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proctorbot posted:I have a good job and everything, I just come home tired from work and then I deal with a very needy little creature that needs basically constant and undivided attention. If I could afford a nanny or act like a traditional disengaged 1950s dad it would be a lot easier. Dude it gets way better. The first year to year and a half can be brutal. Your baby just poops, eats, whines, and cries all day long. When they get to about 1 and a half, they're walking, they are doing cute things, they are happy to see you. They still have fits (this goes on until about 3 1/2) but the good stuff totally outweighs the rough stuff by then. Everyone I know who is honest says the first year is brutal. I found it to be pretty tough, but not to the point I regretted it. Anyway it absolutely does get better as it has for me already and mine ain't even 2 yet. It just takes time.
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Feb 19, 2017 03:01
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| # ¿ May 6, 2024 09:17 |
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It's definitely not a great idea to have a kid in your 20s unless you are somehow filthy rich and met the absolute most perfect significant other in the world. Even then there's really no downside to just enjoying a less hectic life for a while. My wife and I originally never wanted kids (we have quite a few friends who said the same and all eventually did) but after about five years of marriage, we felt like we were living and working just to go on vacation twice a year. Don't get me wrong, it was nice having peace and quiet and lots of free time, but it felt a bit too structured and like we were going to work every day for no real reason other than paying bills and going away twice a year. We had a kid in our early 30s and are expecting our second one any day now. We are both very lucky in that we both have stable, well-paying jobs and no hereditary illnesses or anything we can pass down (we had this all checked). It's definitely crazy that on some days I'm so busy with work and kid stuff that I literally don't have time to make a single phone call. But there's no way I'd ever trade it back. And now when we have quiet time, it feels like we earned it instead of it just being what happened after work every day. I'm legitimately excited to go to places like Sesame Place and Disney and I never thought in a million years that I'd say that.
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Feb 23, 2017 02:44
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UnfortunateSexFart posted:My 36 year old wife and I (also 36) still bristle at the idea of having children. I gotta be honest but my 2 year old has not cost me much money up to this point (huge stipulation: I work rotating shifts so we don't have to pay for daycare). Other than diapers and extra food, there's really no costs (friends virtually throw their kids old clothes in your direction). But it obviously will get very expensive come high school and college time I'm sure.
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Feb 24, 2017 18:48
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Police Automaton posted:Man I could never imagine being so bored that I'd consider having a kid just to fill that time with something, but it takes different kinds I guess It wasn't really boredom, it was more "what exactly are we saving money for other than vacations and retirement which we can also do with kids". The only major differences is are the vacations are going to be a lot different (doesn't matter because we went everywhere we wanted to go already) and if we want to go out we just need to find a sitter. We still go out once a week (with no kids) usually.
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Feb 24, 2017 19:28
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Police Automaton posted:That's not really something I could catch myself ever thinking to be honest, but I guess we are just very different people. Which is fine! oh yeah, it is definitely not for everyone, and props to anyone who figures that out beforehand. I definitely would have not been able to do it while going to college and working full time. People who can juggle all three make me go 
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Feb 24, 2017 23:34
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