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Hey everyone. I'm looking for a little help with potential phylacteries. Someone earlier mentioned the bard who made his a song and I was wondering if anyone had any tomes on using abstract concepts. I mostly do work in theoretical wizardry so this is more for an upcoming symposium than practical use, but I was wondering if you might be able to use the abstract concept of Death as a phylactery. Ideally your own death would power the reaction but I doubt that would be feasible. Any thoughts? On a related note, I was trying to trap a demiplane I had created into a gemstone and, well I simply have the worst handwriting and couldn't read my own notes, and anyway I think I've created an enchanted sapphire that contains... well... us. I mean, I'm in the lab holding the sapphire but the lab and myself are also in the sapphire. ... I'm sure it'll be fine. Better not drop it! 
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Feb 2, 2018 06:37
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| # ¿ May 5, 2024 07:19 |
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Hey guys, First off, tabling the "death as phylactery" project for now. It's not that I've lost interest, and I think the theory is sound, but it's a matter of practicality and right now there are other things that need my attention more. That's actually my other big announcement. The neighboring elven kingdoms and the (human) kingdom of Elfenheim agreed to an armistice with me and in the spirit of friendship and goodwill we're all collaborating on a massive industrial project to generate massive amounts of renewable energy to all peoples. I know I have this reputation because of the company I keep, but I'm not really an evil wizard. I just have different ideas about progress than what the council would deem "orthodox". But I digress. I'm still working out the design kinks, but it's essentially a scaled up form of Mordenkainen's Portal Collider. Except that instead of opening the portals and then smashing them into each other, the portals will just be opened onto each other simultaneously, releasing massive amounts of chaos energy into the batteries. The trick was figuring out how many portals to open, and where to open the portals to. 1. One portal releases trace amounts of chaos energy, which is not cost-effective to trap. Conversely, large quantites of portals stabilize into three dimensional dimensional distortions, which renders the energy inaccessible unless the structure is breached. At which point everything explodes. Great for bombs, bad for power. Two portals provides the right balance of violently released energy and inherent instability. 2. Conventional wisdom holds that portals must be linked to a specific destination in another realm, but this is by custom and not an inherent limitation of portals. Portals can be designated to lead to abstract locations, to themselves, or even to other portals. Without giving away the patented process, this was the big breakthrough. Everything is perfectly according to plan save for a minor detail. The contraption requires a focus, an anchor if you will. Ideally the anchor is a gemstone containing a demiplane in which the excess burst of raw magic from the initial reaction can be safely channeled into. Unfortunately I messed up the spell, and rather than trap a different dimension into this sapphire, this sapphire contains this very universe... the same one the sapphire itself is in. I know what you're thinking, but this is well within acceptable bounds. For one thing our universe is much much larger than the demiplane, and the magic will be evenly distributed. It would certainly have destroyed that dimension, but I would be surprised if anyone noticed in this one.
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Feb 10, 2018 10:42
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P.S. I might be a little out of order on things. It's hard to put everything in the right spot right now. Anyway that's all for now. I left a lot out of my previous post, but there's a lot to digest and I don't fully understand everything that happened. More information when I get some time to collect my thoughts.
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Feb 12, 2018 02:34
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fruit on the bottom posted:P.S. I might be a little out of order on things. It's hard to put everything in the right spot right now. Oh, now I get it. That's actually pretty funny when you put it all togethe— —Ok. We're just about ready to start this thing up. About ten minutes from now we should be looking at an effectively infinite source of energy. Just need to do a few last minute che— —tarting to feel a bit better. The portal's coming back in to focus too, so... home? I guess. To be perfectly honest, I'm still not totally sure what order everything goes in but I can at least separate me from me from me from me from me from me from m— —ooks like a couple of things were changed. Nothing important, from the looks of it. Looks like some of the obsidian was swapped out for some malachite. Not ideal, but easier to get ahold of this time of year, I suppose. Effect should be negligible. I want to double check those bearings though, I'm not sure they're entirel— —reaking out. Not sure who. Can see self...selves? I? Us? All paths. Every path. Go left. Go right. Make choice, but see every result. We... *I* can see a million million permutations of it all. *I*... see ourselves make every choice, and every outcome. But... sometimes the outcome happens first? It's all happening out of order. After comes before, before comes after. I am stronger though. We are stronger? Not sure by how much, but much. Also a clearer picture of what I expelled. I thin— —nd here we go! Oh that's a beautiful beam of energy. Perfectly within my predictions too! You always worry about the decimals but sometimes you just get lu... hold that thought for a second. Where's that grinding noise coming from? Uh-oh. Pretty sure *that's* not suppose to happ— —ell that was gross. Whatever that thing was it just scampered off into the void. Still black and featureless of face, but the spikes at least explain why it hurt so much coming up. Wait a minute, i-is that me out there? Ah, that must be another version of me. Not surprising in a place like this. Not big on the fedora though. Ah, there's more. Hmmm.... that must be me as a Warlock (trying a bit hard imo), me as a "Good" wizard? (I look sexy in white.) And me as... oh dear. Remind me to never visit the anime dimension. Oh my, there certainly are a lot of you. Hold on, don't come any closer! What are you do— —o let's recap. The spell had some major oversights in the formula, the elves cut some major corners, and I *did* gently caress up the decimal so that the raw magic blasting into our own dimension was off by about three orders of magnitude? Lovely. At least once everyone gets the Spellplague it won't be possible for this day to get any wor— —re's what I know so far: Judging by the spatial distortions, I appear to be *between* the portals somehow. I suppose I fell in? It closed behind me so I guess I was at least able to stop the reaction. So I'm either in some non-existing pocket, or in some kind of beyond realm. Which is pretty cool, I suppose. Time doesn't seem to flow normally here. I arrived minutes ago, but there's no way of knowing how it corresponds in relation. Still, at least I have a chance to study the <hurk> I guess breaking reality in a localized sphere of the universe doesn't play well with digestion. Just need to take a breath and <vomit> What is this? It's all black and... oh my gods! It's movi— —ll I have to do then is go into the collider and counterspell the magic at the exact moment it warps around the gem. Shouldn't be too hard. Not sure what will happen to me when I do but if I don't then the world might be destroyed! And there's a lot of work I haven't backed up yet. fruit on the bottom posted:P.S. I might be a little out of order on things. It's hard to put everything in the right spot right now. Strange. I don't remember writing that. christmas boots fucked around with this message at 09:01 on Feb 13, 2018 |
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Feb 13, 2018 08:54
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basic hitler posted:You wrote <baaaarf>? What? Where?
