AliExpress: I CAN SHOW YOU SOME TRASH

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > AliExpress: I CAN SHOW YOU SOME TRASH

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

AliExpress is a place where things are extremely cheap, usually, and you will probably get them (someday). Ordering anything from AliExpress (the piecewise sales face of AliBaba) is always a bit of a gamble, and items often take 1-2 months to appear. I've had things arrive from Singapore, Cambodia, and Russia, but most commonly China. Personally, I've had good luck with it, especially when it comes to small housewares, costume jewelry, and select electronics. This is a thread for sharing some of the better sales to be found on AliExpress.

As helpfully described by Wikipedia,

quote:

Launched in 2010, AliExpress.com is an online retail service made up of mostly small Chinese businesses offering products to international online buyers. It is the most visited e-commerce website in Russia.

Wow, not a lot of detail there! The gist of it is, if you've seen "Made in China" stamped on something at the store, especially something you think is overpriced for what it is, you might just find it on this site for substantially less money.

These mesh bags are useful for organizing closets.

These soda savers can be used to close off bottles.

These herb scissors make chopping herbs easier, especially if you have trouble with knives.

This collapsible funnel saves space while remaining a functional funnel.

These boot supports will keep your boots standing when in storage to help protect the shape of the leather.

Seam rippers are helpful for when you want to change buttons on an outfit and etc.

These eyelash curlers are nice for the price.

I've had good luck with these earphones, I stash them around because I am always leaving my good ones at home accidentally.

This precision screwdriver with exchangeable heads could be useful.

This hairdryer rack saves counter space.

These deck anchors are good for when you want to anchor things to a wooden deck without damaging the deck.

These stainless steel collar stays are for classy people who need collar stays.

This car clip for pets will secure your dog in the car using an unused seatbelt.

This tassel contains an iphone cord

Great deal on palettes if you're a painter

A stupidly good deal on water brushes for artists

A very good deal on Magic Eraser sponges, enough for you and all your friends

This type of glove is very helpful if you use depilatories such as Nair or Magic Shave, and the price can't be beat

If you live near somewhere you think your car may end up underwater, this safety item is worth the $3 to have next to your seat

Some acrylic painters like silicone brushes, if you are such a person this price is very good

This is helpful for cleaning your back in the shower

Glue dots are useful, get them here for cheap

Bag hooks for your car! And for less than $2.

This thing holds your phone AND looks like a spider!

These custom figurines of you or whoever's picture you sent to them (you creep) are supposed to be legit really good

How about this cat memo pad?

Cheap bag with many compartments, I always have one in the car, good for makeup and etc as well ~2.50

Carrying straps for moving furniture etc

Car seat pouch, actually for keeping poo poo from falling down between the seat of your car and the center console

Classy pens for classy signatures, cheap combo of three

Flexible curve for illustrating, woodworking, drafting, all sorts of good stuff

Cheap fiberglass tape

Adorable strawberry totes, make your friends think you care about them a lot more than 65 cents

Plastic bag carrying handle

These doohickeys are really good for fixing knitwear

You can use these to reattach tags to stuff, please use for legal applications only.

These remain unusually expensive on AliExpress, this is the best deal I've seen on them anywhere and I hate it when stuff boils over so it's worth a try

This type of brush is extremely good for applying certain types of pigment in craft applications, first time I've seen one this big

Hair-drying cap

Thermochromic pigment

Put these over your feet to mop the floor, good if you have a relatively small amount of linoleum in your kitchen/bathroom and a proper mop is overkill ~70 cents

This removes hair from drains ~40 cents

Collections:

quote:

THE PICK KITCHEN:

If you or your spouse likes kitchen do-dads for cheap, here is a list of cheap kitchen do-dads. The usefulness varies but the prices are good.

