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Chris Christie posted:Just postpone it so people aren't faced with the absurd choice of voting for a potential child rapist or voting for a candidate who will literally do the exact opposite of what they want. P sure you just described the 2016 general election.
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Nov 16, 2017 15:49
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Has someone made a script yet to scrape through his twitter and graph out his peak tweet times? I for one appreciate that we now live in a world where we can deduce the duration of the President of the United States of America's constipated meat shits based off his Twitter account.
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Nov 29, 2017 17:00
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That turn the lights on and off thing was faked. They admitted it themselves later. On the other hand, it looks like domalf has been averaging around 4 to 5 hours of sleep a night based on his twitter habits. No wonder he is losing his loving mind. I assume he just naps all day at Mar a Lago whenever he's not using his hand wedge to cheat at golf.
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Nov 30, 2017 19:17
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Hmbol at the thought of trump facing vetoing the tax bill, putting him in a monkey's paw situation where all he wanted was to just pass one bill to make people shut up and see what a big boy Prez he is, but the only one that makes it through the clusterfuck of Congress is one that accidentally failed to include all his lovely self-profiting tax cuts.
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Dec 4, 2017 20:02
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Place your TIME PotY related bets now: 1) Trump loses, blames failing TIME magazine. Says he never wanted it anyways and that it's overrated. Proceeds to rant about winner with childish insults. 2) Trump tweets before the results saying that he purposely took himself out of the running to focus on MAGA. Ignores the results completely. 3) Trump loses, says that the poll is rigged and fake news, and that many people are saying that he actually won. A year form now, says that he actually won in 2017. 4) Trump loses, but is told by aides that he won and believes them instead of official results. Posts a fake cover that was made for him for his 2x a day Feel Good package. Says all other covers are fake news. 5) Trump wins. Proceed to boast about it for the rest of his life.
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Dec 5, 2017 17:06
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He behaved last night so he was allowed to sleep in til 7, instead of waking up for his usual 5am toilet-shattering shits.
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Dec 6, 2017 16:59
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fridge corn posted:Why are ppl itt so obsessed with what Donald trump does in the loo. I mean I would expect as much from Jose but the sheer magnitude of it is really hosed up and weird imo Morbid curiosity of the weird and gross. Like going to a freak show. It's fascinating that for the first time ever the public can figure out with rough certainty when the leader of the free world is making GBS threads by checking his twitter post times. When he has a long series of raging tweets at 5am, we can generally assume that he had a big well-done steak the night before and he's straining whatever few muscles are left in his orange obese body to pass it. And since we now know he had to replace a toilet seat after breaking it, that just adds extra flair to the whole thing.
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Dec 6, 2017 17:13
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Shout out to the person that recommended the 1904 Olympics/Louisiana Purchase Centennial/World's Fair episode of the Dollop in this thread earlier. If the USA drops out from SK, we may have a repeat of that great event.  Im sure Pence will be happy if we bring back the horse that can count to 30.
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Dec 7, 2017 21:10
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I'm the glass of diet coke artfully hidden behind the glass of water designed to make him look like an adult rather than the drooling infant he is irl.
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Dec 12, 2017 20:29
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Tax Inductions posted:So what would it take to fix this? Is it just a matter of a new president appointing a new fcc dude and them reinstating the rules? Or is this one of those one-way ratchets and we're screwed forever? Maybe once all the olds realize that "the internet" also includes Facebook and pornhub, which they suddenly have to bundle into the cable bill to access, they will be spurned into acti-  no that will never happen because the orange president man said this is good so it must be good.
