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do you guys ever get nostalgic for pitchforks? i used to have a great spell to turn them into snakes but i don't think peasants even know what to do with a pitchfork anymore. they'd kill each other with them by accident before they even got to the gates. some idiot peasants from the village have been writing letters or something, blaming me for an outbreak of hooved children. now im going to have to enthrall the mayor, maybe the governor. but first im going to turn all those goddamned letters and petitions into wasps and would you believe its not even me this time, its some college necromancer in town that nobody even suspects poverty goat fucked around with this message at 19:31 on Jan 4, 2017 |
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Jan 4, 2017 19:29
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give the man a break at least hes not an elf-loving pedophone
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Jan 5, 2017 16:14
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Krunge posted:Do any of you know how to get rid of a unending hunger curse? I was doing it with a hot witch and I refused to go down on her, so she cursed me and now there's a risk that I'm going to transform myself into a star eating eldritch horror just to sate my hunger. Witches, am I right? i got 99 problems but a witch aint one
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Jan 6, 2017 15:23
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Speleothing posted:Kink is not evil! Stop acting like it is. you ever seen a man raped to death by skeletons? zombies? thats my poo poo
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Feb 20, 2017 15:42
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Mad Hamish posted:poo poo, I thought I was the only one who realized just how awful elves are. Of course you can't just go around saying this to people, you get branded as a horrible racist even though every third phrase that elves speak is some garbage about 'lesser races'. Somehow when they say it it's perfectly fine. once in wizard college i walked in on my dwarf roommate loving a rock. lmao
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Feb 20, 2017 16:35
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Rutibex posted:what would a skeleton even rape you with most animals actually have dick bones
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Feb 22, 2017 04:21
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Vultures smell like poo poo and they regurgitate rotten roadkill when startled as a defensive measure. Which can be great fun, but not in the tower
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Oct 13, 2017 20:59
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Ravens are basically parrots if they weren't really dumb and obnoxious so just get one of those. They're a classic for good reason
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Oct 13, 2017 21:19
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HELLBITCH posted:I got unlucky and wound up with a lineage of fruitflies as my familiar so I periodically have to leave food in the Million Fly Pit so it may spawn more of itself into being fruitflies are huge in genetics research so im sure there's an evil breakthrough here, like fruitflies that can evolve into ravens in 24-36 hours. and then youve got a real loving familiar
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Oct 15, 2017 04:27
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The villagers woke me up at the crack of dawn (again) begging me to end the famine, so I sold them some magic beans from the poo poo monks of the plane of farts, cursed with a little side project I'm tentatively naming "wind of kale" Stay away from the village is what I'm saying, unless you're a necro in which case it might be a nice palette cleanser
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Oct 16, 2017 18:34
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Oct 17, 2017 17:02
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What kind of chair are we talking about? If it's got some nice upholstery going on a simple glass of cursed wine may be enough to frighten it into submission
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Oct 19, 2017 19:18
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im guessing all the good skeletons have wandered off or been snatched up already but if anyone's near sweden they just found a whole loving village of 1500 year old vikings who were apparently murdered en masse in their homes and left to rot where they fell. what a loving backstory for a skeleton army, i bet you barely even need magic to get them dancing
poverty goat fucked around with this message at 04:46 on Apr 26, 2018 |
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Apr 26, 2018 04:43
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UltraRed posted:Guys, I just found out how to be an evil wizard on easy mode. Forget necromancy all together. You can just ensorcel the existing power structure. I've done nothing but watch my crystal ball and eat grapes peeled by virgins in my underwear for the past 2 months! This is the life. Yeah if you wanna be soft Dibs on this guy's tower when adventurers string him up in 2 weeks
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Apr 26, 2018 18:36
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quote:Archaeologists in northern Peru say they have found a burial site, known as Las Llamas, that contains the remains of 140 children. They were aged between five and 14 when the Chimú empire sacrificed them during a ceremony about 550 years ago as floods ravaged the Peruvian coastline.
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Apr 28, 2018 19:20
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http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/nationworld/science/ct-pompeii-volcano-skeleton-20180529-story.html quote:New find shows man crushed trying to flee historic Pompeii eruption lots of good skeleton finds lately. suspicious
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May 29, 2018 18:19
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