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I hope they have this in stock.
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Mar 3, 2017 00:08
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| # ¿ May 9, 2024 21:01 |
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500 good dogs posted:you still sober little buddy? I'm on day 4.  My schedule has already basically reversed again. I woke up in the morning (well, AM at least) yesterday and even earlier today. With my extra meds I'm not feeling sick. Made one dr appointment and have another today. I'm horribly depressed and now my brain has to see reality so that whole deal sucks. That's pretty standard though. Basically, so far so good.
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Mar 3, 2017 16:42
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Oscar Wild posted:Wishing you the best. Hope the depression moves on. Alcohol won't help that. Oh that depression ain't moving on. Had it since I was around 13 or so and it's only gotten more severe over the years. I have a few other not-so-fun diagnoses as well. I've heard that alcohol is the single worst thing you can do when you are bipolar so uh...... yeah. Thank you though for your concern. I really need to do this.
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Mar 3, 2017 18:57
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Hmmm, something that isn't helping is that I kinda poured out WAY too much information to you guys and since you are all weird internet people I'm a bit nervous. I don't want any sort of doxxing or anything. This was all probably a pretty bad decision.  I am a completely normal person if you were to meet me and you wouldn't be able to tell a thing. Hell, most people find me quite nice and fun! Ah well. Too late now.
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Mar 3, 2017 19:01
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I don't know. After hiding all of this stuff for for 10 years everything kind of blew up and I wasn't as ashamed and then I think I started oversharing everything. I try not to in person anymore but it's difficult for some reason. I really didn't want to hijack this thread. I'm sure other people have problems as well but again, I think I just overshared. Glad to see people not doing the usual GBS "you're gay" thing though. It's not often that happens. 
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Mar 3, 2017 23:19
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Day 5. I think the physical withdrawals are over now. On to the mental withdrawals for the indefinite future. I used to be smart or something so I'm kind of looking forward to regaining some cognitive ability. But with that comes even more pessimism and terrible anger about existence, etc. Oh well, one day at a time. My goal is 6 months. I will certainly fail. Thanks again GBS.
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Mar 5, 2017 01:34
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This is probably good advice.
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Mar 5, 2017 09:37
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I bought a big rear end model rocket and a Ka-50 Russian helicopter (from the DCS game  ). Going to force myself into a hobby to see if something clicks again.Sorry again for bumping this. Come on, someone else has to be a raging alcoholic loser who wants to quit too. This is like my personal log now.
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Mar 5, 2017 23:41
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I'm reparing some older models that some pieces fell off during the move to my house. Hands are shakey as poo poo and it's taking a long time to do some simple things. Putting tiny rockets on the rails of a Corsair is killing me. The rails are less than the size of a grain of rice. Maybe with practicing this my hands might settle down a bit.
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Mar 6, 2017 01:26
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Yeah I'm not going to try to get too hung up on the days. Just for the first while I'd like to see my progress.
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Mar 7, 2017 01:26
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I had a (probably bad) idea. I have one of those handheld weed vaporizers and I save the refuse. I don't smoke much but have been since I quit drinking. Anyway, my friend gave me his coffee grinder for his stuff and I turned the leftover stuff into powder and capped them. I took maybe 3 yesterday and had a nice low grade high that rolled in gently so I didn't get super paranoid. Paranoia is bad when you are drinking to numb everything. Anyway, I'm wondering if I just take one pill, I won't get high at all but might be a little more relaxed throughout the entire day. The unfortunate part (really) is that I'd have to smoke a ton of weed in order to make these capsules. That would be awesome if the VA just sent me some weed pills as a medication. Oh, day 8 btw. edit: yeah I know trading one drug for another is bad but come on, it's weed. My doctors/therapists ask me if I'm doing drugs all the time and I say "well just weed" and they're like  oh ok, I meant real drugs.
Pennywise the Frown fucked around with this message at 17:56 on Mar 7, 2017 |
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Mar 7, 2017 17:53
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DGSW. Tell me how to get high on life. I'm certain you are a life loving individual.
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Mar 7, 2017 18:08
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dad gay. so what posted:find a higher power, OP No. edit: wait, I'm not the OP, I just accidentally hijacked the thread, nm
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Mar 7, 2017 18:14
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dad gay. so what posted:Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path. Those who do not recover are people who cannot or will not completely give themselves to this simple program, usually men and women who are constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves*. There are such unfortunates. They are not at fault; they seem to have been born that way. They are naturally incapable of grasping and developing a manner of living which demands rigorous honesty. Their chances are less than average. There are those, too, who suffer from grave emotional and mental disorders, but many of them do recover if they have the capacity to be honest. I like SMART better. It doesn't have any stupid rules a "you are worthless and you need to do these steps or you will be an alcoholic forever, or literally the Christian god even though they absolutely and vehemently say that it isn't even though they pray to god all the time and their books literally reference god all the time. SMART is cool. Also, I'm WAY honest with myself. I'm very self aware. Probably too much that it is a horrible detriment to me.
