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What #Team are you
Theodore Roosevelt
William Jennings Bryan
View Results
 
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Epic High Five
Jun 5, 2004





VERSUS



Look okay, this derail has gone on long enough, it's time we kept it contained to one thread.

I believe both are great men, and the people here should familiarize themselves with them before posting further

Here is a famous speech given by Theodore immediately after having been shot. Note that craven and cowardly Reagan just flopped on the ground a bunch when he was shot.

Here is Bryan's famous speech on including a silver standard to upend the gold standard, ending in one of the most famous lines in American oratory. The gold standard was and is designed to be wholly controlled and favorable to the monied elite and this made Bryan a fiery populist of the time.

Both very complicated men, and had not Theodore taken a firmer stance against Capital during his tenure as POTUS I would consider Bryan the greater of the two, despite the mighty energy and desire for reform of Theodore. He was frankly a bit of a FYGM nose in the air bootstraps snob for most of his life.

And before anybody asks, as far as scholars have been able to deduce, neither man was into watersports in a verifiable or potentially compromising way

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Fallen Hamprince
Nov 12, 2016

Theodore Roosevelt looks like a cool uncle and Jennings looks like a high school gym teacher that got quietly let go to avoid a scandal

Epic High Five
Jun 5, 2004



Fallen Hamprince posted:

Theodore Roosevelt looks like a cool uncle and Jennings looks like a high school gym teacher that got quietly let go to avoid a scandal

I heard he once beat a fat cat to death with a sack of silver ingots

Donkwich
Feb 28, 2011


Grimey Drawer
You shall not crucify mankind upon a cross stream of gold

Sheng-Ji Yang
Mar 5, 2014


im a bryanbro

Epic High Five
Jun 5, 2004



Donkwich posted:

You shall not crucify mankind upon a cross stream of gold

This also doubles as a Ghostbusters joke

Fidel Castronaut
Dec 25, 2004

Houston, we're Havana problem.
Theodore Roosevelt said he read Anna Karenina while camping out and capturing three boat thieves but he never saw Hamilton so is he a real liberal? The jury is out.

Epic High Five
Jun 5, 2004



Fidel Castronaut posted:

Theodore Roosevelt said he read Anna Karenina while camping out and capturing three boat thieves but he never saw Hamilton so is he a real liberal? The jury is out.

I'm not sure he would ever lay claim to that title. The saga of Red-Headed Finnegan was a great one

One of things I respect most about Roosevelt is that he read like 4 hours a day and generally finished 1-2 books, and wrote like 40 of his own.

Soooooo many reasons he would be totally unelectable as a Republican today

Also he never saw Hamilton but spent most of his life savaging Jefferson as a mewling coward and incompetent which has to count for something right?

Mycroft Holmes
Mar 26, 2010

by Azathoth
Bryan was the ultimate supporter of creationism. He argued against evolution as one of the lawyers in the Scopes trial. I'm not letting some loving creationist be president.

Donkwich
Feb 28, 2011


Grimey Drawer
i unironically love wjb and dont care hes a creationist, hes gods creation in my eyes

Victory Position
Mar 16, 2004

by looks alone, Teddy and his extremely short tie are much more preferable to the sad sack below him

Yossarian-22
Oct 26, 2014

Teddy was imperialist scum imho

Epic High Five
Jun 5, 2004



Yossarian-22 posted:

Teddy was imperialist scum imho

*Americanist

Sheng-Ji Yang
Mar 5, 2014


Donkwich posted:

i unironically love wjb and dont care hes a creationist, hes gods creation in my eyes

yeah bryan's main opposition to evolution was that it supported social darwinism. he was def wrong but he would have been a pretty good prez

Sheng-Ji Yang
Mar 5, 2014


Weeping Wound posted:

by looks alone, Teddy and his extremely short tie are much more preferable to the sad sack below him

Epic High Five
Jun 5, 2004




haha hell yeah

Joementum
May 23, 2004

jesus christ
grape juice sucks

Atrocious Joe
Sep 2, 2011


this is my fetish

Epic High Five
Jun 5, 2004



Joementum posted:

grape juice sucks

Fine with some yeast and time

Baloogan
Dec 5, 2004
Fun Shoe
i will throw anyonw who votes for the other guy not rossevelt in the panaama canal

Epic High Five
Jun 5, 2004



Baloogan posted:

i will throw anyonw who votes for the other guy not rossevelt in the panaama canal

better hope they aren't each 400 pound hackers, you may cause an international incident

byob historian
Nov 5, 2008

I'm an animal abusing piece of shit! I deliberately poisoned my dog to death and think it's funny! I'm an irredeemable sack of human shit!

