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Melomane Mallet
Oct 11, 2012

I'm bad; I'm just not born that way.

Rigged Death Trap posted:

In the Original DnD clerics wore heavy armor and used maces.
in FF1 Whiet mages could, in direct reference to TTRPGs of the day, can wield hammers.
There is no reason a healer should be delicate :getin:




VVV She's a FE axe unit. FE axe units kick rear end. They kick so much rear end.

I play D&D; I am aware of what those clerics are capable of; it doesn't mean people (myself included, since I never owned a WiiU and thus couldn't play this game) did not assume the gentle, non-combatant girl in a kimono was not a healer.

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Glazius
Jul 22, 2007

Hail all those who are able,
any mouse can,
any mouse will,
but the Guard prevail.

Clapping Larry
It looks like that armor could transform into something. I wonder if it's going to be one of the ad-libs you get.

Commander Keene
Dec 21, 2016

Faster than the others



Melomane Mallet posted:

I play D&D; I am aware of what those clerics are capable of; it doesn't mean people (myself included, since I never owned a WiiU and thus couldn't play this game) did not assume the gentle, non-combatant girl in a kimono was not a healer.
The problem with using clerics (or bards, troubadours, etc) in this game is the same one facing Fire Emblem Warriors; they're noncombatants. Noncoms in a strategy game where you have plenty of combat units is fun; the same unit in an RPG where you have a party of three would never see use. Thus, everyone included in the game must be capable of fighting to some extent, and healing is a secondary concern. Additionally, Tsubasa is already "the healer" and has several healing skills at her disposal, including multi-target and status cures, despite being modeled after a Pegasus Knight who has no ability to wield staves.

Lissa, in her appearance in FE Warriors, fills the role of your first axe-wielder as well as a staff-user, despite starting as a Cleric in Awakening.

Artix
Apr 26, 2010

He's finally back,
to kick some tail!
And this time,
he's goin' to jail!
So this is technically an excerpt from the next update, but it's kinda important and I wanted to get it out there now for poll reasons.



There's also this little nugget that's available to us. If you were paying attention to the Draug fight, you might have noticed that he dropped a Master Seal, and it does exactly what you think it does.



For the cost of one Master Seal a pop, we can promote any of our mirages to one of two advanced classes. This carries several benefits, including substantial stat boosts, access to unique weapons (and by extension, skills), and most importantly, a snazzy new dialogue portrait. We're going to be using Chrom as our example here, but the fundamentals apply to everyone.

Great Lord is the "standard" promotion, and the one that emphasizes Itsuki's Jack of all Trades nature. Stat-wise, it swings him from a slight physical bias to a slight magical bias, and this change is reflected in its unique skills. Several of Itsuki's [X]-Elthunder session skills are locked behind Great Lord weapons, as well as Maziodyne (which is otherwise only available on Itsuki's absolute final weapon), Mediarama/Diarahan and Healing Expertise. The crown jewel for Great Lord is the passive skill Aether, which makes it so that your attacks have a chance of decreasing enemy defense by 50% and healing you for 50% of your damage inflicted.

Conqueror, meanwhile goes all-in on making Itsuki a physical monster on par with Touma. It actually cuts your available EP by about 10%, but in exchange you get an extra ~15% HP and a full 10 points of strength and defense. Like Great Lord, Conqueror's unique skills play up this specialization, with the [X]-Slash EX skills, Thunder Strike (heavy physical electric damage), and Strength Amp being the main draws. And as a side benefit you get to turn Chrom into Walhart. I guess it's something?

Anyway, there are 14 Master Seals in the game, which is just enough to take every mirage through both paths exactly once. That said, I do not promise that we're going to get every single Master Seal, nor that we're going to double promote every single mirage. In fact, I'm going to say right now that we will promote everyone once before we start doing any class changing. So don't pull any nonsense like promoting Caeda to Wyvern Knight to grab some skills before we actually put her in Falcon Knight unless you're drat sure you can guarantee her that second Master Seal.

Seeing as we only have one Master Seal right now, it seems appropriate to start with Itsuki. I'm going to open this poll now, and do the actual promotion at the end of the intermission, so here we go: How do you want to promote Chrom?

