Would you march to war for something awful?

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Would you march to war for something awful?

Jeffrey of YOSPOS: Dec 22, 2005; GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

I've been thinking about patriotism a lot lately for whatever reason. The "nationalism" type of feeling where one feels loyal to people who live near them and are in their group, in some sense is felt by most people (in my experience) but not everyone. I'm in the camp of folks who don't have it at all - my stepmom once asked me what I'd do if china invaded our country( :confused:

right) and was pretty offended by my answer of "learn mandarin". It's hard for me to say what would get me to violate the deep internalized ethical principle that says "stay far away from bullets".

That said, I started thinking about forums, and I really love this place. The thought I had was....I'd be more likely to risk my life and march to war (actual, literal, guns and tanks type war) for the sake of the something awful forums than I would for the united states of america. This website is more important to me than the borders of my nation, and if another armed force or nation state threatened it, I would reticently answer a call to arms. It wouldn't be something I took lightly and obviously it would take some soul-searching before I committed, but it's true. Does anyone else feel this way? I mean, I wouldn't really want to march to war for SA either, I'd just more more willing to accept that than doing it for the US. (Not to mention my civil service would probably get me a relatively cushy officer's job - mad respect for any forums enlistees.)

# ? Feb 10, 2017 22:48

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# ? May 31, 2024 12:27

kecske: Feb 28, 2011; it's round, like always

I will carry the flag for dgsw

# ? Feb 10, 2017 22:57

eric: Apr 27, 2004; Lipstick Apathy

no OP I would not

# ? Feb 10, 2017 22:57

Jerry Mumphrey: Mar 11, 2004; by zen death robot
(and can't post for 4 years!)

i don't know but i've been told
the krusty meme is getting old

# ? Feb 10, 2017 23:03

Nooner: Mar 26, 2011; AN A+ OPSTER (:

I have before and am willing to kill again for these drat forums

# ? Feb 10, 2017 23:04

Nooner: Mar 26, 2011; AN A+ OPSTER (:

Jerry Mumphrey posted:

i don't know but i've been told
the krusty meme is getting old

"digging" the new "av" ifkwim

# ? Feb 10, 2017 23:05

Nooner: Mar 26, 2011; AN A+ OPSTER (:

I have been IP banned by Ebaumsworld from my home residence, fiancee's residence, and three different offices, so yeah I think you can say I've done my part in the forums war. :smuggo:

# ? Feb 10, 2017 23:07

Iron Prince: Aug 28, 2005; Buglord

depends.... who's the enemy?

# ? Feb 10, 2017 23:08

Dave_Indeed: Feb 22, 2004; by FactsAreUseless

Probably if China invaded but not for an internet website. I don't know why China would want to invade unless they just decide to exterminate the population. Otherwise that would certainly stretch them too thin and on the world stage Australia would quickly conquer the world once it had built up enough army units and hosed everyone over again. gently caress Risk and gently caress my brother Kurt.

# ? Feb 10, 2017 23:09

Nooner: Mar 26, 2011; AN A+ OPSTER (:

luv 2 date boys posted:

depends.... who's the enemy?

Glad you reregged so quick bud :glomp:

# ? Feb 10, 2017 23:09

Jerry Mumphrey: Mar 11, 2004; by zen death robot
(and can't post for 4 years!)

i'd live in an australia-dominated world. i feel like people would just drink heavily and get bit by spiders

# ? Feb 10, 2017 23:10

Crash_N_Burn: Apr 19, 2014

The Goon Berets

# ? Feb 10, 2017 23:15

Nooner: Mar 26, 2011; AN A+ OPSTER (:

Crash_N_Burn posted:

The Goon Berets

brown pants

# ? Feb 10, 2017 23:16

VendaGoat: Nov 1, 2005

Depends op, how much yah paying me?

# ? Feb 10, 2017 23:26

Iron Prince: Aug 28, 2005; Buglord

Nooner posted:

Glad you reregged so quick bud

let's just say i had a..... gift certficate :grin:

# ? Feb 10, 2017 23:49

let it mellow: Jun 1, 2000; Dinosaur Gum

if by "march to war" you mean "get drunk and poo poo post" then yea

# ? Feb 10, 2017 23:51

ProfessorMurder: Aug 27, 2003; I can wet the bed in the shape of Abraham Lincoln

I wouldn't literally fight, but I'd be glad to buy an I Support Our Goon Troops bumper sticker and wristband and poo poo.

# ? Feb 10, 2017 23:55

Monos Bullet: Dec 6, 2016; Yea, and I say unto you, bringeth me a machiatto of caramel, with crickets on top.

Goons all want to die, they would be a very ineffective army.

That said, yes I would enlist if I knew I would die quickly.

# ? Feb 11, 2017 00:06

Fart Puzzle: Jul 25, 2007; compressed fart pieces

I'm not sure if I would die for these forums but I would definitely kill for these forums

# ? Feb 11, 2017 00:11

Putty: Mar 21, 2013; HOOKED ON THE BROTHERS

insider fact, the IMDB forums were taken down by a Cinema Discusso suicide bomber

it's kind of awkward seeing a guy say "I am here... now" before blowing himself up

# ? Feb 11, 2017 00:13

Masturbasturd: Sep 1, 2014

It's kinda sorta the good 'ole US of A with all the guns & nukes that keeps our Lowtax safe so we can have freedom of speech to threaten our chief executive.

