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Cythereal posted:Probably doesn't help that Kylo is a whiny little bitch who completely fails to be intimidating or edgy or compelling except in a "Jesus Christ THAT'S what the dark side has to work with these days?!" sense. He's so entitled and whiny a character (which is great for a villain, no irony) I know fan groups who suspect he's an incel
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Jan 2, 2017 04:19
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I wrote some things in the last thread about the films that got released outside USA before 2017 which I watched:Tars Tarkas posted:
I've never watched the movies so all i know is "vampires vs werewolves, kate beckinsale in a skintight suit". The story is apparently really convoluted, with her having a werewolf-vampire hybrid daughter that she had to give away in one of the movies and then having a weird romantic interest in Charles Dance's character's dumbass son. in the new movie, he turns out to be a super powered vampire queen's kid, which means he inherits the vampire cartel or something? They visit the Arctic where a Frozen-inspired viking vampire clan lives, Beckinsale get more ridiculous superpowers and superstrengths, and they end the show with a very dumb firefight. it's v bad! Tars Tarkas posted:
Well, they deliberately cast Matt Damon, the chilean guy from GoT and William Defoe because white people in movies put butts on chinese cinema seats. No worries about whitewashing because the show is White People are loving Dumb Assholes and Need the Chinese Paragons To Tell Them How Trust and Honour are Great Eastern Virtues. they need Damon to save the day in the end but really the Chinese were holding their own so well he was superficial at best. Also, it's written by Max Brooks, who wrote the WWZ book and movie. Which may explains why all the monsters act like zombies! I (had to) watch The Great Wall and I'm quite surprised it isn't an extended multi million advertisement for a mobile moba game. The Chinese army at the wall were dressed in ridiculous shades of colours from a crazy cerulean blue on all the women spear warriors to candy apple red for archers. The generals and Matt Damon s characters are super powered heroes with specific weapon types (although "non-phoning in acting" is not one of the powers). the monsters they are fighting axt like xenomorphs, have a brood queen that requires minion monsters to feed and have a tactical squad around her with neck fins that deflect bombs. The show isn't good, it is a spectacle whenever there are fights (and a very badly paced funeral scene) but every single time they need to do character development its a bore. weird things I remembered - every single Chinese armour looks like a max level costume you have to pay USD 129.99 for in a video game. They are also immaculately clean - the blue armoured women's war strategy involves bungee jumping off the walls and spearing the monsters - the moral of the movie is "corporate greed is bad". A plot point is Damon wants to steal their gunpowder for profit. The monsters is an allegory for corporate greed, which is bad, because they only live to eat. They attack the Chinese capital where the emperor stays in a lavish palace where everything is gold. Nobody thinks this moral is very ironic. - the emperor is apparently played by a 15 year old k pop band idol - a big scene involves the army flying in makeshift hot air balloons to the Chinese capital. Fortunately for us you get to see many balloons fall off the sky in flames - a climatic sequence has them strapping a monster by the butt with bombs - the movie was critically panned on Chinese websites which upset the government and they had to remove the reviews. quote:As the film's largest investor, the Wanda Group (owner of Legendary Pictures) has good relationships with the Chinese government and the Communist Party of China. In December 2016, users of film review website Douban rated The Great Wall 5.4 out of 10, which is considered very low. On Maoyan, another movie review aggregator, the 'professional score' is only 4.9 out of 10.[29][30] On December 28, the Communist Party's official media outlet People's Daily published an article on its website severely criticizing Douban and Maoyan for doing harm to the Chinese movie industry with their bad reviews.[31] On the same day, Maoyan took down its 'professional score' for The Great Wall.[29]
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Jan 2, 2017 15:13
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Mierenneuker posted:Oh yeah, I said something about Underworld: Blood Wars in my terrible end of year summary. don't forget the aryan vampires turn up as a deus ex machina to save the day at the american vampire fortress, mere days after most of their clan get massacred by the machine gun-toting werewolves
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Jan 2, 2017 15:50
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21 Muns posted:http://www.boxofficemojo.com/yearly/chart/?view2=worldwide&yr=2016&p=.htm How is Mermaid grossing that much money
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Jan 9, 2017 02:31
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Snowglobe of Doom posted:Only thanks to the foreign box office gross it earned in markets where it opened in 2016, it's robbing Underworld: Blood Wars of it's rightful place as 2017 #1. yeah i'm genuinely surprised by how well Great Wall is doing. It's still packing screens here and I've read chinese-speaking friends praise the movie for doing something "as good as LOTR."