S_o_S93
Jun 21, 2017
Gotta get that aether my dude

Conqueror is fun as hell but AETHER

Weeble
Feb 26, 2016
Both paths sound interesting; not sure which to pick.


Anyway, is anyone else now reading Tiki's lines and hearing her Warriors voice in their head?

FoolyCharged
Oct 11, 2012

Cheating at a raffle? I sentence you to 1 year in jail! No! Two years! Three! Four! Five years! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!
Somebody call for an ant?

On one hand i really want to have our protagonist turn into a villian only class.

On the other hand, if we can get him one of our second set of seals we can make wallhart, now with aether.

Kay Kessler
May 9, 2013

Great Lord now, reclass to conqueror later.

Rigged Death Trap
Feb 13, 2012

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

Voted Great Lord because those sweet sweet session skills


But go conqueror later.

ChaosArgate
Oct 10, 2012

Why does everyone think I'm going to get in trouble?

I’m gonna be contrary and say turn Chrom into Walhart because holy poo poo he’s a goddamn monster with that strength. He doesn’t even need the Great Lord’s magic skills with all that strength, not that he’d put it to much use as a Conquerer.

Jerry Manderbilt
May 31, 2012

No matter how much paperwork I process, it never goes away. It only increases.
chrom as walhart sounds hilarious, thus i vote conqueror

The Shame Boy
Jan 27, 2014

Dead weight, just like this post.



I didn't know you got Aether going down Great Lord path! Although i suppose given the game it's kinda obvoius isn't it?


But i made him a Conqueror in my game and i'm going try and force it in this one! :v:

Blademaster_Aio
Jan 22, 2017

Great lord.

No real reason, I guess, beyond the aesthetic.

And aether of course.

Kurieg
Jul 19, 2012

RIP Lutri: 5/19/20-4/2/20
:blizz::gamefreak:
I'm onboard with plan "Walheart but Aether".

Omobono
Feb 19, 2013

That's it! No more hiding in tomato crates! It's time to show that idiota Germany how a real nation fights!

For pasta~! CHARGE!

ChaosArgate posted:

I’m gonna be contrary and say turn Chrom into Walhart because holy poo poo he’s a goddamn monster with that strength. He doesn’t even need the Great Lord’s magic skills with all that strength, not that he’d put it to much use as a Conquerer.

This is exactly why you go Great Lord first. Grab Aether, then swap to the superior class. X Master Seals are story progression rewards (where X is how many people you get by the endgame) and grabbing at least an extra seal should not be a problem.

Artix
Apr 26, 2010

He's finally back,
to kick some tail!
And this time,
he's goin' to jail!
Well I went to bed and when I woke up Great Lord was ahead by 30 votes and a 70/30 split. I guess we don't have to wait that long after all.

TheGreatEvilKing
Mar 28, 2016





Is it too late to get on the Walheart with Aether train?

Also they don't do the FE promotion thing where if you promote too early you handicap yourself later, right?

CaptianKatsura
Feb 28, 2011

I'm not Katsura, I'm Captain Katsura!

TheGreatEvilKing posted:

Is it too late to get on the Walheart with Aether train?

Also they don't do the FE promotion thing where if you promote too early you handicap yourself later, right?

Nope, the only reason that's a thing in regular Fire Emblem is due to the limited levelups. Since this is a regular JRPG, promoting just gives you a nice stat boost. The only real way to hurt yourself is that there's exactly enough seals to promote to every class, so whatever you change to second will be your final class unless you steal someone else's seal (assuming you go out of your way to find all of them).

CaptianKatsura fucked around with this message at 21:01 on Nov 16, 2017

vdate
Oct 25, 2010
I can't help but feel any change to Dapper Floral Virion will be something of a downgrade.

Artix
Apr 26, 2010

He's finally back,
to kick some tail!
And this time,
he's goin' to jail!


And so we come to another intermission. Let's get the compulsory stuff out of the way first.

quote:

Itsuki! You've been doing great lately... And that's why I've prepared your third mission today!
You'll never guess who I got to coatch you this time! Go on, guess.
Of course, it's a secret until you get there. <3
You can start the lesson whenever it's convenient for you, so just head to the Uzume Lesson Studio once you're ready.



