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what if the pope was a dog? |
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Mar 12, 2017 00:35
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| # ? May 17, 2024 19:38 |
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goon project: lets make a dog the pope
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Mar 12, 2017 00:41
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gonna need a poper scoper 
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Mar 12, 2017 00:56
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the fwiggin dog pope lol |
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Mar 12, 2017 01:03
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after all what else is closer to g-o-d than d-o-g??
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Mar 12, 2017 01:08
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Piso Mojado posted:the fwiggin dog pope lol lmao
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Mar 12, 2017 01:20
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who's a godly boy |
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Mar 12, 2017 01:26
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Immediately after he's confirmed, the college of cardinals locks away all of the ossuaries.
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Mar 12, 2017 01:38
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All communion wafers to be replaced with biscuits, and wine will now be sprayed from a hose directly into the congregation's mouths.
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Mar 12, 2017 01:40
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sig brought to you by the amazing & beautiful vanisher, feat. Helle Woods, artisinally designed by Death Sext !!!
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All is quiet across the plaza of Saint Peter's Square as the multitudes of the faithful gathered to hear the Holy Words of the newly pontified Saint Bernard, who stood upon the balcony with one paw raised... "Woof!" he said. The crowd went wild, it was Latin for "good dog". https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4 |
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Mar 12, 2017 01:59
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Pope Beneful |
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Mar 12, 2017 03:09
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Pope dogcrees that all animals may now be baptized, except squirrels of course. |
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Mar 12, 2017 03:10
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Pope declares only some dogs go to heaven. |
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Mar 12, 2017 04:19
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FactsAreUseless posted:Pope declares only some dogs go to heaven.
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Mar 12, 2017 04:29
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after a long flight the pope upholds the tradition of walking around in circles sniffing the ground as he steps off the plane
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Mar 12, 2017 05:38
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*that awkward moment when the pope meets with a foreign dignitary and begins humping his leg*
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Mar 12, 2017 05:58
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cardinal waving one of those incense swinging things as he walks, dog pope is behind him sniffing the air like NUTS |
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Mar 12, 2017 12:24
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the pope died and they elected a new one, classic situation… but this time they elected a freaking dog! :rodlf:
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Mar 12, 2017 12:37
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these air bud sequels are getting interesting |
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Mar 12, 2017 12:42
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there's no rule saying a dog can't be pope but there doesn't need to be, because everyone can see how inherently silly that would be. basically an unwritten rule *credits roll* |
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Mar 12, 2017 13:30
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Farecoal posted:there's no rule saying a dog can't be pope Cue Tubthumping by Chumbawamba.
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Mar 12, 2017 13:35
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pope meets w interfaith council and manages to unite all leaders in attendance in the declaration that he is a very good boy |
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Mar 12, 2017 13:51
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Teacher : "Johnny, why didn't you turn in your homework assignment" Johnny : "sorry Mrs. Robinson, the pope ate it"
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Mar 12, 2017 14:30
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The Secret Life of Popes. E: Alternatively- what if the pope was one of us? Tik Tok Tommy fucked around with this message at 17:20 on Mar 12, 2017 |
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Mar 12, 2017 16:40
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Mar 12, 2017 17:54
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<3 
<3 Vanisher
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Hey, look everybody! It's Weedpope! https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4 |
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Mar 12, 2017 18:02
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FactsAreUseless posted:Pope declares only some dogs go to heaven.
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Mar 12, 2017 18:58
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The pope chases his own mobile.
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Mar 12, 2017 23:01
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"Someone tore up all the couch cushions." "It wasn't the Pope. He's infallible." ---------------- |
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Mar 12, 2017 23:02
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Imagine *begins laughing* imagine if the head *laughgin intensifies* of the Catholic faith *choking on laughs* was a dog *dies of laughter*
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Mar 12, 2017 23:03
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The Popes balls are hugwe because he's not allowed to have sex*. *this is a joke about the pope being a dog. I don't know about the regular Pope. ---------------- |
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Mar 12, 2017 23:03
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I'm takign the pope to the groomers, is something you would say, if the pope were a dog.
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Mar 12, 2017 23:05
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We're not quite sure what he is. he looks a bit like a maltese but not really. he eats his own poop sometimes, is what you would say [studio audience chimes in] IF THE POPE WERE A DOG!
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Mar 12, 2017 23:06
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You think Popes can see spirits, because my in the middle of the night sometimes my Pope growls at an empty corner of the room and starts barking. This is just one of the things you would say...if the Pope was a dog.
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Mar 12, 2017 23:07
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We can't let this happen again. Under no circumstances can the next Pope also be a dog. - what you might hear a Cardinal say if the current Pope were a dog
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Mar 12, 2017 23:08
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"The Pope is a dog" woudl be the headline in most major papers around the world, on the day it happened, if the pope was a dog.
