Thermidor: Juicy Fruities - Tactical Guillotine and Thread Opening Simulator

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > Thermidor: Juicy Fruities - Tactical Guillotine and Thread Opening Simulator

Ms Adequate: Oct 30, 2011; Baby even when I'm dead and gone
You will always be my only one, my only one
When the night is calling
No matter who I become
You will always be my only one, my only one, my only one
When the night is calling

Sole.Sushi posted:

tl;dr
Everything about your sales pitch, from your Indegogo webpage (which is busy and screams "amateur art project") to your reactions and conduct on this forum not only make me unwilling to invest, but should I hear others talking about this project at a later date, this thread will be the first thing I'll recall about this game and your company. Make me and everyone else in this thread give one drat about this game of yours, and do it in a manner that isn't pretentious or simply posting a link to a crowdfunding page. Why should you do this? Because, apparently, it's your drat job.

uh I think you'll find it's our job to throw ourselves at the feet of HyperDongBox and loving well thank them for not only the future opportunity to play this game (and it's many successors), but for the honor to be permitted, by their infinite grace, to buy into the project.

# ¿ Jan 6, 2017 17:43

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# ¿ Apr 29, 2024 03:15

Ms Adequate: Oct 30, 2011; Baby even when I'm dead and gone
You will always be my only one, my only one
When the night is calling
No matter who I become
You will always be my only one, my only one, my only one
When the night is calling

Kelp Me! posted:

who the gently caress would intentionally take credit for making Agarest War

To be fair it would indicate an ability to make something unbelievably, ball-crushingly complicated, which is probably a plus in game design. Gotta keep a lot of plates spinning, you know?

# ¿ Jan 6, 2017 18:26

Ms Adequate: Oct 30, 2011; Baby even when I'm dead and gone
You will always be my only one, my only one
When the night is calling
No matter who I become
You will always be my only one, my only one, my only one
When the night is calling

Chadina posted:

Apparently they posted an update on the campaign including the juiciest part of their game, the theme song!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XgjS532bsJE

So this little shitbird did something so offensive that it gets at a minimum eight guys to come to the family's tavern after hours, bust the door down, then chase him through the streets of Paris. And the second he sees them he knows they're after him, so he knows what he did. I can understand why he'd run on impulse, but do you know what the guards would do if they lost him? They'd go back to the tavern and at best trash the place, but probably kill his dad, his mum, and his wee doggy too. And this is at the beginning of the French Revolution, so the power to restrain those sorts of men would absolutely not exist, or where it did, would not be exercised, because who can afford to piss off a guard captain and all his friends over some pissant tavern?

My other immediate thought was this one;

Justin Credible posted:

Okay so these Swiss Guards show up and the protagonist has clearly done something wrong, answers the door with a rifle which he drops when he sees who it is. He is wanted for some kind of crime and in running away from the consequences of his actions he also steals produce from a hardworking street vendor who is probably on a lower economic scale than the son of a family who own and run a successful tavern that has enough cashflow to afford to laugh about spilling and ruining several full meals' worth of food.

These are our heroes, people.

Though all that said, seeing the storyboard to the intro is the first sign of an existing game since the first Juicy Screenies dropped so I suppose it is something, however paltry that something may be.

# ¿ Jan 7, 2017 03:19

Ms Adequate: Oct 30, 2011; Baby even when I'm dead and gone
You will always be my only one, my only one
When the night is calling
No matter who I become
You will always be my only one, my only one, my only one
When the night is calling

Imagine eating so much poo poo you're the poor unqualified fucker who has to try and drum up interest for this game, though

# ¿ Jan 8, 2017 00:03

Ms Adequate: Oct 30, 2011; Baby even when I'm dead and gone
You will always be my only one, my only one
When the night is calling
No matter who I become
You will always be my only one, my only one, my only one
When the night is calling

Baron Corbyn posted:

It's not flexible funding so there's no way they're not getting that back if I understand how this works correctly.

Uh you seem not to understand that Thermidor - Tactical JRPG - The Revolution: The Beginning - Thermidor 1789 is going to be an earth-shattering, nay, revolutionary success.