I'm Mamori Minamoto!
I hope you enjoy
"Microwavin' with Mamorin"!

quote:

Hello! This is Mamori. I heard you had a Topic account from Tsubasa, and she gave me your contact.
I hope you don't mind me contacting you like this. It'd make me happy if you'd message me from time to time.

Well that's sweet. I'm sure we can find the time to-

quote:

ITSUKI!!! You got SOME guts to start messaging Mamori without my permission!
Barry goes wherever Mamori goes!! If you ever make Mamori cry, there'll be HELL to pay! DON'T FORGET IT!!!

Why yes, he does literally message you in the middle of this conversation with Mamori. Barry's nothing if not consistent.



If it wasn't obvious with her mirage being Draug, Mamori is the tank of the party. She has a ton of HP (about 150 more than Itsuki right now, despite being three levels lower), a ton of defense, and...well, not a whole lot else. Her strength isn't particularly notable (it's about as good as Ellie or Itsuki, for reference), both of her magic stats are garbage, and she's pretty slow. She's also the only source of axe damage in the game, so regardless of how you feel about those things, you're stuck with her. :shrug:



Anyway, before we move on to sidequests we have a little business in the Bloom Garden. Draug's hanging out here, but he's not feeling too talkative right now. Kind of understandable, really.



For starters, we need to grab Mamori's radiant skills. Riberama is the opposite of Touma's Estoma, in that it jacks up the encounter rate for a while. Great for grinding, largely useless otherwise.



There's also this little nugget that's available to us. If you were paying attention to the Draug fight, you might have noticed that he dropped a Master Seal, and it does exactly what you think it does.



For the cost of one Master Seal a pop, we can promote any of our mirages to one of two advanced classes. This carries several benefits, including substantial stat boosts, access to unique weapons (and by extension, skills), and most importantly, a snazzy new dialogue portrait. We're going to be using Chrom as our example here, but the fundamentals apply to everyone.

Great Lord is the "standard" promotion, and the one that emphasizes Itsuki's Jack of all Trades nature. Stat-wise, it swings him from a slight physical bias to a slight magical bias, and this change is reflected in its unique skills. Several of Itsuki's [X]-Elthunder session skills are locked behind Great Lord weapons, as well as Maziodyne (which is otherwise only available on Itsuki's absolute final weapon), Mediarama/Diarahan and Healing Expertise. The crown jewel for Great Lord is the passive skill Aether, which makes it so that your attacks have a chance of decreasing enemy defense by 50% and healing you for 50% of your damage inflicted.

Conqueror, meanwhile goes all-in on making Itsuki a physical monster on par with Touma. It actually cuts your available EP by about 10%, but in exchange you get an extra ~15% HP and a full 10 points of strength and defense. Like Great Lord, Conqueror's unique skills play up this specialization, with the [X]-Slash EX skills, Thunder Strike (heavy physical electric damage), and Strength Amp being the main draws. And as a side benefit you get to turn Chrom into Walhart. I guess it's something?

Anyway, there are 14 Master Seals in the game, which is just enough to take every mirage through both paths exactly once. That said, I do not promise that we're going to get every single Master Seal, nor that we're going to double promote every single mirage. In fact, I'm going to say right now that we will promote everyone once before we start doing any class changing. So don't pull any nonsense like promoting Caeda to Wyvern Knight to grab some skills before we actually put her in Falcon Knight unless you're drat sure you can guarantee her that second Master Seal.

Seeing as we only have one Master Seal right now, it seems appropriate to start with Itsuki. I'm going to open this poll now, and do the actual promotion at the end of the intermission. As a result of what you, the people, have decided, he's going Great Lord - for now. We'll see where that takes us in the future.



While we're out and about, we also run into the guys Aya told us about. Let's see how their rehearsal is going.

:v:: Meow! Meow! Meeeooowww! Hiss! Oh, sorry... I was speaking in dog!

:geno:: You were?

:v:: ...Er, uh, yeah, you know the children's story "Urashima Taro"? About that guy who carried an axe and had a dog...

:geno:: Huh? I don't know of any story like that...

