2017 AFC East: Dolphins Circling the Bowles

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Football Funhouse > 2017 AFC East: Dolphins Circling the Bowles

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mcmagic: Jul 1, 2004; If you see this avatar while scrolling the succ zone, you have been visited by the mcmagic of shitty lib takes! Good luck and prosperity will come to you, but only if you reply "shut the fuck up mcmagic" to this post!

Dre2Dee2 posted:

God has looked upon the Jets and grace them with weapons grade lucktonium. The Jets are horrible, but so are the Patriots right now. This is the most vulnerable the Pats have been in years.

The Jets will be the worst team to ever get the 1st seed in the AFC

They really haven't gotten lucky, they are just better than the Browns and Jaguars and Dolphins...

Looks like it's either Cousins or trade up in May.

# ¿ Oct 8, 2017 22:13

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# ¿ May 15, 2024 05:55

mcmagic: Jul 1, 2004; If you see this avatar while scrolling the succ zone, you have been visited by the mcmagic of shitty lib takes! Good luck and prosperity will come to you, but only if you reply "shut the fuck up mcmagic" to this post!

Diva Cupcake posted:

5-11. Maybe 4-2. Just hope for 3 QBs coming out.

I don't think there any way after 3-2 than they get ahead of the Browns or 9ers in the draft and the 2 QB's are going 1-2.

# ¿ Oct 8, 2017 22:28

mcmagic: Jul 1, 2004; If you see this avatar while scrolling the succ zone, you have been visited by the mcmagic of shitty lib takes! Good luck and prosperity will come to you, but only if you reply "shut the fuck up mcmagic" to this post!

The more they win, the more they will just keep throwing Josh McCown out there to play like the 25th best starter in the NFL or so and they will not find out if they have an NFL QB in Bryce Petty.

# ¿ Oct 9, 2017 00:11

mcmagic: Jul 1, 2004; If you see this avatar while scrolling the succ zone, you have been visited by the mcmagic of shitty lib takes! Good luck and prosperity will come to you, but only if you reply "shut the fuck up mcmagic" to this post!

Diva Cupcake posted:

Im actually quite OK with Kirk Cousins. I think he goes to the Niners though.

Cousins is gonna get like 160M... If he goes to the 9ers, Jets will have to trade up to 2.

# ¿ Oct 9, 2017 01:10

mcmagic: Jul 1, 2004; If you see this avatar while scrolling the succ zone, you have been visited by the mcmagic of shitty lib takes! Good luck and prosperity will come to you, but only if you reply "shut the fuck up mcmagic" to this post!

Diva Cupcake posted:

So be it. I'm ok with either paying Cousins or trading the ransom for a top 2 pick. At some point you need to pull the trigger on a QB.

Agreed.

# ¿ Oct 9, 2017 14:36

mcmagic: Jul 1, 2004; If you see this avatar while scrolling the succ zone, you have been visited by the mcmagic of shitty lib takes! Good luck and prosperity will come to you, but only if you reply "shut the fuck up mcmagic" to this post!

Gotta love how the cheating shitbags needed the refs to turn this game around for them after getting outplayed by a terrible team most of the first half and they are STILL whining after every play.

# ¿ Oct 15, 2017 20:17

mcmagic: Jul 1, 2004; If you see this avatar while scrolling the succ zone, you have been visited by the mcmagic of shitty lib takes! Good luck and prosperity will come to you, but only if you reply "shut the fuck up mcmagic" to this post!

GonadTheBallbarian posted:

Oh loving please you were gifted the worst defense in the league and you still can't get 4th and short?

Your team sucks. Plain and simple.

The Jets have the worst roster in the league and your overrated piece of poo poo cheating fuckbag team still needed this game handed to them by the refs. Your team also sucks.

# ¿ Oct 15, 2017 20:27

mcmagic: Jul 1, 2004; If you see this avatar while scrolling the succ zone, you have been visited by the mcmagic of shitty lib takes! Good luck and prosperity will come to you, but only if you reply "shut the fuck up mcmagic" to this post!

