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There should be a "best of" collection of Shim posts. I can't even remember the last username of the main account. OMG PTSD PBUH? Gas Kills Kikes? Cisnazi Weedhitler (my fav)?
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Dec 2, 2017 07:08
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His post about Japan getting nuked was also classic.
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Dec 2, 2017 07:16
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Sax Offender posted:There should be a "best of" collection of Shim posts. I can't even remember the last username of the main account. OMG PTSD PBUH? Gas Kills Kikes? Cisnazi Weedhitler (my fav)? That’s the one, I still have the account just never use it anymore. That account is 16 goddamn years old now.
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Dec 2, 2017 07:19
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Yeah that still holds up
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Dec 2, 2017 16:45
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Arc Light posted:Does your friend's brother enjoy in depth discussions about Dungeons and Dragons, anime, or My Little Pony? Because they crop up in the SCIF with distressing regularity. As much poo poo as the line side give us medics, I can say for certain that I've never been in or overheard those kinds of discussions. I did know a few intel dudes from my time in a base honor guard and they always did strike me as...off. Edit: Also, "When he's not deep dicking some borderline inbred dipshit Airman who's a civilian 5 and intel 12..." is an amazing line.
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Dec 2, 2017 17:48
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Flikken posted:His post about Japan getting nuked was also classic. Especially since it was in the middle of the spaceflight megathread, not in GIP.
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Dec 2, 2017 17:49
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Godholio posted:Especially since it was in the middle of the spaceflight megathread, not in GIP. Do you have a link to it?
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Dec 2, 2017 21:10
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Sadly no.
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Dec 3, 2017 00:36
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BadOptics posted:As much poo poo as the line side give us medics, I can say for certain that I've never been in or overheard those kinds of discussions. I did know a few intel dudes from my time in a base honor guard and they always did strike me as...off. In my experience it’s the enlisted guys who are the nerdy ones. The officers are more of the tech bro/fundamentalist Christian bent.
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Dec 3, 2017 05:04
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Are any of the nobles here familiar with the current officer commissioning process? One of my buddies is looking to commission, but as a filthy enlisted man I don't have firsthand knowledge of what that entails. From what I've gathered, the process requires a fair bit of insider knowledge re: timing & paperwork, in order to make the various admin deadlines. He's already out of college, so the academy and ROTC paths are out. Broadly, what's the required sequence of events from start to finish? And how long does it take? I know it was a year or more as of 2014, but that was before the Air Force cut too many dudes and started trying to build back up.
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Dec 3, 2017 14:25
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Have him sign up here and read the relevant sections. There's a lot of hand-wringing, but a fuckton of good info. A lot of applicants stick around for a while after commissioning to answer questions, so it's a good source. "How long does it take" is based entirely on how many boards they're doing annually (probably only one or two) and how much OTS has plussed-up at this point. I don't think it's grown much, based on what I've seen for career field pipeline training. The ABM pipeline is still pushing through fewer than HALF the number of students as when I went through, and they're several hundred ABMs below sustainment. A year, maybe 2 years ago, OTS was only two student squadrons (in 2004 there were five), and there are also fewer classes. Here is the class schedule for FY17/18 for Total Force Officer Training. Over the past 3 years they've changed a lot, in content and appearance. BOT went from 12 weeks to 13 to 9 to 8, and they changed the name. Looks like the MTIs might be gone, too. Yeesh. Godholio fucked around with this message at 19:04 on Dec 3, 2017 |
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Dec 3, 2017 18:54
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My wife started the OTS process in late summer 2016 and still doesn't know if she's been selected. She's meeting the board releasing in a few weeks, and if she's selected her recruiter said it could be a full year before she even leaves for training. Basically, expect that the process will take a very long time with a lot of unknowns and constant dates pushing back. The board that releases in a few weeks was supposed to release the week before Thanksgiving and her recruiter said expect nothing until January.
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Dec 4, 2017 05:31
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I got selected by the first board I went for, was on the road 3 months after I was notified, and it was still an 11 month process. I don't see how it gets any faster than that.
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Dec 4, 2017 07:04
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Coincidentally, that's also how long it took Godholio to finish his PT test.
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Dec 4, 2017 12:18
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Walk test 4 lyfe I can't imagine how easy the old bike test must've been, the walk was cake.
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Dec 4, 2017 16:27
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Godholio posted:Walk test 4 lyfe I was in below average shape and on the fat boy program, and would smoke a cigarette and drink a soda before the test to artificially increase my heart rate so it wouldn’t skyrocket. Passed with flying colors every time.