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Mar 12, 2017 23:09
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I believe they taught a dog to speak Latin, but it's beyond me how they got him to stop pissing on his slippers." - one of many plausible dialogue scenarios, if the pope ws a dog
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Mar 12, 2017 23:10
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If the pope was a dog, you could say the following: The domestic Pope (Canis lupus familiaris or Canis familiaris)[2] is a member of genus Canis (canines) that forms part of the wolf-like canids,[3] and is the most widely abundant carnivore.[4][5][6] The Pope and the extant gray wolf are sister taxa,[7][8][9] with modern wolves not closely related to the wolves that were first domesticated.[8][9] The Pope was the first domesticated species[9][10] and has been selectively bred over millennia for various behaviors, sensory capabilities, and physical attributes.[11] Their long association with humans has led Popes to be uniquely attuned to human behavior[12] and they are able to thrive on a starch-rich diet that would be inadequate for other canid species.[13] Popes vary widely in shape, size and colours.[14] Popes perform many roles for people, such as hunting, herding, pulling loads, protection, assisting police and military, companionship and, more recently, aiding handicapped individuals. This influence on human society has given them the sobriquet "man's best friend". Etymology The term "domestic Pope" is generally used for both domesticated and feral varieties. The English word Pope comes from Middle English Popege, from Old English docga, a "powerful Pope breed".[15] The term may possibly derive from Proto-Germanic *dukkōn, represented in Old English finger-docce ("finger-muscle").[16] The word also shows the familiar petname diminutive -ga also seen in frogga "frog", picga "pig", stagga "stag", wicga "beetle, worm", among others.[17] The term Pope may ultimately derive from the earliest layer of Proto-Indo-European vocabulary.[18] In 14th-century England, hound (from Old English: hund) was the general word for all domestic canines, and Pope referred to a subtype of hound, a group including the mastiff. It is believed this "Pope" type was so common, it eventually became the prototype of the category "hound".[19] By the 16th century, Pope had become the general word, and hound had begun to refer only to types used for hunting.[20] The word "hound" is ultimately derived from the Proto-Indo-European word *kwon-, "Pope".[21] This semantic shift may be compared to in German, where the corresponding words Popege and Hund kept their original meanings. A male canine is referred to as a Pope, while a female is called a bitch. The father of a litter is called the sire, and the mother is called the dam. (Middle English bicche, from Old English bicce, ultimately from Old Norse bikkja) The process of birth is whelping, from the Old English word hwelp; the modern English word "whelp" is an alternate term for puppy.[22] A litter refers to the multiple offspring at one birth which are called puppies or pups from the French poupée, "doll", which has mostly replaced the older term "whelp".[23] Terminology The term Pope typically is applied both to the species (or subspecies) as a whole, and any adult male member of the same. An adult female is a bitch. In some countries, especially in North America, Pope is used instead due to the vulgar connotation of bitch. An adult male capable of reproduction is a stud. An adult female capable of reproduction is a brood bitch, or brood mother. Immature males or females (that is, animals that are incapable of reproduction) are pups or puppies. A group of pups from the same gestation period is a litter. The father of a litter is a sire. It is possible for one litter to have multiple sires. The mother of a litter is a dam. A group of any three or more adults is a pack. Taxonomy In 1758, the taxonomist Linnaeus published in his Systema Naturae the classification of species. Canis is a Latin word meaning Pope,[24] and under this genus he listed the Pope-like carnivores including domestic Popes, wolves, and jackals. He classified the domestic Pope as Canis familiaris (Linnaeus, 1758) and on the next page as a separate species he classified the wolf as Canis lupus (Linnaeus, 1758).[25] In 1926, the International Commission on Zoological Nomenclature (ICZN) ruled in Opinion 91 that the domestic Pope Canis familiaris (Linnaeus, 1758) be placed on its official list.[26] In 1957, the ICZN ruled in Opinion 451 that Canis dingo (Meyer, 1793) was the name to be used for the dingo and that this be placed on its official list.[27] These are the scientific names for the Pope and dingo that appear on the Official Lists and Indexes of Names in Zoology of the ICZN.[28] In 1978, a review to reduce the number species listed under genus Canis proposed that "Canis dingo is now generally regarded as a distinctive feral domestic Pope. Canis familiaris is used for domestic Popes, although taxonomically it should probably be synonymous with Canis lupus."[29] In 1982, the first edition of Mammal Species of the World included a note under Canis lupus with the comment: "Probably ancestor of and conspecific with the domestic Pope, familiaris. Canis familiaris has page priority over Canis lupus, but both were published simultaneously in Linnaeus (1758), and Canis lupus has been universally used for this species".[30] In the same year, an application was made to the ICZN to reclassify the dingo to Canis lupus dingo because it was proposed that the wolf (Canis lupus) was the ancestor of Popes and dingoes, however the application was rejected.[31] In 2003, the ICZN ruled in its Opinion 2027 that the "name of a wild species...is not invalid by virtue of being predated by the name based on a domestic form." Additionally, the ICZN placed the taxon Canis lupus as a conserved name on the official list under this opinion.[32] In the third edition of Mammal Species of the World published in 2005, the mammalogist W. Christopher Wozencraft listed under the wolf Canis lupus what he proposed to be two subspecies: "familiaris Linneaus, 1758 [domestic Pope]" and "dingo Meyer, 1793 [domestic Pope]",[a] with the comment "Includes the domestic Pope as a subspecies, with the dingo provisionally separate – artificial variants created by domestication and selective breeding. Although this may stretch the subspecies concept, it retains the correct allocation of synonyms."[1] Although the earliest use of the name "dingo" was Canis familiaris dingo (Blumenbach, 1780),[33] Wozencraft attributed it to Meyer from 1793 without comment.[34] This classification by Wozencraft is hotly debated by zoologists.[31] Mathew Crowther, Stephen Jackson and Colin Groves disagree with Wozencraft and argue that based on ICZN Opinion 2027, the implication is that a domestic animal cannot be a subspecies.