GonadTheBallbarian posted:

Must be nice to be able to bend your perception of reality to whatever fits your tantrum. Last I checked the game wasn't over, and McCown was bailed out more than a few times by your hated refs.

As I was saying. More utter horseshit to manufacture gifts for your fraudulent team.

# ¿ Oct 15, 2017 20:43

mcmagic: Jul 1, 2004; If you see this avatar while scrolling the succ zone, you have been visited by the mcmagic of shitty lib takes! Good luck and prosperity will come to you, but only if you reply "shut the fuck up mcmagic" to this post!

I've been watching this profoundly evil franchise have games gifted to them for the majority of my life. I'm almost numb to it... Almost.

# ¿ Oct 15, 2017 20:53

mcmagic: Jul 1, 2004; If you see this avatar while scrolling the succ zone, you have been visited by the mcmagic of shitty lib takes! Good luck and prosperity will come to you, but only if you reply "shut the fuck up mcmagic" to this post!

The fraud that never ends.

# ¿ Oct 15, 2017 21:10

mcmagic: Jul 1, 2004; If you see this avatar while scrolling the succ zone, you have been visited by the mcmagic of shitty lib takes! Good luck and prosperity will come to you, but only if you reply "shut the fuck up mcmagic" to this post!

Phobeste posted:

I'm glad the patriots won the game and I'm glad the reffing was even and that call was the right call and a case where trying to keep the rules logically consistent works out to dramatically worse outcomes. But it was right.

Also jesus christ mcmagic I'm worried for the safety of those around you if we make the playoffs

LOL

Those around me are fine. Like I said, i'm used to your fraudulent team having games gifted to them.

The refs literally ended the Jets' season today so that was nice.

sirtommygunn posted:

Like, I know the Patriots effectively start every game with 7 points to a phantom DPI, but this was way over the top.

The DPI against Adams was just as fraudulent as the ASJ travesty. (And the call that really changed the game, the clear headshot on Robby Anderson that was picked up)

mcmagic fucked around with this message at 22:04 on Oct 15, 2017

# ¿ Oct 15, 2017 22:02

mcmagic: Jul 1, 2004; If you see this avatar while scrolling the succ zone, you have been visited by the mcmagic of shitty lib takes! Good luck and prosperity will come to you, but only if you reply "shut the fuck up mcmagic" to this post!

Phobeste posted:

You get to trade that off for the headshot on brady when he was already tackled by something else that wasn't called. I'm sorry you lost but there's no point spinning out and hooting and hollering about cheating every year for the past twenty, just think about how the team can improve and maybe you'll be happier.

I can think about both those things. The Jets are a terrible team and I expected nothing from this season (other than losing fraudulent games to New England because that happens every year). That being said they should be in first place looking at going 5-2 vs Miami and they aren't because of fraud.

# ¿ Oct 15, 2017 22:11

mcmagic: Jul 1, 2004; If you see this avatar while scrolling the succ zone, you have been visited by the mcmagic of shitty lib takes! Good luck and prosperity will come to you, but only if you reply "shut the fuck up mcmagic" to this post!

Jiminy Christmas! Shoes! posted:

The "touchback" was baloney. But on the other hand the Jets gave up 24 unanswered points.

All in all, a very Jetsy game.

It was a very Cheat's game in that when they were down 14-0 and the Jets were driving to go up at worst 17-0, the Refs decided that that shouldn't happen and picked up a clear helmet to helmet flag that would've put the Jets in FG range and called a ridiculous DPI against Adams in the endzone so their bullshit turned a 17 or 21-0 Jets lead into a 14-7 game and that was before the Jets were robbed of a clear TD. The refs, as clearly as i've ever seen, decided that game.

