|
Dear GiP, 2016 was a loving tough year for me. I picked up my first year of sobriety on the 23rd November this year, but this is another milestone for me in that it's the first calendar year I've gone completely sober start to finish. I opened the year on a Dutch fishing boat, absolutely busting my rear end in one of the toughest work environments I've faced. I wound up leaving that job because the next swing we had a new chief engineer who started hammering me pretty much from day one. I lasted three weeks of being told hourly how loving stupid I am before walking. That poo poo hosed me up. I didn't find another job for three months after that, and when I did it was on a superyacht. I went from working as a 3rd engineer to being the chief engineer, and it was a hell of a leap professionally. I did an excellent job on there. I say that with no ego. I joined the boat and inherited a loving mess, and in the four months I was employed there I got the boat to some semblance of a good ship. I wound up leaving over safety concerns - all of the main circuit breakers had failed testing, and I flat out refused to sail in such a dangerous condition. We were one short circuit away from a massive electrical fire, and the icing on the cake was that the fire detection system was not working properly either. I had told the boat owner that these problems needed to be fixed, and that I would not risk my qualification knowingly sailing on such a vessel. He didn't listen, so I resigned. I know that if I was still drinking, 1) I wouldn't have had those jobs in the first place, because I'd be drunk and alone, and 2) if I HAD had those jobs, I would not have resigned, I would have just tried to 'stick it out'. As most of GiP probably know, I went into AA late 2015 after badly failing a sobriety challenge thread - I lasted four days. KFFF seems to have stopped posting, but he made a post in that thread that I think was the first time someone ever actually said to me 'dude, you need loving help.' I couldn't laugh it off after reading that, and after one more drunk that convinced me I did need help, I went into AA. It was one of the best decisions I've ever made. I've had a massive case of sadbrains pretty much my whole life. I did a lot of hosed up poo poo - whether for attention, to be liked, to be wanted. As far back as I can remember, I've been that one guy that no one really wanted around. I compensated for that by being as nice as I could to people on the reasoning that at least if I did good things for people, they'd let me hang around. That mindset got me badly used and abused by people who wanted what I had to give. I think the worst example was the girlfriend who brought the guy she was loving behind my back into my parents' home. I think in large part it was the cycle of being used over and over that convinced me the bottle was the only thing I could rely on. Life was never going to get better for me - that was the best I deserved. Having spent a whole year with a clear head, I've found how utterly untrue that is and was, and it was my own hosed head that was allowing me to live such a horrible existence. Earlier this year, one of my friends asked me to be his groomsman for his wedding next year. I was seriously touched. I went to my sister's a few weeks ago, and her son ran up to me after I sat down, shoved a book in my hand and jumped in my lap so I could read to him. I've been on a bunch of dates with a girl I met recently, and it's actually going really well and we will be spending new year's eve together. I just got home from a week staying with my parents and brother (they own land next to each other) where we went fishing with my uncle, then stayed with another good friend where we put a smoke on and made some kickin rad ribs and beef rump. I've sent out samples of my bbq sauce to a couple of people in GiP who have spoken pretty highly of it, and to another friend whose dad has been in the BBQ game in the states for most of his life and gave it two thumbs up. I'm finding people actually want me around and not just because of what I can do for them. I've found that I'm actually really loving good at things when I put my mind to that instead of drinking myself into oblivion. I've made amends (per the AA program) to a lot of people that I hosed over during my drinking days. 2016 has been a year of growth and change for me in a lot of ways and I'm actually genuinely excited about what 2017 will bring. Inshallah
|
#
?
Dec 31, 2016 11:04
|
|
|
|
| # ? Apr 29, 2024 18:11 |
|
|
This thread is heartwarming as gently caress. Good for you, kiwi. 
|
|
#
?
Dec 31, 2016 11:20
|
|
|
This is really good, and should probably do one myself.
|
|
#
?