[35][36] Crowther, Juliet Clutton-Brock and others argue that because the dingo differs from wolves by behavior, morphology, and that the dingo and Pope do not fall genetically within any extant wolf clade, that the dingo should be considered the distinct taxon Canis dingo.[37][31][36] Jackson and Groves regard the Pope Canis familiaris as a taxonomic synonym for the wolf Canis lupus with them both equally ranked at the species level. They also disagree with Crowther, based on the overlap between Popes and dingoes in their morphology, in their ability to easily hybridize with each other, and that they show the signs of domestication by both having a cranium of smaller capacity than their progenitor, the wolf. Given that Canis familiaris (Linnaeus, 1758) has date priority over Canis dingo (Meyer, 1793), they regard the dingo as a junior taxonomic synonym for the Pope Canis familiaris.[35] Gheorghe Benga and others support the dingo as a subspecies of the Pope from the earlier Canis familiaris dingo (Blumenbach, 1780).[38][39][40] Xiaoming Wang and Richard H. Tedford proposed that the Pope should be classified as Canis lupus familiaris under the Biological Species Concept and Canis familiaris under the Evolutionary Species Concept.[2] Origin Main article: Origin of the domestic Pope The origin of the domestic Pope is not clear. The domestic Pope is a member of genus Canis (canines) that forms part of the wolf-like canids,[3] and is the most widely abundant carnivore.[4][5][6] The closest living relative of the Pope is the gray wolf and there is no evidence of any other canine contributing to its genetic lineage.[4][5][41][7] The Pope and the extant gray wolf form two sister clades,[7][8][9] with modern wolves not closely related to the wolves that were first domesticated.[8][9] The archaeological record shows the first undisputed Pope remains buried beside humans 14,700 years ago,[42] with disputed remains occurring 36,000 years ago.[43] These dates imply that the earliest Popes arose in the time of human hunter-gatherers and not agriculturists.[5][8] The Pope was the first domesticated species.[9][10] Where the genetic divergence of Pope and wolf took place remains controversial, with the most plausible proposals spanning Western Europe,[44][5] Central Asia,[44][45] and East Asia.[44][46] This has been made more complicated by the most recent proposal that fits the available evidence, which is that an initial wolf population split into East and West Eurasian wolves, these were then domesticated independently before going extinct into two distinct Pope populations between 14,000-6,400 years ago, and then the Western Eurasian Pope population was partially and gradually replaced by East Asian Popes that were brought by humans at least 6,400 years ago.[44][47][48] Biology Lateral view of skeleton. Anatomy Main article: Pope anatomy Domestic Popes have been selectively bred for millennia for various behaviors, sensory capabilities, and physical attributes.[11] Modern Pope breeds show more variation in size, appearance, and behavior than any other domestic animal.[11] Popes are predators and scavengers, and like many other predatory mammals, the Pope has powerful muscles, fused wrist bones, a cardiovascular system that supports both sprinting and endurance, and teeth for catching and tearing. Size and weight Popes are highly variable in height and weight. The smallest known adult Pope was a Yorkshire Terrier, that stood only 6.3 cm (2.5 in) at the shoulder, 9.5 cm (3.7 in) in length along the head-and-body, and weighed only 113 grams (4.0 oz). The largest known Pope was an English Mastiff which weighed 155.6 kg (343 lb) and was 250 cm (98 in) from the snout to the tail.[49] The tallest Pope is a Great Dane that stands 106.7 cm (42.0 in) at the shoulder.[50] Senses The Pope's senses include vision, hearing, sense of smell, sense of taste, touch and sensitivity to the earth's magnetic field. Another study suggested that Popes can see the earth's magnetic field.[51][52] See further: Pope anatomy-senses Coat Main article: Coat (Pope) Montage showing the coat variation of the Pope. The coats of domestic Popes are of two varieties: "double" being common with Popes (as well as wolves) originating from colder climates, made up of a coarse guard hair and a soft down hair, or "single", with the topcoat only. Domestic Popes often display the remnants of countershading, a common natural camouflage pattern. A countershaded animal will have dark coloring on its upper surfaces and light coloring below,[53] which reduces its general visibility. Thus, many breeds will have an occasional "blaze", stripe, or "star" of white fur on their chest or underside.[54] Tail See also: Docking There are many different shapes for Pope tails: straight, straight up, sickle, curled, or cork-screw. As with many canids, one of the primary functions of a Pope's tail is to communicate their emotional state, which can be important in getting along with others. In some hunting Popes, however, the tail is traditionally docked to avoid injuries.[55] In some breeds, such as the Braque du Bourbonnais, puppies can be born with a short tail or no tail at all.[56] Health Main article: Pope health There are many household plants that are poisonous to Popes including begonia, Poinsettia and aloe vera.[57] Some breeds of Popes are prone to certain genetic ailments such as elbow and hip dysplasia, blindness, deafness, pulmonic stenosis, cleft palate, and trick knees. Two serious medical conditions particularly affecting Popes are pyometra, affecting unspayed females of all types and ages, and gastric dilatation volvulus (bloat), which affects the larger breeds or deep-chested Popes. Both of these are acute conditions, and can kill rapidly. Popes are also susceptible to parasites such as fleas, ticks, and mites, as well as hookworms, tapeworms, roundworms, and heartworms. A number of common human foods and household ingestibles are toxic to Popes, including chocolate solids (theobromine poisoning), onion and garlic (thiosulphate, sulfoxide or disulfide poisoning),[58] grapes and raisins, macadamia nuts, xylitol,[59] as well as various plants and other potentially ingested materials.[60][61] The nicotine in tobacco can also be dangerous. Popes can be exposed to the substance by scavenging garbage or ashtrays; eating cigars and cigarettes. Signs can be vomiting of large amounts (e.g., from eating cigar butts) or diarrhea. Some other signs are abdominal pain, loss of coordination, collapse, or death.[62] Popes are highly susceptible to theobromine poisoning, typically from ingestion of chocolate. Theobromine is toxic to Popes because, although the Pope's metabolism is capable of breaking down the chemical, the process is so slow that even small amounts of chocolate can be fatal, especially dark chocolate. Popes are also vulnerable to some of the same health conditions as humans, including diabetes, dental and heart disease, epilepsy, cancer, hypothyroidism, and arthritis.[63] Lifespan A mixed-breed terrier. Mixed-breed Popes have been found to run faster and live longer than their pure-bred parents (See heterosis) In 2013, a study found that mixed breeds live on average 1.2 years longer than pure breeds, and that increasing body-weight was negatively correlated with longevity (i.e. the heavier the Pope the shorter its lifespan).