2019-2023 Marine Thread: Maybe the 2017 Army thread with a new coat of paint

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Internet VFW > 2019-2023 Marine Thread: Maybe the 2017 Army thread with a new coat of paint

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Icon Of Sin: Dec 26, 2008

Mike-o posted:

oh no what is that man doing to his butt

showing off the damage the green weenie inflicts on us all

# ¿ Apr 24, 2017 19:26

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# ¿ May 10, 2024 12:47

Icon Of Sin: Dec 26, 2008

Vahakyla posted:

No, I meant like in the finnish army, when I had zero guidons and a platoon of riflemen, a hot FO, and a funny RTO.

I'm going through all of my old photos. I miss those idiots.

I loving hate these american guidons and loving student "leadership".

Let the hatred flow through you, my young apprentice. 😈

# ¿ Apr 25, 2017 01:42

Icon Of Sin: Dec 26, 2008

milk milk lemonade posted:

Is Italy a good post? I don't recall ever meeting anyone who had been there

The post itself could be garbage, but you're already in central Europe at that point so you've got a good chance of getting out and seeing some cool stuff as long as the 173rd isn't being utterly stupid and incompet-oh. :smith:

# ¿ Apr 25, 2017 19:48

Icon Of Sin: Dec 26, 2008

DoktorLoken posted:

Think tubgirl.jpg

another classic oldie

# ¿ Apr 26, 2017 15:53

Icon Of Sin: Dec 26, 2008

Syrian Lannister posted:

True fecal lasagna

nms

https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=1353420

# ¿ Apr 27, 2017 00:14

Icon Of Sin: Dec 26, 2008

Hillary Clintons Thong posted:

look at this motivated guy

# ¿ Apr 30, 2017 20:09

Icon Of Sin: Dec 26, 2008

psydude posted:

Running actually doesn't bother my bulged discs (in fact I usually feel better after). Now, deadlifts and squats? Absolutely. I basically can't do anything fun at the gym anymore and am relegated to doing lunges and body squats with kettle bells if I want a leg workout.

I'm the same way. I run, bike, and swim, because having access to all of those in a campus gym loving rocks and I can't do squats very often without my back starting to sing arias of torment. Deadlifts seemed dumb to start with, and even just trying to do one (for some dumbass officer PT thing the S3 wanted to run) was enough to convince me to never do another.

# ¿ May 1, 2017 17:46

Icon Of Sin: Dec 26, 2008

spacetoaster posted:

We'd never be able to find them.

The e4 mafia will ensure that their benefactors remain unharmed.

# ¿ May 4, 2017 17:39

Icon Of Sin: Dec 26, 2008

tastefully arranged labia posted:

With the accident rate I'd say astronauts are pretty good at stopping

Challenger and Columbia are what happens when you don't wear a reflective belt. If only they had known! :smith:

# ¿ May 6, 2017 18:40

Icon Of Sin: Dec 26, 2008

Zeris posted:

Mod challenge: give him your SA account and dictate drafts for him to post. Make him do an AMA.

YESSS

# ¿ May 9, 2017 05:24

Icon Of Sin: Dec 26, 2008

J.A.B.C. posted:

Sorry for the absence, been busy getting up to speed in my new job.

So, in case anyone didn't know, Kandahar is kinda depressing. Since the drawdown a lot of the businesses have up and left, their trailers and shacks taken down, so walking anywhere will most likely lead to you crossing big swathes of concrete pads where stores and poo poo used to be. The Boardwalk, if anyone remembers, only has about four or five businesses left. It's like a weird, still-lived-in version of one of those 'reclaimed by nature' docs.

Also, there's a picture of a Terminator-Bear near the airfield that I'll take a snapshot of when I get the chance.

All in all, it's...well, it's not bad. I've been to a lot worse.

Can you still taste the air when you breathe?

# ¿ May 9, 2017 19:22

Icon Of Sin: Dec 26, 2008

Zeris posted:

Grad school is also a good way to transition from army to civilian mindset.

