best jerk for a reasonable price

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > best jerk for a reasonable price

Honky Dong Country: Feb 11, 2015

LGD posted:

Golden Island Korean BBQ pork jerky at Costco.

gently caress that sounds good. There should be more asian jerky flavors around. I like when Jack Link occasionally does their Kung Pao jerky. That poo poo is amazing.

# ? Feb 7, 2017 01:19

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# ? May 21, 2024 01:02

Hardawn: Mar 15, 2004; Don't look at the sun, but rather what it illuminates; College Slice

Let me make it clear, I've handled meat until it was dry and tender in my hand

Plus I've also made jerky in a cheap Walmart dehydrator

# ? Feb 7, 2017 01:30

pants in my pants: Aug 18, 2009; by Smythe

935 posted:

Some goon made $15,000 selling beef jerky on SA Mart four or five years ago before it was discovered he was just buying something at Sams Club and repackaging it. There was one goon who was spending $150 A MONTH claiming it was the best jerky he'd ever eaten

haha was that the poo poo that former mod or admin or whatever he was louisgod bought 47 pounds of?

if not it's hilarious anyway: https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=1457686&userid=42569

# ? Feb 7, 2017 01:51

Kuato: Feb 25, 2005; "I CAN'T BELIEVE I ATE THE WHOLE THING"; Buglord

I wish I could find a way to scam Goons out of their money. I think a few good ideas would involve losing weight with no effort, maybe a pick-up guide that is "foolproof", or some kind of plus size clothing company catering to the discerning Goon

# ? Feb 7, 2017 01:55

vyst: Aug 25, 2009

I like perky jerky Turkey jerky

# ? Feb 7, 2017 01:56

Xaris: Jul 25, 2006; Lucky there's a family guy
Lucky there's a man who positively can do
All the things that make us
Laugh and cry

Jesus Christ posted:

Make your own!

Get one of those cheap wal-mart dehydrators, a couple pounds of top round, some worchestershire sauce and soy sauce and whatever spices you want to add to it (I do black pepper, garlic powder, onion powder, cayenne, chili powder, red pepper flakes, and a bit of cumin. Some people like to add brown sugar or molasses but I prefer not to).

Do the worchestershire/soy mixture 50/50, add the spices, then add the beef sliced pretty thin into it. Store it in the fridge overnight in several large ziplock bags (or a huge tupperware container if you have one).

Next morning (or afternoon if you slept in), throw them slices into the dehydrator (after eating a couple before hand -- yes it's raw but there's no bad poo poo thanks to the sheer salinity of the brine and it is loving delicious), wait some number of hours, and voila! The best beef jerky you've ever had! And it makes your place smell amazing too.

Dont even buy a dehydrator, they are garbage unitaskers and will barely work like poo poo. Rest of this is oslid though

Get a cheap box fan which you should prolly already have, bungie cords and a pack of those cheap air filters and stack meat in between and off you go. works much better

http://www.foodnetwork.com/videos/altons-beef-jerky-recipe-0170068.html

# ? Feb 7, 2017 01:59

Stick Figure Mafia: Dec 11, 2004

# ? Feb 7, 2017 02:01

That Robot: Sep 16, 2004; ask me anything about robots; Buglord

bridgeford used to be better; oh well

also jerky is too fucken expensive these days

# ? Feb 7, 2017 02:06

Xaris: Jul 25, 2006; Lucky there's a family guy
Lucky there's a man who positively can do
All the things that make us
Laugh and cry

also the jerky goon/big johns jerky was some p good poo poo. i usually just get a few lbs once a year before backpacking trips. i think if you had to buy jerky, it's probably the best bang for the buck.

# ? Feb 7, 2017 02:04

a dingus: Mar 22, 2008; Rhetorical questions only; Fun Shoe

pants in my pants posted:

haha was that the poo poo that former mod or admin or whatever he was louisgod bought 47 pounds of?

if not it's hilarious anyway: https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=1457686&userid=42569

The guy he buys jerky from is still selling so I don't think so. That said, its pretty good if its from Sams club and gently caress if I got doobied again.

# ? Feb 7, 2017 02:07

VendaGoat: Nov 1, 2005

That Robot posted:

bridgeford used to be better; oh well

also jerky is too fucken expensive these days

More expensive, per pound, then steak here.

But, jerky has the utility bonus. Because I can't... Don't want to carry a top end steak in a baggy, for when I want to snack.