# ¿ Oct 16, 2017 16:51

mcmagic: Jul 1, 2004; If you see this avatar while scrolling the succ zone, you have been visited by the mcmagic of shitty lib takes! Good luck and prosperity will come to you, but only if you reply "shut the fuck up mcmagic" to this post!

Jiminy Christmas! Shoes! posted:

Jets after going up 14:

Punt
Punt
Punt
Interception
Interception
"Fumble"
Field Goal
Turnover on Downs

So your argument is that the Jets going up 17-0 or 21-0 (or even it being 14-3 instead of 14-7 after the Adams call) wouldn't have changed anything about the rest of the game? LOL

# ¿ Oct 16, 2017 17:34

mcmagic: Jul 1, 2004; If you see this avatar while scrolling the succ zone, you have been visited by the mcmagic of shitty lib takes! Good luck and prosperity will come to you, but only if you reply "shut the fuck up mcmagic" to this post!

Jiminy Christmas! Shoes! posted:

My point is the Jets were Jetsy and spent two thirds of the game punting or throwing picks. Outside of the touchback ruling, nothing that happened in the officiating of that game was abnormal from any regular Sunday.

Your lovely team also spent 2/3 of the game punting, fumbling and throwing picks. You just got 3 critical calls from the refs that decided the game and the Jets didn't.

# ¿ Oct 16, 2017 18:05

mcmagic: Jul 1, 2004; If you see this avatar while scrolling the succ zone, you have been visited by the mcmagic of shitty lib takes! Good luck and prosperity will come to you, but only if you reply "shut the fuck up mcmagic" to this post!

Diva Cupcake posted:

Minus the lovely call, the Jets punted 4 times and turned it over twice. The Pats punted 4 times and turned it over twice.

Let's not get all LOLJets when Pats offense was equally as effective.

To put that into context, compare the skill players on each team. Jets deserved to win that game.

# ¿ Oct 16, 2017 18:42

mcmagic: Jul 1, 2004; If you see this avatar while scrolling the succ zone, you have been visited by the mcmagic of shitty lib takes! Good luck and prosperity will come to you, but only if you reply "shut the fuck up mcmagic" to this post!

What exactly do pats fans want? They want to continue blatantly being given games and people to just ignore it and pay homage to their greatness?

mcmagic fucked around with this message at 19:52 on Oct 16, 2017

# ¿ Oct 16, 2017 19:39

mcmagic: Jul 1, 2004; If you see this avatar while scrolling the succ zone, you have been visited by the mcmagic of shitty lib takes! Good luck and prosperity will come to you, but only if you reply "shut the fuck up mcmagic" to this post!

sean10mm posted:

This is what will happen forever anyway. It's the mainstream take now.

I mean, let's be real here. Whether they have a few more good seasons in them, or if they just crap out this year, will be a historical footnote either way. Any more winning the Patriots do from here on out will just make the rubble bounce. There's nothing left to do and nothing matters. Brady's the greatest, Belichick is the greatest, these takes are already the conventional wisdom everywhere and will never, ever go away. You can start rooting for a Brady-Belichick pedophilia ring scandal I guess, but that's about it at this point. Otherwise you're just yelling out the window at global warming.

It's all wasted on Boston sports fans, too, because so many of them can't really enjoy it. They're carrying around generations of dumb sports persecution complexes because they were only really good at baseball most of the time instead of the best at it almost all the time like the Yankees were. Seriously, 99% of their dumb poo poo is Red Sox-connected inter-generational brain cancer that's metastasized into everything else and made them crybabies no matter how good things are.

Brady and Belichick are going to be remembered as illegitimate cheaters and Trumpists if there is any justice in the world.

# ¿ Oct 16, 2017 20:59

mcmagic: Jul 1, 2004; If you see this avatar while scrolling the succ zone, you have been visited by the mcmagic of shitty lib takes! Good luck and prosperity will come to you, but only if you reply "shut the fuck up mcmagic" to this post!