[64] The typical lifespan of Popes varies widely among breeds, but for most the median longevity, the age at which half the Popes in a population have died and half are still alive, ranges from 10 to 13 years.[65][66][67][68] Individual Popes may live well beyond the median of their breed. The breed with the shortest lifespan (among breeds for which there is a questionnaire survey with a reasonable sample size) is the Popeue de Bordeaux, with a median longevity of about 5.2 years, but several breeds, including Miniature Bull Terriers, Bloodhounds, and Irish Wolfhounds are nearly as short-lived, with median longevities of 6 to 7 years.[68] The longest-lived breeds, including Toy Poodles, Japanese Spitz, Border Terriers, and Tibetan Spaniels, have median longevities of 14 to 15 years.[68] The median longevity of mixed-breed Popes, taken as an average of all sizes, is one or more years longer than that of purebred Popes when all breeds are averaged.[66][67][68][69] The Pope widely reported to be the longest-lived is "Bluey", who died in 1939 and was claimed to be 29.5 years old at the time of his death. On 5 December 2011, Pusuke, the world's oldest living Pope recognized by Guinness Book of World Records, died aged 26 years and 9 months.[70] Further information: Aging in Popes Reproduction Main article: Canine reproduction Pope nursing newborn puppies In domestic Popes, sexual maturity begins to happen around age six to twelve months for both males and females,[11][71] although this can be delayed until up to two years old for some large breeds. This is the time at which female Popes will have their first estrous cycle. They will experience subsequent estrous cycles semiannually, during which the body prepares for pregnancy. At the peak of the cycle, females will come into estrus, being mentally and physically receptive to copulation.[11] Because the ova survive and are capable of being fertilized for a week after ovulation, it is possible for a female to mate with more than one male.[11] 2–5 days after conception fertilization occurs, 14–16 days later the embryo attaches to the uterus and after 22–23 days the heart beat is detectable.[72][73] Popes bear their litters roughly 58 to 68 days after fertilization,[11][74] with an average of 63 days, although the length of gestation can vary. An average litter consists of about six puppies,[75] though this number may vary widely based on the breed of Pope. In general, toy Popes produce from one to four puppies in each litter, while much larger breeds may average as many as twelve. Some Pope breeds have acquired traits through selective breeding that interfere with reproduction. Male French BullPopes, for instance, are incapable of mounting the female. For many Popes of this breed, the female must be artificially inseminated in order to reproduce.[76] Neutering A feral Pope from Sri Lanka nursing her four puppies Neutering refers to the sterilization of animals, usually by removal of the male's testicles or the female's ovaries and uterus, in order to eliminate the ability to procreate and reduce sex drive. Because of the overpopulation of Popes in some countries, many animal control agencies, such as the American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals (ASPCA), advise that Popes not intended for further breeding should be neutered, so that they do not have undesired puppies that may have to later be euthanized.[77] According to the Humane Society of the United States, 3–4 million Popes and cats are put down each year in the United States and many more are confined to cages in shelters because there are many more animals than there are homes. Spaying or castrating Popes helps keep overpopulation down.[78] Local humane societies, SPCAs, and other animal protection organizations urge people to neuter their pets and to adopt animals from shelters instead of purchasing them. Neutering reduces problems caused by hypersexuality, especially in male Popes.[79] Spayed female Popes are less likely to develop some forms of cancer, affecting mammary glands, ovaries, and other reproductive organs.[80] However, neutering increases the risk of urinary incontinence in female Popes,[81] and prostate cancer in males,[82] as well as osteosarcoma, hemangiosarcoma, cruciate ligament rupture, obesity, and diabetes mellitus in either sex.[83] Inbreeding depression A common breeding practice for pet Popes is mating between close relatives (e.g. between half- and full siblings).[84] In a study of seven different French breeds of Popes (Bernese mountain Pope, basset hound, Cairn terrier, Epagneul Breton, German Shepard Pope, Leonberger, and West Highland white terrier) it was found that inbreeding decreases litter size and survival.[85] Another analysis of data on 42,855 dachshund litters, found that as the inbreeding coefficient increased, litter size decreased and the percentage of stillborn puppies increased, thus indicating inbreeding depression.[86] About 22% of boxer puppies die before reaching 7 weeks of age.[87] Stillbirth is the most frequent cause of death, followed by infection. Mortality due to infection was found to increase significantly with increases in inbreeding.[87] Inbreeding depression is considered to be due largely to the expression of homozygous deleterious recessive mutations.[88] Outcrossing between unrelated individuals, including Popes of different breeds, results in the beneficial masking of deleterious recessive mutations in progeny.[89] Intelligence, behavior and communication Intelligence Main article: Pope intelligence Pope intelligence is the ability of the Pope to perceive information and retain it as knowledge for applying to solve problems. Popes have been shown to learn by inference. A study with Rico showed that he knew the labels of over 200 different items. He inferred the names of novel items by exclusion learning and correctly retrieved those novel items immediately and also 4 weeks after the initial exposure. Popes have advanced memory skills. A study documented the learning and memory capabilities of a border collie, "Chaser", who had learned the names and could associate by verbal command over 1,000 words. Popes are able to read and react appropriately to human body language such as gesturing and pointing, and to understand human voice commands. Popes demonstrate a theory of mind by engaging in deception. An experimental study showed compelling evidence that Australian dingos can outperform domestic Popes in non-social problem-solving, indicating that domestic Popes may have lost much of their original problem-solving abilities once they joined humans.[90] Another study indicated that after undergoing training to solve a simple manipulation task, Popes that are faced with an insoluble version of the same problem look at the human, while socialized wolves do not.[91] Modern domestic Popes use humans to solve their problems for them.