# ? Feb 7, 2017 02:09

Xaris: Jul 25, 2006; Lucky there's a family guy
Lucky there's a man who positively can do
All the things that make us
Laugh and cry

Smeed posted:

The guy he buys jerky from is still selling so I don't think so. That said, its pretty good if its from Sams club and gently caress if I got doobied again.

its not from sams club. idk who started that rumor but it's not true, theres' already plenty of funny goonschengaigan scams without needing to make on up. sams club doesn't sell black pepper garlic, mango jalepeno, fiery teriyaki and all the other poo poo they have which is really good. i think sams club had some plain one but it sucked iirc

costco jerky is also dece in a pinch, but not as good as big johns there. but really just make your own it owns

Xaris fucked around with this message at 02:14 on Feb 7, 2017

# ? Feb 7, 2017 02:11

Nefarious 2.0: Apr 22, 2008; Offense is overrated anyway.

it's from sam's club

# ? Feb 7, 2017 02:14

pants in my pants: Aug 18, 2009; by Smythe

Xaris posted:

its not from sams club. idk who started that rumor but it's not true, theres' already plenty of funny goonschengaigan scams without needing to make on up. sams club doesn't sell black pepper garlic, mango jalepeno, fiery teriyaki and all the other poo poo they have which is really good. i think sams club had some plain one but it sucked iirc

costco jerky is also dece in a pinch, but not as good as big johns there. but really just make your own it owns

that short post got a lot longer.
awfully defensive aren't we?

e:

Nefarious 2.0 posted:

it's from sam's club

# ? Feb 7, 2017 02:20

That Robot: Sep 16, 2004; ask me anything about robots; Buglord

VendaGoat posted:

More expensive, per pound, then steak here.

But, jerky has the utility bonus. Because I can't... Don't want to carry a top end steak in a baggy, for when I want to snack.

ya but what sucks is that in stores it's always prepackaged stuff unless you're out in the country

you can buy a bunch online but you can't see it up close and it ain't the same

# ? Feb 7, 2017 02:29

nomadologique: Mar 9, 2011; DUNK A DILL PICKLE REALDO

i like jerky but i always ask myself is it worth the price

# ? Feb 7, 2017 03:15

Hardawn: Mar 15, 2004; Don't look at the sun, but rather what it illuminates; College Slice

nomadologique posted:

i like jerky but i always ask myself is it worth the price

If not on sale, they can go to hale

# ? Feb 7, 2017 03:33

Sjs00: Jun 29, 2013; Yeah Baby Yeah !

I have eaten maybe 2 pieces of jerky total my entire sad existence. I am not beefy

# ? Feb 7, 2017 04:09

Honky Dong Country: Feb 11, 2015

Sjs00 posted:

I have eaten maybe 2 pieces of jerky total my entire sad existence. I am not beefy

C'mon you little pissbitch. Get beefy. Get real beefy.

But no seriously get a dehydrator and make jerky. It's loving great for traveling, camping, just getting a little extra protein on a meat-light day, or anything really. There's no bad time to get your jerk on.

# ? Feb 7, 2017 04:13

Dignity Van Houten: Jul 28, 2006; abcdefghijk
ELLAMENNO-P

Xaris posted:

Dont even buy a dehydrator, they are garbage unitaskers and will barely work like poo poo. Rest of this is oslid though

Get a cheap box fan which you should prolly already have, bungie cords and a pack of those cheap air filters and stack meat in between and off you go. works much better

http://www.foodnetwork.com/videos/altons-beef-jerky-recipe-0170068.html

"Why yes goon sir I would like to try some of your gourmet beef jerky that's sandwiched between those musty air filters"
*pulls fibers and lint off sample, nibbles*
"This makes Sams Club jerky taste like horse poo poo! I'd like to buy six pounds! Do you take bitcoin?"

# ? Feb 7, 2017 04:14

Applewhite: Aug 16, 2014; by vyelkin; Nap Ghost

super sweet best pal posted:

Best jerk is at the jerk store, OP.

They called, by the way.
It's bad news.

# ? Feb 7, 2017 04:17

Honky Dong Country: Feb 11, 2015

935 posted:

"Why yes goon sir I would like to try some of your gourmet beef jerky that's sandwiched between those musty air filters"
*pulls fibers and lint off sample, nibbles*
"This makes Sams Club jerky taste like horse poo poo! I'd like to buy six pounds! Do you take bitcoin?"

Yeah I've seen this method before. I'm sure it works but I can't get past how off putting it is when I look at it. I used to work in apartment maintenance and have changed more of those filters than I can possibly count. Even cleans ones don't give me that "yes I'd like to eat meat off of this" vibe.

# ? Feb 7, 2017 04:17

extra stout: Feb 24, 2005; ISILDUR's ERR

pants in my pants posted:

haha was that the poo poo that former mod or admin or whatever he was louisgod bought 47 pounds of?

if not it's hilarious anyway: https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=1457686&userid=42569

i felt certain 47 pounds of beef jerky was a joke until i clicked on the link lmao

# ? Feb 7, 2017 04:24

nomadologique: Mar 9, 2011; DUNK A DILL PICKLE REALDO

lol if you think anything before 1983 was somehow more hygienic than that.

