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Utz
Aug 1, 2008

by vyelkin
so fat he squints all the time

even though his eyes are perfect

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Utz
Aug 1, 2008

by vyelkin

Dr_0ctag0n posted:

What are the best satanic rituals to perform in order to cause Trump to stroke out on live TV?

Do I need fresh virgin blood or something? My pentagram is kinda dried up now and the candles are just puddles of wax in my basement. The goat ate my couch and I had to let it free in the back yard or else he would have ruined my bed too.

Any pointers would be greatly appreciated, tia.

you need a nazi's pineal gland for that one iirc

Utz
Aug 1, 2008

by vyelkin

whoa

you want us to kill ourselves how about YOU DIE ASSHOLES

Utz
Aug 1, 2008

by vyelkin
some people have said that they gently caress donkeys in trump tower

some say there's a whole lotta donkeyfuckin goin on up in there

in the penthouse

Utz
Aug 1, 2008

by vyelkin
sheep too

and goats

all hosed in trump tower, some say

Utz
Aug 1, 2008

by vyelkin

Utz
Aug 1, 2008

by vyelkin
unappreciated in his time, bannon looks toward his future:

populating the simulation-space in the mind of the great old ones

ten thousand, no, ten thousand times ten thousand simultaneous running bannon instances

all screaming in a different way

Utz
Aug 1, 2008

by vyelkin

whatever exists without his knowledge exists without his consent

Utz
Aug 1, 2008

by vyelkin

a child of god, much like yourself

Utz
Aug 1, 2008

by vyelkin

Junkyard Poodle posted:

I wonder if trump is getting a steady stream of/from hookers up in the WH or is a plain ol incel cuck who has gone impotent.

surely his dick is wrecky except for special occasions like inauguration day

most likely he pays no attention to it and treats it like just another supernumerary nipple

he chose his hair over his dick, you see

a true showman

Utz
Aug 1, 2008

by vyelkin
"Richard Spencer knows that for the rest of his life his best shot at getting attention is to talk about me," Yiannopoulos told POLITICO. "I don't begrudge him the scraps he craves."

Utz
Aug 1, 2008

by vyelkin
what you mean boy mr trump come up from the gutter

he's an honest fuckin workin man

Utz
Aug 1, 2008

by vyelkin
you know who else built walls

nehemiah

top that you son of a bitch

all your side got is witches

Utz
Aug 1, 2008

by vyelkin

sullat posted:

Gilgamesh

fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck

mind blown

Utz
Aug 1, 2008

by vyelkin
gilgamesh would fuckin DESTROY nehemiah

AND he built fuckin walls

i gotta tell my church about this

they got it wrong, not the demoncrats and libtards

Utz
Aug 1, 2008

by vyelkin

sullat posted:

He certainly did like loving, that's for sure. Perhaps too much.

loving was his downfall after all

Utz
Aug 1, 2008

by vyelkin

Squizzle posted:

its boastedin the opening of the first tablet, how can you forget that

mah church been lyin to me all my life is how

Utz
Aug 1, 2008

by vyelkin

Turdfuzz posted:

next ur gonna tell me its wrong to eat pussy

oral cancer

god's judgment on pussy eating

top that

Utz
Aug 1, 2008

by vyelkin
they been talkin bout nehemiah because of trump

it ain't wrong to build walls, they say

you know who else built walls

nehemiah

and then it starts all over again

Utz
Aug 1, 2008

by vyelkin

Squizzle posted:

quit that and become an assyriologist and jack off in a ziggurat like twice a week

couldn't leave mah church

mah peeps

even though i now abjure my xtian beliefs forever

Utz
Aug 1, 2008

by vyelkin
but if i can jack off under the guise of religion

then i will

so i'm interested in assology or whatever you said, tell me more

Utz
Aug 1, 2008

by vyelkin

fits my needs posted:

yeah, well so did richard nixon and donald trump.

donald trump is a man who was born wearing overalls.



that's me, i'm the fella in the picture

but now i have changed my mind abut trump too

Utz
Aug 1, 2008

by vyelkin

Squizzle posted:

always time for gnosticism tho

well of course

what else do we have to make sense of things?

precious little

Utz
Aug 1, 2008

by vyelkin
what do pirates have to do with assology

sorry i'm so dense

it's because of my church makin me stupid all these long years

gol dang jesus to heck, there i said it

to heck!

Utz
Aug 1, 2008

by vyelkin

who's that hot young number on his arm

whoo wee

Utz
Aug 1, 2008

by vyelkin

triple sulk posted:

do u not know who that is

some kinda sharp-tongued sitcom actress

she spoke at my church once on the evils on onanism

Utz
Aug 1, 2008

by vyelkin
whoa squizz

i think i'm startin to get it

Utz
Aug 1, 2008

by vyelkin

Sir Tonk posted:

good to see that ol' squizzle content back

sometimes you have to prime the pump a little but its a reliable gusher once stimulated correctly

Utz
Aug 1, 2008

by vyelkin
aw yeah

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l3fZuW-aJsg

it's pneumatic baby

Utz
Aug 1, 2008

by vyelkin
i would use the holodeck as a bathroom

step in naked and just let it happen

the holojanitor can clean it up

Utz
Aug 1, 2008

by vyelkin

tacodaemon posted:

honestly i think ivanka looks way more like her mom

similarly with tiffany who looks hella like marla and not donald

not sure about barron (he's melania's only kid, right?)

e: i try not to think about donald jr and eric

none of them are trump's natural children

they are 110% lab grown trump brand meat people

Utz
Aug 1, 2008

by vyelkin
we should all be killed by meteors

Utz
Aug 1, 2008

by vyelkin

UV_Catastrophe posted:

nature's mercy killing

yes, nature's anesthesia

nature's lil tap onna back of the neck

end this madness

maximum meteor strikes NOW

Utz
Aug 1, 2008

by vyelkin

that's shopped, right? look at the neck area...

that can't be real

can it?

Utz
Aug 1, 2008

by vyelkin
trump's not gonna like the laffo way sessions recused himself in his press conference

poor presentation

it just looks like he's worried, even trump can see that

he looks like he's trying really hard not to bust out laughing sometimes

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EDWZQhPe9H0

all this smiling, a basic primate tell of nervousness

licking his lips LIKE A DOG,

his wrinkled cheeks so dry as the word-turds drop out

this is the rear end of Sauron

the more i watch however i guess he's just weirdly wrinkly and that makes him look like he's smirking

nevertheless, my post stands

Utz
Aug 1, 2008

by vyelkin
no wait!

he IS smirking

Utz
Aug 1, 2008

by vyelkin
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TGe6017JwPw

Utz
Aug 1, 2008

by vyelkin
trump will be viewed in the history books as the clown who tripped on his own shoes, fell through a manhole and drowned in the sewer

dragged down by his luxurious hair

Utz
Aug 1, 2008

by vyelkin
i'm heading out the door right now, but i just read chump's tweets from this morning and wanted to share a hearty belly laugh with y'all

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Utz
Aug 1, 2008

by vyelkin


the yuman centipede

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