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xsf421 posted:Doing God's work.
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cravius posted:Looks like I'm going to ranger school, gently caress me I guess loving lol. If you thought the weenie was bad before, you're in for an unpleasant surprise!
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Jan 17, 2017 03:36
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TBeats posted:Clarksville sucks but if you need meth it's a good spot. tbh this describes a disturbingly large percent of towns around army bases.
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Jan 17, 2017 17:27
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Paradise Lost posted:GI bill for officers requires 3 years service in addition to whatever your initial was. Only if you were ROTC or West Point. If you went the Basic->OCS pipeline, you can get that sweet GI Bill after a single tour 
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Jan 18, 2017 20:00
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Flikken posted:I liked my M9. And Psydude it sounds like someone knocked the rear sight of yours with a hammer. He'd be lucky if that's all that was wrong with it. My company brought all our M9s to the range one day, only to find out that only 2 of them were actually functional. We got to rotate through qualifying with those two until everyone was done that needed it, except the sights weren't zeroed so it was more guesswork than anything else 
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Jan 20, 2017 14:50
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Dogge is good. Pet as often as possible to forget that you are/were in the army.
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Jan 20, 2017 16:03
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The VA already managed to fumblefuck my buddy's grave entry, who was buried today. I hope his tombstone is accurate, because going through their online grave locator says he was in the Persian Gulf war  PS reach out to a buddy if you feel like repainting the walls with your sadbrains 
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Jan 24, 2017 02:56
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Mike-o posted:Ban this sick filth.
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Jan 26, 2017 04:24
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My old unit left a fully armed and running Stryker completely unattended at NTC  If you haven't been following 1/25's escapades at NTC for the last few weeks, you've missed out on some quality army.txt experiences. It's been all over USAWTF Moments on facebook, and is well-worth looking at to remind yourself of what a DD-214 shields you from.
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Jan 30, 2017 00:03
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They aren't hazing people to the point of suicide anymore, they're just leaving them out in the desert and letting nature run its course. Progress!
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Jan 30, 2017 00:55
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Soulex posted:I went to NTC with these guys. Can confirm they are a bunch of retards who sent two specialists to man the entirety of their Public Affairs program. No officers either. When we deployed in 2011, the PAO we had got entirely too excited about the goats chained up to the front gate and reminded me of a cross between Family Guy's old perv and the "have you seen my stapler?" guy from office space. He also ran a Facebook page for a stray cat on our fob. Weird dude, would not trust around children ever.
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Jan 30, 2017 15:01
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Soulex posted:Name? I don't remember. He got sent home for one reason or another, though.
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Jan 31, 2017 05:53
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Whipped Buttcheeks posted:Come, Mustang. Join us at the XO table and wait for the sweet release of death. Your commander heard your request, and deemed death too good for you; they want to watch you suffer.
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Feb 5, 2017 18:22
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Christ, there were only 66 in your class? We had 160 to start with and ~145 finished. I commissioned 9 Jan 09, it's just jarring to hear OCS has downsized that far. How many companies are there now?
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Feb 7, 2017 07:08
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Not only that, the signal that tells your muscles to relax everywhere gets shut down! It's a similar mechanism to tetanus toxin, but instead of taking ~2-3 weeks to fully kick in and kill you it only takes a few minutes. Everything clenches, nothing relaxes, brain starts firing randomly, etc. Acetylcholinesterase inhibitors are a fun way to go, alright 
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Feb 11, 2017 07:00
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spacetoaster posted:I slapped the phone out of her hand. You did the right thing.
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Feb 11, 2017 23:56
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TBeats posted:My unit made any time away from my unit fun. Same
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Feb 12, 2017 00:50
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White Chocolate posted:Read this as.. poop in every bathroom you can get access to. A Phantom Shitter rises.
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Feb 15, 2017 17:27
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Justin Tyme posted:Picture the two consultants from Office Space except the tell you that they raised the ARSFTWAF by 4% and that will be $20,000, please When I describe being a staff officer, I tell people to imagine everyone in Office Space wearing camo and being legally obligated to do what your boss says, and your boss has the worst aspects of both Milton and Lumberg rolled into one foul package.