.50 This silicone basting brush

.19 Orange peeling zip

.78 Finger guard

1.00 Potato microwave pouch

.99 Onion holder for cutting (Personal fav)

.29 Dumpling crimper

1.00 French fry cutter

1.65 Mango/peach slicer

1.40 This egg timer is weirdly charming to me

1.20 It seems weird, but these bags really do improve your ability to make baked potatoes in your microwave

1.00 Grilled cheese toaster bags, another one of those dumb things that isn't worth the price in stores but for $1 yeah it's handy actually

1.30 Wiggle cutter

~2.00 (watch for sale) Silicone cupcake molds, 12 pack

.31 Bottle sponge

.81 Garlic grater

.88 Apple corer

1.30 Small stainless steel zester/grater

.86 Pepper corers

1.40 Cherry pitter

.74 10 magic erasers

.98 Fruit ballers

1.26 Silicone oven mitt

1.98 Stainless steel apple slicer

.65 + Reusable cling tops

2.00 This garlic press will allow your to press garlic for many years.

1.89 Fly umbrella

quote:

INEXPENSIVE JEWELRY:

Silver cat necklace

Fang necklace

Kitty above, in gold

Leaves and fake pearls

Geometric necklace

Music notes necklace

This necklace is classy and comes in three colors.

Elk whorls necklace

Nerdy seratonin necklace

My personal favorite (it's pretty in person) this deer skull necklace

This necklace looks surprisingly good in person

This hokey space necklace is pretty and comes in many designs

T-rex skeleton necklace

Red Riding Hood necklace

Turtle necklace

Snowflake necklace

Peacock necklace

Frog ring

quote:

GARDENING TIME:

These vertical planters are very high quality and I've been impressed with them so far. Received in 10 days.

These fabric pots are decent quality, and were also received quickly. Much cheaper than normal pots, and drain well. They're not stylish but they're extremely functional.

These small vertical planters work for a windowsil

This drip irrigation system will keep your houseplants happy at almost zero effort

Some seeds are good, some seeds are bad! Vegetable seeds are usually okay. However, importing seeds from China is illegal so they won't be listed in this OP. I bet you could totally buy them for small amounts of money though!!

quote:

STUPID GARBAGE NOBODY NEEDS BUT YOU PROBABLY WANT:

These magnetic ball toys can no longer be purchased from stores in the USA; don't give them to children.

Write your own music for this music box

Spice up a party with tootpicks that look like ants

This anatomical model is helpful for artists drawing faces and heads

Disappearing ink pen

These head massagers feel good, and at 60 cents it's worth a try

These gimmicky bottle cap launchers are fun gifts and guys I know have enjoyed them

your girlfriend wants this

cat purse

Decal of cat bursting out of your toilet

Pen that writes in UV reactive ink, and has a little UV light on it!

Highly-rated nosehair trimmer

Luggage tags for distinguishing luggage, 70 cents

Agate burnishing tool for jewelry and gold leaf, $1.20

Silver and gold leaf, $1.50-$3 depending on type, 100 sheets.

Cute toothpaste squeezer, 39 cents

Silicone wine rack, about $3

Loud metal keychain whistles for safety, 25 cents

Silicone nonstick mat/trivet for kitchen, about $1.50

Attractive leaf doorstop, about $1.50

Vintage-style metal letter opener, $2.25

8 neon pigments in containers, about $3.75 -- good for crafts

Stainless steel can strainer, about $5

Egg storage container for your fridge, about $2.20

Real bone bonefolder, about $2

100 rare earth magnet discs, about $1.40

Hand-carved wooden rice paddle that looks like a fish, about $1.70

Jump ring, uh, ring, which is used for fixing jewelry. 39 cents. Goes well with these jewelry pliers, about $1.90

Wall-mounted guitar holder, about $2.75, also very good for paddles, certain types of vacuum cleaner, etc. Very sturdy, comes with all hardware

Best bra-bag for washing machines I've encountered on AliExpress, about 80 cents.