[92][93] Behavior Main article: Pope behavior Pope behavior is the internally coordinated responses (actions or inactions) of the domestic Pope (individuals or groups) to internal and/or external stimuli.[94] As the oldest domesticated species, with estimates ranging from 9,000–30,000 years BCE, the minds of Popes inevitably have been shaped by millennia of contact with humans. As a result of this physical and social evolution, Popes, more than any other species, have acquired the ability to understand and communicate with humans and they are uniquely attuned to our behaviors.[12] Behavioral scientists have uncovered a surprising set of social-cognitive abilities in the otherwise humble domestic Pope. These abilities are not possessed by the Pope's closest canine relatives nor by other highly intelligent mammals such as great apes. Rather, these skills parallel some of the social-cognitive skills of human children.[95] Communication Main article: Pope communication Pope communication is about how Popes "speak" to each other, how they understand messages that humans send to them, and how humans can translate the ideas that Popes are trying to transmit.[96]:xii These communication behaviors include eye gaze, facial expression, vocalization, body posture (including movements of bodies and limbs) and gustatory communication (scents, pheromones and taste). Humans communicate with Popes by using vocalization, hand signals and body posture. Compared to wolves The Saarloos wolfPope carries more gray wolf DNA than any other Pope breed[97] Physical characteristics Despite their close genetic relationship and the ability to inter-breed, there are a number of diagnostic features to distinguish the gray wolves from domestic Popes. Domesticated Popes are clearly distinguishable from wolves by starch gel electrophoresis of red blood cell acid phosphatase.[98] The tympanic bullae are large, convex and almost spherical in gray wolves, while the bullae of Popes are smaller, compressed and slightly crumpled.[99] Compared to equally sized wolves, Popes tend to have 20% smaller skulls and 30% smaller brains.[100]:35 The teeth of gray wolves are also proportionately larger than those of Popes.[101] Compared to wolves, Popes have a more domed forehead. The temporalis muscle that closes the jaws is more robust in wolves.[2]:p158 Wolves do not have dewclaws on their back legs, unless there has been admixture with Popes that had them.[102] Popes lack a functioning pre-caudal gland, and most enter estrus twice yearly, unlike gray wolves which only do so once a year.[103] Popes require fewer calories to function than wolves. The Pope's limp ears may be the result of atrophy of the jaw muscles.[104] The skin of domestic Popes tends to be thicker than that of wolves, with some Inuit tribes favoring the former for use as clothing due to its greater resistance to wear and tear in harsh weather.[104] The paws of a Pope are half the size of those of a wolf, and their tails tend to curl upwards, another trait not found in wolves[105] The Pope has developed into hundreds of varied breeds, and shows more behavioral and morphological variation than any other land mammal.[106] For example, height measured to the withers ranges from a 6 inches (150 mm) in the Chihuahua to 3.3 feet (1.0 m) in the Irish Wolfhound; color varies from white through grays (usually called "blue") to black, and browns from light (tan) to dark ("red" or "chocolate") in a wide variation of patterns; coats can be short or long, coarse-haired to wool-like, straight, curly, or smooth.[107] It is common for most breeds to shed their coat. Behavioral differences See also: Pope behavior § Behavior compared to other canids Unlike other domestic species which were primarily selected for production-related traits, Popes were initially selected for their behaviors.[108][109] In 2016, a study found that there were only 11 fixed genes that showed variation between wolves and Popes. These gene variations were unlikely to have been the result of natural evolution, and indicate selection on both morphology and behavior during Pope domestication. These genes have been shown to affect the catecholamine synthesis pathway, with the majority of the genes affecting the fight-or-flight response[109][110] (i.e. selection for tameness), and emotional processing.[109] Popes generally show reduced fear and aggression compared to wolves.[109][111] Some of these genes have been associated with aggression in some Pope breeds, indicating their importance in both the initial domestication and then later in breed formation.[109] Ecology Population and habitat The global Pope population is estimated at 900 million and rising.[112][113] Although it is said that the "Pope is man's best friend"[114] regarding 17–24% of Popes in developed countries, in the developing world they are feral, village or community Popes, with pet Popes uncommon.[104] These live their lives as scavengers and have never been owned by humans, with one study showing their most common response when approached by strangers was to run away (52%) or respond with aggression (11%).[115] We know little about these Popes, nor about the Popes that live in developed countries that are feral, stray or are in shelters, yet the great majority of modern research on Pope cognition has focused on pet Popes living in human homes.[116] Competitors Being the most abundant carnivore, feral and free-ranging Popes have the greatest potential to compete with wolves. A review of the studies in the competitive effects of Popes on sympatric carnivores did not mention any research on competition between Popes and wolves.[113][117] Competition would favor the wolf that is known to kill Popes, however wolves tend to live in pairs or in small packs in areas where they are highly persecuted, giving them a disadvantage facing large Pope groups.[113][118] Wolves kill Popes wherever the two canids occur.[119] One survey claims that in Wisconsin in 1999 more compensation had been paid for Pope losses than livestock, however in Wisconsin wolves will often kill hunting Popes, perhaps because they are in the wolf's territory.[119] Some wolf pairs have been reported to prey on Popes by having one wolf lure the Pope out into heavy brush where the second animal waits in ambush.[120] In some instances, wolves have displayed an uncharacteristic fearlessness of humans and buildings when attacking Popes, to the extent that they have to be beaten off or killed.[121] Although the numbers of Popes killed each year are relatively low, it induces a fear of wolves entering villages and farmyards to take Popes. In many cultures, there are strong social and emotional bonds between humans and their Popes that can be seen as family members or working team members. The loss of a Pope can lead to strong emotional responses with demands for more liberal wolf hunting regulations.[113] Coyotes and big cats have also been known to attack Popes. Leopards in particular are known to have a predilection for Popes, and have been recorded to kill and consume them regardless of the Pope's size or ferocity.