# ¿ Jan 8, 2017 16:04

Ms Adequate: Oct 30, 2011; Baby even when I'm dead and gone
You will always be my only one, my only one
When the night is calling
No matter who I become
You will always be my only one, my only one, my only one
When the night is calling

nerdz posted:

let me pitch a better game idea in the same setting here:

A kagero deception style game where French soldiers of increasing rank will try to invade your tavern and you can thwart them with all sorts of guillotine themed traps

last boss is Louis himself

I'd loving back it.

# ¿ Jan 9, 2017 17:51

Ms Adequate: Oct 30, 2011; Baby even when I'm dead and gone
You will always be my only one, my only one
When the night is calling
No matter who I become
You will always be my only one, my only one, my only one
When the night is calling

hyperdevbox posted:

Man I was reading through this getting more and more worried and then I see, right by the end, my name. I'm going to treasure this right here. :allears:

# ¿ Jan 10, 2017 04:06

Ms Adequate: Oct 30, 2011; Baby even when I'm dead and gone
You will always be my only one, my only one
When the night is calling
No matter who I become
You will always be my only one, my only one, my only one
When the night is calling

hyperdevbox posted:

There is a reason it's called a "Private Message", so it is not to be shared publicly.
But you had to go and do that... with a screenshot and all!
The reason I sent you a link to one of my band's tracks is because you said it was lovely (I'm presuming before even listening to it), so I thought that maybe after you gave it a listen you might change your mind.
But now you've ruined all of that, so never mind.

lmao

# ¿ Jan 10, 2017 15:52

Ms Adequate: Oct 30, 2011; Baby even when I'm dead and gone
You will always be my only one, my only one
When the night is calling
No matter who I become
You will always be my only one, my only one, my only one
When the night is calling

hyperdevbox posted:

The scene in the opening video, where the police come to Leandre's house, has nothing to do with the kidnapping!
Leandre always gets in to trouble with the police...
And after he manages to escape from them, he meets Armandine for the first time. They go out and enjoy each other's company for most of the day, until she suddenly gets kidnapped by unknown men.
And that's when the game begins.

So let me get this straight.

1) They go to the tavern in the morning because of some unrelated matter. Something severe enough that eight Swiss Guardsmen are there.
2) Little Shitbag bails and they chase him through the streets of Paris.
3) Then he's seen with this noble chick who has gone missing.
4) Then he is Prime Suspect #1 and the Swiss Guards - who as noted are private mercs for the King and don't give a gently caress - go to the tavern again.

So from this we can tell that;
A) It doesn't make any drat sense that you could stall for Leonce (who literally eats poo poo, incidentally) at all because Leandre is the one they want. He is right there. There is nothing to stall towards. The guards grab him and take him to some dank prison where he is tortured for information then dies in the oubliette. If he tries to resist they just threaten to kill his family.
B) This little fucker is known to the authorities by sight. The fact that he's not already been loving murdered by them presumably means he actually already is nobility or something.
C) Even those being true, the Swiss Guards having to show up to the same loving place for the same loving little poo poo twice in one day kind of suggests their patience will be at an end and any resistance is hugely dangerous, as in, 'murder his dad and his dog, rape his mother in front of him, then make him eat his own eyes' dangerous.

I know you want your cute little Aladdin homage but quite aside from the fact that it makes this well-off kid* look like a prick for stealing an apple from a common street vendor, you're acting like one of the most brutal and important events in modern history was a merry jape where young ruffians could get away with anything and nobody got guillotined. No. The fuckers would be murdered on the spot for giving the SGs grief.

*As has been noted, well off enough that someone can drop a whole meal of food and the family just finds it funny, which is especially damning given that one of the contributing causes of the French Revolution was years of bad harvests leading to food shortages. His family aren't revolutionaries, they're the loving wealthy who are being revolted against! The lot of them would get guillotined! Then again with your grasp of history you probably believe it was all settled peacefully when Mme. Armandine gave a passionate speech about the natural order of nobility over commoners, implored the peasantry in the name of God to return to their homes, and so brought peace and absolute monarchy back to France.

(PS someone who is free of sin please quote this so MegaAssemblerCarton's Ronald can see it)

# ¿ Jan 11, 2017 16:22

Ms Adequate: Oct 30, 2011; Baby even when I'm dead and gone
You will always be my only one, my only one
When the night is calling
No matter who I become
You will always be my only one, my only one, my only one
When the night is calling

GunnerJ posted:

Ehhhhhhhh... middle class small business people like tavern keepers in Paris initially made up a lot of the National Guard who were the "action arm" of the Third Estate/National Assembly's defense, and the Third Estate deputies they supported were even better off in many cases.