Large silicone mixing bag, good for many applications such as mixing resin, $3.80 or so

Set of six strong stainless steel multi-hangers, $10.80 or so, which is super expensive for AliExpress it seems, and yet I've ordered these twice because they really do make your closet so much more efficient and easy to navigate, highly recommended

Whale toothpick party-pick holder, $1.10, extremely cute

100 orangesticks, which are the sticks used for manicures, $1.44

Amusing extendable magnet for reaching little magnetic things that fall into hard-to-reach places, 90 cents

Solid camera strap, $2.00 about

These toaster bags Pick thought was dumb and now uses all the time, 80 cents

:tipshat:

The prices vary on the day-to-day, but almost everything is perennially "on sale". There are many duplicate items available, so make sure to check that you got the best price/best provider combination. Definitely prioritize items with many successful orders, especially highly-rated orders. Check for feedback that contains comments also, as these tend to be particularly informative. Furthermore, in my general experience, it's the place to go for things that usually cost $6-30 in US stores. I don't know if I'd recommend ordering anything particularly expensive there, though there is a refunding process.

DO NOT buy capacitors on this site. DO NOT buy toys which may end up in a child's mouth. DO NOT buy counterfeit goods (it's a crime!) Buy with caution and a measure of common sense. Always check and see if there's a better deal on Amazon/domestically, and always make sure what you are purchasing is safe and legal. Have fun!

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

Pick fucked around with this message at 05:34 on Jan 5, 2021

# ¿ Jan 18, 2017 05:29

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# ¿ Apr 27, 2024 11:42

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Blue Train posted:

I like AliExpress but their tools are trash and anything metal probably contains a good dose of lead and cadmium. That being said, they are good

Yeah so no different than the stuff made in china you buy at like a normal store

# ¿ Jan 18, 2017 05:38

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Bag hooks for your car! And for less than $2.

This thing holds your phone AND looks like a spider!

For $1.12, can't beat that poo poo

# ¿ Jan 18, 2017 05:43

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Invisible Handjob posted:

as an aside it's amazing how much China's postal service is subsidized that you can buy stuff like that spider thing for a dollar

Yeah it's completely baffling and clearly economically horseshit that it works. For the time being I'm taking advantage of it.

My only really bad buy from AliExpress so far was a bad digital camera. Everything else has been good and eventually showed up. Common sense applies.

# ¿ Jan 18, 2017 05:50

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Xaris posted:

aliexpress is cool because you order an assortment of $1-$10 poo poo and forget about it, then a bunch of shady random chinese packages show up 3 months later and you're like hey cool it's chinese christmas

this is exactly how to order from aliexpress and what makes it so fun

# ¿ Jan 18, 2017 06:25

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Cubone posted:

I ended up at AliExpress while looking for a place that would custom print waistband elastic that said "sorry for party rocking" (don't worry about why) and they seemed like the only place that would do it but the site seemed kind of sketchy and I'd never heard of it so I didn't buy it. I hope you enjoyed my story

These custom figurines of you or whoever's picture you sent to them (you creep) are supposed to be legit really good

# ¿ Jan 18, 2017 06:28

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

The Snoo posted:

I order poo poo from aliexpress every few months and I got a couple of christmas gifts on there... a tip: look for listings with reviews that have pictures of the items. it helps so much, especially with so many duplicate listings like pick said.

I'm still waiting on some screw spikes for my jacket

I only had an issue with something being wonky once and I got a refund.

Yeah, the Feedback section is really helpful. Generally speaking, organizing searches by the overall number of orders is a good way to find items with a lot of feedback which you can check out.

# ¿ Jan 18, 2017 06:44

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

cyberia posted:

dhgate.com is a similar site to Aliexpress and I've ordered stuff before without issue. Most stuff ships to Australia within a few weeks which seems better than the several months you guys have to wait.