:v:: ...Of course you don't because I made it up! C'mon Aniki! You're supposed to yell at me! I'm the funny man, not the straight man!

Odagura and Aniki are supposed to be a Manzai comedy routine, which when it's actually working, has the funny man and the straight man trading jokes back and forth, usually based on puns and other wordplay. Aniki is clearly out of it though, so I guess we'll be taking another trip to Illusory Shibuya soon.

But first, we have something much more important to take care of.

quote:

Hey, Itsuki... Tsubasa's just awful today...
Please, you gotta come help me!! Come to the lesson studio ASAP!!!

Why, Barry's in need! To the lesson studio at once!





Alright Barry, lay it on us. What kind of awful things is Tsubasa doing to you?

:siren: This Negotiation Is Complete :siren:



If I don't get this one, I wont have them all! I can't concentrate on your lesson like this! You gotta lemme go! Please lemme gooooooooo!

Hrgh... Like I keep telling you, that would be a problem... Oh, Itsuki! Um, B-Barry is being unreasonable!

Oh. She wants you to do your job. That, uh...changes things.

What in the world's going on here? And, what's a Mamorin charm?

A Mamorin charm's a charm of Mamorin! Do you not even get that!? But the L.E.'s already sold out... Retail stores are barren wastelands too... This Goodman's a Sadman...



I can't just stand around here! ...Barry Goodman is off to Shibuya!

He's been like this the whole lesson too... He says he can't concentrate unless I let him go buy this charm...

I see...

This is a once-in-a-lifetime chance! Please let me go! Pleeeaaase!



I think we all know the correct choice here.

Please do your job.

Then... Then...! You go get it for me, Itsuki! If you do that, I'll continue with Tsubasa's lesson!

Itsuki...

I suppose I can...



Planned?

N-Nothing! Ahem, really!? You'll seriously do that for me!? I thought you were a kid with no hope of getting ahead, but you're surprisingly considerate!

Okay! This negotiation is complete!

Negotiation?

C'mon, Itsuki! Hurry up and get going! That charm is going to sell out if you keep wastin' your time here!

I'm sorry that you have to do this because of me, Itsuki...

Don't worry about it. This is all Barry's fault anyway.

So yeah, Barry is holding Tsubasa's lesson hostage until we get him a charm of Mamori. You didn't think they were going to drop that little bit now that his big plot moment was done, did you?

quote:

GET THEE TO A HEE HO MART! THERE, YOUR PATH SHALL BE OPENED ONTO YOU!

Yeah, yeah, we heard you the first time. Thankfully the Hee-Ho Mart is right across the street.



The game will occasionally send you to specific places to buy something or get an item from a shop, and in those cases it'll add a specific menu option just for that quest.

:siren: That's a Bummer :siren:



So sorry... That item's been flying off the shelves. We're all out...

Is there any other way that I can get it?

It IS a limited-edition item... That may be a bit difficult...

That's a bummer...

Hmm... Well, since you're a regular, I could let you in on some insider info.

Hm?

I can tell you about the person who bought the last one, but the rest is up to you. Oh, and keep this between us.

Yes, of course.

All right. It'll be easier to explain this over Topic. I can send the details there, so could I get your ID?

Itsuki exchanged Topic IDs with the employee...

Well then, please continue your patronage with Hee Ho Mart!

This, uh...seems highly unprofessional. But hey, not gonna argue!

quote:

Hello, hello!
Hi.
So, about the person who bought the Mamorin charm...
She was a woman with a great body in business attire and wore glasses...
But she nonchalantly came in midday to buy alcohol during a work week. I wonder what her job is...
That about sums up what I can tell you, though.
Thank you.
Good luck!

Glasses and casually bought alcohol during the middle of a work day? Well, we could go back to the office, but we're going to briefly dive into some cut content. This particular quest chain (at some point in development) had some other ways to get a Mamorin charm, so let's have a quick peek behind the curtain.

quote:

Welcome.

Hello...

...?

Uhm... Do you happen to have the limited edition Mamorin charm?

Uhm... I do, but...how can I help you...?

I need it. For... reasons. Is there any way I could convince you to part with it?

Hmm... Oh! Well, if that's the case... Then would you...sample the new menu item I came up with?