Grad school rocks. I work on the side as a divemaster helping teach classes and doing guided tours around local shipwrecks, hopefully got a summer job as a teacher for the local aquarium, and this fall I'll be done with all my GIS classes and ready to bail out of here.

Nobody here cares that I'm a former LT, but that's likely because I live not too far from Fort Bragg and Camp Lejeune :v:

# ¿ May 11, 2017 05:27

Icon Of Sin: Dec 26, 2008

Vahakyla posted:

I was dropped from a 250ft tower today at FT Benning and the landing was loving terrible. I hit my head, did somersaults, got dragged and had risers wrap around my neck.

It was loving awesome.

Airborne school is awesome and I am just gushing with motivation for monday's jump.

I had at least 2 concussions there, enjoy your brainpan getting rattled!

# ¿ May 19, 2017 00:23

Icon Of Sin: Dec 26, 2008

It read like a CSM talking, just less mentions about grass height or uniform standards.

# ¿ May 27, 2017 11:59

Icon Of Sin: Dec 26, 2008

There's the normal army fuckery, there's the stuff you'd expect to see on USAWTF, then every now and again someone tries to go for broke and become the example of everything wrong with the army itself; the type of people for which the phrase "All loving Nobles Must loving Hang" was created.

Pregnant soldiers forced to train in field, results in stillborns

:catstare:

# ¿ May 31, 2017 17:33

Icon Of Sin: Dec 26, 2008

not caring here posted:

And here I thought the army couldn't get more gay... but it's gotten less gay than before? Honestly shocked.

It went overboard with the lust for cock and took a break for a bit. It'll be back to jackhammering assholes shortly though.

# ¿ Jun 1, 2017 21:15

Icon Of Sin: Dec 26, 2008

Saddest part of all? It was entirely believable. Also,

quote:

We should look to the American Soldier as our nation's vanguard of Integrity.

# ¿ Jun 2, 2017 16:50

Icon Of Sin: Dec 26, 2008

Soulex posted:

Nope. Public Affairs OIC/NCOIC for 1-25 SBCT when they only brought 2 specialists for the entire brigade that were PAO. Including nobles.

I got an impact ARCOM out of it and had like 2-3 OC's basically saving my rear end when I told LTC's and COL "no, we can't do that because..." and had my seat on the TOC removed because some people just can't handle low ranks telling them no.

Edit: I should mention that I was there originally to supplement their mission. Help with video coverage etc. They essentially hosed off and had me and my buddy not been there, it would have just been those two specialists.

Never change, arctic wolves :911:

# ¿ Jun 5, 2017 20:13

Icon Of Sin: Dec 26, 2008

Soulex posted:

I told them specifically that 1) Printing off posters of a pack of wolves taking down a horse with the captions "Mustangs should take caution, Arctic Wolves seen in area". I get it, cool and funny but no. And 2) no my guys won't do it (one of the specialists caved and did it) and 3) the MAJ OC I'm reporting to also said this was a bad idea.

Then we had CPT MindBullets. He got that nickname as we went out to a Press Conference (the COs only) and he was talking with this dude or whatever and everyone is pulling guard while the OC's chat with the CO about why he needs to be more engaged with PAO type stuff (he flat out called me a liar just for being public affairs in a BUB or whatever they are called) except me because I don't have a weapon. So I got to sit in the Humvee. Anyways ol' CPT mindbullets was actually talking to OPFOR journalist and the next morning it showed the CPT with his Class A's on (obviously taken from Facebook or something) superimposed on people dying in the streets with his full name and the caption "My words are more powerful than bullets." Obviously this was taken out of context but it was hilarious either way.

We had a legit incident where someone did a fire mission and had impact 50m from friendliest because the LT was some k off.

And I didn't get to shower and barely slept/ate/just had a kid/just came back from TDY.

gently caress that whole experience.

I spent years with that unit. It was never better, and it was almost impressive how many different ways they found to be pants-on-head stupid across most levels of leadership. Reminder that 3-21 was Danny Chen's unit when they hazed him to the point of suicide. Probably explains my animosity towards the army in general fairly well, imo.