I've gotten stuff from aliexpress in as little as 10 days :shrug:

# ¿ Jan 18, 2017 07:56

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

By the way, I've heard that one of the absolute best things to get on AliExpress is fishing gear/lures, so if you have an old boring dad or granddad who likes fishing, you could probably drop $10 and get him the equivalent of a major haul.

# ¿ Jan 18, 2017 08:09

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Big Clive is a hoot, and this is my favorite of his videos:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hvOTiQKkQMo

# ¿ Jan 18, 2017 08:48

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

luncheon meat posted:

Oh yeah large Clive is good. https://www.youtube.com/user/bigclivedotcom also check out this guy's USB charger reviews: http://lygte-info.dk/info/ChargerIndex%20UK.html

I had heaps of those cheap plug adapters he calls deathplugs (or something) and chucked em all after seeing him take them apart. I think I've only bought one or two things that run off mains and only because they were from the official Orico/Xiaomi stores. Even then I took them apart to check if they were legit (they is)

I don't buy electronics on AliExpress. Ultimately, it's just not worth the price difference. I like saving money on small bullshit things, but frankly it's hard to feel self-satisfied about your purchasing savvy when you've been electrocuted and you are dead.

# ¿ Jan 18, 2017 09:16

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

WrenP-Complete posted:

I just ordered this bird feeder! https://www.aliexpress.com/item/Clear-Window-Squirrel-Proof-Bird-Feeder-Window-bird-feeders/32434113812.html

I'd actually looked at that same bird feeder, I really like it!

# ¿ Jan 18, 2017 19:05

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

In one case it only goes to the people who made it, in the second it financially rewards the people who found and exploited them. By exploiting them directly, you cut out one exploiter and remove the incentive for them to exploit further.

If that seems cynical, :capitalism:

# ¿ Jan 18, 2017 19:07

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Neutrino posted:

Can I order LED filament light bulbs and expect them to arrive unbroken?

The traditional approach is, "order one and find out"

A lot of their stuff actually does get shipped stupidly carefully because shipping materials are cheap and the mail in China is so stupidly subsidized.

# ¿ Jan 18, 2017 19:09

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

ChickenHeart posted:

I wonder how many times I can drink out of this AliExpress glassware set before the thorium content in my body reaches dangerous levels

cheap thorium imho

# ¿ Jan 18, 2017 19:11

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Troposphere posted:

I never ordered anything from aliexpress because I like my consumerist gratification to be instant but maybe I will now hmm

There's some good stuff I think you'd like which are like, makeup peripherals? But not make-up per se, like the sponges you use to help you clean brushes.

# ¿ Jan 18, 2017 19:54

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

cat purse

# ¿ Jan 18, 2017 20:01

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Hug in a Can posted:

the bb dupes are no good but I love the little silicone brush cleaners

the brushes are okay, they're the same as the no name brush sets you can buy on Amazon

DO NOT BUY THE SEX TOYS.

yeah I can agree with all this :hf:

# ¿ Jan 18, 2017 20:03

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

How about this cat memo pad?

# ¿ Jan 18, 2017 20:04

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Or, for $1.30, you can get a cat bursting out of your toilet

# ¿ Jan 18, 2017 20:06

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

...and the pitch! posted:

I want that cat purse myself.

BTW it's pretty rare that it's not on sale, keep an eye out and it'll be like $6 in the next few days I'm sure.

# ¿ Jan 18, 2017 20:10

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

These oval brushes are without a doubt the absolute best applicators for Rub n Buff

Unfortunately, they are $55 apiece at Anthropologie

Fortunately, they are 90 cents apiece on Aliexpress

# ¿ Jan 18, 2017 20:28

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Hug in a Can posted:

now your phone can be as elegant as you

that is fuckin dope

# ¿ Jan 18, 2017 20:32

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

RocketSurgeon posted:

Do not believe their soft lies. Nothing is squirrel proof. Nothing!

Squirrels will follow you to the loving moon

# ¿ Jan 18, 2017 21:15

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

hemale in pain posted:

I'm looking for a new t-shirt, if anyone can link a cool one I'll buy it.