New menu item?

I call it...the "Yakisoba Latte"! You eat and drink it at the same time... Perfect for the modern customer on the go...

...

Is that all right...? If you drink it, the Mamorin charm will be yours.

----

>I'll take the challenge.

I'll take the challenge.

I see. Then I'll go make it now... I'll put plenty of whipped cream on top for you...

----

>I don't know...

I'm not sure about that...

Is that so...? I'm sorry... Then please forget what I said earlier.

I-I want to drink it... Please let me try it.

Okay. Then I'll go make it, quick... with lots and lots of whipped cream.

----

Thank you for waiting... here's your Yakisoba Latte, topped with plenty of caramel sauce and pickled ginger.

Itsuki downed the bizarre drink in one gulp...

How... is it?

Mmm... I think...you should set it aside. Indefinitely.

Ah... So it really is as I expected... I'm glad that I didn't try drinking it.

You can try, if you want.

Sorry, no... I don't want to put anything in my mouth that's not delicious...

...

Thank you so much... for your cooperation... Here is the charm, as I promised.

Thank you very much. You've been great help.

Please come back again soon... I'm thinking of making a new latte with... raw liver, next time.

:stare: Itsuki, no, don't drink the raw liver latte.

Anyway, the second one is far less interesting and I'm only really including it for the sake of completion.

quote:

...Hrm? What's wrong?

Do you have the Mamorin charm?

Huh? I do have it, but... what happened?

Uh... A lot of things happened. I have to collect all the charms...

Oho! You just love Mamorin that much, eh...? All right then, here! Take this.

T-Thank you very much.

I'm actually on staff for "Microwavin' with Mamorin." So I can always just say hello to Mamorin herself, face to adorable face! For such a passionate fan, that can only see her on the other side of a screen... I'd be happy to give this up.

A fan, huh... W-Well, actually, I-

It's fine! It's fine! As long as there are fans with your zeal, I'll keep making "Microwavin' with Mamorin" with pride! So please keep watching "Microwavin' with Mamorin"!

Good job random staffer, and thanks for your poo poo. Now, back to the office.

:siren: It's Not For Me :siren:



Ms. Maiko, did you recently buy a limited-edition Mamorin charm?

Yes, I did. What about it?

I have a favor to ask. Would you please let me have it?

Ah, about that... Actually, it's not for me. I bought it for Mamori because she asked me to.

She did?

Yep. I don't have the charm anymore because I've already given it to her.

I see... Do you happen to know where she is now?

No idea... But it may be a bit difficult to convince her to part with it. She was reeeally happy about it, after all.

Well, I'll try asking anyway.

Well, that uh...makes things a little awkward. Although, Mamori is a good girl, I'm sure she'll understand.

quote:

HEY, ITSUKI! DID YOU BUY THE CHARM!?
COME BACK TO BASE AND REPORT IN!

Guess we should go give Barry the bad news, huh?



Well, I was going to try and hunt one down from Mamori herself but if that's how you're gonna be... :colbert:

:siren: An Angel From the Heavens :siren:



*sigh* I'm so sorry that you're doing this for my sake...

Hey, Itsuki! The goods, man! Where are the goods!?

Yeah, about that...



But... I can't ask her if I can have it...

Uuuncle! Oh, Itsuki and Tsubasa are here too.



Ah, Mamori!

Just my luck. I was looking for you, Itsuki.

Hm?

Here you go! I wanted to give you this.

That's...

That's...!



Well, isn't that poetic. The whole time we were trying to find a charm for Barry, Mamori was trying to find one for us.

Thanks, Mamori. I'll take good care of it.

Mm-hm!



After all this nonsense, I don't think we'll be giving this up.

Sorry, but you can't have this...

Of course not! There's no way I can accept it!



Thank you for everything, Uncle! Sorry to interrupt, I'll be going now.



Um... shall we continue my lesson...?

Mamoriiiiiiiiiiii!



Mamoriiiiiiiiiiii!

Barry seems happy, so I guess things worked out in the end.

Um... My lesson...?

Mamoriiiiiiiiiiii!





