you are transported back to june 16th 2015.

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > C-SPAM > you are transported back to june 16th 2015.

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Chwoka: Jan 27, 2008; I'm Abed, and I never watch TV.

Talmonis posted:

2.) Use the codephrase call and response required to not be stabbed in the neck in case I'm a doppleganger trying to replace me.

how are you going to tell if it's the type of clone that's got all your memories and maybe thinks it's you

# ? Feb 9, 2017 22:16

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# ? May 5, 2024 23:00

Talmonis: Jun 24, 2012; The fairy of forgiveness has removed your red text.

Chwoka posted:

how are you going to tell if it's the type of clone that's got all your memories and maybe thinks it's you

There's a reason for #7 below that. I'm a paranoid nutter, and seeing myself would send me straight off the deep end. The call and response would at least let the doppleganger a few moments of speech before it takes a chrome to the dome.

# ? Feb 9, 2017 22:29

Nebakenezzer: Sep 13, 2005; The Mote in God's Eye

Gringostar posted:

anything you try to change the timeline gets corrected by someone else since trump was actually the best possible outcome for the future of humanity

This could be true, it'd be like that time Captain Kirk had to let that lady in 1930s San Fransisco get hit by a bus even though he loved her because her belief in peace and Pacifism gives the Nazis enough time to develop the V-2 and the bomb

Spock and Kirk get chased by an Irish cop

(Or was that a different episode...)

Anyway, I'd go back to the day Hilary Clinton visited the White House and convinced the goddamn president of the United States to convince his VP not to run in the Democratic primary

I'd pop out of a rose bush and say "Ms. Clinton! Mr. President! Wait! This is a backroom deal to give someone the Dem nomination, and skipping the whole vetting process that a honest primary brings! Is this that whole "tilted to the extremely wealthy and privileged thing everyone's been complaining about?"

And then I'd shiver and look at my hands. I'd realize then I'd become a conservative, because now I too blame Barack Obama for everything

# ? Feb 10, 2017 00:14

Mycroft Holmes: Mar 26, 2010; by Azathoth

shoot trump

problem solved

# ? Feb 10, 2017 00:40

the black husserl: Feb 25, 2005

Hi, Breitbart?

Yes, I'm a social content producer/strategist with a lot of insight into the 18-24 demo. And I've always been a huge admirer of everything Steve Bannon does. He's probably my biggest role model in media.

You do have an internship program? Great! When can I start? I'm happy to work for nothing as long as I'm in a position where I can learn from Steve.

# ? Feb 10, 2017 00:47

Mia Wasikowska: Oct 7, 2006

I'd post more about Jeb!

# ? Feb 10, 2017 01:25

The Glumslinger: Sep 24, 2008; Coach Nagy, you want me to throw to WHAT side of the field?; Hair Elf

Send a copy of the pussygate tape to NY Times/Wash Post/LA Times the day before Trump announces his candidacy

# ? Feb 10, 2017 01:28

Pener Kropoopkin: Jan 30, 2013

the black husserl posted:

Hi, Breitbart?

Yes, I'm a social content producer/strategist with a lot of insight into the 18-24 demo. And I've always been a huge admirer of everything Steve Bannon does. He's probably my biggest role model in media.

You do have an internship program? Great! When can I start? I'm happy to work for nothing as long as I'm in a position where I can learn from Steve.

My name? Oh yeah, my name is - Milo Yiannopoulos

# ? Feb 10, 2017 05:40

Darkman Fanpage: Jul 4, 2012

*is naive and carefree. the world is a magical place where nothing bad happens*

# ? Feb 10, 2017 05:42

spacetoaster: Feb 10, 2014

consumed by normies posted:

how do you save humanity from our doom

(excluding ways that get lowtax a ss visit)

All I would do is go to vegas to put money on Trump winning. Then make as many bets for dumb stuff with my co-workers as I could.

# ? Feb 10, 2017 05:44

Uncle Wemus: Mar 4, 2004

consumed by normies posted:

how do you save humanity from our doom

(excluding ways that get lowtax a ss visit)

1) Kill self

# ? Feb 10, 2017 05:52

breaklaw: May 12, 2008

Talmonis posted:

1.) Find myself in the past.
2.) Use the codephrase call and response required to not be stabbed in the neck in case I'm a doppleganger trying to replace me.
3.) Convince past-me that I'm not loving with him, and that Trump really did win.
4.) Using past-me as an intermediary, convince key family members that it's legit.
5.) Use family connections to get access to the highest government official possible. Likely appeals court judges, state senators and U.S. congressmen.
6.) Use data brought back from the election to convince them of the threat, not saying a goddamn word about time travel.
7.) Be taken off the board by my past-self as a possible threat and replacement. I let it happen, as I doom myself if I take him out first. Probably with a hidden knife in the lower spine.
8.) Melodromatically bleed out on the marble stairs of the Supreme Court building while staring at a picture of my kid.