These shirts are bamboo fiber, which is incredibly comfortable. The price is good and they are very nice-looking.

# ¿ Jan 18, 2017 21:25

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Cheap bag with many compartments, I always have one in the car, good for makeup and etc as well ~2.50

Put these over your feet to mop the floor, good if you have a relatively small amount of linoleum in your kitchen/bathroom and a proper mop is overkill ~70 cents

This removes hair from drains ~40 cents

This egg timer is weirdly charming to me ~1.40

It seems weird, but these bags really do improve your ability to make baked potatoes in your microwave ~1.20

# ¿ Jan 18, 2017 21:40

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Retard Tranny posted:

Also, Aliexpress is cool and good. I've bought some Nike reps that are almost perfect and have lasted as long or longer as the real thing. Also bought some "Yeti" cups that had very real looking boxes, tags and decals. Also bought some other odds and ends for motorcycles and RC stuff.

I assume they're making the legitimate product, and any they sell at higher profit through Aliexpress they explain to Yeti they "lost". It's like buying stuff out of the back of a truck, but from thousands of miles away and suspiciously subsidized by the Chinese government

# ¿ Jan 19, 2017 00:54

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

luncheon meat posted:

I just ordered 6 of these and I know exactly which middle of nowhere trucker lounge I'm going to put one in

These are some of the greatest applications of aliexpress products

# ¿ Jan 19, 2017 02:24

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

scrubs season six posted:

Does this website have anything that would be good for assassinating a toddler?

go to the toys section, filter from cheapest to most expensive. buy anything on the first page.

# ¿ Jan 19, 2017 02:25

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Devian666 posted:

I must say the quality of the flag doormats is exceptional. I do recommend buying the one with the Australian flag.

https://www.aliexpress.com/item/40-...f1-1ed0de9c5177

Doesn't the Australian flag have six stars?

# ¿ Jan 19, 2017 02:47

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Devian666 posted:

The last star in the southern cross costs an extra $50.

I won't be able to navigate without it...

# ¿ Jan 19, 2017 03:32

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Hell yeah now running into this door handle is awesome!

# ¿ Jan 19, 2017 06:05

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

ChickenHeart posted:

Also Pick jaguars are almost as cool as bats and I always abide by the "420 donate a portion of your income to the WWF erryday" rule, so good on you

Thanks, I motivate myself to do things by rewarding myself by donating money to species conservation

# ¿ Jan 19, 2017 07:11

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

please find this

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7MYSTMg6bu0

# ¿ Jan 19, 2017 07:55

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Three-Phase posted:

Glad someone posted BigClive links on page one.

Counterfeit USB chargers can practically be death traps. Things like where there are minimum trace clearances between the 120V (240 for weird countries) and the 5V side that are ignored. Plus the output is usually crappy.

Yeah, also when electronics are involved, I always flash back to

# ¿ Jan 19, 2017 18:29

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

MY PALE GOTH SKIN posted:

Also the Chinese New Year starts in 9 days and no one does poo poo or gently caress during that, so order stuff now and hope it gets mailed if you want it before March.

poo poo, thanks for reminding me!

# ¿ Jan 19, 2017 19:22

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Aw man I was going to post that you're missing the yellow submarine when you only had the first picture up, but there it is hiding in the second one!

# ¿ Jan 19, 2017 19:51

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Stickers are also a great bye, especially if you have kids.

# ¿ Jan 19, 2017 23:38

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Look, for under $4 you can get every single lovely sticker you ever bought at one of those dispensers when you were in middle school

# ¿ Jan 20, 2017 00:46

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# ¿ Apr 27, 2024 11:42

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Here's those stupid little finger skateboards

The only upshot is, for only $37, you could get one hundred loving finger skateboards.

For $370, you could get one thousand loving finger skateboards, which practically performs the prank for you.

# ¿ Jan 20, 2017 01:42

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