Leandre is still a despicable poo poo.

Okay that's fair, I may have oversold that point a bit. Still.

# ¿ Jan 11, 2017 16:52

Ms Adequate: Oct 30, 2011; Baby even when I'm dead and gone
You will always be my only one, my only one
When the night is calling
No matter who I become
You will always be my only one, my only one, my only one
When the night is calling

Thursday Next posted:

This is actually really interesting, thank you. I know nothing at all about the French Revolution, so this kind of put things into perspective.

I want to stress that it is far, far outside my area of expertise, and I have only a perfunctory understanding of it.

e; though I also want to stress that my perfunctory understanding is orders of magnitude better than these chucklefucks possess.

# ¿ Jan 12, 2017 01:18

Ms Adequate: Oct 30, 2011; Baby even when I'm dead and gone
You will always be my only one, my only one
When the night is calling
No matter who I become
You will always be my only one, my only one, my only one
When the night is calling

weak wrists big dick posted:

Imagine four British Redcoats in the french revolution...

e:it's timg'd because as soon as i posted i heard one of you whining about it in my head about how your 600x800 monitor can't handle it, click for full effect

# ¿ Jan 12, 2017 02:34

Ms Adequate: Oct 30, 2011; Baby even when I'm dead and gone
You will always be my only one, my only one
When the night is calling
No matter who I become
You will always be my only one, my only one, my only one
When the night is calling

Saxophone posted:

Suddenly I want a tavern brawl tactics game. BouncerDoor - Tactical JRPG where I and a team of other bouncers are tactically navigating tables, chairs, using the bar for cover, as we beat up and evict rowdy patrons.

A game about being a bouncer already exists, but sadly it's not a tactical JRPG.

# ¿ Jan 12, 2017 04:18

Ms Adequate: Oct 30, 2011; Baby even when I'm dead and gone
You will always be my only one, my only one
When the night is calling
No matter who I become
You will always be my only one, my only one, my only one
When the night is calling

Baron Corbyn posted:

Really?

Yes, that's why even with the very poorly executed IGG (Something Ronthouer now concedes) they were able to drum up a sizable portion of the requested funds!

# ¿ Jan 12, 2017 19:25

Ms Adequate: Oct 30, 2011; Baby even when I'm dead and gone
You will always be my only one, my only one
When the night is calling
No matter who I become
You will always be my only one, my only one, my only one
When the night is calling

OneTwentySix posted:

Jesus Christ, Real Snowglobe is even more boring than I thought it would be. Who the hell thinks that kind of thing is worth making? Is there some sort of snowglobe fetish out there?

Okay but does it actually function? It's a thing which exists?

# ¿ Jan 13, 2017 02:14

Ms Adequate: Oct 30, 2011; Baby even when I'm dead and gone
You will always be my only one, my only one
When the night is calling
No matter who I become
You will always be my only one, my only one, my only one
When the night is calling

sethsez posted:

I played the ExZeus games when they came out. They were neat for the time but don't demonstrate the ability to handle anything resembling the kind of scope that you're trying to fund here. And while Indy 500 is a pretty cool little 90s Sega racing homage, it also doesn't really scream "potential tactical RPG developer" to anyone.

Given that I've played three of the five games you listed, and enjoyed a couple of the games you ported, and find the French revolution fascinating, and don't have an issue with it being trivialized for the sake of a different story, I'm about as close to being in your corner here as anyone's been thus far. But the extent of your interaction with tactical RPGs up to this point has been porting them, and the extent of your development up to this point (at least from what I've experienced) has been 90s arcade homages. There's nothing that indicates your ability to tackle a project of this scale, nothing that hints at the quality of your writing, nothing that implies you're even capable of making a generic tactical RPG, let alone one with an interesting twist on the format that would inspire me to put down money for this. Hell, why would I even go for this over one of the games you've ported?