Dec 31, 2016 11:54
|
|
|
Whip Slagcheek posted:This thread is heartwarming as gently caress. Good for you, kiwi.
|
|
#
?
Dec 31, 2016 15:33
|
|
|
Well don't be shy folks, share away. This will stay stickied for a few weeks.
|
|
#
?
Dec 31, 2016 16:09
|
|
|
It's been nice seeing your personal growth over the year.
|
|
#
?
Dec 31, 2016 18:30
|
|
|
I stopped drinking. I don't smoke weed very much anymore (I was going through an ounce a week to deal with my depression and now I smoke maybe once a month). I solely produced an EP for a local guy that has sold ~75 copies through various digital outlets. It's not exactly platinum but it's one of my biggest accomplishments in my lifetime. Although listening to it now, I think it sounds like poo poo simply because I've made leaps and bounds of progress with music production. I had the best semester of my life in the fall. And when I say "of my life" I am including all the way back to high school, which I graduated from ten years ago. I made it a year without a single bill being late. I am 100% out of debt. My credit score went up 160 points. My financial situation is better now than I can ever remember it being (I even had money to buy decent Christmas gifts this year!). I'm not in a mansion but I have almost everything I need with some spending money to boot. I almost have enough for a car and should be able to afford a nice one in another month or two. I could get one now, but I live in a small town and it isn't necessary so I'm saving for something a little nicer. Oh, and Monty. He's the best part of every year and every day. He turned 2 in August. I am finally at a comfortable spot and for the first time in as long as I can remember, it is going to be somewhat difficult to make next year better than this year was for me. Thanks for reading my end-of-the-year-jerk-off session.
|
|
|
#
?
Dec 31, 2016 18:33
|
|
|
2016 sucked, but by far not as much as it sucked for other people, so I don't feel like I'm in any position to complain. Lost my 4.0 GPA to group work, but it seems like I'll be able to retain a Summa Cum Laude with a 3.98, so I'm looking forward to graduating with at least a reasonably good-looking piece of paper and making the best out of 2017 so I have no reason to complain in 12 months. fwiw, I'm really impressed with how a whole bunch of folks in here have carried their disappointments or made pretty big strides towards their goals. Maybe I'll join you next year
|
|
#
?
Dec 31, 2016 18:36
|
|
|
2016 can SMDFTB.
|
|
#
?
Dec 31, 2016 19:46
|
|
|
2016 can eat an especially nasty dick for taking my sister. Still sober, three years is a week away.
|
|
#
?
Dec 31, 2016 20:27
|
|
|
2016 started with walking in on my ex-wife and her boss. 2016 ended with 28K in debt. Been sober for two months next week. 2017 goals: Work on getting out of debt, while saving for a townhouse, and staying sober. gently caress you 2016.
|
|
#
?
Dec 31, 2016 21:02
|
|
|
Zeris posted:Well don't be shy folks, share away. So Zeris is n4I?
|
|
#
?
Dec 31, 2016 21:34
|
|
|
Got a 17k pay raise for doing the same job and doing even less work. 2016 was p good  gently caress the cubs, though.
|
|
#
?
Dec 31, 2016 21:35
|
|
|
Two Finger posted:So Zeris is n4I? 
|
|
#
?
Dec 31, 2016 21:39
|
|
|
In 2016 I: -Got out of the military. -Moved back in with my parents. -Started going to college. -Got a job. That's about it. Plans for 2017 include meet more people, more school, get back out in general. Maybe try and get an actual date for once.
|
|
#
?
Dec 31, 2016 22:16
|
|
|
Emote confirmed.
|
|
#
?
Dec 31, 2016 22:55
|
|
|
It was a crap year
Woof Blitzer fucked around with this message at 03:14 on Jan 4, 2017 |
|
#
?
Dec 31, 2016 23:26
|
|
|
Had to put down my dog and the girlfriend's cat got hit by a car, but also bought a house and got engaged so it ended a pretty good year. Hope 2017 doesn't end in divorce and foreclosure!
|
|
#
?