I don't the exact increase in how much money you get, but frankly, does it really matter? The game hands out money like candy and seriously someone got paid to write the phrase "You were taught the art of finding joy in a shabby, undeserving 3D world." I hope that person has a long and productive career.

Artix fucked around with this message at 21:05 on Nov 27, 2017

hopeandjoy
Nov 28, 2014



Oh wow, I never noticed Ilyana is the waitress.

So I guess that's 1 and a half Tellius references in this game. Are there any other references to not FE1 or 13 in this game?

Junpei
Oct 4, 2015
Probation
Can't post for 11 years!

hopeandjoy posted:

Oh wow, I never noticed Ilyana is the waitress.

So I guess that's 1 and a half Tellius references in this game. Are there any other references to not FE1 or 13 in this game?
Some high-end Carnages are named after legendaries all around the series. Off the top of my head, there's FE1-3 ones, Judgral ones, Elibe ones and Tellius ones.

amigolupus
Aug 25, 2017

Well, that was both weird and sweet. Barry sure acts like a doting dad who's proud of his kid and wants to get souvenirs of their achievements. :3: Does the game go into detail on why Barry has a soft spot for Mamori? I'm just curious what makes him so devoted to Mamori.

And even in this game, Ilyana's only trait is about food. :geno:

W.T. Fits
Apr 21, 2010

Ready to Poyozo Dance all over your face.

Wrong Atlus game, Barry. You want #Millennials, try Arist's Persona 5 LP.

Also, I love how Barry's "scary, overprotective father figure" style threat is immediately undercut by his cutesy Dia Witch Iroha Topic sticker. :allears:

Shei-kun
Dec 2, 2011

Screw you, physics!
Well, gently caress. Itsuki exchanged Topic IDs with Anna.

Congrats, Itsuki, you will now spammed with ads.

Jerry Manderbilt
May 31, 2012

No matter how much paperwork I process, it never goes away. It only increases.

hopeandjoy posted:

Oh wow, I never noticed Ilyana is the waitress.

So I guess that's 1 and a half Tellius references in this game. Are there any other references to not FE1 or 13 in this game?

ilyana whipping up (and downing) uber sweet lattes and frapps? seems like she's living her best life

Blademaster_Aio
Jan 22, 2017

Shei-kun posted:

Well, gently caress. Itsuki exchanged Topic IDs with Anna.

Congrats, Itsuki, you will now spammed with ads.

Or super hot once in a lifetime deals.

Ometeotl
Feb 13, 2012



It's MISSEL! Or SISSLE!
I confused myself...



amigolupus posted:

Well, that was both weird and sweet. Barry sure acts like a doting dad who's proud of his kid and wants to get souvenirs of their achievements. :3: Does the game go into detail on why Barry has a soft spot for Mamori? I'm just curious what makes him so devoted to Mamori.

Don't pull on that thread.

Junpei
Oct 4, 2015
Probation
Can't post for 11 years!

Ometeotl posted:

Don't pull on that thread.

What? I see a normal (well, anime-normal) uncle-niece relationship.

amigolupus
Aug 25, 2017

Ometeotl posted:

Don't pull on that thread.

Whoops, yeah, I just realized that might tempt folks to post spoilers or or hints. My bad, it was just speculation on my part. :shobon:

Glazius
Jul 22, 2007

Hail all those who are able,
any mouse can,
any mouse will,
but the Guard prevail.

Clapping Larry
Aw, that was rather O. Henry of all of them. Good job, Mamorin.

AradoBalanga
Jan 3, 2013

Blademaster_Aio posted:

Or super hot once in a lifetime deals.
Given that next week is Thanksgiving here in the U.S., I shudder to think as to how Anna would handle a Black Friday sale.

Kay Kessler
May 9, 2013

AradoBalanga posted:

Given that next week is Thanksgiving here in the U.S., I shudder to think as to how Anna would handle a Black Frostday sale.

rannum
Nov 3, 2012

I used Mamori a lot. Her strength is just okay-enough alongside solid defenses to make her slow speed worth it and her specials are great.
Her attack animations are also great.

Too bad she has the most boring mirage possible.

Blaze Dragon
Aug 28, 2013
LOWTAX'S SPINE FUND

The turn-based RPG format should be nicer to her than the SRPG format has been to her class in FE in general. No movement to be crippled, no doubles to get destroyed.