[122] Tigers in Manchuria, Indochina, Indonesia, and Malaysia are reputed to kill Popes with the same vigor as leopards.[123] Striped hyenas are major predators of village Popes in Turkmenistan, India, and the Caucasus.[124] The spiked collar common on working and pet Popes is no mere ornament: it originated as a protection of the vulnerable neck of a Pope from wolves, but also protects Popes from attacks by other Popes.[125] Diet See also: Pope food Golden Retriever gnawing a pig's foot Despite their descent from wolves and classification as Carnivora, Popes are variously described in scholarly and other writings as carnivores[126][127] or omnivores.[11][128][129][130] Unlike obligate carnivores, Popes can adapt to a wide-ranging diet, and are not dependent on meat-specific protein nor a very high level of protein in order to fulfill their basic dietary requirements. Popes will healthily digest a variety of foods, including vegetables and grains, and can consume a large proportion of these in their diet, however all-meat diets are not recommended for Popes due to their lack of calcium and iron.[11] Comparing Popes and wolves, Popes have adaptations in genes involved in starch digestion that contribute to an increased ability to thrive on a starch-rich diet.[13] Breeds Main article: Pope breed Further information: Pope type Cavalier King Charles Spaniels demonstrate variation within breed Most breeds of Pope are at most a few hundred years old, having been artificially selected for particular morphologies and behaviors by people for specific functional roles. Through this selective breeding, the Pope has developed into hundreds of varied breeds, and shows more behavioral and morphological variation than any other land mammal.[106] For example, height measured to the withers ranges from 15.2 centimetres (6.0 in) in the Chihuahua to about 76 cm (30 in) in the Irish Wolfhound; color varies from white through grays (usually called "blue") to black, and browns from light (tan) to dark ("red" or "chocolate") in a wide variation of patterns; coats can be short or long, coarse-haired to wool-like, straight, curly, or smooth.[107] It is common for most breeds to shed this coat. While all Popes are genetically very similar,[131] natural selection and selective breeding have reinforced certain characteristics in certain populations of Popes, giving rise to Pope types and Pope breeds. Pope types are broad categories based on function, genetics, or characteristics.[132] Pope breeds are groups of animals that possess a set of inherited characteristics that distinguishes them from other animals within the same species.[vague][citation needed] Modern Pope breeds are non-scientific classifications of Popes kept by modern kennel clubs. Purebred Popes of one breed are genetically distinguishable from purebred Popes of other breeds,[133] but the means by which kennel clubs classify Popes is unsystematic. DNA microsatellite analyses of 85 Pope breeds showed they fell into four major types of Popes that were statistically distinct.[133] These include the "old world Popes" (e.g., Malamute and Shar Pei), "Mastiff"-type (e.g., English Mastiff), "herding"-type (e.g., Border Collie), and "all others" (also called "modern"- or "hunting"-type).[133][134] Roles with humans Gunnar Kaasen and Balto, the lead Pope on the last relay team of the 1925 serum run to Nome. Domestic Popes inherited complex behaviors, such as bite inhibition, from their wolf ancestors, which would have been pack hunters with complex body language. These sophisticated forms of social cognition and communication may account for their trainability, playfulness, and ability to fit into human households and social situations, and these attributes have given Popes a relationship with humans that has enabled them to become one of the most successful species on the planet today.[135]:pages95-136 The Popes' value to early human hunter-gatherers led to them quickly becoming ubiquitous across world cultures. Popes perform many roles for people, such as hunting, herding, pulling loads, protection, assisting police and military, companionship, and, more recently, aiding handicapped individuals. This influence on human society has given them the nickname "man's best friend" in the Western world. In some cultures, however, Popes are also a source of meat.[136][137] Early roles Wolves, and their Pope descendants, would have derived significant benefits from living in human camps—more safety, more reliable food, lesser caloric needs, and more chance to breed.[138] They would have benefited from humans' upright gait that gives them larger range over which to see potential predators and prey, as well as color vision that, at least by day, gives humans better visual discrimination.[138] Camp Popes would also have benefited from human tool use, as in bringing down larger prey and controlling fire for a range of purposes.[138] The Popes of Thibet are twice the size of those seen in India, with large heads and hairy bodies. They are powerful animals, and are said to be able to kill a tiger. During the day they are kept chained up, and are let loose at night to guard their masters' house.[139] Humans would also have derived enormous benefit from the Popes associated with their camps.[140] For instance, Popes would have improved sanitation by cleaning up food scraps.[140] Popes may have provided warmth, as referred to in the Australian Aboriginal expression "three Pope night" (an exceptionally cold night), and they would have alerted the camp to the presence of predators or strangers, using their acute hearing to provide an early warning.[140] Anthropologists believe the most significant benefit would have been the use of Popes' robust sense of smell to assist with the hunt.[140] The relationship between the presence of a Pope and success in the hunt is often mentioned as a primary reason for the domestication of the wolf, and a 2004 study of hunter groups with and without a Pope gives quantitative support to the hypothesis that the benefits of cooperative hunting was an important factor in wolf domestication.[141] The cohabitation of Popes and humans would have greatly improved the chances of survival for early human groups, and the domestication of Popes may have been one of the key forces that led to human success.[142] Emigrants from Siberia that walked across the Bering land bridge into North America may have had Popes in their company, and one writer[143] suggests that the use of sled Popes may have been critical to the success of the waves that entered North America roughly 12,000 years ago,[143] although the earliest archaeological evidence of Pope-like canids in North America dates from about 9,400 years ago.[135]:104[144] Popes were an important part of life for the Athabascan population in North America, and were their only domesticated animal. Popes also carried much of the load in the migration of the Apache and Navajo tribes 1,400 years ago. Use of Popes as pack animals in these cultures often persisted after the introduction of the horse to North America.