# ¿ Jun 6, 2017 00:53

Icon Of Sin: Dec 26, 2008

We're going to have a storm of downward spirals here sooner or later.

# ¿ Jun 7, 2017 13:36

Icon Of Sin: Dec 26, 2008

I couldn't find the article about the riggers intentionally cutting the chutes' rigging

# ¿ Jun 7, 2017 19:51

Icon Of Sin: Dec 26, 2008

bulletsponge13 posted:

Wait, what?

I may have misremembered, or it may have happened more than once. A marine once did exactly that, 'because he was angry' :catstare:

http://articles.latimes.com/2003/aug/07/nation/na-parachute7

I thought there was one about an army e6 doing something similar and getting caught/court-martialed over it, but I can't find it.

# ¿ Jun 7, 2017 20:52

Icon Of Sin: Dec 26, 2008

Vahakyla posted:

I am on my fourth day off, chatting with italian women and eating strawberry ice cream in downtown Vicenza in a perfect weather. I got tomorrow off still, and the next four weeks are 4-day workweeks.

Army is pretty fuggen awesome right now.

Quoting this so I can watch you eat these words later.

# ¿ Jun 18, 2017 16:38

Icon Of Sin: Dec 26, 2008

A solid "gently caress you if you're still in" would've done just as well

# ¿ Jun 27, 2017 03:55

Icon Of Sin: Dec 26, 2008

Some places don't even care if you smoke weed, or about anything you do in your off time! :stare:

# ¿ Jun 30, 2017 03:59

Icon Of Sin: Dec 26, 2008

He keeps his dad from turning into a liquid Nazi ghost after reading some really old tablets. Someone also got sawed in half for refusing to take a knee.

# ¿ Jul 23, 2017 16:03

Icon Of Sin: Dec 26, 2008

lmao owned

# ¿ Jul 26, 2017 07:01

Icon Of Sin: Dec 26, 2008

Vahakyla posted:

.
keep a "recovery day" after a holiday.

Every now and again the spirit that made these people build the Roman Empire shines through

# ¿ Jul 28, 2017 15:29

Icon Of Sin: Dec 26, 2008

Mustang posted:

So how are NCO's fresh off the trail as PSGs? I'm hoping my new one doesn't have a stick up his rear end about all sorts of dumb drill sergeant poo poo because that's going to get annoying, fast

This should be good :getin:

# ¿ Jul 30, 2017 06:25

Icon Of Sin: Dec 26, 2008

thetechnoloser posted:

USARAK.

lol@USARAK

At least Fairbanks is slightly less of a cesspool now that one of their 2 strip clubs has burned down (Showboats).

# ¿ Aug 7, 2017 16:53

Icon Of Sin: Dec 26, 2008

Pesticide20 posted:

Lmao gently caress you if you're still in. I took a final this morning and I'm loving baked right now watching Animaniacs

That show is doubly hilarious now, for all the jokes that went over my head as a kid.

Had our first day of class today and start my internship next week doing sonar mapping of historical shipwrecks then building a GIS map using that data. Hopefully using this internship as a springboard to work for the local Army Corps of Engineers branch as a GIS analyst

# ¿ Aug 17, 2017 00:13

Icon Of Sin: Dec 26, 2008

Nostalgia4Butts posted:

hey gently caress the army forever

# ¿ Aug 27, 2017 05:19

Icon Of Sin: Dec 26, 2008

Soulex posted:

Tell that to 1/25 SBCT whose learning moment was to do a weapons check in the direction of a town that you are about to enter to help evacuate residents.

Smart money says this was A Co 1-5, if it was the 2011-2012 deployment.

# ¿ Sep 5, 2017 12:46

Icon Of Sin: Dec 26, 2008

I never got one, or even put in for one as far as I knew. The only award I wanted at that point was my DD-214.

# ¿ Sep 8, 2017 03:24

Icon Of Sin: Dec 26, 2008

Ashmole posted:

Have any of you officerbros transferred to a functional area?