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Feb 13, 2018 09:01
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Yeah, there’s no high like a portal high. Also I’m immortal now and can perceive all possible timelines at once. My dick doesn’t work anymore though, so I’ve been trying to find a way to undo it
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Feb 14, 2018 01:43
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I used to date a sorceress who was into that. One time she wanted to chew up my dinner and spit it into my mouth so I banished her to another plane and that was that.
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Feb 14, 2018 02:33
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Power_of_the_glory posted:Hi, I've been a skeleton for a few decades doing various errands for my master. Unfortunately, he was slain by a group of adventurers while I was away collecting corpses. So I'm now unemployed and have had no luck finding employment. It has been a long time since I've had to pound the pavement, but why are job requirements so insane nowadays? You would think being an animate skeleton would be enough for menial work, but now everyone demands a college degree. I tried to go finish my degree from back when I still had flesh, but how am I supposed to get financing when the banks discriminate against me for being dead? Bigots. Any tips would be appreciated. If you're willing to occasionally be the main consciousness of a colossal bone golem used primarily for the purpose of reminding the local governments that my income is not taxable, as well as battling the occasional eldritch monstrosity that I may have inadvertently allowed to enter our reality, I'm definitely willing to hire you on a trial basis. There's plenty of on-the-job training so the most important quality is your willingness to take on new responsibilities. There may even be room for advancement to higher forms of undeath as well.
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Feb 20, 2018 03:10
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Hey if anyone wants to swing by later tonight we're gonna get real hosed up on portals and party with some frost giants.
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Feb 25, 2018 02:21
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poverty goat posted:im guessing all the good skeletons have wandered off or been snatched up already but if anyone's near sweden they just found a whole loving village of 1500 year old vikings who were apparently murdered en masse in their homes and left to rot where they fell. what a loving backstory for a skeleton army, i bet you barely even need magic to get them dancing Oh whoops I knew I forgot something. 
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Apr 26, 2018 18:23
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I own a series of bed and breakfasts along the sword coast and the money I make from charging for condiments more or less covers my whole evil enterprise.
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Apr 26, 2018 22:03
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Skypie posted:Do you typically give the first one free but then make sure it's actually more empty than the others, thus enticing them to purchase more? Yup. I also offer a rewards card.
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Apr 26, 2018 23:03
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If you’re looking to become an immortal just do what I did and open several portals onto several other portals so that they overlap on an infinite plane, merge with countless versions of yourself across the time-space continuum and vomit our a dark ichor that you later understand to be your mortality given form. There is a slight side-effect in that you become a temporal abomination that the very forces of reality itself try to hunt down and also erectile dysfunction but that’s actually only because you’re still half-assing it. Then you just have to back to the moment of your birth and strangle the infant version of yourself as he draws his first breath. Then you will become an effect without cause and free from the shackles of nature. Tragically the penis remains vestigial.
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May 1, 2018 02:36
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Wait, there are other kinds?
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May 1, 2018 05:42
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Vernii posted:Seems like a pretty high risk effort to achieve basically the same eternal existence that lichdom can get you. I mean, granted its definitely faster, but it also comes with the risk of unmaking yourself across all realities if you screw up. It was more of an accident, really. I was helping test a perpetual energy machine as part of a multi-kingdom cooperative venture and things went a bit well, you know how it goes. I was neutral at the time, but murdering your infant self as he stared at you with innocent childlike eyes kind of changes you as a person. For example, I’m no longer afraid of public speaking.
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May 2, 2018 21:11
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| # ¿ May 5, 2024 07:19 |
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Call up J.B. Flumpwhistle, he may have something for the Wizaids
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May 3, 2018 21:19
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