Blademaster_Aio
Jan 22, 2017

Blaze Dragon posted:

The turn-based RPG format should be nicer to her than the SRPG format has been to her class in FE in general. No movement to be crippled, no doubles to get destroyed.

FE Fates has been pretty kind to knights too, giving them the skill that nullifies doubles. And pair up exists for transportation purposes.

That being said, being atrociously weak to magic is a skill they all share, and that's easier to avoid in an srpg than here, where the enemy can target anyone.

They both have pros and cons.

S_o_S93
Jun 21, 2017
Can... Can I have Anna's Topic ID? I need it.

Artix
Apr 26, 2010

He's finally back,
to kick some tail!
And this time,
he's goin' to jail!


Got the Mamorin charm!
Thank you, Mamorin
fans everywhere!



Now that we're done with Barry, we have business in the Bloom Garden. Our most adorable and perfect little sister has a request for us!



That's right, it's time to buy donuts.

:siren: A Honey...what? :siren:



Eh?

Big sister- I mean, Tsubasa told me about this donut that's sold at the Hee Ho Mart... It's called a honey-caramel-banana-chocolate donut, and I want to eat it!

I... I'm sorry? You want to run that by me again, Tiki?

A honey... what now?

A honey-caramel-banana-chocolate donut!

She told me it's a popular item that can only be bought in Shibuya! Even if they get shipments in, they sell out really fast, and people even sell it on online auctions for insane prices!

U-Uh-huh...

I wonder what it tastes like...



Itsuki, no! You know how those auctions go. Don't feed the scalpers, they were never interested in the donuts to begin with.

Really!?

You help us out all the time.

Yay! Thanks, big brother!

You said Hee Ho Mart, right? I'll go check it out.

quote:

Big brother! It's at the Hee Ho Mart, okay? The Hee Ho Mart! It's the honey-caramel-banana-chocolate-donut... Okay!?

I have a sneaking suspicion this is going to about as well as our last trip to the Hee Ho Mart, but who can resist the siren call of donuts?



Well, here goes nothing.



Ahh, I'm so sorry. We just sold out a moment ago.

Oh...

A high-school girl came by and bought every last one of them.

It is a popular item right now. I don't know when the next shipment is either... You'll just have to keep checking in with us.

quote:

Big brother! Did you buy the donut!?
Sorry, it's sold out... Looks like a high-school girl bought all the ones that were left.
I'm going to look for her and see if she could let us have some.
Really!? Thanks, big brother!

(Oh well. I guess I should look for this high-school girl and see if I can negotiate with her for some...)

Well, that went about as well as expected. At this point, we're tasked with finding the girl who bought all the donuts, and a bunch of NPCs have updated dialogue that basically just goes "Donuts? They're impossible to get, even when my boyfriend lined up super early." Ask around enough, though, and you'll find this girl:



:j:: No way, nuh-uh, not happening! There's no chance I'll let you have one. Not even if you gave me 1 million yen! I finally got my hands on one, you know? A girl with headphones was buying them all, so I begged her to let me have one!

That's not much to go off of, but we do know of one specific girl with headphones who likes to hang out in Shibuya... Time to pay a visit to the cafe.

(Of course, if that wasn't explicit enough for you, there's a more direct hint right nearby that girl)

:siren: Donuts. What About Them? :siren:



And you're... Tiki=Waifu, as I recall.

Yes, I am.

...

...S-So, how've you been since then? Nothing wrong physically?

No problems at all.



Wait, is that-

Donuts. What about them? Sugar is a must when composing songs. These looked so delicious, I bought all that was in stock.

So you're the one who bought them.

...Do you want some?

Would you be so kind as to let me have one? I'll pay for it, of course.

...Well, as thanks for last time, I don't mind giving a bag to such a kind person. It's not like I'm running low...

Itsuki received donuts from Tiki=Waifu...

Thanks. I really owe you one.

That won't be necessary. Please enjoy it with your family.



That's...a little less impressive than I was expecting, given how hyped up this donut was. Alas, poor Wii U, unable to handle the undoubtedly staggering rendering demands that such a donut would surely come with.