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Mar 7, 2017 18:39
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dad gay. so what posted:so aware that you are substituting one drug for another even though you are an admitted addict A self aware idiot who literally admitted that already. (the edit was before you posted) I had a (probably bad) idea. I have one of those handheld weed vaporizers and I save the refuse. I don't smoke much but have been since I quit drinking. Anyway, my friend gave me his coffee grinder for his stuff and I turned the leftover stuff into powder and capped them. I took maybe 3 yesterday and had a nice low grade high that rolled in gently so I didn't get super paranoid. Paranoia is bad when you are drinking to numb everything. Anyway, I'm wondering if I just take one pill, I won't get high at all but might be a little more relaxed throughout the entire day. The unfortunate part (really) is that I'd have to smoke a ton of weed in order to make these capsules. That would be awesome if the VA just sent me some weed pills as a medication. Oh, day 8 btw. edit: yeah I know trading one drug for another is bad but come on, it's weed. My doctors/therapists ask me if I'm doing drugs all the time and I say "well just weed" and they're like oh ok, I meant real drugs.
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Mar 7, 2017 18:43
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dad gay. so what posted:so aware that you are substituting one drug for another even though you are an admitted addict A self aware idiot who literally admitted that already. (the edit was before you posted) Pennywise the Frown posted:edit: yeah I know trading one drug for another is bad but come on, it's weed. My doctors/therapists ask me if I'm doing drugs all the time and I say "well just weed" and they're like vvvv Sorry I formatted my post badly and fixed it.
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Mar 7, 2017 18:44
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^^^^ not soon enough I'm telling myself that I'm using it as a stopgap, but at night when I actually am high I always wonder WHY I'm doing that in the first place. It's a struggle.
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Mar 7, 2017 18:46
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Sorry for not going along with you dad gay but I don't subscribe to AA and don't like people telling me I need it. I appreciate your help though. Seriously.
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Mar 7, 2017 18:48
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dad gay. so what posted:i know its just sad to see that you havent hit your bottom yet. hopefully it will be before you are dead, but if not who gives a poo poo Oh no. I've hit bottom. Trust me. Like seriously, suicide is about as bottom as you can get. I'm just constantly trying to work upwards and onwards.
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Mar 7, 2017 18:51
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dad gay. so what posted:you still have a computer or posting device so i would say there are some depths to mined yet Like I said. I already hit it and I'm moving up. Waking up thinking you are dead (due to trying to kill yourself) is pretty low. There are always huge troughs though. Having a broken brain is quite the hindrance though when combined with substances.
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Mar 7, 2017 19:01
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Well I guess being homeless, not able to afford alcohol, and not having the ability to kill myself would be true rock bottom.
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Mar 7, 2017 19:04
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dad gay. so what posted:ya you should work the steps, white-knuckling it is miserable and a recipe for failure and for us to drink/use is to die Well as I said I really like SMART recovery. They have tons of tools and online and in person discussion meetings..... but there is a catch. You actually have to do the homework. 
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Mar 7, 2017 19:05
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dad gay. so what posted:you could be a vegetable or be otherwise incapacitated yet still have some minimal brain function Eh, yeah that would suck pretty bad. Also, I never congratulated you for getting your poo poo together. Obviously not there yet, you are still a poo poo poster, but you are making progress and you deserve praise for your efforts.
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Mar 7, 2017 19:07
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Don't do it! I'm on day 8 and the only thing keeping me going is Something Awful poster dad gay. so what going.
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Mar 7, 2017 19:23
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ROFL Octopus posted:I recommend Rational Recovery pennywise. It doesn't have anything to do with a higher power or whatever garbo, and while it does place the blame squarely on you for your drinking, it also gives you enough credit that you alone are enough to stop drinking That's exactly what SMART is like. Yeah, I'm the only one who can change my drinking because I'm the one doing it and I'm the one that chooses to do it. Weird concept eh?
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Mar 7, 2017 22:22
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dad gay. so what posted:better men than you have tried and failed by relying on their self-will. you cant fix a hosed up brain with a hosed up brain, dipshit Here's a secret. You were the one that quit. No one can quit for you. 