Jan 1, 2017 00:39
|
|
|
Untagged posted:Emote confirmed. Laugh at my jokes or that's a probate
|
|
#
?
Jan 1, 2017 01:13
|
|
|
2016 was a bunch of loving highs and low's, more low's than high's. 2017 will probably start off disastrous for me, but getting the lovely parts out of the way early can only allow me to work towards having a net profit of happy at the end of '17. Good on you Two Finger, it's heart warming as gently caress to see good people pull a 180 on a lovely situation and not just give up. <3
|
|
#
?
Jan 1, 2017 03:08
|
|
|
TBeats posted:I stopped drinking. I don't smoke weed very much anymore (I was going through an ounce a week to deal with my depression and now I smoke maybe once a month). Please do that goddamn thing I tell everyone to do and your score will go higher. Also you and I are super loving similar at times.
|
|
#
?
Jan 1, 2017 03:11
|
|
Soulex posted:Please do that goddamn thing I tell everyone to do and your score will go higher. The thing about challenging everything on my credit report? If that was you then I got a few questions for you. 1) what are the negative consequences, if any? 2) where specifically do you dispute everything? My bank that I may get a car loan from uses equifax, just FYI. If this works I might apply for a car loan. The credit union here does a little over 2% financing for people with great credit (720+, I'm at 690 at the moment, but it's not solely based on score -- I have two years or so before things start falling off) and I wouldn't have a problem with a ~$10k loan with that type of rate. boop the snoot fucked around with this message at 03:17 on Jan 1, 2017 |
|
|
#
?
Jan 1, 2017 03:15
|
|
|
This time last year, I was three months away from graduating college with nothing but an internship and no job prospects. I'm ending the year not only employed but soon to be starting a job that pays 20K more. I've gotten better at not being a tightly wound ball of stress, and am starting to feel like yea that military transition is over and done with now that my civilian life is on the move.
|
|
#
?
Jan 1, 2017 03:49
|
|
Glad things are going well for you Bolly Hopps. And this:holocaust bloopers posted:yea that military transition is over and done with now that my civilian life is on the move. is some true poo poo and probably why life is going so great for me now. I still have some issues to work out (I need to get a better handle on myself when I get a certain level of angry) but goddamn was 2016 good for me and my mental health.
|
|
|
#
?
Jan 1, 2017 03:52
|
|
|
TBeats posted:Glad things are going well for you Bolly Hopps. And this:   
|
|
#
?
Jan 1, 2017 04:02
|
|
|
My professional career has hit the loving gas and I'm being showered with praise and money from my company, which is cool. My apartment is still a goddamn mess because I haven't had the energy to clean it and remove the mountains of poo poo that is left from my ex, who has decided to start messaging me on various platforms trying to apologize. I've completely moved on, as the 20+ days of reflection has made me incredibly aware of how much I was taken advantage of, and it's infuriating to a degree. Never-loving-again. When literally every family member and colleague is like 'yo dump her' perhaps there's a reason.
|
|
#
?
Jan 1, 2017 04:05
|
|
|
2017: the year vasudus gets a cat
|
|
#
?
Jan 1, 2017 04:07
|
|
|
Two Fingers: From an outsiders perspective, you have done good deeds this year. Good for you. I hope to emulate your progress in 2017. 2016 was one step forward, two steps back. I can do better. I know I'm not going to wake up tomorrow and a magical lightbulb will go off, but there are things that I have to do, and I hope I can do them.
|
|
#
?
Jan 1, 2017 04:11
|
|
|
For real happy for you dudes.
|
|
#
?
