a secret contest that only you can win (weiners inside)

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Internet VFW > a secret contest that only you can win (weiners inside)

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maffew buildings: Apr 29, 2009; too dumb to be probated; not too dumb to be autobanned

Two Finger posted:

how's that navy career

Just step one in a series of escalating stupid military career decisions

# ? Feb 1, 2017 06:33

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# ? May 2, 2024 17:51

Comrade Blyatlov: Aug 4, 2007; should have picked four fingers

Kuroyama posted:

This man would lead us into chaos! Chaos I say!

hail chaos

# ? Feb 1, 2017 06:43

Syrian Lannister: Aug 25, 2007; Oh, did I kill him too?
I've been a very busy little man.; Sugartime Jones

Blood for the Blood God

# ? Feb 1, 2017 07:30

Naked Bear: Apr 15, 2007; Boners was recorded before a studio audience that was alive!

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

# ? Feb 1, 2017 09:26

Carteret: Nov 10, 2012

no gods no masters!

# ? Feb 1, 2017 09:55

Godholio: Aug 28, 2002; Does a bear split in the woods near Zheleznogorsk?

maffew buildings posted:

CONGRATS ON BEING ACCEPTED BY A MILITARY, A THING ONLY YOU AND ANY ONE WITH A PULSE HAS ACCOMPLISHED

even if you told them to get bent you're still a foreign Hobbiton sheep toucher

Now now, I've personally met billions of people who were totally going to be SEALS and Green Berets but got injured or barely missed the ASVAB cutoff.

# ? Feb 1, 2017 17:01

Booblord Zagats: Oct 30, 2011; Pork Pro

I feel like Shep is the only true american and godly candidate for IK

# ? Feb 1, 2017 17:30

Smiling Jack: Dec 2, 2001; I sucked a dick for bus fare and then I walked home.

so idiot king is like a temporary mod?

# ? Feb 1, 2017 17:42

Mike-o: Dec 25, 2004; Now I'm in your room
And I'm in your bed; Grimey Drawer

Booblord Zagats posted:

I feel like Shep is the only true american and godly candidate for IK

we don't need another grover, and no copgoons, calling other people "civilians" doesn't make you not a civilian. you jack-booted donut licking fucks

<3

WE NEED REAL MILITARY LDRSHIP :downs:

Loyalty
Duty
Respect
Selfless Service
Honor
Integrity
Personal Courage

too bad you're a cop otherwise i'd say we found our next idiot king

i'm being snarky in a joking manner i love you all so if any of you are dumb enough to take this seriously SMDFTB, because i know we're all window licking retards here, even me

# ? Feb 1, 2017 18:01

Naked Bear: Apr 15, 2007; Boners was recorded before a studio audience that was alive!

What's wrong with donuts? < :mad:

# ? Feb 1, 2017 18:29

bloops: Dec 31, 2010; Thanks Ape Pussy!

My first act as ik will be to probate all active duty military who post here. If they're too dumb to get out then we cannot trust them not to shitpost.

# ? Feb 1, 2017 18:57

MaxPowers: Dec 29, 2004

The Idiot King should have to do 5 pushups for every idiot probated. We cant have our IK a fatty imo.

# ? Feb 1, 2017 19:37

bloops: Dec 31, 2010; Thanks Ape Pussy!

PT scores should matter.

All USAF personnel must have a 85 or better on record.

270+ for Army.

Navy and Marines, the least retarded are qualified.

# ? Feb 1, 2017 19:40

MaxPowers: Dec 29, 2004

as per marine corpse tradition only 300 pft scores should count, anything below will be laughed at.

# ? Feb 1, 2017 19:42

EBB: Feb 15, 2005

somebody toss zeris out of his rack already hangover be damned

# ? Feb 1, 2017 19:47

SwampDonkey: Oct 13, 2006; by Smythe
(and can't post for 4 years!)

As per civilian/citizen tradition :lol:

if you still take a pt test.

:fag:

# ? Feb 1, 2017 19:47

Ceiling fan: Dec 26, 2003; I really like ceilings.; Dead Man’s Band

holocaust bloopers posted:

My first act as ik will be to probate all active duty military who post here. If they're too dumb to get out then we cannot trust them not to shitpost.

GiP without shitposts? Ain't no loving way you should be the IK around here.

# ? Feb 1, 2017 19:50

ASAPI: Apr 20, 2007; I invented the line.

holocaust bloopers posted:

My first act as ik will be to probate all active duty military who post here. If they're too dumb to get out then we cannot trust them not to shitpost.

I gift you my number of 23. You are the IK we need.

# ? Feb 1, 2017 20:17

Soulex: Apr 1, 2009; Cacati in mano e pigliati a schiaffi!

Naked Bear posted:

What's wrong with donuts? <>

Goddamn fat body pills is what they are.

# ? Feb 1, 2017 20:28

Mike-o: Dec 25, 2004; Now I'm in your room
And I'm in your bed; Grimey Drawer

Naked Bear posted:

What's wrong with donuts? <>

nothing, i love donuts :yayclod:

but i hate pigs lol

ban all cops from dunkin donuts imo

MaxPowers posted:

as per marine corpse tradition only 300 pft scores should count, anything below will be laughed at.

holocaust bloopers posted:

PT scores should matter.

All USAF personnel must have a 85 or better on record.

270+ for Army.

Navy and Marines, the least retarded are qualified.

don't you mean the most retarded?

also an addendum to my campaign:

ban all POGs fight me irl fuckers see what happens :madmax:

# ? Feb 1, 2017 21:18

Mike-o: Dec 25, 2004; Now I'm in your room
And I'm in your bed; Grimey Drawer

SperginMcBadposter posted:

https://twitter.com/mac_and_cheeks/status/826575437442674688
https://twitter.com/starfoxACEFOX/status/824539259981926401

also if elected i will round up all furries and put them into concentration camps for the final solution

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

# ? Feb 1, 2017 21:21