# ? Feb 11, 2017 00:23

various cheeses: Jan 24, 2013

Fart Puzzle posted:

I'm not sure if I would die for these forums but I would definitely kill for these forums

The trick is getting the posters of other forums to die for theirs.

# ? Feb 11, 2017 00:23

Murray Mantoinette: Jun 11, 2005; ＴＨＥＰＯＳＴＳＭＵＳＴＦＬＯＷ; Clapping Larry

I have plat so I'd be like, what, a non-commissioned officer? Sure, I'd probably join under those circumstances.

# ? Feb 11, 2017 00:43

Play: Apr 25, 2006; Strong stroll for a mangy stray

As a ronin (a samurai without a master for those who know nothing of glorious nippon), my katana will only be unsheathed for a lord worthy of it. I know much of war, having been bullied throughout my childhood.

It will taste the sweet blood of the enemy if that lord is indeed you.... Jeffrey of YOSPOS.

# ? Feb 11, 2017 00:44

Mr.Tophat: Apr 7, 2007; You clearly don't understand joke development

kecske posted:

I will carry the flag for dgsw

I will rescue that flag

Or buy a poo poo ton of flags with DGSWs avatar on it

Depends if Nooner is still alive after the first poo poo post shelling

# ? Feb 11, 2017 00:47

Jeffrey of YOSPOS: Dec 22, 2005; GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

*ironically becomes hardened and ruthless just like our enemies after experiencing the horror of war, still won't eat vegetables*

# ? Feb 11, 2017 00:48

Mr.Tophat: Apr 7, 2007; You clearly don't understand joke development

Gas gas, an ecstasy of probations

# ? Feb 11, 2017 00:50

Shaquin: May 12, 2007

sure as long as I get to be either bazooka/flame thrower guy

# ? Feb 11, 2017 00:52

Mr.Tophat: Apr 7, 2007; You clearly don't understand joke development

The goon cooks would kill each other if they had to work together to feed the troops. Knives slowly jammed into mens chests in a desperate struggle, the final blood gargle saying, 'NO loving BEANS IN CHILLI'

# ? Feb 11, 2017 00:54

Sophy Wackles: Dec 17, 2000; > access main security grid
access: PERMISSION DENIED.

You have my keyboard, sir.

# ? Feb 11, 2017 00:55

Mr.Tophat: Apr 7, 2007; You clearly don't understand joke development

We are already armed to the teeth, seems like everyone brought grenades

# ? Feb 11, 2017 00:56

Chinatown: Sep 11, 2001; by Fluffdaddy; Fun Shoe

ill be the coast guard

# ? Feb 11, 2017 00:56

Mirrors: Oct 25, 2007

Yeah sure why not what else have I got to live for

# ? Feb 11, 2017 00:56

Sophy Wackles: Dec 17, 2000; > access main security grid
access: PERMISSION DENIED.

This is my keyboard. There are many others like it, but this one is mine. My keyboard is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it as I must master my life. Without me, my keyboard is useless. Without my keyboard, I am useless. I must strike my keys true. I must type faster than my enemy, who is trying to kill me. I must troll him before he trolls me. I will. Before God I swear this creed: my keyboard and myself are defenders of my forums, we are the masters of our enemy, we are the saviors of my life. So be it, until there is no enemy, but peace. Amen.

# ? Feb 11, 2017 00:59

The Biscuit: Jul 2, 2007; Half of everything is luck.

Monos Bullet posted:

Goons all want to die, they would be a very ineffective army.

That said, yes I would enlist if I knew I would die quickly.

I'm told that not gaf about dying actually makes you a better soldier (short term I mean, "high k/d").
Unless you mean, they would clock out before combat.

# ? Feb 11, 2017 01:01

a bone to pick: Sep 14, 2011; by FactsAreUseless

Not after that weak-rear end probie you gave me earlier.

# ? Feb 11, 2017 01:02

Fart Puzzle: Jul 25, 2007; compressed fart pieces

goons will all bonk their heads together trying to dive on the first grenade thrown at them so nobody actually lands on it to absorb the explosion and everyone dies

# ? Feb 11, 2017 01:03

scuba school sucks: Aug 30, 2012; The brilliance of my posting illuminates the forums like a jar of shining gold when all around is dark

If by "march" you mean a sluggish waddle, YOURE GODDAMNED RIGHT SOLDIER OOH RAH!

# ? Feb 11, 2017 01:04

scuba school sucks: Aug 30, 2012; The brilliance of my posting illuminates the forums like a jar of shining gold when all around is dark

Goin on long marches through the countryside to harden the gently caress up but instead of a rucksack and a assault rifle I'm carrying a printer

# ? Feb 11, 2017 01:05

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# ? May 31, 2024 12:27

scuba school sucks: Aug 30, 2012; The brilliance of my posting illuminates the forums like a jar of shining gold when all around is dark

Marksmanship practice in the puckins patch and all the targets are furries or Juggalos

# ? Feb 11, 2017 01:06

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Would you march to war for something awful?

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