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Doing 10 over on the stretch of interstate in my morning commute. The trooper let me off with a warning, but he was looking right at my ID and didn't wish my happy birthday.  Thanks for reading about my troubles, friends.
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Jan 29, 2017 12:36
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| # ? May 17, 2024 17:51 |
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Stop right there, criminal scum! Nobody breaks the law on my watch!
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Jan 29, 2017 12:40
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my birthday is soon, and I hope my present is a painless death
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Jan 29, 2017 13:33
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Only break one law at a time, I guess you were too cute and whatever else you were doing
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Jan 29, 2017 13:36
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It's my birthday every day but I'm not short
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Jan 29, 2017 13:37
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Hardawn posted:Only break one law at a time, I guess you were too cute and whatever else you were doing i made it a point to turn on my dome light and put my hands on the wheel fingers splayed as he walked up, and announced as i was reaching for id in my wallet, and be courteous, basically the model bitchmade pulled-over guy.
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Jan 29, 2017 13:48
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why were you speeding
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Jan 29, 2017 13:52
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Ein cooler Typ posted:why were you speeding i was running late to work, and getting pulled over made me later it was a teachable moment about haste making waste
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Jan 29, 2017 13:52
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How fast were you going? Was he hiding like a gator? This is your work route and you don't know the hot hunting grounds of your local constables??? Hardawn fucked around with this message at 14:07 on Jan 29, 2017 |
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Jan 29, 2017 14:03
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Hardawn posted:How fast were you going? 82 in a 70. Thing is I been commuting this route since mid-June, and weather permitting have done 80 on that stretch most mornings without trouble. Not that I told him that, ofc. Now I am shook, and will start having to leave a little earlier. Thanks for your interest in my run in with the law, Hardawn.
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Jan 29, 2017 14:13
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should have acted like you pulled out a gun so that he'd shoot you. Shooting an unarmed man on his birthday, that would've shown him
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Jan 29, 2017 14:16
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Police Automaton posted:should have acted like you pulled out a gun so that he'd shoot you. Shooting an unarmed man on his birthday, that would've shown him if i could be sure it would lead to sweet oblvion. I'd probably mess up a suicide by cop and just end up making GBS threads in a colostomy bag forever instead.
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Jan 29, 2017 14:18
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That really sucks he made you late. Happy Birthday though. Here is a present to make you smile: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7V5Bbe0kfuU
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Jan 29, 2017 14:18
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Happy Birthday! Getting off with a warning was good though so be happy
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Jan 29, 2017 14:29
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work on a sunday on your birthday sounds like garbage city
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Jan 29, 2017 14:29
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NurhacisUrn posted:That really sucks he made you late. Happy Birthday though. Thanks, friend. I treated him with an almost nauseating amount of respect and deference, but sometimes it's fun to pretend like I'm puckish enough to have one over on the old constabulary like those rakish fast food guys. He was very professional in return and did not play the "meow game." Toughy posted:Happy Birthday! yeah i'm just being a big baby I'd rather no 150 dollar ticket and no happy birthday than yes to both. im pooping! posted:work on a sunday on your birthday sounds like garbage city with a 5 am start time, no less.
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Jan 29, 2017 14:34
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well someone has to fluff the collars
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Jan 29, 2017 14:35
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it's called the speed limit for a reason! don't you know you could have killed somebody!!! ive never heard of something so reckless or irresponsible in all my life!!!!! i'm going to haul you down to... oh, wait - i see it's your birthday. move along! and happy birthday!
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Jan 29, 2017 14:39
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drat dude that's one salty cop. Let me get this straight; the motherfucker looks at your ID, sees it's your birthday, and doesn't say happy birthday? You should have sucked his dick right then and there.
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Jan 29, 2017 14:39
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Pac-Manioc Root posted:if i could be sure it would lead to sweet oblvion. I'd probably mess up a suicide by cop and just end up making GBS threads in a colostomy bag forever instead. How's that a bad thing?
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Jan 29, 2017 14:46
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Sunswipe posted:How's that a bad thing? lol if you don't enjoy the satisfaction of a good dump the way god intended, chambered up in the colon and fired out the anus. Candlelight Virgil posted:drat dude that's one salty cop. Let me get this straight; the motherfucker looks at your ID, sees it's your birthday, and doesn't say happy birthday? You should have sucked his dick right then and there. he was pretty decent looking.