You're acting like you've already proven yourself, but you really haven't. That's not to say you can't prove yourself, but you need to show more than you have to prove that you've got a coherent vision for this thing, and an idea for how it's going to play beyond merely stating what genre it falls into. You keep stating that you have reasons you're not along that far yet, which is fine... but that also means it's a really terrible time to start the campaign.

Don't bother man, I tried making very similar points in the last thread and for my troubles I was put on their ignore list.

https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3793353&pagenumber=22&perpage=40#post467675654

I did laugh when that one guard grabbed the pouch of gold that is literally out of the player's reach on turn 1, though. That was funny!

# ¿ Jan 14, 2017 01:00

Ms Adequate: Oct 30, 2011; Baby even when I'm dead and gone
You will always be my only one, my only one
When the night is calling
No matter who I become
You will always be my only one, my only one, my only one
When the night is calling

Zereth posted:

Kickstarter is littered with the graves of game studios who were sure they could pull this off, and turned out to be wrong.

Hell, the graves of game studios who were sure they could pull it off, and who could credibly argue that.

# ¿ Jan 14, 2017 19:36

Ms Adequate: Oct 30, 2011; Baby even when I'm dead and gone
You will always be my only one, my only one
When the night is calling
No matter who I become
You will always be my only one, my only one, my only one
When the night is calling

Hot Dog Day #82 posted:

I'm seeing a lot of lame new posts here and no awesome French Revolution effort posts. Time to storm the Bastille!

but i am le tired

# ¿ Jan 14, 2017 20:33

Ms Adequate: Oct 30, 2011; Baby even when I'm dead and gone
You will always be my only one, my only one
When the night is calling
No matter who I become
You will always be my only one, my only one, my only one
When the night is calling

weak wrists big dick posted:

The kick starter posts are the main reason I check this thread daily, thank you JosephWongKS.

# ¿ Jan 16, 2017 03:40

Ms Adequate: Oct 30, 2011; Baby even when I'm dead and gone
You will always be my only one, my only one
When the night is calling
No matter who I become
You will always be my only one, my only one, my only one
When the night is calling

kukrunkarmaskin posted:

As the OP seems to be absent again, this is now the Fructidor: Juicy Fruities OFFICIAL RELEASE THREAD!

You can play the game here: https://www.dropbox.com/s/tiyod8lil0bm81a/Fructidor.zip?dl=0

The game has 25 waves, after which you will learn a SECRET PASSWORD! The first 3 people to PM me said password will get any game of their choice below �10 on steam.

I'll admit, I wasn't expecting to ever be grabbing a playable game from this thread, but here we are!

# ¿ Jan 17, 2017 20:43

Ms Adequate: Oct 30, 2011; Baby even when I'm dead and gone
You will always be my only one, my only one
When the night is calling
No matter who I become
You will always be my only one, my only one, my only one
When the night is calling

^ lmao this is a good post :hf:

kukrunkarmaskin posted:

Thanks everyone, really appreciating the response ITT. At the start I was mostly doing it for comedy/spite, but then the actual game turned out pretty well!

Reminder that there are still two Fabulous Prizes (Steam game of your choice under �10) up for grabs for anyone who PMs me the SECRET PASSWORD revealed during the ending cutscene, alternately a screenshot of the game stuck with one peasant left.

Also, I'm actually entertaining the thought of further working this into an real game and selling it. My current job involves developing stuff in Unreal Engine so I'm comfortable with that side of things, but I've never done a game before so I'm not super knowledgeable on how I would get to a finished product what with the sales and marketing and kickstarting and all.

So please tell me why this is a horrible idea and how it will make me regret the day I was born. That, or how to improve the game to make it viable.

Holy poo poo this dude never even made a game before and he made Fructidor: Tactical Guillotine Action in a few days, a rough but certainly playable and enjoyable game. And yeah, polish this up and I could see myself paying a few bucks on Steam for it, no question.

Meanwhile, Ron.

# ¿ Jan 18, 2017 17:52

Ms Adequate: Oct 30, 2011; Baby even when I'm dead and gone
You will always be my only one, my only one
When the night is calling
No matter who I become
You will always be my only one, my only one, my only one
When the night is calling

This game really does a great job of capturing the desperation of the times. It's always surprising to me that outside of Paradox games, the question "What if France survived into the Modern Age?" is not up there alongside "What if the Confederacy won?" or "What if Byzantium never fell?". Fructidor drives home just how tense and close things were - indeed, one could say matters balanced on a guillotine edge.

