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ALGIP 01/17 SUBJ: CHANGE OF COMMAND, GIP DFAC GENTEXT 1. Pursuant to General Order 1, THONG, H.C. is relieved of command. 2. MON, J.T., EAS 020901, is returned to active duty to serve as OIC, GIP DFAC. 3. /s/ J.T. MON OICDFAC
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Feb 3, 2017 06:36
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This is my DFAC. There are many like it, but this one is mine. My DFAC is my best, the best billet. It is my life. I must master it as I master my life. Without me, my DFAC is chowless. Without my DFAC, you are dysenteryless. I must run my DFAC through water heated to at least 190 degrees. (Give or take) I must poo poo and not wash my hands, for my patron will not either. I must give him the shits before he shits on me to Zeris or the usurper EBB. I will… My DFAS and I know that what counts for 3381s is not the roaches we miss, the phlegm in our burps, nor the special sauce we add just for you. We know we will hit our E. coli counts. Gods, you will poo poo… My DFAS is inhumane, even as I am. Thus, I will learn it like I learned your mother. I will learn its waffle irons (broken), its Before Zeris, I swear this creed. My DFAS and I are the defenders of this thread. We are the masters of shitposting. We are the saviors of GiP. So be it, until victory is Trumps and there is no enemy, but peas. 
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Feb 3, 2017 06:46
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Due to the late hour and lack of logistical support, we will only be serving baloney and cheese sandwiches at this time. Change 1: Due to dangerously high blood pressure readings from some of our most valued patrons, we have been directed to achieve a command wide salt reduction of 200%. This will be attained by removing the baloney and the cheese from this evening's offerings. joat mon fucked around with this message at 06:56 on Feb 3, 2017 |
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Feb 3, 2017 06:49
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If dressed in proper attire, dogges are welcome at DFAC. Tomorrow's meal will be low sodium chili.
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Feb 3, 2017 06:59
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You must have the wrong building. Our perhaps you have mistreated my staff?
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Feb 3, 2017 15:22
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Pesticide20 posted:There it is, the DFAC, and it looks like there isn't even a line. Before I go inside though I better do a little extra PT to show the pogs how badass of an infantryman I am. I guess I'll run up to the pullup bars and do at least ten pullups with perfect form, plus one extra for the Airborne Ranger in the sky. Alright, here I go. It's OK, Airborne. On the bright side, the Bn emotion dietician says everybody's blood pressure's down enough that we can have salt again. How about some bacon?
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Feb 3, 2017 16:45
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Hillary Clintons Thong posted:i'm just totally guessing here and I don't know if anyone knows (wasn't Smoke Crack a cook for awhile then reclass?) but I just wonder if any cook unit sounds off with CHOW DOGS CHOW DAWGS! CHOW DAWGS! CHOWWWWW DAWGS! COURAGE! HONOR! OUTSTANDING WAFFLES! DEDICATION! ACCOUNTABILITY! WELCOMING! GOOSEBERRY SYRUP! CHOW DAWGS CHOW DAWGS >that crapy oorah that sounds like half of a brochitic beagle's bark<
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Feb 3, 2017 17:05
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Pesticide20 posted:I'll take the bacon, biscuits and gravy, French toast, and an omelette. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qaLMNsLR3RU holocaust bloopers posted:What do you mean I can't pay cash? I'll do you one better. Whip me up a full page ad for my amazing DFAC and it's on the house!