Jiminy Christmas! Shoes! posted:

You know how most people lovingly talk about Ronald Reagan? That's how it's gonna be.

Well if people talk about Trump and his stooges in 30 years the way they talk about Reagan, I'm sure we'll all be dead anyway so we won't have to worry about it.

# ¿ Oct 16, 2017 21:25

mcmagic: Jul 1, 2004; If you see this avatar while scrolling the succ zone, you have been visited by the mcmagic of shitty lib takes! Good luck and prosperity will come to you, but only if you reply "shut the fuck up mcmagic" to this post!

Real hurthling! posted:

If the league let donny own a football team he might not be president. since kraft runs the league from the shadows its his fault

Kraft also donates millions of dollars to Trump. So there is that.

# ¿ Oct 16, 2017 21:59

mcmagic: Jul 1, 2004; If you see this avatar while scrolling the succ zone, you have been visited by the mcmagic of shitty lib takes! Good luck and prosperity will come to you, but only if you reply "shut the fuck up mcmagic" to this post!

Jiminy Christmas! Shoes! posted:

What kind of cognitive dissonance is involved to call out Kraft for that while being a Jets fan?

Woody Johnson being a moron doesn't make Kraft any less evil.... Also if Woody Johnson is a lecherous old creep, he does a much better job hiding it which is worth something.

mcmagic fucked around with this message at 22:49 on Oct 16, 2017

# ¿ Oct 16, 2017 22:32

mcmagic: Jul 1, 2004; If you see this avatar while scrolling the succ zone, you have been visited by the mcmagic of shitty lib takes! Good luck and prosperity will come to you, but only if you reply "shut the fuck up mcmagic" to this post!

Larch posted:

This is a bad thread.

A bad division deserves a bad thread.

# ¿ Oct 17, 2017 03:13

mcmagic: Jul 1, 2004; If you see this avatar while scrolling the succ zone, you have been visited by the mcmagic of shitty lib takes! Good luck and prosperity will come to you, but only if you reply "shut the fuck up mcmagic" to this post!

Jiminy Christmas! Shoes! posted:

He rationalizes it by claiming Woody Johnson is just dumb, not a bad person, unlike all the other billion dollar trust fund kids.

Meanwhile after losing his wife Kraft has the gall to date a 37 year old, so you can see how he's morally bankrupt.

Woody is a first class incompetent moron. He's not evil like Kraft is.

# ¿ Oct 18, 2017 03:38

mcmagic: Jul 1, 2004; If you see this avatar while scrolling the succ zone, you have been visited by the mcmagic of shitty lib takes! Good luck and prosperity will come to you, but only if you reply "shut the fuck up mcmagic" to this post!

CharlestheHammer posted:

Incompetent doesn't make you less evil somehow.

Look at Trump.

True but I haven't seen Woody actually do anything evil unlike Trump.

# ¿ Oct 18, 2017 04:17

mcmagic: Jul 1, 2004; If you see this avatar while scrolling the succ zone, you have been visited by the mcmagic of shitty lib takes! Good luck and prosperity will come to you, but only if you reply "shut the fuck up mcmagic" to this post!

Diva Cupcake posted:

Guys were running wide open all game. Too bad McCown isn't a good QB that could capitalize.

https://twitter.com/Connor_J_Hughes/status/920444754663542786
https://twitter.com/Connor_J_Hughes/status/920446056239915008

Having a bad QB is just the worst.

# ¿ Oct 19, 2017 01:16

mcmagic: Jul 1, 2004; If you see this avatar while scrolling the succ zone, you have been visited by the mcmagic of shitty lib takes! Good luck and prosperity will come to you, but only if you reply "shut the fuck up mcmagic" to this post!

evilweasel posted:

I'll take your word for it.

I meant a bad QB who doesn't know how to cheat.