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Feb 21, 2017 05:21
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Hillary Clintons Thong posted:My school has a veterans lounge and sometimes I think I should go over there and hang out then about .001 milliseconds later I talk myself out of hanging out with whatever weirdos are in there and just go home instead That's about where I am with mine. I show my face enough to where people remember me and don't question when I drop in for free food, though.
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Feb 23, 2017 15:50
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Pesticide20 posted:Goddamn can't even spell "went" right. I want to call bullshit but at the same time I feel like it's real. The fact that we have to wonder speaks for itself
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Mar 2, 2017 15:43
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mlmp08 posted:Had a surge recruit fresh out of AIT show up standing crooked as gently caress. Insane kinks in his spine. Basically said he didn't think the Army would take him but one of his kids needed some stupid expensive treatment and he wanted tricare. He played and won! 
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Mar 3, 2017 01:54
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EVA BRAUN BLOWJOBS posted:I'm laughing pretty hard at the last page of posts. You guys actually give enough of a poo poo to argue over this.
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Mar 8, 2017 20:17
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Vahakyla posted:On other news, remember when I whined in this thread about wanting to go to Italy as my AB option and you guys told me I'm poo poo out of luck but I might as well email my branch manager? Good luck, I guess?
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Mar 8, 2017 20:38
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Obstacle2 posted:This was my brigade https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Suicide_of_Danny_Chen I was on the same flight as him to Afghanistan (I was actually the chalk commander ). One of the soldiers testifying in that court martial was one of mine at the Warrior Recovery Center on KAF, who certain shitheads tried to retaliate against by yanking that soldier from a medevac flight to Landstuhl and putting him back on a flight to his fob sans weapon, armor, helmet, or even camo clothes. I dropped a line to IG and the rage I got from them afterwards indicated that IG put its boot in someone's rear end and wore them like a shoe for a short while.
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Mar 12, 2017 03:37
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Mar 20, 2017 14:22
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Counterpoint: cadences are loving stupid, no matter their content.
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Mar 21, 2017 18:26
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80s James Hetfield posted:Dang, I'm starting to miss the Army. Read the rest of this thread and the idiots thread, and you'll be cured of this bothersome condition.
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Mar 23, 2017 18:54
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Mustang posted:The more I learn, the less I understand Go on
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Mar 30, 2017 03:36
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mlmp08 posted:Do GOs still tell LTs that being a PL is the best part of the entire Army? This was the start of my downward spiral in the army. Everyone at OCS blew smoke up our collective asses about how that was the best job in the Army, then I get sent to Wainwright to be in charge of the rejects getting chaptered or discharged for whatever stupid reason. Calls about them getting in trouble, updates on their court martials (one for child porn!), arrested because they were beating their wives, stealing credit cards or driving drunk, going AWOL to Canada in uniform with all their gear, or deciding to pop hot on a drug screen were the norm. I was still expected to produce training plans and provide soldiers for details, despite most of them being on essentially dead-man profiles or gigantic shitbags. gently caress doing that ever again, gently caress the army, smdftb if you're still in.
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Mar 30, 2017 04:10
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Mike-o posted:Oh poo poo, you dudes remember armyman25 and his fuckin cape? fuckin lmbo He was so proud of it too
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Apr 3, 2017 02:01
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Smoke Crack status: still a bitch?
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Apr 6, 2017 21:54
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spacetoaster posted:You can hear the choppers coming? They came to get the wounded But I jumped on instead
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Apr 7, 2017 14:15
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Rumor was at Wainwright that even people at Ft Polk made fun of us for being at a remote base without any redeeming factors.
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Apr 10, 2017 01:56
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I just overheard someone declare "I love Fort Bragg!" and "I love Fayetteville!" after giving the "I would've joined, but..." speech to a marine
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Apr 15, 2017 01:11
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Check the USArmyWTF page, looks like someone smeared poo poo all over a barracks at Fort Campbell. https://tinyurl.com/ll92vml
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Apr 23, 2017 20:55
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Just needs SMDFTB somewhere on it, and then its perfection.
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Apr 23, 2017 21:43
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Apr 23, 2017 21:56
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TBeats posted:Reenlist No greater shame hath a man, than after being tricked into enlisting once he does it again (knowing exactly what to expect)
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Apr 24, 2017 13:48
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MurderBot posted:
o7
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Apr 24, 2017 18:30
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