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Dec 4, 2017 17:52
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Howard Phillips posted:I used to work with Navy intel people on an operational level staff and both of those also apply to Navy intel officers. I think Air Intel is mostly wannabe pilots. Lots of nerding out in front of computer screens and postulating over tactical poo poo they don't really understand. Not intel but I've worked with them as part of my flying squadrons and at the CAOC. What does your friend want to know? At the flying squadron level they're basically just helpers, almost like librarians. You give them a bunch of RFI's, they'll try to figure out what you mean since they don't know fuckall about flying or what the threat numbers mean in relation to flying, and will end up printing off the wrong stuff more often than not. They'll also give a weekly brief every now and then. Deployed they take your post mission reports and file them off to some place, and give pre-mission step briefs on known threat updates. Nothing cosmic or overly cool. At the CAOC there's 2 types, the power tripping ISRC (ISARC? dunno, it's nerd poo poo anyways) who just assigns UAV orbits but sits with the CAOC director so they must be cool, and then the intel dudes behind the locked door. Again, the ISRC just assigns UAV orbits based off unit requests, which MAY sound cool to someone who doesn't know what that really means... but it really isn't since it's really just using an excel spreadsheet to prioritize requests. The dudes behind the locked door just take intel as it comes in and file it away into squirrel hole of nothingness, then bitch when you ask them to pull info out of said squirrel hole because YOU actually have to do something important. It's not like the movies, your friend isn't going to be a spy or kicking in doors and poo poo. He MIGHT fly on a plane or go outside the wire, but it'll always be as a bit of an afterthought and never an active fight. On the plane he'll just file the reports as poo poo happens, and outside the wire he'll be looking at the aftermath of a fight. It's also insanely hard to get a job in intel out of OTS as well, his best bet is to go rated. Rated also has more job satisfaction IMO. JacksLibido fucked around with this message at 20:41 on Dec 4, 2017 |
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Dec 4, 2017 20:38
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JacksLibido posted:Not intel but I've worked with them as part of my flying squadrons and at the CAOC. What does your friend want to know? Oh my, a pilot trying to tell intel what they do and how they don't fit in. Must be Tuesday.
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Dec 6, 2017 03:02
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Toona the Cat posted:I was in below average shape and on the fat boy program, and would smoke a cigarette and drink a soda before the test to artificially increase my heart rate so it wouldn’t skyrocket. Passed with flying colors every time. I was literally recovering from surgery and still pissing blood, and ended up the tick mark below maxing it. I had looked up how it gets scored, but I was legit shocked afterwards.
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Dec 6, 2017 07:23
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the yellow dart posted:Oh my, a pilot trying to tell intel what they do and how they don't fit in. And intel acting smug instead of answering a question. Point proven.
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Dec 6, 2017 08:17
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Ya'll are both dickheads and if you don't stop loving doing cossack dances at your desks and smashing all my fiber every week I'm throttling your youtube down to 14.4 modem speeds.
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Dec 6, 2017 10:16
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nullscan posted:Ya'll are both dickheads and if you don't stop loving doing cossack dances at your desks and smashing all my fiber every week I'm throttling your youtube down to 14.4 modem speeds. Just let their ancient SIPR box fail and refuse to fix it.
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Dec 6, 2017 15:35
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nullscan posted:Ya'll are both dickheads and if you don't stop loving doing cossack dances at your desks and smashing all my fiber every week I'm throttling your youtube down to 14.4 modem speeds. Like I’d even notice.
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Dec 6, 2017 17:06
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nullscan posted:Ya'll are both dickheads and if you don't stop loving doing cossack dances at your desks and smashing all my fiber every week I'm throttling your youtube down to 14.4 modem speeds. Cool story, while you’re here I need my password reset and the printer needs new drivers kthanx.
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Dec 7, 2017 00:59
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nullscan posted:Ya'll are both dickheads and if you don't stop loving doing cossack dances at your desks and smashing all my fiber every week I'm throttling your youtube down to 14.4 modem speeds. tbf, if we didn't just run fiber along the floor, we probably wouldn't need to replace it as much. And if we didn't need media converters for lovely VOIPs, that would take care of like 2/3 the tickets for any given network shop.
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Dec 7, 2017 01:10
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JacksLibido posted:Cool story, while you’re here I need my password reset and the printer needs new drivers kthanx. Sorry, we don't control the print server, I'll have to escalate that ticket to the NOSC.
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Dec 7, 2017 07:33
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On Terminal until the end of the month and got a CJO from a legacy airline today. Life is good. And I'm beyond excited, timing couldn't be better. Woooooo Too bad AF - you're like an ex I want to grab and shake and go WHAT WERE YOU THINKIN?!