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Dec 14, 2017 19:29
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Someone post a transcript of his speech/remarks at the fbi. Seeing/hearing him on video is unwatchably painful, but reading transcripts is hmbol
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Dec 15, 2017 20:30
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hawowanlawow posted:bedwetting confirmed "By waking up a little early and having some extra sheets handy, no one's the wiser. Tomorrow: Destroying The Evidence" - Donald J Trump, President of the United States of America
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Jan 3, 2018 21:17
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My favourite part of Fire and Fury so far is where Hicks, Conway, Jervanka and Bannon teamed up to try and convince DJT to not go to the WH Correspondence Dinner, since he was convinced that he should go and that he would be just as funny and sharp as professional comedians. The dinner would be the best way to be loved/approved by the media like it did with the other presidents, and deep down that's all he really wants. Instead, they form a tenuous alliance and ship him out to bumfuck nowhere to give a tiny ego-boosting rally at a gardening tools manufacturer, and all the while he is asking Hicks for constant updates about the jokes being told at the dinner.
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Jan 10, 2018 16:46
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flashy_mcflash posted:Don't worry, tomorrow we'll know for sure when Trump is addressed by a very real, very qualified doctor who definitely isn't a doctor in the sense that a Subway sandwich artist is an artist. The SCUSA will confirm soon that a sandwich artist is a real artist and can express their art and preserve their religious freedom by refusing to sell footlongs to gay people.
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Jan 11, 2018 21:42
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The only thing people remember about Taft is that he was so fat he got stuck in the White House bathtub. Maybe Trump, who is so insecure that he lies about his height so that his BMI isn't "obese", is doing all this so that history is distracted from the time his fat rear end broke the Presidential Toilet???
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Jan 12, 2018 21:38
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Fake Newsies cancelled because Trump couldn't get the hot glue gun to work in the Presidential bedroom's outlets and the greasy paper plates he was using as a base for the trophies kept falling apart.
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Jan 17, 2018 20:41
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The only time the cat hides is under the couch. The best couch. Really. Ask anybody. Cats though? Not a fan. Not my kind of pussy, you know what I mean? I don't like grabbing em. A bit too furry for me. Ivanka though. She has one hell of a pussy. Not many people know that.
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Jan 17, 2018 23:02
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I lol when I think of trunp pouting in a tantrum as he writes out the thoughts and prayers tweet that Hope Hicks wrote for him, that he slowly transcribes from a sheet of paper where it's written out in big size 30 font for legibility. His homework done, he has the rest of his Executive Time to watch tv and go back to tweeting important conspiracy theories in all caps unintelligible fragments.
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Jan 24, 2018 23:05
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gimme the GOD drat candy posted:you can treat baldness but not on a scalp ruined by years of quackery, surgery, and quack surgery. His head is a combination of failed hair plugs, transplants, scalp reduction, and weaves. Pretty much the only thing he has left growing naturally is like a foot-long side mullet that he swoops around and around like a hair turban to cover the wrecked wasteland beneath.
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Feb 7, 2018 22:23
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at Ben shaming people who make fun of Trump's tiny baby hands, while in the same post repeating the wacky conspiracy theory that Michelle Obama is a secretly a man and the dress is hiding her massive swinging cock.
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Feb 13, 2018 22:25
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I wonder if trunp hates videogames because he licenced out a The Apprentice shovelware and lost a ton of money on it. But he should be used to losing a ton of money on idiot ideas so idk.
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Mar 8, 2018 18:44
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Groovelord Neato posted:i think it's weird she agreed to the nda and payout ever, you'd definitely get more than 130k for telling the story/sharing pics and texts/etc. Or she knew that the only way Trump knows how to "negotiate" is by drowning opponents in endless frivolous hundred million dollar lawsuits until they go bankrupt from legal fees and give up. By comparison, an easy 130k probably seemed like a good deal at the time.
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Mar 13, 2018 14:11
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Pondex posted:What does that tell you about a man? Lack of curiosity? Callousness? Plain stupidity? I can't figure it out. Like father like son? They both want to gently caress Ivanka?
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Mar 20, 2018 15:15
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I can't wait to see the before and after pics of trump after 3-7 more years of this daily nonstop winning. The times were rough on W and Obama, and just one year in we've seen our Biggest Boy put on weight and become visibly more saggy and disheveled. I can't wait to see what the future has in store. *remembering Trump's weight gave me a vintage lol of that military doctor that was forced to lie about him being 230lbs and in peak mental health because he circled the lion and drew the face of a clock.