The peasants come without end, seeking food, and no matter how hard I work some are not satisfied. We worked hard to make as many cakes as we could for them, guillotining with a ferocity that would make HyperDevBox's own Rob proud, and there were times when we were sincerely too scared to rotate the camera and see how many more rouge-culottes were making their inexorable way toward us.

We did bravely. But on Wave 25, we fell to the forces of the people.

Scholars still debate exactly what the phrase 'bonne moisson' meant. The most common notion, and one other linguistic work supports to an extent, is that it means something like 'good amount' (by extension implying a tree bearing unusually high quantities of fruit), but in the context of the events of 9 Fructidor, 1789, the argument that it means 'good speed' or '[guillotine] with haste' can be made as well. Hopefully future archeological works might find a rosetta stone of sorts, that we can gain insight into the fascinating French language, and gain more insight into the day-to-day lives of the guillotine designers, guillotine manufacturers, and guillotine operators who made up a plurality of France's working classes during the Revolutionary period.

As a work the game is admittedly limited in scope, but it never proclaimed any objective beyond that which it achieves almost flawlessly. And by shining a light on the extraordinary events of the Fructidorian Reaction, perhaps this unjustly overlooked period of French history will gain more interest in modern pop culture. I rate this guillotine as raised to a height of 13 feet out of a possible 14.

# ¿ Jan 19, 2017 04:26

Ms Adequate: Oct 30, 2011; Baby even when I'm dead and gone
You will always be my only one, my only one
When the night is calling
No matter who I become
You will always be my only one, my only one, my only one
When the night is calling

Dark_Swordmaster posted:

I just came in after the title change and thought that good game from the game jam had its own thread.

It does. This is that thread. What other game might it be about?

# ¿ Jan 19, 2017 22:22

Ms Adequate: Oct 30, 2011; Baby even when I'm dead and gone
You will always be my only one, my only one
When the night is calling
No matter who I become
You will always be my only one, my only one, my only one
When the night is calling

Willfrey posted:

Typical aristocratic bullshit, asking the pesantry to fund their grand designs.

Typical peasant selfishness, refusing to fund the grand designs of their social and intellectual betters.

# ¿ Jan 20, 2017 03:32

Ms Adequate: Oct 30, 2011; Baby even when I'm dead and gone
You will always be my only one, my only one
When the night is calling
No matter who I become
You will always be my only one, my only one, my only one
When the night is calling

Ayn Marx posted:

Ron if you're still reading this tell ur pathetic French CEO to suck my zizi from derri�re

Sacre bleu!

# ¿ Jan 20, 2017 23:27

Ms Adequate: Oct 30, 2011; Baby even when I'm dead and gone
You will always be my only one, my only one
When the night is calling
No matter who I become
You will always be my only one, my only one, my only one
When the night is calling

Reiterpallasch posted:

Since the average Frenchman ate a lot of bread the unsustainably low food prices drove unsustainably high population growth.

Well why didn't they just eat some fish or some pork or something
e; nice chip butty, that'd sort it out :britain:

# ¿ Jan 21, 2017 04:30

Ms Adequate: Oct 30, 2011; Baby even when I'm dead and gone
You will always be my only one, my only one
When the night is calling
No matter who I become
You will always be my only one, my only one, my only one
When the night is calling

Man I cannot beat Wave 25. :stare:

# ¿ Jan 22, 2017 04:56

Ms Adequate: Oct 30, 2011; Baby even when I'm dead and gone
You will always be my only one, my only one
When the night is calling
No matter who I become
You will always be my only one, my only one, my only one
When the night is calling

boy are my arms tired posted:

if you have a lot of cakes, try to either a) stack them all at the end of the belt, or b) launch a few of them in different directions

the ai is programmed to home in on cakes regardless of distance (i think) so spreading them out can buy you some time

Restrained Crown Posse posted:

Use the smart-bombs.

Been doing both these things. :negative:

# ¿ Jan 22, 2017 17:20

Ms Adequate: Oct 30, 2011; Baby even when I'm dead and gone
You will always be my only one, my only one
When the night is calling
No matter who I become
You will always be my only one, my only one, my only one
When the night is calling

Yeah that's good stuff! I think the throwing improvements will be helpful, it's the one area that I don't seem able to reliably do what I want to.

e; sniped. Important Fructidor post near the bottom of the last page!