I should tell Tiki the good news...

quote:

I got the donuts, Tiki
Oh!?
Really!?
I'll bring them to the bloom palace, so wait for me.
Okay! I'll be looking forward to it!

Wait? There is no time to wait, Itsuki. These donuts are of the *highest* priority. To the Bloom Palace!



okay maybe not *that* important, calm yourself girl

:siren: It's a Solar System :siren:



Tiki=Waifu shared some of her haul with us, in thanks for helping her last time.

I see. That's so nice of her...

...Tiki?



Huh?

I have no physical form... It's so inconvenient.

...

Because I can't, I want you to eat the donut, big brother. If I watch you eat it and you tell me what it tastes like...maybe that'll count as me eating it.

That's...not quite how that works, but we're already this far in indulging a little girl. What's one more leap?

Let's try that. ...Okay, here goes.

*Gulp*

This is nerve-racking... ...Well, here goes.



If we, Food Critic Itsuki, are gonna eat a goddamn honey-banana-caramel-chocolate donut, we are going to ham it up as hard as we possibly can. The situation demands nothing less!

I'll try to add some drama to it. I'm sure that'll be more fun for you.

Okay.

...

Itsuki took a bite of the donut.



...Huh?

The honey, caramel, banana, and chocolate are planets interwoven in a vast planetary system. The impression that this one donut creates is a masterful ode - a space opera of pastry!

Ooh...!

I... I can't stop eating it...! My consciousness... unconsciousness... Both are sucked into a flavorful black hole - no, a donut hole!

...

B-Big brother!?

...

H-How was it!?

...It was amazingly delicious.

I see... Amazingly delicious, huh...? Ehehe, I'm glad to hear that.



:3:

...Just like I thought, the world you live in is wonderful! There are tons of fun things like the performing arts... delicious foods like donuts... different people... and, umm...

...Anyway, it's filled with tons of wonders!



:(

But you're not alone, Tiki.

Yup!

There were times I felt lonely before, especially when I was waiting for everyone to come back. I felt like I was all alone in this world.

But ever since you came and said that I'm a companion too, I stopped feeling lonely. This world might not accept me, but you and your friends did.

Tiki...

That's why I love the world that you all live in, big brother! ...So let's protect it, no matter what!

Yeah. I'll continue to count on you, Tiki.

Yup!



Tiki has become a "Virtual Empath" thanks to Itsuki's influence! She acquired the backup skill Performa_Finder.exe!

There's not a whole lot to this one, it just makes it so that you can get two Performas as session bonuses instead of one. It makes grinding performas marginally less terrible if you feel the need to do so, but otherwise it's not much to write home about.

Anyway, there's one other important thing we should mention, since it never shows up in the game otherwise.

:siren: :siren: :siren: Beastie Game :siren: :siren: :siren:

Beastie Game is, in-universe, a song written by Tiki=Waifu that caused both Tiki=Waifu and the TIKi software itself to explode in popularity. The game uses an instrumental version of the song to serve as Tiki's theme, but the full song never plays anywhere, which is kind of a shame? I'm not entirely sure if it's a normal song with an insane amount of autotuning or if it's actually produced with some kind of vocaloid software, but the performer credit implies the former.

Anyway, it's nifty, it's a good song, and it's here for your listening pleasure. Next time, we murder our ~feels~ with Kiria!

Artix fucked around with this message at 21:30 on Nov 27, 2017

Blaze Dragon
Aug 28, 2013
LOWTAX'S SPINE FUND

Artix posted:



If we, Food Critic Itsuki, are gonna eat a goddamn honey-banana-caramel-chocolate banana, we are going to ham it up as hard as we possibly can. The situation demands nothing less!

I thought Itsuki was eating a donut here. A weird as hell donut, but a donut nonetheless.

...It sounds kinda tasty, honestly. I'd test it out. Even moreso after Itsuki hamming the hell out of it.

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Rigged Death Trap
Feb 13, 2012

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

Pshaaaah
He didnt even burst out of his clothes in an imagined scene where he hurtles naked past the solar system and rockets into the sun which is also a donut from the sheer food ecstasy.

2/10

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