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Mar 20, 2018 19:11
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Is the lawyer that quit the same lawyer that threatened to quit if Biggest Boy fired Mueller? I can't keep up with this cast of characters.
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Mar 22, 2018 19:21
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All this talk about the Presidential Penis, but what about his balls, and what the Chinese research chemical cocktail he uses to keep his hair from falling out does to them? My guess, tiny raisins in a wispy-haired walnut-sized sack.
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Mar 26, 2018 20:08
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Lol that President Big Business Boy doesn't understand what a loss-leader is. Lol that President Deals genuinely believes that "free shipping" by Amazon means that Amazon strong-arms the USPS into delivering parcels for free.
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Apr 3, 2018 16:49
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"50$/d market rate for a condo in DC" is up there next to "health insurance for 10$/mo" in Donny's brainworms' understanding of regular-people expenses.
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Apr 8, 2018 01:52
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Does Domalf Tramp realize that "Special Counsel" means something and that it's not just what you call your own lawyers? It's a rhetorical question.
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Apr 12, 2018 20:00
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WhyteRyce posted:I'm glad that that Georgia woman is going to be ostracized from her social circles like her bridge club and everyone in her town will whisper to each other whenever she walks into a room. Unfortunately it will be because she was arrested and not because of the things she said. Lol if you think this woman will face any sort of social/legal repercussions, and won't instead 5 to 6 digit gofundme payout from likeminded idiots supporting her poo poo. Like how any time one of those bakers, florists, etc refuses services to gay weddings, they immediately turn to crowdfunding, claim they are being harassed and bullied and losing their free speech, and make stupid amounts of money from chuds.
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Apr 17, 2018 20:41
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Damo posted:i'm really starting to get loving mad about his dumb rear end random capitalization At the very least, it's one of the easier ways to tell whether a tweet was written by him or by his staff. So we can always have a minor lol that he can't even be bothered to write his own ThoughtsAndPrayers.txt responses to the mass shooting of the week. That and, you know, the general disjointed brainworms style where he forgets what he is writing about halfway before he finishes he tweet. We
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Apr 18, 2018 19:07
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Smirr posted:he stirs Lol he wants to gently caress Maggie H so bad (sad)
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Apr 21, 2018 13:34
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happyhippy posted:Remember when Donald threatened someone to an IQ test lol. Remember when Donald boasted about acing a cognitive test that required him to correctly circle an elephant and draw the hands on a clock?
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Apr 26, 2018 15:44
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Also, Donald is buddying up with Kanye because he probably thinks it will get him access to Kenya and prove once and for all that Obama is a fraud.
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Apr 26, 2018 15:46
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What's the over/under on Trump not knowing what the word "amendment" means?
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May 4, 2018 19:48
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I've been unplugged for the last 6 weeks. Has Melania showed her face in public yet?
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Jun 15, 2018 16:28
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mono posted:https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/1009777520659652609 The Mititary of the great boarder state of South Carolina. 
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Jun 21, 2018 14:04
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Pussy Quipped posted:Still waiting for him to say the n-word on a live mic. I don't know that his brain worms can handle more than one topic at a time, so until he gets distracted by the NFL again, I think it's more likely he'll drop a hot mic slur re Mexicans instead.
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Jun 22, 2018 22:15
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Owlbear Camus posted:https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/1011212766487728133 Reminder: The President of the United States of America chooses to eat almost exclusively at fast food franchises because he believes they are the pinnacle of fresh food and cleanliness.
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Jun 25, 2018 20:35
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FMguru posted:One more from the smoothbrain You can always tell when our favourite piss baby learned a new fact that day when he tries to bring it up in conversation as proof of his extraordinarily high iq
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Jun 26, 2018 22:51
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