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your loving tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will poo poo fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re loving dead, kiddo. Dude, I get it. I've seen a thousand like you. I get this every time. Please just return the tome...I can send you some mud goblins...
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Feb 15, 2018 03:41
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| # ¿ May 3, 2024 12:06 |
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Ok, it's the lunar new year. praise the moon. My castle is about to phase back into the anti-ether...... so I am putting out an ultimatum: Those of you who do not return books you have purloined, borrowed, checked out, or stolen from my library.... heed my hex... a darkness shall fall upon you. an unreturned book shall become a curse. May the shadows of your dreams collapse into stars of hate.
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Feb 17, 2018 03:30
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