ITT post your favorite videos [Blind friendly only]

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > ITT post your favorite videos [Blind friendly only]

Kruxy: May 19, 2004; Just a steel town girl on
a Saturday night, looking
for the fight of her life

People love a good video. They're funny or informative or sad or neither or dumb and lovely. But do you know who doesn't like videos?

Blind People!

So post your favorite videos, but keep this blind friendly, so don't go posting any links or pictures. Just a text description of your favorite youtube or vimeo or liveleak or redtube or whatever video. Blind people can use their Text to Speech programs to imagine the world of the video.

A picture is worth a 1000 words, and a video is worth more than that, but don't go writing a 1000 words, cause no one is going to read that poo poo.

Don't you dare go posting any links or pics or I will report you so fast. It's super insensitive to post pictures in the Blind People thread.

I guess people can guess what video it is, but who the gently caress really cares if you know what video it is.

Blind people don't care.

I take that back, don't guess. gently caress you for wanting to guess.

Music Video - 4:14 minutes posted:

A dude is in a coffee shop on an online dating site checking out this girl he wants to date. She is super conservative right-wing christian though. But this guy doesn't care cause he's a super sexy cool dude. He drives up to her house on his lovely dirtbike and checks out her house. He starts singing a song about her. We flash back to when he was getting ready for the date, he gets ready by checking out his hair and mustache and checking his breath for freshness. She's getting ready for the date checking out the most modest dress she has. He winks at himself in the mirror and demonstrates his magic Collar-Pop superpower that he will use throughout the video.

He walks up to her house and picks her up, He uses his collar-pop super power and she swoons. They start riding down the road on his lovely dirtbike and go to the coffee shop. We flash to him shoplifting at Ross Dress for Less and a bunch of cops chase him out of the store, but they're too slow to catch up with his petty larceny. Now he's doing some jazzercise step aerobics.

They pull up to the coffee shop. He gets a coffee and steals a bunch of change from the "Need a penny Take a penny" container. The trio of cops see him steal the pennies and chase after him, but they're too slow for his lovely dirtbike. Now we're at his house and he puts some roofies in a drink to give to the girl. There is a video camera set up to record the illicit crime, but the dude forgets which drink is which and drinks the roofies.

He fantasizes that he is in the desert with a group of beautiful bikini ladies and one handsome man. He uses his Collar-Pop superpower on each of them and each one swoons. Uh oh, he woke back up on the floor and now the cops are at his door, he runs out the back and they corner him with sickles and cleavers, but they are no match for his Collar-Pop super power. He knocks them out and escapes.

We end with him now impersonating a police office and driving up to another woman's house on his lovely dirtbike to taker her out for a date. We end with a "To Be Continued..." overlay. What mischievous skullduggery will this rapscallion get up to next? Only time will tell.

Kruxy fucked around with this message at 00:10 on Mar 10, 2017

# ? Mar 9, 2017 22:39

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# ? May 16, 2024 22:25

Kruxy: May 19, 2004; Just a steel town girl on
a Saturday night, looking
for the fight of her life

TL; DR gently caress you

# ? Mar 9, 2017 22:39

macdonal hamborkles: Mar 29, 2010; Twerk it good!

I hope nobody repliies to this thread and it fades into obscurity,

e: gently caress!

# ? Mar 9, 2017 22:45

Kruxy: May 19, 2004; Just a steel town girl on
a Saturday night, looking
for the fight of her life

# ? Mar 9, 2017 22:48

Kruxy: May 19, 2004; Just a steel town girl on
a Saturday night, looking
for the fight of her life

Educational Video - 21:28 minutes posted:

A middle-aged gentleman has an enormous cyst in the middle of his upper back. It appears to be the size of half of a cutie mandarin orange. We are shown the cyst from multiple angles so as to get a better idea of how large it actually is. The doctor has drawn a dotted line circle around the cyst to indicate the edges, and she has drawn a football shaped mark on top of the cyst so that she knows where to cut into the skin. We are greeted with a legal disclaimer advising you to not try this at home because the doctor performing the procedure is a doctor and you are not.

She takes a scalpel and slices into the skin along the football mark lines, which have been erased some by now. The doctor confirms with the patient that he cannot feel anything. It can be assumed from this that the doctor numbed the area prior to filming. She carefully continues slicing along the lines and the skin pulls open more and more. She says that she hopes to be able to remove the cyst whole, but may have to puncture it. She pulls the football slice of skin away and gingerly cuts underneat it with a pair of scissors. She can now see the cyst. One of the assistants comments that the cyst looks like an oyster. The doctor carefully cuts alongside the cyst and then begins to push at it from either side. A thick disgusting gunk begins to appear. It is years worth of skin cells sloughed into a solid mass. It has the consistency of ricotta cheese and paper pulp.

The doctor uses a clean piece of gauze to remove the chunk of cyst filling, then give it a couple more sturdy squeezes. After squeezing out the majority of the contents, she takes her scissors and begins cutting around the cyst wall so as to remove it in once piece. The patient informs her that the cyst is only about 2 years old. She express disbelief. She snips and opens and snips and opens. The cyst wall is very thin and adherent to his back skin. She is able to remove the entire cyst wall and contents, however there are some blood vessels slowly oozing in the open space. She take a cautery tool and buzzes them closed with an electric shock.

She begins a triple layer closure of sutures since the empty space is so deep. She starts off with the first two layers using sutures that will eventually dissolve. Once she is at the top layer, she trims the ends and edges a bit with a scalpel so that the scar will lie flat. She closes up the top with eight individual stitches. She concludes the video with showing the patient that contents of the cyst that were removed. He is amazed at the amount and consistency. We get one last peek at the before and after of the cyst removal, and then a screen comes up providing links to various social media outlets as well as a request to subscribe to be alerted to more videos in the future when they are uploaded.

# ? Mar 9, 2017 23:36

Kruxy: May 19, 2004; Just a steel town girl on
a Saturday night, looking
for the fight of her life

�Philosophy Video - 1:01:23 hours� posted:

A man sits in a purple lounge chair reading a newspaper. There is a wooden end table next to the man. He places his hand on the table top and searches for something that is not there. The man breaks the fourth wall and looks directly at the viewer. A voiceover questions �Now where could my pipe be?� Cut to a man in an orange cat costume squatting on the ground. He is smoking a comically oversized purple pipe. A voiceover exclaims �Garfield!� Canned laughter and applause can be heard over the scene.

Cut to a comic strip that depicts everything just described. Applause continues.

Cut to an hour-long seminar where an elderly gentleman passionately discusses and analyzes the comic strip.

# ? Mar 9, 2017 23:50

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# ? May 16, 2024 22:25

Kruxy: May 19, 2004; Just a steel town girl on
a Saturday night, looking
for the fight of her life

Relaxing Video - 50 second posted:

A plastic toy duck sits on a hardwood floor. A hand reaches down and tips the duck over and flips a switch on the bottom of the toy. An amusing instrumental quacking song begins playing.The hand places the toy duck back on the floor and exits the screen. The duck begins to drive around on the floor hither and thither. It briefly stops, along with the music, and quacks five times. A trapdoor in the Duck's butt opens up and a toy egg rolls out. The duck begins singing its jolly tune again and rolls around on the floor, bumping into the walls and a stove. It stops again, quacks five times and and second egg rolls out of the trapdoor. The duck starts back up, bumps up against the stove a few more times, then stops and produces a third egg. The video ends abruptly.

# ? Mar 10, 2017 00:27

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > ITT post your favorite videos [Blind friendly only]