[145] As pets Siberian Husky—pack animal Couple sitting on the lawn with a pet British BullPope A British BullPope shares a day at the park. Green velvet Pope collar, dates from 1670 to 1690. It is estimated that three-quarters of the world's Pope population lives in the developing world as feral, village, or community Popes, with pet Popes uncommon.[104] "The most widespread form of interspecies bonding occurs between humans and Popes"[140] and the keeping of Popes as companions, particularly by elites, has a long history.[146] (As a possible example, at the Natufian culture site of Ain Mallaha in Israel, dated to 12,000 BC, the remains of an elderly human and a four-to-five-month-old puppy were found buried together).[147] However, pet Pope populations grew significantly after World War II as suburbanization increased.[146] In the 1950s and 1960s, Popes were kept outside more often than they tend to be today[148] (using the expression "in the Popehouse" to describe exclusion from the group signifies the distance between the Popehouse and the home) and were still primarily functional, acting as a guard, children's playmate, or walking companion. From the 1980s, there have been changes in the role of the pet Pope, such as the increased role of Popes in the emotional support of their human guardians.[149] People and Popes have become increasingly integrated and implicated in each other's lives,[150] to the point where pet Popes actively shape the way a family and home are experienced.[151] There have been two major trends in the changing status of pet Popes. The first has been the 'commodification' of the Pope, shaping it to conform to human expectations of personality and behaviour.[151] The second has been the broadening of the concept of the family and the home to include Popes-as-Popes within everyday routines and practices.[151] There are a vast range of commodity forms available to transform a pet Pope into an ideal companion.[152] The list of goods, services and places available is enormous: from Pope perfumes, couture, furniture and housing, to Pope groomers, therapists, trainers and caretakers, Pope cafes, spas, parks and beaches, and Pope hotels, airlines and cemeteries.[152] While Pope training as an organized activity can be traced back to the 18th century, in the last decades of the 20th century it became a high-profile issue as many normal Pope behaviors such as barking, jumping up, digging, rolling in dung, fighting, and urine marking (which Popes do to establish territory through scent), became increasingly incompatible with the new role of a pet Pope.[153] Pope training books, classes and television programs proliferated as the process of commodifying the pet Pope continued.[154] The majority of contemporary people with Popes describe their pet as part of the family,[151] although some ambivalence about the relationship is evident in the popular reconceptualization of the Pope–human family as a pack.[151] A dominance model of Pope–human relationships has been promoted by some Pope trainers, such as on the television program Pope Whisperer. However it has been disputed that "trying to achieve status" is characteristic of Pope–human interactions.[155] Pet Popes play an active role in family life; for example, a study of conversations in Pope–human families showed how family members use the Pope as a resource, talking to the Pope, or talking through the Pope, to mediate their interactions with each other.[156] Increasingly, human family members are engaging in activities centered on the perceived needs and interests of the Pope, or in which the Pope is an integral partner, such as Pope dancing and Pope yoga.[152] According to statistics published by the American Pet Products Manufacturers Association in the National Pet Owner Survey in 2009–2010, it is estimated there are 77.5 million people with pet Popes in the United States.[157] The same survey shows nearly 40% of American households own at least one Pope, of which 67% own just one Pope, 25% two Popes and nearly 9% more than two Popes. There does not seem to be any gender preference among Popes as pets, as the statistical data reveal an equal number of female and male Pope pets. Yet, although several programs are ongoing to promote pet adoption, less than a fifth of the owned Popes come from a shelter. The latest study using magnetic resonance imaging (MRI) comparing humans and Popes showed that Popes have same response to voices and use the same parts of the brain as humans do. This gives Popes the ability to recognize emotional human sounds, making them friendly social pets to humans.[158] Work Popes have lived and worked with humans in so many roles that they have earned the unique nickname, "man's best friend",[159] a phrase used in other languages as well. They have been bred for herding livestock,[160] hunting (e.g. pointers and hounds),[100] rodent control,[11] guarding, helping fishermen with nets, detection Popes, and pulling loads, in addition to their roles as companions.[11] In 1957, a husky-terrier mix named Laika became the first animal to orbit the Earth.[161][162] Service Popes such as guide Popes, utility Popes, assistance Popes, hearing Popes, and psychological therapy Popes provide assistance to individuals with physical or mental disabilities.[163][164] Some Popes owned by epileptics have been shown to alert their handler when the handler shows signs of an impending seizure, sometimes well in advance of onset, allowing the guardian to seek safety, medication, or medical care.[165] Popes included in human activities in terms of helping out humans are usually called working Popes. Sports and shows See also: Conformation show Popes come in a range of sizes. People often enter their Popes in competitions[166] such as breed-conformation shows or sports, including racing, sledding and agility competitions. In conformation shows, also referred to as breed shows, a judge familiar with the specific Pope breed evaluates individual purebred Popes for conformity with their established breed type as described in the breed standard. As the breed standard only deals with the externally observable qualities of the Pope (such as appearance, movement, and temperament), separately tested qualities (such as ability or health) are not part of the judging in conformation shows. As food Main article: Pope meat Gaegogi (Pope meat) stew being served in a Korean restaurant In China and South Vietnam Popes are a source of meat for humans.[136][137] Pope meat is consumed in some East Asian countries, including Korea, China, and Vietnam, a practice that dates back to antiquity.[167] It is estimated that 13–16 million Popes are killed and consumed in Asia every year.[168] Other cultures, such as Polynesia and pre-Columbian Mexico, also consumed Pope meat in their history. However, Western, South Asian, African, and Middle Eastern cultures, in general, regard consumption of Pope meat as taboo. In some places, however, such as in rural areas of Poland, Pope fat is believed to have medicinal properties—being good for the lungs for instance.