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Mar 7, 2017 23:05
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dad gay. so what posted:lol my sobriety is a gift from god you stupid rear end in a top hat Well, you got me. So what prayer do I say or what meeting do I go to so that I quit?
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Mar 7, 2017 23:16
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dad gay. so what posted:its in the book around the step 11 part Ok I'll just skip right to step 11. From recovery.org " 11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God, as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out. Step 10 requires you to commit to some kind of spiritual practice. That practice could be anything from prayer, to meditation, to reading scripture." poo poo.
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Mar 7, 2017 23:19
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^^^ well poo poo, that sounds even more religious than the step title I didn't know there were areas. I just thought there were steps since they're called the 12 steps. But I think the Step 11 sums it up just fine for me. You're being a meanie. I don't want to drink right now and I don't want AA. I want to be friends.
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Mar 7, 2017 23:26
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If you were to sponsor me I have a feeling I'd be wrapped around a telephone pole in record time.
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Mar 7, 2017 23:28
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Bruce Boxlicker posted:Did you ever consider perhaps just replacing "god" with "yourself"? You really seem to be getting hung up on semantics. This is true. I guess it's the principle of the thing. Yeah, I can say these magic words and change them to whatever I want, but then what's the point at all.
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Mar 7, 2017 23:30
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dad gay. so what posted:im just trying to help - ill take this back up later i need to go to the gym and then an AA meeting I appreciate it. Have fun BFF. 
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Mar 7, 2017 23:30
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Bruce Boxlicker posted:/\/\/\/\/\/\ Well no. That would make sense.
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Mar 7, 2017 23:34
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edit:^^^^ I'm on an antidepressant soon to be two, one mood stabilizers, one anti-anxiety, and one antipsychotic. What I'm doing is very dumb. I've been working on the underlying problems weekly with a therapist and psychiatrist for a few years. I do drink to self medicate, but it's stupid because the drinking probably counteracts all of the meds I'm on, so I want to continue drinking because they aren't doing anything. Try to follow my logic here guys (there isn't any). Well at least I'm self aware enough to know I'm a loving moron. That's a good start. And thanks CaptainSarcastic. The first few days were bad. Now I feel better but am a bit off the wall emotionally.... well more than your standard bipolar person is. I know I shouldn't use the weed as a crutch and I'm already starting to scale that back. As in, not smoke as much as I drink thinking that I'll get more and more hosed up. But rather having a few hits instead of a few bowls. These aren't excuses or anything, I'm laying it all out right here and I'm aware of it. Babby steps. Pennywise the Frown fucked around with this message at 02:43 on Mar 8, 2017 |
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Mar 8, 2017 02:37
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Tolkien minority posted:i aint lyin start doing fat lines of k youll feel real good till you run out of money https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q0KZvMe6u9g&t=15s
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Mar 8, 2017 16:42
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500 good dogs posted:did you fall off the wagon already dgsw or are you just crazy Probably the latter. But I'm pretty sure he means well so that's ok in my book.
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Mar 8, 2017 16:47
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TheSpamalope posted:He's hosed in the head but you don't have to be an rear end in a top hat to him That's literally what I said in my quote. But you said it in a mean way. Rude.
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Mar 8, 2017 17:21
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satanic splash-back posted:I really like coffee, so I understand addiction. Let me tell you about the day I tried to stop drinking coffee! Oh no. Are you that person on facebook whose every other post is something about killing someone if they don't get their coffee or something about how they can't deal with xyz without coffee or whatever? I have one of those.It's ok man. We're all in this together.
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Mar 8, 2017 17:26
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Hardawn posted:I always got the most out of the mindfulness side classes than an actual AA meeting. But all the meetings I went too were masturbatory. Doing the steps with someone one on one was more helpful The VA is really pushing mindfulness now. The VA is also quite slow on adapting treatments so they only do things that have real evidence behind them..... a few years after it's been proven. So yeah, that's something I am going to be working on with my therapist after I hopefully get stabilized some day. I'm reading about it as well. Not everything can be fixed by a pill (or a fistful in my case) and you really need to do the work on your own. That's the hard part when you have a broken brain. Anyway, that's good advice.
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Mar 8, 2017 19:58
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| # ¿ May 9, 2024 21:01 |
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Day 10 in the works. I'm starting to do stuff again. Just little stuff like leaving the house for breakfast or something. Taking my benzos now that I'm not drinking is probably helping with that. I am still posting more in GBS than I ever have before though and that's usually a sign of depression for me. (i'm not lying) Is anyone else working on sobriety or drinking/doing cool drugs less? Any successes?
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Mar 9, 2017 20:42
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