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The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > BYOB Goldmine: Gold Mango > Post your favourite Gordon Ramsey quotes about food
 
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Manifisto

Luvcow posted:

"I refuse to admit that mankind is so tragically bound to the starless midnight of racism and war that the bright daybreak of peace and brotherhood can never become a reality I believe that unarmed truth and unconditional love will have the final word. That said, this risotto is loving poo poo, gently caress off man."

I have a dream . . . that one day you will make an omelette that is at least barely fit to be eaten off the floor like a animal, you piece of poo poo

* # ¿ Jan 10, 2017 16:06
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# ¿ Apr 29, 2024 18:04
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Manifisto

Android Blues posted:

This pizza base has tiny ants baked into it...I love it! Top marks! *furiously crunching tiny ants* Let's end the episode early because I like it so much!
* # ¿ Jan 10, 2017 16:25
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Manifisto


 now at pizza hut . . . chef gordon's "spicy boys" pizza crust!

* # ¿ Jan 10, 2017 16:26
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Manifisto

Android Blues posted:

*conciliatory, happy music playing. Gordon has prepared a new menu and a new seating plan for the struggling restaurant.* This is sure to turn your fortunes around. Just get it right, eh?

The menu is all Pepsi. It's nothing but Pepsi and the different sizes of Pepsi. On the back is Coke, where the wine list would be. On the front is a big Clipart picture of a man furiously chugging from a bottle, holding it up above his face with both hands, little cartoon sweat drops coming off him. The restaurant has no listed name. The maitre'd nods approvingly. Finally, this husband-and-wife team is beginning to understand what success in the dining business looks like.

a mentos truck has lost its brakes and is barreling towards the restaurant. everyone is petrified by horror but unable to look away. gordon roars wordlessly and raises his arms. is this a final act of defiance, or is he reaching out to embrace the ultimate realization of his vision?

* # ¿ Jan 10, 2017 16:50
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Manifisto

Luvcow posted:

*an ancient looking Gordon Ramsey bows to thunderous applause at his retirement party, throngs of fans and admirers screaming and crying as he thanks them.

Camera begins to draw back to reveal the real Gordon Ramsey looking into a snow globe, the tiny retirement scene playing out before him in the little glass sphere. A door opens and a McDonalds manager enters the room*

"God damnit Gordon the fryers backed up again and there's a huge line at the drive thru. Change the grease and then help Joey flip those burgers and if I catch you hiding in here one more time you're loving fired."
* # ¿ Jan 10, 2017 18:02
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# ¿ Apr 29, 2024 18:04
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Manifisto


 ramsay's honor is on the line as a contestant on iron chef japan. he is confident, cocky even, as he selects iron chef morimoto as his opponent. but then chairman kaga names the secret ingredient:

"dokteru . . . pepperu!"

ramsay's face whitens and the knife slips from his fingers. morimoto smirks and turns to his workstation. allez cuisine, indeed.

* # ¿ Jan 12, 2017 23:22
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The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > BYOB Goldmine: Gold Mango > Post your favourite Gordon Ramsey quotes about food