Jan 1, 2017 04:12
|
|
|
Dogge* E: gently caress In 2016 I started school via government teat for the first time since enlisting, wiped clean 1500 in credit card debt, then used deployment cash to pay off 3500 in student loans. My lady will probably spend New Years getting shitfaced, and then laid, while I'm here in the mp waiting to roll before the sun's even up. Hopefully, 2017 involves me paying off the other 7k in school I owe, using the other 7 months I still have here to get freakin ripped as all hell in the house of pain. I also intend to keep expanding my YouTube portfolio so I can resume my studies as a classical guitarist when I return. I bought a copy of Rosetta Stone for 100bux off of amazon for Black Friday; finishing all 5 levels of French is something I'm confident I'll do here. Lord knows I got the time. It's agonizingly frustrating having all of my goals be long term goals, but thankfully this is a cushy mob location wise, and the dividends will be enormous. Gonna save every penny and come back home ready to get my life back together. its curtains for Kevin fucked around with this message at 04:34 on Jan 1, 2017 |
|
#
?
Jan 1, 2017 04:23
|
|
|
I started in a toxic relationship that I knew better than to be in, for a lot of reasons, and am ending it with the most beautiful woman on the planet, objectively speaking, who is good to me and also a fellow writer / dork. I think she's the one, but it's too soon to say for sure. I got published in the New York Times. I went from a new guy in NYC still figuring it out, to standing properly on my feet and knowing what my next moves are. I guess I'm sad I didn't take my motorcycle out of storage at all this year. I started cooking again and became a cool dinner party throwing guy in my grad program. I am your idiot king.
|
|
#
?
Jan 1, 2017 04:44
|
|
|
I had an amazing Disney vacation, started a career and got married 
|
|
#
?
Jan 1, 2017 04:54
|
|
|
Zeris posted:I started in a toxic relationship that I knew better than to be in, for a lot of reasons, and am ending it with the most beautiful woman on the planet, objectively speaking, who is good to me and also a fellow writer / dork. I think she's the one, but it's too soon to say for sure. we need a cooking thread mr ik
|
|
#
?
Jan 1, 2017 05:14
|
|
|
TBeats posted:The thing about challenging everything on my credit report? 1) no. I have had one company reply back and it basically said "um, no dude you owe us money" but it is passed 7 years and that company is sharky as gently caress so gently caress them. Never paid them, just ignored them. Fell off my credit score a while back. 2) either of the 3 should work but use Equifax because ymmv thanks to that info. USAA has a great program for car buying. I ended up getting my car at a great price (3k under market. 14k for a 2013 Mitsubishi Outlander Sport with 15k miles.) and Ingot money back. Their home buying program is hit or miss. I'd just shop around. After having my score drop down to 670 it's back at 780 the month after my house payment cleared and absolved my debt. Also debt free is amazing but you need revolving debt and a car is ok but strive for about 20% your total amount of credit. A personal loan is a good idea and USAA should have a credit score type program to help. However you are just fine. That score is good though.
|
|
#
?
Jan 1, 2017 05:18
|
|
Soulex posted:1) no. I have had one company reply back and it basically said "um, no dude you owe us money" but it is passed 7 years and that company is sharky as gently caress so gently caress them. Never paid them, just ignored them. Fell off my credit score a while back. I don't owe anyone money except for my credit cards. I don't consider that "debt" in the sense of "I am 100% out of debt" because I use it responsibly and it isn't a burden to me like having to spend the next year paying it off. It gets paid off monthly in full or very close to it. I have two capital one cards and I use my one that has the best cash back rewards for purchases and I use my other one for automatic monthly charges (Netflix, Apple Music, etc). They report my stuff to the credit bureaus around the 9th of every month so I make sure to have my balance below 20% of my total limit as soon as I get paid on the 1st, and I make sure I don't go over that 20% until a few days after the 9th just to be safe. USAA declined a loan for me because I have unpredictable income, or something of the sort since my GI Bill will be done next spring (when I graduate -- I'll still have some benefits left but I'm not sure if I'll take another semester just because, it really depends on where my life is at at that point. The credit union here that I plan on applying for the loan for will work with me on a more personal level than USAA will. With my current credit, I was planning on getting a 12 month loan on $4-5k, with $2000 sitting in an emergency account in case something happens and for some reason I can't pay my bill out of my monthly income. I'm trying to find a balance between putting that $2000 towards the loan, keeping some of it in the bank as an emergency car payment fund, and keeping some set aside for repairs. I will be driving MAYBE 6000 miles a year with one road trip to and from Florida per year, so it needs to be reliable, but it doesn't need to be pristine. My school is a six mile round trip, the grocery store is a mile away, and anything worth doing in this town is somewhere in the middle of those two distances. I have no idea why I'm saying all this, but this is the situation and any advice would rule!