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Jan 9, 2017 06:17
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TetsuoTW posted:Wait Zhang Yimou finally remembered how to make a good movie? don't be ridiculous
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Jan 9, 2017 06:34
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Will it have a crossover with wwe
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Jan 9, 2017 12:34
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got any sevens posted:No it's just chinese people trying to brag about something from chiner. ??????
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Jan 9, 2017 16:18
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did i hear it wrong but is the girl's name Lucy and the guy literally gets powers from the titular character of the Luc Besson movie
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Jan 13, 2017 02:36
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Improbable Lobster posted:No, it is not a sequel to Lucy that's what you think!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Jan 13, 2017 02:46
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The book is good tho
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Jan 14, 2017 01:56
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did ice cube make a cameo
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Jan 19, 2017 08:33
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I'm watching the new xx x movie and wow, this is such an aged dude Bro show. The target audience seems to be people nursing either five sexually transmitted diseases or paying support for illegitimate twins after a few full moon parties.
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Jan 20, 2017 14:38
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One of the supporting cast's super powers is causing spontaneous rave parties loving lol
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Jan 20, 2017 14:41
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Lobok posted:Are you not also in the audience...? Won free tickets from filling up petrol. But good catch! Well, the show has really, really bad action choreographing. Almost all the supporting actors are wasted (especially Tony jaa😕) . The grenade sequence which looked kinda cool was just as long as depicted in the trailer, the mac guffin is literally the Internet from the IT Crowd, and Vin Diesel gets gang raped by a group of girl hackers because??? . Everything Xander cage says and thinks is cool is really cringe worthy and somehow nobody calls him on his poo poo. Also, the show makes fun of the Jason Bourne dictionary fight with one of the most boring action directing. Why??? My fav sequence is Vin and Donnie Yen motorcycle skiing across the sea because its the only thing that fits the "dumb bit fun" criteria i wanted
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Jan 20, 2017 15:53
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Snowglobe of Doom posted:So they're repeating the same formula that made the original film a smash hit? WELCOME TO THE XANDER ZONE! /does a sweet kick flip A sweet motorcycle kick flip!
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Jan 20, 2017 16:17
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Jan 23, 2017 04:03
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We are invited to the Xander Zone but everyone just wants to eat popcorn. Too Radical!
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Jan 23, 2017 05:23
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i watched the latest RESIDENT EVIL 6: FINAL CHAPTER. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xoXqGvMBko0 my memories of the previous non-final chapters are spotty because i only recall these 1 - Alice, portrayed by milla jovovich, wears a hot red dress and there's a laser corridor, some dumb mercenaries get murdered and it's actually somehow consistent with the game plot. she escapes an Umbrella Corp underground lab called the hive controlled by an AI in the form of a little girl hologram "Red Queen", then emerge at raccoon city 2 - raccoon city zombie shenanigans, i only remember it because the jill valentine actress is strangely on-point https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kLqa_f22wz8 but otherwise, the girl modeled by the Umbrella scientists for the Red Queen is part of the escape crew? Alice gets powers to control machines 3 - resident evil becomes brown instead of blue. the world is p dead by zombies. ali larter of heroes is a character. also, Alice has a ton of clones and 4 will be clones v zombies and i'm like ? ? ? ? ? wtf is even going on anymore with this stupid series 4 - the promised clones v zombies sequel hook ends with a nice wet