Epic High Five posted:

And before anybody asks, as far as scholars have been able to deduce, neither man was into watersports in a verifiable or potentially compromising way

well drat how do i know how to pull for then

Baloogan
Dec 5, 2004
Fun Shoe

Epic High Five posted:

better hope they aren't each 400 pound hackers, you may cause an international incident

how much do you lift brah

Epic High Five
Jun 5, 2004



Baloogan posted:

how much do you lift brah

my 3 lift total is almost up to approx. 5 Theodore Roosevelts which isn't kingly but it is is what it is

119 gallons of prohibition-approved grape juice

Lastgirl
Sep 7, 1997


Good Morning!
Sunday Morning!

Epic High Five posted:

my 3 lift total is almost up to approx. 5 Theodore Roosevelts which isn't kingly but it is is what it is

119 gallons of prohibition-approved grape juice

hav u tried gettin shot

then lifting ur weights after bin shot like the bg T??

Epic High Five
Jun 5, 2004



Lastgirl posted:

hav u tried gettin shot

then lifting ur weights after bin shot like the bg T??

I once took way too much beta alanine before a workout and did it while it felt like a hundred 9 volts were discharging into me, does that count

Lord of Pie
Mar 2, 2007


DEBS!

*click*

TheDon01
Mar 8, 2009


My man Teddy!

Dude knows how to shoot a critter and also protect a critter. Thats good in my book.

Al!
Apr 2, 2010

:coolspot::coolspot::coolspot::coolspot::coolspot:

Donkwich posted:

You shall not crucify mankind upon a cross stream of gold

rudatron
May 31, 2011

by Fluffdaddy
which of you SHITLORDS is bagging ROOSEVELT because i will END YOU

i'm MAD

on the INTERNET

Victory Position
Mar 16, 2004


on the other hand, I can appreciate a scary snake with a human head as president

huff, now I'm undecided...

Epic High Five
Jun 5, 2004



rudatron posted:

which of you SHITLORDS is bagging ROOSEVELT because i will END YOU

i'm MAD

on the INTERNET

Only ZDR can say, and yet he remains silent. How convenient, if you ask me!

Epic High Five
Jun 5, 2004



Also allow me to reflect for a moment on how funny it is that so many Americans believe that the gold standard is somehow more democratic than fiat currency.

Their bedrock belief is that something scarce will be shared equally among all men, and it is this aspect of their belief that is rightly mocked.

Also, it's generally just a pretext to start bashing Zionist conspiracies

Victory Position
Mar 16, 2004

Epic High Five posted:

Also allow me to reflect for a moment on how funny it is that so many Americans believe that the gold standard is somehow more democratic than fiat currency.

Their bedrock belief is that something scarce will be shared equally among all men, and it is this aspect of their belief that is rightly mocked.

Also, it's generally just a pretext to start bashing Zionist conspiracies

monoatomic gold, friend

we can shoot the gold straight into our bodies and gain super powers

Epic High Five
Jun 5, 2004



Weeping Wound posted:

monoatomic gold, friend

we can shoot the gold straight into our bodies and gain super powers

Better to just inject 16x as much silver imho

Mia Wasikowska
Oct 7, 2006

Donkwich posted:

You shall not crucify mankind upon a cross stream of gold

Mia Wasikowska
Oct 7, 2006


drat

Epic High Five
Jun 5, 2004




As you can tell his rhetoric was pretty popular with other Democrats at the time

Sheng-Ji Yang
Mar 5, 2014


wjb and the populists unironically ruled and im totally down with weird agrarian christian socialism

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Sheng-Ji Yang
Mar 5, 2014


also he had the best political cartoons about him







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