|
|
|
#
?
Jan 1, 2017 05:36
|
|
|
MurderBot posted:Good on you Two Finger, it's heart warming as gently caress to see good people pull a 180 on a lovely situation and not just give up. <3 Thanks everyone. It's the first time in my life I actually believe the bolded part about myself. After spending most of my adult life feeling like I'm a total fuckup, I'm beginning to see that I'm actually not that bad of a person. Peace and love to you all brothers inshallah
|
|
#
?
Jan 1, 2017 05:43
|
|
|
Separated from my wife in March. Started divorce proceedings last month. On the bright side, I took up beekeeping and woodworking as hobbies and met a great girl. Bring it on 2017!
|
|
#
?
Jan 1, 2017 05:59
|
|
|
.
The Rat fucked around with this message at 14:30 on Jan 11, 2017 |
|
#
?
Jan 1, 2017 06:04
|
|
|
Your attitude for 2017 should be: I would rather be let down by my expectations of a good year than have my expectations of a bad year be met.
|
|
|
#
?
Jan 1, 2017 06:10
|
|
|
|
| # ? Apr 29, 2024 18:11 |
|
|
TBeats posted:I don't owe anyone money except for my credit cards. I don't consider that "debt" in the sense of "I am 100% out of debt" because I use it responsibly and it isn't a burden to me like having to spend the next year paying it off. It gets paid off monthly in full or very close to it. I have two capital one cards and I use my one that has the best cash back rewards for purchases and I use my other one for automatic monthly charges (Netflix, Apple Music, etc). They report my stuff to the credit bureaus around the 9th of every month so I make sure to have my balance below 20% of my total limit as soon as I get paid on the 1st, and I make sure I don't go over that 20% until a few days after the 9th just to be safe. So immediately I can tell you that keeping money just sitting in a savings account is losing money. Go to Vanguard.com look at their index500 fund and invest the amount required to start. They have other ones that have a lower entry requirement but you wanna look at high risk, short term. Why? Look at their history. Almost (going off memory and I think 2007 is the only year they went down) every year they made around 8% increase. Compare that with the paltry 2% IF you are lucky that your bank will give you for a savings account. 6% is a lot. 180 dollars off of 3k. You are barely making inflation with a savings account. You can withdrawal your money at any time with no penalty because you are investing and not doing a retirement plan. Money takes 1-3 days to go back to your account. I have had good success with 2 days at the highest. Be patient. Money goes up and down. I have moaned when I have had lower than my investment and am happy as gently caress I have essentially made 400 bucks in a few months that I have been investing again. Touch it, you will lose money. The market will always recover. You will have bigger problems if it doesn't. And I get it. Finances are tricky and you have a plan and that is important. You also know a lot already. Don't forget to get your tax breaks for school poo poo if you need anything or aren't in vocational rehabilitation. I don't have a lot of training in finances but my buddy is a personal finance accountant and has a masters so, I trust his advice. Remember that banks are businesses. Period. They are there to make money. USAA denied me a personal loan to pay closing costs and instead forced me to max my credit cards, cash advance, smashing my credit score and pissing me off. Not buyin a house with them again.
|
|
#
?
Jan 1, 2017 06:47
|
|