Something like that.

Dude, do you really ask black people about their dick size? Fucks up with that?

# ? Feb 10, 2017 05:55

Talmonis: Jun 24, 2012; The fairy of forgiveness has removed your red text.

breaklaw posted:

Dude, do you really ask black people about their dick size? Fucks up with that?

Hah, nah. I was talking to Negromancer about whether stereotypes of that kind were harsh on folks' self esteem in the community. Someone either didn't, or didn't want to get the question.

# ? Feb 10, 2017 15:23

sword_man.gif: Apr 12, 2007; Fun Shoe

make mad bank with betting and then invest all the resulting cash into leather harnesses, car-mounted spikes and flamethrowers, and pa systems mounted on trucks while hiring a voice coach to practice my who runs bartertown speech

# ? Feb 10, 2017 18:33

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

Thoguh posted:

I'd tell Bernie to start campaiging in the South earlier.

This is probably the winning strategy -- like I said earlier, the DNC wouldn't want to listen no matter how much proof you had, so it'd be a better call to fix Bernie's problems. Call him up maybe right after the 2014 elections if possible: "Hey Berno, you know in your heart the Dems aren't going to run a leftist or anyone with a soul really, because It's Her Turn. You're going to have to do it yourself. I don't even need proof here, because I'm not telling you anything you don't already know. So stop pussyfooting around and raise that national-level profile or you'll regret it later. Oh, and btw, concentrate on the South. And if you hire Jeff Weaver I'll smack you."

# ? Feb 10, 2017 19:54

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

Alternate strategy, easier, but with less payoff: send Hillary Clinton a bunch of clickbait articles about "12 Awesome Indie Hot-Sauces From Wisconsin's Burgeoning Hot-Sauce Scene Which Will Blow Your Mind"

"Spend as much time driving around Wisconsin as possible to try all these awesome sauces!"

"Oh, also rural Pennsylvania for some reason. The Amish are discovering chile peppers."

# ? Feb 10, 2017 19:59

MaxxBot: Oct 6, 2003; you could have clapped

you should have clapped!!

Donate even more money to the �JEB! campaign!

# ? Feb 10, 2017 20:01

Adventure Pigeon: Nov 8, 2005; I am a master storyteller.

Find and destroy the 4chan servers. The memewar can only be stopped at the source.

# ? Feb 10, 2017 20:22

Laphroaig: Feb 6, 2004; Drinking Smoke; Dinosaur Gum

Pener Kropoopkin posted:

My name? Oh yeah, my name is - Milo Yiannopoulos

hehe

# ? Feb 10, 2017 20:26

Bushiz: Sep 21, 2004; The #1 Threat to Ba Sing Se; Grimey Drawer

Use my billions of gambling dollars to fund a pro bernie pac

# ? Feb 10, 2017 20:48

anime was right: Jun 27, 2008; death is certain
keep yr cool

increase bernies name recognition through a hit viral facebook video

# ? Feb 10, 2017 20:50

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

Bushiz posted:

Use my billions of gambling dollars to fund a pro bernie pac

Bernie, in his first stump speech: "WELL, I don't HAVE a Super PAC"

Politifact, rating this claim PANTS ON FIRE: "clearly Bernie is in the pocket of Big Time Traveler"

# ? Feb 10, 2017 21:45

Squizzle: Apr 24, 2008

buy a second account and develop a strong shitpost patter w classic me in the trump thread

# ? Feb 11, 2017 08:03

GlyphGryph: Jun 23, 2013; Down came the glitches and burned us in ditches and we slept after eating our dead.

jarofpiss posted:

sorry i was working for bernie since april in 2015 this isn't my fault

Tell Bernie to prepare more effectively for the fight in the south

Edit : gently caress shouldnt have skipped posts

GlyphGryph has issued a correction as of 15:13 on Feb 12, 2017

# ? Feb 12, 2017 15:06

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# ? May 5, 2024 23:00

Otherkinsey Scale: Jul 17, 2012; Just a little bit of sunshine!

Baloogan posted:

ya ever thing that actions in the present can go back in time as well as forward in time?

If time travel exists (or will ever exist) then anything you do in the present could affect a future time traveler's background, causing them to take different actions when they travel to the past. :tinfoil:

# ? Feb 12, 2017 18:37

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > C-SPAM > you are transported back to june 16th 2015.

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