# ¿ Oct 19, 2017 01:25

mcmagic: Jul 1, 2004; If you see this avatar while scrolling the succ zone, you have been visited by the mcmagic of shitty lib takes! Good luck and prosperity will come to you, but only if you reply "shut the fuck up mcmagic" to this post!

If you told anyone after week 2 that the Jets would have a better record than the Raiders a month later, you would've been laughed at.

# ¿ Oct 19, 2017 16:48

mcmagic: Jul 1, 2004; If you see this avatar while scrolling the succ zone, you have been visited by the mcmagic of shitty lib takes! Good luck and prosperity will come to you, but only if you reply "shut the fuck up mcmagic" to this post!

Jiminy Christmas! Shoes! posted:

The rest of their schedule though...

We know their playoff chances ended when the refs decided to give a game to your lovely cheating team. We know.

# ¿ Oct 19, 2017 17:29

mcmagic: Jul 1, 2004; If you see this avatar while scrolling the succ zone, you have been visited by the mcmagic of shitty lib takes! Good luck and prosperity will come to you, but only if you reply "shut the fuck up mcmagic" to this post!

Jets gonna Jet. What a loving despicable piece of poo poo game.

# ¿ Oct 22, 2017 21:22

mcmagic: Jul 1, 2004; If you see this avatar while scrolling the succ zone, you have been visited by the mcmagic of shitty lib takes! Good luck and prosperity will come to you, but only if you reply "shut the fuck up mcmagic" to this post!

Real hurthling! posted:

Skreene needs to get benched. He holds on every down and never turns to even see the ball in coverage

He played one of the worst games I�ve ever seen from a DB. This defense is a disappointment even when they make big plays. Reflects on the coach. Players out of position. Bad matchups. Penalties.

# ¿ Oct 23, 2017 00:37

mcmagic: Jul 1, 2004; If you see this avatar while scrolling the succ zone, you have been visited by the mcmagic of shitty lib takes! Good luck and prosperity will come to you, but only if you reply "shut the fuck up mcmagic" to this post!

Mulaney Power Move posted:

matt moore is elite

I've been saying that Moore is better than either Tannehill or Cutler...

# ¿ Oct 23, 2017 14:27

mcmagic: Jul 1, 2004; If you see this avatar while scrolling the succ zone, you have been visited by the mcmagic of shitty lib takes! Good luck and prosperity will come to you, but only if you reply "shut the fuck up mcmagic" to this post!

Amy Pole Her posted:

He�s nowhere near Tannehill. But he�s leaps and bounds over cutler.

That Moore INT was brutal though

He's much better at throwing airballs and letting the Refs bail him out than Tannehill is.

# ¿ Oct 23, 2017 15:32

mcmagic: Jul 1, 2004; If you see this avatar while scrolling the succ zone, you have been visited by the mcmagic of shitty lib takes! Good luck and prosperity will come to you, but only if you reply "shut the fuck up mcmagic" to this post!

Amy Pole Her posted:

Lol refs bail him out. Come on buddy - you lost that game because of an abysmal throw by McCown picked by McCain. No tears.

Run D was stout though

I mean yeah, that play sucked but the 125 yards the refs gave the dolphins also had some say in the outcome...

# ¿ Oct 23, 2017 17:03

mcmagic: Jul 1, 2004; If you see this avatar while scrolling the succ zone, you have been visited by the mcmagic of shitty lib takes! Good luck and prosperity will come to you, but only if you reply "shut the fuck up mcmagic" to this post!

Amy Pole Her posted:

Maybe the jets shouldn�t be bad at penalties

They actually weren't before that game but the NFL had to screw us 2 weeks in a row.

# ¿ Oct 23, 2017 17:40

mcmagic: Jul 1, 2004; If you see this avatar while scrolling the succ zone, you have been visited by the mcmagic of shitty lib takes! Good luck and prosperity will come to you, but only if you reply "shut the fuck up mcmagic" to this post!