# ¿ Jan 22, 2017 21:57

Ms Adequate: Oct 30, 2011; Baby even when I'm dead and gone
You will always be my only one, my only one
When the night is calling
No matter who I become
You will always be my only one, my only one, my only one
When the night is calling

Slime posted:

Make the apples into green ones.

Not even rebellious peasants deserve such a fate.

# ¿ Jan 23, 2017 03:51

Ms Adequate: Oct 30, 2011; Baby even when I'm dead and gone
You will always be my only one, my only one
When the night is calling
No matter who I become
You will always be my only one, my only one, my only one
When the night is calling

@ the dude who gave five american dollars today

# ¿ Jan 24, 2017 00:53

Ms Adequate: Oct 30, 2011; Baby even when I'm dead and gone
You will always be my only one, my only one
When the night is calling
No matter who I become
You will always be my only one, my only one, my only one
When the night is calling

DropsySufferer posted:

So it's possible hyperdev has really generated no income at all from this failed attempt and would really be at $0 if they weren't donating to their own campaign...

Headcanon accepted!

# ¿ Jan 26, 2017 03:42

Ms Adequate: Oct 30, 2011; Baby even when I'm dead and gone
You will always be my only one, my only one
When the night is calling
No matter who I become
You will always be my only one, my only one, my only one
When the night is calling

Five straight days without a single new backer. What on earth is going on? Lon please come to the thread for comment, we're really concerned about how this might impact the future of the game if things don't pick up?

# ¿ Jan 30, 2017 04:20

Ms Adequate: Oct 30, 2011; Baby even when I'm dead and gone
You will always be my only one, my only one
When the night is calling
No matter who I become
You will always be my only one, my only one, my only one
When the night is calling

Sole.Sushi posted:

Every time this number gets bigger I become more powerful.

Help I Can't Stop Knocking Things Over With My Massive Erection!

# ¿ Jan 30, 2017 22:44

Ms Adequate: Oct 30, 2011; Baby even when I'm dead and gone
You will always be my only one, my only one
When the night is calling
No matter who I become
You will always be my only one, my only one, my only one
When the night is calling

Dramatika posted:

Sunless skies launched their kickstarter today, and pulled 125k in 4 hours.

O poo poo didn't even know they were making it.

# ¿ Feb 1, 2017 22:19

Ms Adequate: Oct 30, 2011; Baby even when I'm dead and gone
You will always be my only one, my only one
When the night is calling
No matter who I become
You will always be my only one, my only one, my only one
When the night is calling

Scruffyhawk posted:

What the gently caress is going on here:

Thermidor reviving Suikoden minigame staple chinchirorin. Day Negative Eleven Hundred Buy.

# ¿ Feb 4, 2017 01:44

Ms Adequate: Oct 30, 2011; Baby even when I'm dead and gone
You will always be my only one, my only one
When the night is calling
No matter who I become
You will always be my only one, my only one, my only one
When the night is calling

JosephWongKS posted:

4 February 2017 - $1337 USD raised by 32 backers / 0.56% of $240,000 fixed goal (Yup, the amount raised dropped. Seems like a donor withdraw a donation)

Hahahaha fuckin :laffo:

Ron this is what happens when you don't keep in contact with your supporters. We start to lose confidence!

# ¿ Feb 5, 2017 21:15

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ¿ Apr 29, 2024 03:15

Ms Adequate: Oct 30, 2011; Baby even when I'm dead and gone
You will always be my only one, my only one
When the night is calling
No matter who I become
You will always be my only one, my only one, my only one
When the night is calling

Sole.Sushi posted:

I'd rather my doctor refer me to an oncologist.

Actually that line has kind of lost its impact since the development of the revolutionary new cancer treatment, developed in Paris by M. Ronald Guillotin. One simply places the tumor through the device and then allows the blade to drop. Please view this short demonstration video for a fuller understanding:

:thermidor:

# ¿ Feb 7, 2017 20:40

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > Thermidor: Juicy Fruities - Tactical Guillotine and Thread Opening Simulator