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Dec 8, 2017 07:29
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Welcome to the bearded side.
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Dec 8, 2017 08:09
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xaarman posted:On Terminal until the end of the month and got a CJO from a legacy airline today. Life is good. A complimentary jerk-off? Jesus Christ, pilots really are the pampered sky gods.
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Dec 8, 2017 08:43
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dscruffy1 posted:A complimentary jerk-off? Jesus Christ, pilots really are the pampered sky gods. I have literally no idea what you're angry about but I like the term "pampered sky gods"
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Dec 8, 2017 09:17
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xaarman posted:On Terminal until the end of the month and got a CJO from a legacy airline today. Life is good. Well done on your job that pays better and has far fewer asspains involved. Please give us monthly updates in this thread so I can live vicariously through your posts.
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Dec 8, 2017 11:08
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xaarman posted:I have literally no idea what you're angry about but I like the term "pampered sky gods" Wasn't really angry so much as I tried to go with CJO meaning some variation of handjob.
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Dec 8, 2017 11:14
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I miss being in the Air Force. Don't miss the bureaucracy
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Dec 8, 2017 14:32
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I miss flying and deploying (sort of). I keep in touch with the people I want to. The rest of it can smdftb.
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Dec 8, 2017 17:16
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CommieGIR posted:I miss being in the Air Force. Don't miss the bureaucracy
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Dec 8, 2017 17:37
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Godholio posted:I miss flying and deploying (sort of). I keep in touch with the people I want to. The rest of it can smdftb. The on the ground team team I’ve had this deployment have been amazing and the mission we performed was significant and something I will always be able to look back at with pride. The fact the Air Force forgot it had forward deployed a 9 person team and didn’t bother to get replacements for them has made my decision to not re-enlist a lot easier. Exactly on my 90 day till out mark also.
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Dec 8, 2017 20:37
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Prop Wash posted:Well done on your job that pays better and has far fewer asspains involved. Please give us monthly updates in this thread so I can live vicariously through your posts. Allow me to take you on a journey. So, being in the Air Force is like staying with your girlfriend from high school. She was cute, you lost your virginity to each other, had graduated together, and she even helped you with your homework. You were high school sweethearts and thought that you would be together forever. There was another girl who had a huge crush on you. She was homely and had drug habit, but you were nice to her. You were just friends. Obviously you pick your GF instead. Obviously. So, you get married, and she moves in with you. Her dad gets you a good job. It's awesome because you bypass being a broke kid and start making decent money right away. You even go to work and everyone gushes about how cute of a couple you and your wife are. You brag to your friends about how your wife cooks and cleans, how you get blowjobs anytime you want. Her dad (your boss) is rich, and has big plans for you. But no good thing lasts forever. Eventually that cute, sweet high school love of yours starts feeling like what you offer isn't enough. Over the years, she gets fatter and fatter. The sex is less frequent. She doesn't cook anymore. The place is always a mess. She bitches about all the things you should do for her. You need to jump through all these hoops to please this now-300 lb dependa landwhale. All your friends you bragged to are hitting their strides in their career, living in the big city, making crazy money doing your same job, banging hot girls, and begging you to come out and work with them. Even your job has turned to poo poo where you do meaningless busywork. You're trapped in terrible, loveless marriage. Can't get divorced or you will lose your job. All of a sudden that ugly girl you knew texts you one night. Turns out she kicked her drug habit, hit the gym, got some surgery, and is now an smoking hot Instagram model. She invites you to catch up at a party, where you go party, drink, do a little coke, and gently caress her and her hot friend. They take you and gangbang you, but your wife calls because the water heater broke and flooded the basement. You leave the model sex party and go home to your lovely house, have to listen to your fat bitch of a wife complain while you try to fix it, and then have to go to bed to get ready to work at your lovely job, for lovely pay and you think "why the gently caress am I putting up with this anymore?" So you divorce your wife, quit your job, and move out of your house. You leave all your poo poo behind and move into a badass mansion with a harem where the girls somehow magically get hotter every year. Your friends get you a job where you make 5x what you made before doing half the work, and get a massive raise every year. And every 5 years you get a promotion into a BIGGER office with MORE pay and even LESS work than before. And you look back and think why the gently caress did you wait so long? That is what it's like to be a military pilot who gets out and goes to the airlines.
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Dec 8, 2017 20:56
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That needs to be submitted to JQP.
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Dec 9, 2017 03:23
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Oh my god.
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Dec 9, 2017 04:06
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 That was beautiful and poetic.
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Dec 9, 2017 04:10
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