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Feb 3, 2017 17:36
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The folks on my pastry line. They work very hard. The hardest. They make cakes and snacks. The snacks are the best. The cakes are even better.  Effective immediately, all members will refer to staff of the pasty line as DEBBIE DOGS. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aMICD3aMZpw
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Feb 3, 2017 18:01
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Mike-o posted:IAW GENERAL ORDER 69, ALL DFACs ON POST WILL HAVE THIS PICTURE ABOVE THEIR CHECK-IN DESK The public display of pornography is forbidden within the walls of my DFAC. Leave it in the portapotty. But you're young. In lieu of preferring charges, YOU WILL SAY THE GRACE BEFORE DINNER THIS EVENING. GRACE IS TO BE IN THE FORM OF A 5 PARAGRAPH ORDER. DINNER BEGINS AT 1800 AND WILL NOT BE SERVED UNTIL GRACE IS SAID. IF YOU FAIL TO SAY GRACE, NO-ONE WILL EAT AND YOU WILL BE PUNISHED
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Feb 3, 2017 18:25
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Hillary Clintons Thong posted:guys my pupper is sick and I am taking him to the vet shortly everyone please join me in a prayer  May the strength of the Holly King May the perseverance of the Oak King and the undying Fir speed you to recovery and zzzzz.zzzzz. (Fell is old and naps a lot)
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Feb 3, 2017 18:51
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Dear valued patrons: Please do not eat any more of the bread, it may have been accidentally left out too long. There is no cause for alarm, any changes in perception are probably from the stress of this deployment. Of you have eaten the bread within the last 12 hours, please to not operate weapons or heavy machinery. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A0je9KuLHXI
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Feb 3, 2017 19:12
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Sorry, but you Magic the Gathering guys are going have to pack up and move back to the intel shop, we're consolidating again and need the space. Comment cards reveal that hygiene issues are better left unspoken and are damaging to morale. In order to improve morale and to get to know the new patrons coming from the fancier parts of the base, ALL PERSONS ENTERING THE DFAC WILL PROUDLY ANNOUNCE THEIR PRESENCE WITH A MOTIVATIONAL PHRASE OF THIER OWN CHOOSING. THE MOTIVATIONAL PHRASE SHALL CONSIST OF 17 SYLLABLES. Kigo is not required. Kiru is encouraged but not required.
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Feb 3, 2017 20:34
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SXWVpcypf0w Not-Chernenko looks kind of like one of today's players, who does not-Reagan look like?
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Feb 3, 2017 21:24
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Rad Lieutenant posted:I dunno wtf is going on in here but my drunk thread is closed 🤷🏻♂️ Christ on a Stick/Rama in a River! Finally someone who can almost count to 17! I'll call it artistic license. Booblord Zagats posted:Yer a When he manages to put his toast on the plate first and then the creamed beef on top, everybody in here will think he's a freakin wizard.
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Feb 3, 2017 22:28
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Mr. Lieutenant, why don't you have a seat in this room, over here. How would you like your steak done? We have a variety of entertainments for various tastes. Unfortunately, we cannot not honor meatstick-in-orifice requests. That one has already been ruined for us. Does that Coke need anything else? Rum? Jack? joat mon fucked around with this message at 22:55 on Feb 3, 2017 |
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Feb 3, 2017 22:47
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Rad Lieutenant posted:Makers and 7 my good man I'm sorry, this is kind of embarrassing, but the Makers is for patrons whose entering motivational phrase is 17 syllables or is motivational. How about this Jack Sprite? I hate to send you back through the rabble to reenter, would you just like another go after this drink?
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Feb 3, 2017 23:15
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b7uRxbl0Jzk
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Feb 3, 2017 23:24
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KP CONTEST CHALLENGE WRITE A GRACE (ANY RELIGION) FOR THE DFAC'S SUNDAY MEAL IN 5 PARAGRAPH ORDER FORMAT Mike-o's deadline for submitting a 5 Paragraph Grace is extended so that everybody else can enter. Except for Mike-o, all entries made are at NO RISK to you. There's no downside! The upside is that our most famous and revered KP, Hillary Clinton's Thong, has agreed to judge the contest. If your grace wins the contest, you get to decide Mike-o's fate - one day's probation or new KP. If Mike-o fails to make an entry, he will be probated and then begin his duties as KP. Grace Rules: Write the grace for DFAC's Sunday Meal! Grace needs to be written in 5 paragraph order format. Only SMEAC is required. Filling in all, or even any, of the sub-paragraphs is not required. (but could be fun) This grace is Pan-denominational. Say grace to Erzuli, God, Shiva, Jah, humanity, vogonity, your dead Aunt's big toe, Satan, Statins, Stan or Bruce Lee, manicotti, or who/what ever else shivers your timbers. Deadline is 0000hrs Sunday joat mon fucked around with this message at 00:21 on Feb 4, 2017 |
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Feb 4, 2017 00:17
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EVA BRAUN BLOWJOBS posted:Hope you signed this off with Zeris because I'm sure as hell not probating anybody for you. I'm sorry, was the lobster bisque not salty enough?