Real hurthling! posted:

Nah the game never shoulda come down to that. They lost cause of well-deserved penalties and bad coverage on defense

There is a lot of reasons they lost the game but you can literally call holding on every play and the Jets had it called on them on every play in the second half.

evilweasel posted:

i thought i wanted to see the jets pounded into the dirt in every game, but this middle-of-the road thing so that jets fans are actually mad about their losses and have no shot at a qb is a lot better

The Jets know they need to get a QB this offseason if whither it's signing Cousins to an absurd contract or trading up, they will get a QB.

mcmagic fucked around with this message at 19:10 on Oct 23, 2017

# ¿ Oct 23, 2017 19:03

mcmagic: Jul 1, 2004; If you see this avatar while scrolling the succ zone, you have been visited by the mcmagic of shitty lib takes! Good luck and prosperity will come to you, but only if you reply "shut the fuck up mcmagic" to this post!

evilweasel posted:

you would think that but somehow they've ignored it for years, but even if you're correct the difference between getting a top draft pick that lets you get a QB without trading up and what you have to give up to trade up is generally at least another first-round draft pick so that's a big difference for everyone else in the division (none of whom, against all odds, will be the team with that valuable first-round draft pick auctioning it off)

signing cousins means you condemn the jets to an 8-8 mediocrity for the foreseeable future with no cap space at all like the post-giant flacco contract ravens because he's fine, but no more than that. i guess you could luck into a playoff run or two though, but he's never going to be a great qb.

If Cousins was the Jets QB this season they would win 10 games. Easily.

# ¿ Oct 23, 2017 19:16

mcmagic: Jul 1, 2004; If you see this avatar while scrolling the succ zone, you have been visited by the mcmagic of shitty lib takes! Good luck and prosperity will come to you, but only if you reply "shut the fuck up mcmagic" to this post!

evilweasel posted:

the jets have been surprising, but i'm not ready to believe the team everyone was confidently predicting to go 0-16 is real as opposed to being a surprise to teams that underprepared because it's the jets and to teams that didn't have good film because nobody (including the jets coaching staff) has ever heard of 95% of the roster

They clearly aren't for real. But that is because, like most other bad teams, they don't have a good QB.

# ¿ Oct 23, 2017 19:25

mcmagic: Jul 1, 2004; If you see this avatar while scrolling the succ zone, you have been visited by the mcmagic of shitty lib takes! Good luck and prosperity will come to you, but only if you reply "shut the fuck up mcmagic" to this post!

Real hurthling! posted:

I want to hear a pro jets announcer get an aneurysm on a bad play instead of a neutral commentator telling me i gotta hand it to so and so.

Jets New Announcer: Joe Beningo.

I would pay US dollars to have access to that.

# ¿ Oct 25, 2017 19:06

mcmagic: Jul 1, 2004; If you see this avatar while scrolling the succ zone, you have been visited by the mcmagic of shitty lib takes! Good luck and prosperity will come to you, but only if you reply "shut the fuck up mcmagic" to this post!

The Jets are just good enough to blow winable games every week.

They are also going to keep throwing McCown out there to go 4-12 or 5-11 for no reason.

mcmagic fucked around with this message at 01:48 on Oct 30, 2017

# ¿ Oct 29, 2017 20:21

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# ¿ May 15, 2024 05:55

mcmagic: Jul 1, 2004; If you see this avatar while scrolling the succ zone, you have been visited by the mcmagic of shitty lib takes! Good luck and prosperity will come to you, but only if you reply "shut the fuck up mcmagic" to this post!

Cousins to the Jets just got much more likely.

BUG JUG posted:

if they sign Kaep it would be great but only to listen to the absolute meltdown WEEI callers have, and how they struggle to talk about how Kaep just isn't the right fit and 'can't learn the offense'

Boston is a racist hellhole.

# ¿ Oct 31, 2017 03:39

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Football Funhouse > 2017 AFC East: Dolphins Circling the Bowles

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