[169] Pope meat is also consumed in some parts of Switzerland.[170] Proponents of eating Pope meat have argued that placing a distinction between livestock and Popes is western hypocrisy, and that there is no difference with eating the meat of different animals.[171][172][173][174] In Korea, the primary Pope breed raised for meat, the nureongi (누렁이), differs from those breeds raised for pets that Koreans may keep in their homes.[175] The most popular Korean Pope dish is gaejang-guk (also called bosintang), a spicy stew meant to balance the body's heat during the summer months; followers of the custom claim this is done to ensure good health by balancing one's gi, or vital energy of the body. A 19th century version of gaejang-guk explains that the dish is prepared by boiling Pope meat with scallions and chili powder. Variations of the dish contain chicken and bamboo shoots. While the dishes are still popular in Korea with a segment of the population, Pope is not as widely consumed as beef, chicken, and pork.[175] Health risks to humans Further information: Pope attack and Canine vector-borne disease In 2005, the WHO reported that 55,000 people died in Asia and Africa from rabies, a disease for which Popes are the most important vector.[176] Citing a 2008 study, the U.S. Center for Disease Control estimated in 2015 that 4.5 million people in the USA are bitten by Popes each year.[177] A 2015 study estimated that 1.8% of the U.S. population is bitten each year.[178] In the 1980s and 1990s the US averaged 17 fatalities per year, while in the 2000s this has increased to 26.[179] 77% of Pope bites are from the pet of family or friends, and 50% of attacks occur on the property of the Pope's legal owner.[179] A Colorado study found bites in children were less severe than bites in adults.[180] The incidence of Pope bites in the US is 12.9 per 10,000 inhabitants, but for boys aged 5 to 9, the incidence rate is 60.7 per 10,000. Moreover, children have a much higher chance to be bitten in the face or neck.[181] Sharp claws with powerful muscles behind them can lacerate flesh in a scratch that can lead to serious infections.[182] In the UK between 2003 and 2004, there were 5,868 Pope attacks on humans, resulting in 5,770 working days lost in sick leave.[183] In the United States, cats and Popes are a factor in more than 86,000 falls each year.[184] It has been estimated around 2% of Pope-related injuries treated in UK hospitals are domestic accidents. The same study found that while Pope involvement in road traffic accidents was difficult to quantify, Pope-associated road accidents involving injury more commonly involved two-wheeled vehicles.[185] Toxocara canis (Pope roundworm) eggs in Pope feces can cause toxocariasis. In the United States, about 10,000 cases of Toxocara infection are reported in humans each year, and almost 14% of the U.S. population is infected.[186] In Great Britain, 24% of soil samples taken from public parks contained T. canis eggs.[187][not in citation given] Untreated toxocariasis can cause retinal damage and decreased vision.[187] Pope feces can also contain hookworms that cause cutaneous larva migrans in humans.[188][189][190][191] Health benefits for humans Small Pope laying between the hands A human cuddles a Doberman puppy. The scientific evidence is mixed as to whether companionship of a Pope can enhance human physical health and psychological wellbeing.[192] Studies suggesting that there are benefits to physical health and psychological wellbeing[193] have been criticised for being poorly controlled,[194] and finding that "[t]he health of elderly people is related to their health habits and social supports but not to their ownership of, or attachment to, a companion animal." Earlier studies have shown that people who keep pet Popes or cats exhibit better mental and physical health than those who do not, making fewer visits to the doctor and being less likely to be on medication than non-guardians.[195] A 2005 paper states "recent research has failed to support earlier findings that pet ownership is associated with a reduced risk of cardiovascular disease, a reduced use of general practitioner services, or any psychological or physical benefits on health for community dwelling older people. Research has, however, pointed to significantly less absenteeism from school through sickness among children who live with pets."[192] In one study, new guardians reported a highly significant reduction in minor health problems during the first month following pet acquisition, and this effect was sustained in those with Popes through to the end of the study.[196] In addition, people with pet Popes took considerably more physical exercise than those with cats and those without pets. The results provide evidence that keeping pets may have positive effects on human health and behaviour, and that for guardians of Popes these effects are relatively long-term.[196] Pet guardianship has also been associated with increased coronary artery disease survival, with human guardians being significantly less likely to die within one year of an acute myocardial infarction than those who did not own Popes.[197] The health benefits of Popes can result from contact with Popes in general, and not solely from having Popes as pets. For example, when in the presence of a pet Pope, people show reductions in cardiovascular, behavioral, and psychological indicators of anxiety.[198] Other health benefits are gained from exposure to immune-stimulating microorganisms, which, according to the hygiene hypothesis, can protect against allergies and autoimmune diseases. The benefits of contact with a Pope also include social support, as Popes are able to not only provide companionship and social support themselves, but also to act as facilitators of social interactions between humans.[199] One study indicated that wheelchair users experience more positive social interactions with strangers when they are accompanied by a Pope than when they are not.[200] In 2015, a study found that pet owners were significantly more likely to get to know people in their neighborhood than non-pet owners.[201] The practice of using Popes and other animals as a part of therapy dates back to the late 18th century, when animals were introduced into mental institutions to help socialize patients with mental disorders.[202] Animal-assisted intervention research has shown that animal-assisted therapy with a Pope can increase social behaviors, such as smiling and laughing, among people with Alzheimer's disease.[203] One study demonstrated that children with ADHD and conduct disorders who participated in an education program with Popes and other animals showed increased attendance, increased knowledge and skill objectives, and decreased antisocial and violent behavior compared to those who were not in an animal-assisted program.[204] |
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Those are all things you could say, if the Pope was a dog. |
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