fart, welp! i think they stopped bothering to use the zombie monsters from the games now? oh, there's still wesker, boring blonde shades-wearing villain of the game, to be boring. ali larter and alice fall off buildings shooting guns. 5 - by now it's obvious the zombies have become background threats and the whole thing is Alice v Umbrella Corp full time. starts off strong with a weird but kinda cool suburban vr set that Alice is trapped in. features Every Single Named Character from the game series. Ends with a fight in the white house. it's p bats! RESIDENT EVIL SIX THE FINAL CHAPTER is... uh, it's not great, it's competent and better than Underworld: Blood Wars, it does some really batty stuff and it could be More Fun but it's hindered by plot nonsense. it also retcons stuff and thankfully, it got rid of A poo poo LOAD of the dumbass plots from the previous chapters, which means (a) remember all those Every SIngle Named Character from the game series fighting in the white house? don't worry they all get killed offscreen before the opening credits even start, lol. also the opening credits still use early 2000s CG for the font graphics. (b) Alice no longer has crazy rear end superpowers, thank loving god (c) the dumbass plot of Alice's clone army is given a single scene throwaway this does not mean the clone plot is removed, it's just more batshit dumb however, because Mr Jovovich wrote and directed this movie, Alice is still OP af and even much more crazier powerful than Donnie Yen's character in Rogue One. The retcons make zero loving sense but who cares, it's a resident evil movie and you are here for the sweet human vs zombie action, so well there isn't much of those, i think there are some but milla is so powerful she kills off at least 2-5 boss monsters in the opening act alone. most of the action has this frantic, shaky cut every split second (especially the fist fights) and it gets p tiring after the 3rd or 4th, although fortunately the BIG BOSS fight scene is a lot better (Alice actually gets hurt really bad and the damage has impact, not like it makes a difference the immediate next scene). It's also in the laser room of 1! but not as cool. also, the zombies are actually used like bio weapons in that Umbrella Corp has tanks with live human baits, leading zombies to decimate survivor outposts. Which is a p cool concept i guess! Umbrella's mission is revealed in this movie and it's super loving dumb af they wanted to cause a biblical-scale apocalypse to wipe out humanity so umbrella corp top mgmt can be awakened in time to repopulate the world in their image, which is why zombies this movie is v long, covering five acts - opening act in destroyed washington DC - umbrella tanks revealed - survivor fort defence - The Hive (return to the setting of movie one) - neopaganistic mother maiden crone symbology, final fight in the Hive, conclusion (my date fell asleep in act 3, arguably the worst) do i recommend this film? i dunno, i thought it was fine but i wouldn't really say it's memorable. it seemed to lack the necessary punch or delicious dumb stuff like the suburban vr stuff in 5 or even the laser room fight of 1. also alice doesn't die because "we decided to tell you you'd die, because we wanted to know how cool and good a person you are and whether you'd sacrifice yourself for humanity, this plan has no flaws at all, and also we're just really cruel loving assholes" so i doubt this is as FINAL as it is unless milla jovovich is sick of doing these movies tbf the production of this movie got one person killed and jovovich's stuntwoman into a 2 week coma then her left arm amputated, so i don't really blame her or Mr Jovovich if they want to stop making this series, just sayin' The Saddest Rhino fucked around with this message at 10:20 on Jan 23, 2017 |
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Jan 23, 2017 10:06
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Beachcomber posted:I liked 5 because the plot only seemed to exist to connect a series of i think they spend a bit too long, perhaps? i rechecked the length of the movie - it's only 106 minutes but it feels longer because of the 5-act structure. the final Hive setpiece is probably the best although the tanks are not bad. i thought the 3rd act's fortress (a half-destroyed skyscraper) was barely visible due to how dark and blue that part of the film was, but there was a kickass flaming torrents thrown at the zombiesscene. also if you were asking "what about the supporting cast" all save one get killed so don't bother!
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Jan 23, 2017 11:40
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set pieces. Is this basically like that, or do they actually spend a long time being boring like things matter?