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Jan 29, 2017 14:48
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Pac-Manioc Root posted:lol if you don't enjoy the satisfaction of a good dump the way god intended, chambered up in the colon and fired out the anus.
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Jan 29, 2017 15:00
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Jan 29, 2017 15:02
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Sunswipe posted:But imagine the benefits: never missing part of a movie because you need to go take a dump, no getting up in the middle of the night, always got a bag of poo poo on hand in case you happen to see a celebrity you don't like. And you could still get the feeling of a good dump simply by being buggered by a well-hung man (or woman). I was reading a book about how dudes in camp x-ray and bagrham stuff would whore out their stomas to other inmates. That's super weird. Well the book wasn't about that it was about the gwot detention stuff but that was one little "fun fact." Thank you, forums poster ThaGhettoJew, for this picture of a guinea pig sniffing a dandelion. It put a little smile on my face, on this, my birthday.
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Jan 29, 2017 15:09
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The one time I got a ticket on the interstate I was going +15 and the cop specifically told me to keep it to +10 That was ages ago though and +20 is more my jam these days anyways
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Jan 29, 2017 15:16
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Happy Birthday, if you were going a little faster the cop would have given you a present
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Jan 29, 2017 15:17
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Pac-Manioc Root posted:Thank you, forums poster ThaGhettoJew, for this picture of a guinea pig sniffing a dandelion. It put a little smile on my face, on this, my birthday. You are quite welcome. "Fun fact" about that image, if you make an effort you can just barely make out a hidden swearword behind the dandelion as part of the message. That's a little "Easter Egg" for the eagle-eyed among us and sort of a special secret gift for you on your special day, champ! Stay safe out there!
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Jan 29, 2017 15:19
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as servants of the entropic void law enforcement is prohibited from celebrating birthdays. Happy Barthday
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Jan 29, 2017 15:22
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he didn't mention your birthday cause you are possibly over 21 and no one cares after that
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Jan 29, 2017 15:24
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I'm assuming you're a teenager since any adult responsible enough to get a job knows better than to speed. Your parents insurance rates are going to skyrocket now, OP.
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Jan 29, 2017 15:28
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I got pulled over because the cop was concerned my headlights weren't working. I thanked him and went on my way. Jokes on him I had them turned off on purpose so I could sneak around committing nefarious crimes.
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Jan 29, 2017 15:45
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Mozi posted:it's called the speed limit for a reason! don't you know you could have killed somebody!!! ive never heard of something so reckless or irresponsible in all my life!!!!! i'm going to haul you down to... oh, wait - i see it's your birthday. move along! and happy birthday! I've always assumed that it was more of a minimum speed and not an actual limit.
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Jan 29, 2017 15:48
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Maybe he only realized it was your birthday as you drove away and he's beating himself up
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Jan 29, 2017 16:03
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Better Fred Than Dead posted:Maybe he only realized it was your birthday as you drove away and he's beating himself up lol it'll be the first time the cops beat someone who actually has a gun
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Jan 29, 2017 16:05
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Pac-Manioc Root posted:Doing 10 over on the stretch of interstate in my morning commute. Sup birthday buddy. I'm headed to work in 15 myself. Gotta get paid, right?
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Jan 29, 2017 16:22
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Crash_N_Burn posted:Sup birthday buddy. I'm headed to work in 15 myself. Gotta get paid, right? Haha, yeah, gotta head to the ol' cube farm and keep everyone on task. Another year down and we're maintaining, doing the needful. I'm sure we thought we'd be astronauts or movies stars by now, but at least it pays the bills. Haha.  
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Jan 29, 2017 16:26
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Pac-Manioc Root posted:Haha, yeah, gotta head to the ol' cube farm and keep everyone on task. Another year down and we're maintaining, doing the needful. I'm sure we thought we'd be astronauts or movies stars by now, but at least it pays the bills. Haha. maybe you should've tried the nazi Nuremberg defense on the smokey
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Jan 29, 2017 17:09
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So, no happy birthday from the officer, but I'm guessing a certain naughty birthday boy forgot to swallow.
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Jan 29, 2017 17:23
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BigBadSteve posted:So, no happy birthday from the officer, but I'm guessing a certain naughty birthday boy forgot to swallow. Cop forgot where he was and forgot to say "hold the spit"
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Jan 29, 2017 17:25
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| # ? May 17, 2024 17:51 |
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wait, so the stripper i bought you didn't even dance?
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Jan 29, 2017 17:28
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