# ? Feb 7, 2017 04:58

nomadologique: Mar 9, 2011; DUNK A DILL PICKLE REALDO

here let me hang this ham in a moldy loving cave i dug nex tto my house

yum yum

# ? Feb 7, 2017 04:58

Honky Dong Country: Feb 11, 2015

nomadologique posted:

here let me hang this ham in a moldy loving cave i dug nex tto my house

yum yum

Nobody's saying that's preferable though?

# ? Feb 7, 2017 05:56

WatermelonGun: May 7, 2009

What is the communist equivalent of beef jerky

# ? Feb 7, 2017 05:57

a bone to pick: Sep 14, 2011; by FactsAreUseless

WatermelonGun posted:

What is the communist equivalent of beef jerky

frozen meat strip

# ? Feb 7, 2017 06:02

uber_stoat: Jan 21, 2001; Pillbug

rancid pate in a can.

# ? Feb 7, 2017 06:08

raton: Jul 28, 2003; by FactsAreUseless

WatermelonGun posted:

What is the communist equivalent of beef jerky

Ear of dog, tail of dog, ear of pig, Chechen breast of housewife, all the parts only make the ugly beast remove projection, not to kill it, so it can work in fields

# ? Feb 7, 2017 06:12

Hardawn: Mar 15, 2004; Don't look at the sun, but rather what it illuminates; College Slice

I just order 10 pounds of pink fiberglass to pump air through to get a unique jerk flavor previously unseen. How many pounds should I put you down for?

# ? Feb 7, 2017 11:37

The Phlegmatist: Nov 24, 2003

Xaris posted:

Dont even buy a dehydrator, they are garbage unitaskers and will barely work like poo poo. Rest of this is oslid though

Get a cheap box fan which you should prolly already have, bungie cords and a pack of those cheap air filters and stack meat in between and off you go. works much better

http://www.foodnetwork.com/videos/altons-beef-jerky-recipe-0170068.html

uh, spoiler alert: alton brown's method is really overcomplicated, you don't have to circulate the air that much when you're jerkin'

# ? Feb 7, 2017 11:51

yeah I eat ass: Mar 14, 2005; only people who enjoy my posting can replace this avatar

Xaris posted:

also the jerky goon/big johns jerky was some p good poo poo. i usually just get a few lbs once a year before backpacking trips. i think if you had to buy jerky, it's probably the best bang for the buck.

I liked it at first but it eventually started making my mouth/jaws super sore. My mouth must be too weak to chew on beef properly.

# ? Feb 7, 2017 11:56

Hardawn: Mar 15, 2004; Don't look at the sun, but rather what it illuminates; College Slice

yeah I eat rear end posted:

I liked it at first but it eventually started making my mouth/jaws super sore. My mouth must be too weak to chew on beef properly.

I too prefer more tender cuts, rawhide is for my pups

# ? Feb 7, 2017 12:26

Jose: Jul 24, 2007; Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster and writer

its real expensive in the UK it sucks

# ? Feb 7, 2017 12:35

vyst: Aug 25, 2009

The Phlegmatist posted:

uh, spoiler alert: alton brown's method is really overcomplicated, you don't have to circulate the air that much when you're jerkin'

How much do i need to circulate my jerkin air

# ? Feb 7, 2017 13:34

ziasquinn: Jan 1, 2006; Fallen Rib

Alton brown is a god king tho

I'm gonna make his jerky next week

I've taken the liberty of finding that video on YouTube to embed it

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZtkluZmqPwk

Also the list of ingredients for the marinade

quote:

1 1/2 to 2 pounds flank steak
2/3 cup Worcestershire sauce
2/3 cup soy sauce
1 tablespoon honey
2 teaspoons freshly ground black pepper
2 teaspoons onion powder
1 teaspoon liquid smoke
1 teaspoon red pepper flakes

ziasquinn fucked around with this message at 14:21 on Feb 7, 2017

# ? Feb 7, 2017 14:18

Hardawn: Mar 15, 2004; Don't look at the sun, but rather what it illuminates; College Slice

gently caress a soy sauce recipe

# ? Feb 7, 2017 14:26

vyst: Aug 25, 2009

My favorite soy sauce recipe is to go to the fukken store and pick up some kikkoman

# ? Feb 7, 2017 15:29

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# ? May 21, 2024 01:02

raton: Jul 28, 2003; by FactsAreUseless

I had a Chinese grocery near to my apartment in New York and while they had forty different kinds of soy sauce they didn't have Kikkoman because of their racial hatred toward the Japanese lol

# ? Feb 7, 2017 15:34

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