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I forgot to add but the craziest thing to happen in this movie is one single person dies and gets turned into a zombie
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Jan 23, 2017 11:50
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Killer Croc had fantastic design?? He took off his jacket and looked like a featherweight boxer with monster makeup
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Jan 25, 2017 02:30
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i misread that and for a moment thought Danny from The Room was going to do the autistic child routine again at the age of 40-50
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Jan 26, 2017 02:57
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Skwirl posted:Nah, Bay is probably Hollywood liberal, but also realizes fascism pays better. His most humanist film (The Island) was also his only commercial failure, and then he re-used clips from it in Transformers 3, his most right wing film, there's gotta be at least some self-awareness going on there. isn't his benghazi film the most right wing?
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Jan 26, 2017 08:49
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What is the subtext of the resident evil and under world movies tho
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Jan 26, 2017 11:00
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Suicide Squad is groundbreaking for featuring a superhero team which has to fix a disaster they created themselves (Age of Ultron arguably also does this, although at least there are the non mutant siblings to gently caress things up to complicate the disaster) , just like the Trump administration so far.
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Feb 1, 2017 03:28
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I hope they reboot the popular and billion dollar making film series Resident Evil
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Feb 7, 2017 02:25
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need a tie in with the street fighter cinematic universe incl such great classics as Street Fighter and Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li
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Feb 7, 2017 02:32
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Think Different feat Gandhi
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Feb 8, 2017 06:35
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Tars Tarkas posted:A clip with a CGi creature that looked very unfinished despite the film having been out for months in some markets. All I can find now is this still image i can't tell from the image, but i do recall the cgi for the creature is Not Good
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Feb 10, 2017 10:44
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Wouldn't he have made vaults of money from suicide squad?
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Feb 11, 2017 03:20
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I'm still watching bad movies  This time it's Yet Another Jackie Chan movie, Kung Fu Yoga, which was also a Chinese/Lunar New Year film.Quick verdict: The first act is really bad but it get increasingly bonkers that it becomes entertaining, it's strictly a movie the actors go on holiday disguised as a kid's show but drat the story is p typical, A LONG TIME AGO there were warring Indian kingdoms that led to a treasure being lost. the descendants of the two emperors are now bitter rivals and they engage/force Jackie Chan, a famed Chinese archaeologist, and his team of bad actors to go open some tomb to get the treasure. for some reason one of the team members is a non-bad actor who also steals poo poo and has some hint of a redemption arc but loving lol this is chan's movie, gently caress that guy The first act is p loving awful that when they introduce everyone and the plot they add a bunch of forced infatuations and i'm like is this even 2017 ffs. They go to Alaska and the baddies appear etc, and then straight after that the movie actually becomes fun? like they changed directors? who knows but here's what happens in this loving dumb film: - kung fu scenes: 99% - yoga scenes: 0.1% - cg animals: 0.9% - cg animals addendum: in the pre-credits scene of "5k yrs ago", they couldn't be bothered to hire an actress to act beside the real-life actors at a green screen, so they used a bad cg woman instead - the villain has won many awards in Bollywood/Tollywood for "best villain" - places Chan took a grand vacation: China/HK, Alaska, Dubai, India - in Alaska they are warned that packs of wolves are approaching their camp. So Chan and his co-actor go out into the snow and do their kung fu... and fight each other. The wolves are impressed by this display of alpha build and leave - no homosexual/phobic jokes (in a chan movie???????) - best action blocking scene: to separate a teenage girl from the a group (to allow the fight to happen), she takes a selfie at the stairs for no reason - dubai involves a car chase scene straight out of post-F5 Fast & Furious, including a loving cg lion in the same SUV as chan, a SHITLOAD of expensive cars get destroyed, and the villain 's SUV spins in the air into a lake, but while spinning the villain opens the driver seat door, falls into the streets, then walks into a cafe like a boss. seriously that guy is great - "i'm a princess but i pretended to be an archaeology to deceive u... uh.... because i can." - a beautiful bollywood actress cries and demands a chinese actor to wipe the snot dripping off her nose - the ending is possibly