My 5-year anniversary of transferring to functional area: civilian is tomorrow

# ¿ Sep 15, 2017 18:31

Icon Of Sin: Dec 26, 2008

Naked Bear posted:

An SBCT can hold its own if it plays smart.

lol

# ¿ Sep 24, 2017 01:55

Icon Of Sin: Dec 26, 2008

Soulex posted:

The commander of the whole 1/25 SBCT was like Trump with media. He told me and everyone else in other BUBs/CUBs/and whatever that "Public Affairs shouldn't be trusted, the media lies to you." As I'm trying to explain that media is in the area and trying to conduct interviews. He loving hated PA, and that's from a lack of understanding.

Was this recently? I could see one of the former commanders of that unit saying the exact same thing, circa 2011-12. Would've also explained the loving weirdo that was in that role, I wouldn't have trusted that guy either.

# ¿ Sep 25, 2017 20:46

Icon Of Sin: Dec 26, 2008

its curtains for Kevin posted:

The sun has been up for 10 minutes. The blinking of dishes in the DFAC mixes well with the incomprehensible chatter of troops. Pogs angrily shake their fist, yelling to the sky, complaining about how those damned infantry man just don't appreciate how vital all of their bureaucracy is to the corps of jerks and man. The Airman laughs at the infantryman because for every magazine the infantryman fires another 300,000 USD in McAllister plastic and steel are dropped on that same kilometer into that thin fiberglass sand all of us took home in our lungs as a souvenir.

A man who barely has the right to recite in guttural tones the word of devout zealots, centuries old, is rewarded for his faith by losing his son and the camels his family has raised for 3 generations to drifters who lost control of their Toyota Pajero while doing donuts on the same MSR that US solders slowly trundled down to Baghdad on to paint a mural in blood and sinew, consumed by revenge and the lust for death. A man lazily observes a carcass consumed by the pond less than 10 meters from his canvas home.

A porta shitter is defiled with the humble likeness of winged, dancing mad cocks, a devout shrine to the milf godfigure, a nurturing and fertile diety adored. An officer is promoted for something his staff sergeant accomplished and celebrates with alcohol and his favorite supply specialist under his desk that afternoon. The Marine contemplates the meaning of life while he conducts morning pt. A foolish child, tricked by the devil himself, Sergeant First Class Jones, is given 6+2 years of assurance that he is 'definitely' going Airborne Ranger. Somewhere, a Sergeant and his driver are lazily eyeballing a HET cab, blackened by the soot of the exhaust that came unbolted, pondering just how much of the windshield wiper fluid box was inhaled by the operators as it melted halfway through the mission.

We break bread over the cold rivets of our nukes, cursing the swamp of incompetence we were swallowed by and live, live as men can when given the chance, lives unfettered by the meaningless concerns of others. We grow old, weary of even nostalgia. There is pride, but it is a bitter pride and a callow life with all our brothers present would have sufficed. A Command Sergeant Major naps bloated on the savanna, digesting his meal.

An overlooked tire from a trailer bounces free from its earthly ties and rolls unbound, a third world tumbleweed that crests a dune and coasts serenely into a nearby wire fence. A random truck already sagging with rice bags sags further still as it drives off with its new prize within minutes. A convoy spends 10 hours looking for it anyway before combat lossing it. The Brigade Commander causes an entire complex to lose access to the net after he plugs in his iPhone to his personal SIPR netbook.

A warped, broken man dies on the steps of the institution created for his health and welfare.
Pumpkin spice coffees are advertised in the local Green Bean for military spouses. Soon, it will be winter and, with it, the promise of death, a year closer.

Hail Satan, long may he reign over this gay earth
Siri, suck my dick from the back you gently caress man

# ¿ Sep 26, 2017 04:08

Icon Of Sin: Dec 26, 2008

Pesticide20 posted:

The army treats families like the GOP treats service members

...

# ¿ Sep 26, 2017 19:06

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# ¿ May 10, 2024 12:47

Icon Of Sin: Dec 26, 2008

Soulex posted:

gently caress I hated the army

# ¿ Sep 30, 2017 20:58

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Internet VFW > 2019-2023 Marine Thread: Maybe the 2017 Army thread with a new coat of paint

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