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*floats about aimlessly until abraham walks by* yo what up *thunders* "Yes my lord?" *says abraham* i have a deal for u "What is it?" we gotta make a mark on u for our covenant *chuckles with little bits of thunder* "What kind of mark? Remove part of myself?" *laughs with lightning* i was gonna say a tattoo or some poo poo but this is a better idea - I want u to cut off part of ur dick lmao "Okay." *snips, OT god goes laffo* and heh the most important thing is that all ur male descendants should also cut off parts of their dicks hahahahaha "And we get protection in return?" *ot god laughs harder* sure sure whatever haha *ot god zooms off to egypt, cosplays as amun-ra* hay guys I think u will need slaves soon!!
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Feb 4, 2017 22:50
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*looks into the future for a sec* uh yeah tell em no gays or polyester also hit your wife if shes a bitch
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Feb 4, 2017 22:51
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 Let's have a conversation about Job.
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Feb 4, 2017 22:54
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*teleports a snake up Job's butt and laughs about it with Satan as he waits to see who wins the bet*
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Feb 4, 2017 22:55
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Circumcised dicks are much better than turtlenecks. That's my opinion on dicks.
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Feb 4, 2017 22:55
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ProfessorMurder posted:Circumcised dicks are much better than turtlenecks. That's my opinion on dicks. A E S T H E T I C 👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻
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Feb 4, 2017 23:07
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hmm guy loving a goat ya i can get down on that (turns into a fly and ignores whatever atrocities are going down in his name)
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Feb 4, 2017 23:10
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here's what i'm thinking okay, which is, what i want is a gold box, with eagles and stuff, and make it plush, because i'm gonna live in there from now on
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Feb 4, 2017 23:11
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hungry? check this (throws a bunch of crappy loaves out of heaven) ya you bet i coulda done that any time i want but you only get the crappy bread
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Feb 4, 2017 23:15
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"my dad says i can only play for like an hour a day, but when he's not home, i go down there and screw around til dinnertime. yall wanna see?" (god lets all his friends go down and be zeus and stuff)
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Feb 4, 2017 23:16
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ProfessorMurder posted:Circumcised dicks are much better than turtlenecks. That's my opinion on dicks. Uhh not all intact weiners are like that
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Feb 4, 2017 23:20
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*floods stuff*
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Feb 4, 2017 23:20
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*salt*
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Feb 4, 2017 23:21
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Psycho Society posted:Uhh not all intact weiners are like that Sorry, I just prefer the cleaner, sexier look of a cut man
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Feb 4, 2017 23:21
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*watches chicks bathe in rivers*
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Feb 4, 2017 23:24
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The Bananana posted:*watches chicks bathe in rivers* My summer plans
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Feb 4, 2017 23:27
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* rubs the ancient lamp * * summons a bad rear end genie * * defeats an evil vizier-genie then marries the princess *
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Feb 4, 2017 23:31
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Candlelight Virgil posted:* rubs the ancient lamp * sick that's like a tuesday
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Feb 4, 2017 23:36
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(diversifies myself into every form of matter, all beings and phenomena, consciousness and the entire history of the universe from start to end) (still bets on Atlanta tomrorow... is a terrible gambler tbh)
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Feb 4, 2017 23:37
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*gets tired after doing stuff*
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Feb 4, 2017 23:42
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*creates a chick with a bangin rack out of dust* *jacks off*
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Feb 4, 2017 23:44
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Take those ugly rear end sandals off before you approach my fantastic sexy rear end bush, be romantic, poo poo!
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Feb 4, 2017 23:46
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*is sleeping in the clouds* *wakes up at the sound of homosexual grunting* *scrunches up face and throws a lightning bolt to smite them, goes back to sleep*
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Feb 4, 2017 23:48
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* gets drunk *
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Feb 4, 2017 23:48
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* floods all the lands *
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Feb 4, 2017 23:49
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verily wilst thou, noah, my faithful, have some hot rear end daughters who will totally do you, lol just sign this contract here that gives me full AV rights, ya, there on the line
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Feb 4, 2017 23:50
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* lives inside a whale's nutsack *
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Feb 4, 2017 23:52
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check it out it's a website i invented called rotten dot com well i mean i'm gonna hve one of my peeps invent it in about 3000 years, anyways, check it out, they're gonna show your mummified rear end on there to thirteen year olds lmbo
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Feb 5, 2017 00:13
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yo check this out satan imma totally turn this chick into salt
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Feb 5, 2017 00:16
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poo poo is that the cops? (presses panic button on sodom and gomorrah)
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Feb 5, 2017 00:18
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thousands of years from now the designers behind the baggage claim at the denver international airport will stand in judgement before me and i shall send them to hell because it looks like a phallus in aerial photographs
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Feb 5, 2017 00:22
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god: *compiles list of ten things humans love to do all day every day* st peter: sir, your 11 o clock on sinai with a mr moses is coming up fast, do you need me to reschedule? god: nope just finishing up now lol
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Feb 5, 2017 00:26
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(spills milk on my ham sandwich) fuckin... NEVER AGAIN
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Feb 5, 2017 00:27
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*proclaims sharia law*
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Feb 5, 2017 01:08
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nomadologique posted:(spills milk on my ham sandwich) Lol
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Feb 5, 2017 01:35
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*gets dunked on by JUPITER, PROTECTOR OF MIGHTY ROME* 
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Feb 5, 2017 01:49
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Needs constant adornment and praise and sacrifice, or I get fuuuuuh-sssssssssy
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Feb 5, 2017 01:52
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Strategic Tea posted:*gets dunked on by JUPITER, PROTECTOR OF MIGHTY ROME* *converts the romans*
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Feb 5, 2017 02:03
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I'm going to have Moses and friends wander the desert for 40 years while I watch them try to figure where the hell they're supposed to go lol
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Feb 5, 2017 02:06
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| # ? Apr 30, 2024 13:10 |
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maybe i shouldn't have been so hard on job.... eh
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Feb 5, 2017 02:51
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