THE MOST INSANE WAY to resolve the fight between the two monarch descendants ever and i strongly urge you to watch the film instead of clicking the spoilers the treasure turned out to be a bunch of wooden scrolls because "the true treasure is knowledge lol", the villain gets mad and the princess is like "buuuuuuuuuuuut we need to show it to the world", and then SOMEHOW a bunch of hindu wisemen appear with a troupe of people and they're like "yaaaassss knowledge is great". THen everyone prayed to the golden buddha and is like "yaaaaaaas ikr" then they dance to a bollywood remix version of a jackie chan song THIS VIDEO IS A MASSIVE SPOILER AND ONLY CLICK IT IF YOU HAVE NO INTENTION TO WATCH THE FILM. the mass prayer for peace begins and after that, it's amazing in its own right and srsly if it weren't for this ending sequence i wouldn't have thought much of the film https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R0U-zZaH028 Final judgment: 4/10 wouldn't watch again but will inflict on ppl
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Feb 16, 2017 09:56
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Josh Lyman posted:So The Great Wall is basically Battle of Helm's Deep: The Movie, right? Except bad and with acrobatic women jumping off the wall
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Feb 16, 2017 14:11
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He's the guy cap a had to fight in the beginning of civil war and whose self destruction killed wakandans
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Feb 16, 2017 16:59
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I don't know how controversial this opinion is but b v s is my personal worst blockbuster movie of 2016, like how do you get three of the most iconic characters in American pop culture and make it so dull and agonising to watch
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Feb 20, 2017 02:22
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In the same way that lala land had great actors to elevate otherwise fairly paper thin characters, b v s had the four leads (being generous because I was not very impressed with the super man actor) doing their damned best to make the movie work but the movie just refused to let them breathe. The very few things I genuinely enjoyed about the show is the late night comedy clip that ends with the Martian
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Feb 20, 2017 02:27
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The threat in Suicide Squad being one created by their own abject incompetence (or rather, Amanda Waller's) is pretty dumb, and the fact she receives zero comeuppance other than "oh they extract some data off her brains" makes it worse especially with the random scene of her executing intelligence agents. I also don't recall the city getting destroyed and turned into Staple Horror Game Mooks ville was anything significant. Like it wasn't that important in the whole scheme of things despite it sounding like a genuine threat. In contrast in Avengers 2 the urgency in saving the floating Romanian city somehow felt real, despite it being some random place nobody outside marvel would care about
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Feb 20, 2017 03:12
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I had the good fortune of watching the extended cut of s s without knowing about the atrocities of he theatrical cut, the additional beats to some scenes do make it better (not good. Just better) and the joker scenes actually give him and Harley way more character and necessity to the plot. Still not a good movie .
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Feb 20, 2017 03:15
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Brother Entropy posted:what makes these things bad though? the movie knows that amanda waller is just as much of a monster as the enchantress but only one gets the backing of the u.s. government and therefore gets away scotfree it's interesting but the film handles it p terribly After handling the Enchantress, what happens? they get ten years off and go back to jail, one with an espresso machine (haha!) also boomerang gets nothing because he wants to drink beer Wouldn't it be much more compelling if the rest of the squad, decides to go rogue and try to kill Waller, and they completely loving failed because she gets the full backing of the US government. Like there would actually be more agency/motivation for the next movie rather than "we are naughty but somehow conscientious villains" And rick flagg, the least interesting member even after the rope guy who gets killed within 2 mins of screentime*, has the potential to have this whole "should i side with waller/USA or SS (who are right that the US doesn't respect us and would rather us die)?" conversation, is like... ehhhh okay back to being in love with enchantress, k. didn't the dispossessed enchantress also get away scott free? * seriously, him being "enchantress's fuckboi" has so much capacity to be interesting but instead he's just discount bin frank grillo
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Feb 20, 2017 04:49
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well poo poo, i kinda wished they made him get nothing because it would be (a) a better joke and (b) emblematic of how lovely Waller & the US gov is to these guysBrother Entropy posted:tbh i kinda start checking out of movie criticism that involves 'why didn't they do this wildly different plot instead' good for u bro
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Feb 20, 2017 04:56
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