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Feb 4, 2017 00:44
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Better than Fox News. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XJyKTNdPL5s
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Feb 4, 2017 01:15
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SECRIT//NOFORN MEMORANDUM FOR: GiP REGULARS SUBJ: [U] Challenge / Countersign for 03 FEB 17 [U] In accordance with General Order 11 [S] The challenge of all persons on or near the DFAC shall be "What is best in life?" [S] The countersign of one so challenged shall be "I love a man in uniform." Classified by: J.T.Mon Declassify on:04 FEB 17 SECRIT//NOFORN (USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)
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Feb 4, 2017 01:22
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thetechnoloser posted:WHAT IS BEST IN LIFE
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Feb 4, 2017 02:41
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I am charged to be especially watchful at night and, during the time for challenging, to challenge all persons on or near my thread and to allow no one to pass without proper authority.
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Feb 4, 2017 02:44
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IN A LOUD, CLEAR VOICE, SLIGHTLY CRACKING WITH EMOTION AND RELIGIOUS FERVOR,Mike-o posted:I. SITUATION This is beautiful. I'm going to tape it to the walk-in fridge. The Breakfast Specials are: Bacon, extra crispy, and 
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Feb 5, 2017 15:01
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Following the ancient tradition that any good idea can be made better by making it mandatory, EVERYONE ENTERING THE DFAC MUST POST A PICTURE 1. You are only required to do this once. One picture covers you for all future posts. 2. Any picture is OK so long as you like it/it motivates you/you think it's cool/you want some. 3. More than one picture is good. Pics in more than one post is better.  I think it's cool that the Sgt. Chowdown archetype existed in the pre-Columbian era. joat mon fucked around with this message at 16:09 on Feb 7, 2017 |
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Feb 7, 2017 16:03
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Third World Reggin posted:
Newspapers - That and the flour water adds up to $3.25. How much did ACUPAT cost? e: beaten like a career KP
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Feb 7, 2017 17:45
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The spirits say, "yes!"
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Feb 7, 2017 19:44
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holocaust bloopers posted:Dang that's a butt Links to movie trailers don't count as posting pictures. Here, have a loaner picture: 
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Feb 7, 2017 20:05
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holocaust bloopers posted:Eeww eat my dick kp Every holocaust bloopers post must now include a picture of a Lockheed Constellation Or you can volunteer for KP. (USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)
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Feb 7, 2017 22:18
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The pics IK didn't want you to see:     nsfwhttp://i.imgur.com/SPYXQyx.jpgnsfw 
joat mon fucked around with this message at 04:27 on Feb 8, 2017 |
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Feb 8, 2017 04:24
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Date night of gin cocktails and painting: Give me a break. I haven't painted for art (class) since 1982.  People are hard. She's a lot better than me. Annd the power just went out. Good thing we were done with the painting part.
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Feb 20, 2017 04:14
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Seen at one of my local courthouses:
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Feb 23, 2017 19:11
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RIP Bill Paxton (Yes, the guy starting at :20)
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Feb 26, 2017 19:24
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EVA BRAUN BLOWJOBS posted:Yeah I have a pretty big floor to ceiling bookshelf that has been full for a while. It was either get a Kindle or another bookshelf. One of the nice things about the kids moving out? More space for bookshelves. 
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Mar 29, 2017 23:16
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EVA BRAUN BLOWJOBS posted:Can't take a picture because I'm at work, but I mock your puny bookshelves. 
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Mar 29, 2017 23:57
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DownByTheWooter posted:Tinder makes me feel like I shouldn't try to have sex anymore I'm glad I married before the world wide web.
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Mar 31, 2017 01:39
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Rad Lieutenant posted:Man I feel really out of touch with this new generation that's only like 10 years younger than me Your folks butt chugged wine, according to early 80s Penthouse Forum.
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Apr 2, 2017 01:31
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At least you don't have to deal with the taste.
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Apr 2, 2017 01:53
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Duzzy Funlop posted:One dude is obsessed with "Schweinehaxen", which is a German deliciousness involving pig ankle, so I've been trying to surprise them with it, but meat selection up in Flagstaff is absolute garbage. Weird. Any butcher shop should be able to get you all the ham hocks you want. I think the even the grocery store in our town of 1300 has them. (They have their own butcher)
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Apr 12, 2017 06:21
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