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Rayjenkins posted:Hey I've been making a lot of foreign investments into the elemental plane of business, you know things like orphan soul futures and the precious soul stones fund, but I'm using cursed gold I found deep beneath the ocean that I looted from the Deep Ones. I'm not a wizard or anything, but this poo poo is starting to get really magical and I'm just an accounting clerk who was looking for some quick money. What kind of repercussions could I expect? It's not like orphan soul futures is gonna bottom out any time soon with you guys burning through them by the truck-load. how does an accounting clerk steal Deep Ones gold? smells fishy to me. either way ur prob fuckz0rs
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Apr 15, 2017 15:53
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| # ¿ May 5, 2024 05:23 |
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was just scrying with some cultists, turns out the deep ones' gold is just fine and they don't know poo poo about this "accounting clerk". called my buddies on the inside at the WPD to run a background check on this guy - turns out he's some loving scrub rogue who pulls investment scams on various wizarding forums (damsel in distress, plz just put a lil money in this account and i should be good, never seen again). gently caress off buddy. reported. i also asked the cultists to add u to their chant for the next couple hundred years so LOL when the deep ones wake up. again, gently caress off.
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Apr 15, 2017 16:09
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Office Surprise Store posted:imo too many wizards of the current generation lean too hard on the old spells, searing the flesh from the bones of your enemies with fire magic, corrupting their innards with dark magic, freezing their blood with ice magic, so on and so forth. get creative, mix up your magics, how long has it been since you heard of a wizard tearing someone's limbs off with hands made from the earth, or using air magic to force your foe to fall eternally until he is either slowly flayed or starves to death? it's these kinds of things that will set you apart from just yet another generic wizard. look dude plz take this carebear poo poo to weddit. i'm all for "playing how you want" but the meta is what it is. sure you can spec into those recently discovered earth spells if u want, but in sweats everyone is at the top of their game and you need every edge you can get to not loving die. until the gods start making changes to this plane's laws of reality to allow for more varied builds, you're gonna keep seeing a ton of gently caress you fireballs cuz they are simple and they work and they kill people.
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Apr 15, 2017 16:38
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Rayjenkins posted:I consider such accusations to be very serious and I will be contacting the magical law offices of Xomgax and Daqmar the Bloodgorger. They are demons and they will sue your loving soul into oblivion. You have no loving idea the poo poo-torrent of woes you have unleashed upon yourself. You'll just be another destitute nobody to the elemental plane of business and then how do you expect to get a mortgage for your castle? You won't even be able afford a wand when they're through with you.  just lol at this guy. wizards (well decent ones) have all their poo poo keybound nowadays. loving wands? lmao. the last decent wizard that used a wand was that voldemort human being and he got killed by a literal baby. so tell me again how an accounting clerk stole the deep ones gold? please enlighten me i'm all ears 
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Apr 15, 2017 16:50
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Rayjenkins posted:How I happened upon my wealth is not a matter for public discussion. If you continue down this crass and dillusional path you will invariably anger not only the elemental plane of business but the arbiters of this reality as well. You will be hearing from my lawyers shortly, good day sir. say hello to xomgax and daqmar's moms for me
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Apr 15, 2017 17:03
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Rayjenkins posted:At first this news shook me real bad, but this is actually great for me. I'll live forever and gain access to a major market that few people dare to tread. I'll learn of non-Euclidean business paradigms. I'll be thinking outside the tesseract! The innsmouth look is a small price to pay for immortality and financial security. and heeere comes the pitch - "i'll share all these secrets and more for the small price of 9999 gold pieces! just warp them directly to (36.83537, -85.43432, 74.32222)" why are you feeding this dude ark? are you colluding or some poo poo? if so i guess i approve, pretty evil also i realized the deep ones actually specifically refer to the gibbering fish idiots and not the beings they worship. i conflated them earlier and that was pretty crass of me, just because we're evil doesn't make it okay to be willfully ignorant
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Apr 15, 2017 18:55
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Rayjenkins posted:What pitch? Although I must admit these are some door-opening secrets I'm now privy to. Imagine being able to pay off your otherworldly debts in but a few centuries, or finally having the power to build that dream lair on the elemental plane of vacation homes? Hell with enough can-do spirit you could own your very own elemental plane of vacations! Now am I going to give out these secrets for free? I wouldn't be a very good accounting clerk if I did, but what I can do is set up an account at the firm I do all of my financial transactions through. You can forward all business inquiries at 47°9′S 126°43′W. somebody plz send an army of zombies to that location i don't have the mats atm
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Apr 15, 2017 19:36
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Peanut Butler posted:EMERGENCY MY PISS IS INVISIBLE WHAT HAPPENED Eat a rat. Just like, pick up a rat (live one) and eat it. Trust me this fixes it.
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Apr 15, 2017 22:26
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Who What Now posted:You gotta eat the whole rat, though. Miss even a single hair or piece of dander and it wont work. Soul too. oh yeah and make sure you let it bite your dick first. that part is probably the MOST important. if it doesn't work you'll have to get another rat and get it to bite even harder.
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Apr 15, 2017 23:21
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i tested a new low-cost teleportation spell on myself last week (new to this, no thralls, "bootstrapping") and think i hosed something up. my skin is flaking like crazy, can barely stomach food, been barfing up weird goop. couldn't find anything matching on wizmd
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May 3, 2018 00:57
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uh my dick just fell off
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May 3, 2018 00:58
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| # ¿ May 5, 2024 05:23 |
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so, 23 diagon alley bums later, finally figured out avada kedavra. some of you guys are alright, don't go to school tomorrow
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May 3, 2018 09:24
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