what if the pope was a dog?

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cda: by Hand Knit

The Pup Pope

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# ? Mar 12, 2017 23:19

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# ? May 21, 2024 03:41

cda: by Hand Knit

Pup*

*pronounced "pope"

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# ? Mar 12, 2017 23:19

cda: by Hand Knit

Pope-peroni, original beef flavor

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# ? Mar 12, 2017 23:20

cda: by Hand Knit

"The Pope has an amazing sense of smell and he can smell your dick from like 600 yards away so he knows for sure if you're a virgin or not."

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# ? Mar 12, 2017 23:21

Rushi: by Smythe

the pope would eat dog food hahaha

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# ? Mar 12, 2017 23:41

cda: by Hand Knit

Rushi posted:

the pope would eat dog food hahaha

lol

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# ? Mar 12, 2017 23:45

FactsAreUseless

Rushi posted:

the pope would eat dog food hahaha

Note: This is contrast to his normal food (people).

# ? Mar 13, 2017 00:03

FactsAreUseless

That is to say, his normal food is people food instead of dog.

# ? Mar 13, 2017 00:04

FactsAreUseless

Edit: He would eat food served to people, not food served to dogs.

# ? Mar 13, 2017 00:04

FactsAreUseless

The above remains ambiguous. The Pope always eats food served to people, as he is a person. Food served to dogs would be eaten by dogs, but it might be the same food.

# ? Mar 13, 2017 00:04

FactsAreUseless

It is, however, possible that the pope would steal food (human) from a dog.

# ? Mar 13, 2017 00:05

FactsAreUseless

Again, I want to be clear. Human food, not human food. That is, food for, not of, humans. Unless the pope was a dog (see comic premise) in which case he might eat humans. Given the Vatican's occasionally unsavory (unsavoury) history, this would not be wholly out of character.

# ? Mar 13, 2017 00:05

FactsAreUseless

In conclusion:

The Pope (real) eats human food (food for humans, which may or may not be dog).
The Pope (comic) eats dog food (food for dogs, which may or may not be human).

Thank you for your patience at this trying time.

# ? Mar 13, 2017 00:07

cda: by Hand Knit

Pope looking at his nametag in the mirror: Woah.

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# ? Mar 13, 2017 00:18

Twenty Four

Sounds like a bunch of dogma to me.

# ? Mar 13, 2017 00:57

Rushi: by Smythe

wait do you mean a popedog like catdog??? where would it poop :/

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# ? Mar 13, 2017 01:14

Rushi: by Smythe

Rushi posted:

wait do you mean a popedog like catdog??? where would it pope:/

# ? Mar 13, 2017 01:15

cda: by Hand Knit

You could play fetch with the Pope, if the pope was a dog.

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# ? Mar 13, 2017 03:53

Sing Along: by Athanatos

FactsAreUseless posted:

Pope declares only some dogs go to heaven.

is this a hypothetical or is this just the way things have always been?

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# ? Mar 13, 2017 05:14

Nosfereefer: IF YOU FIND THIS POSTER OUTSIDE BYOB, PLEASE RETURN THEM. WE ARE VERY WORRIED AND WE MISS THEM

does the pope poo poo in the woods? not if he isnt housebroken he doesnt

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

# ? Mar 13, 2017 14:17

FutonForensic

to be the Dog Pope, it is not enough to be a good boy; in the eyes of the Lord, you must be the Best Boy

# ? Mar 13, 2017 14:38

Chill la Chill: Don't lose your gay

what if the pepe was a dog?

Apparently I'm #1 Kotori fan

_{_{thank you matoi and vanisher for the sigs, lovely dad for the cool av}}

# ? Mar 13, 2017 15:24

vanisher

The best boys go to a special gated park away from society to vote on who will become the next Dope (dog pope).

# ? Mar 13, 2017 20:09

MrWillsauce

vanisher posted:

The best boys go to a special gated park away from society to vote on who will become the next Dope (dog pope).

# ? Mar 13, 2017 21:58

Rushi: by Smythe

FactsAreUseless posted:

In conclusion:

The Pope (real) eats human food (food for humans, which may or may not be dog).
The Pope (comic) eats dog food (food for dogs, which may or may not be human).

Thank you for your patience at this trying time.

*pretends to take notes but draws pope dog with a jetpack*

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# ? Mar 14, 2017 04:33

Mariana Horchata

Dog Pope shits on the floor of the vestibule

*turd becomes a venerated relic*

# ? Mar 15, 2017 02:10

little munchkin

I can't think of anything that would change if the pope was a dog, op.

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# ? Mar 15, 2017 02:15

Robot Made of Meat

Rushi posted:

*pretends to take notes but draws pope dog with a jetpack*

I am so waiting to see a Rushi tiny popedog with a jetpack.

Thanks to Manifisto for the sig!

# ? Mar 15, 2017 03:00

Space Taxi

All Catholic churches would have a doggie door.

Peeing on stuff would be a type of blessing.

Parishioners would get baptised in a flea bath.

Child sex allegations would still get swept under the rug.

Space Taxi fucked around with this message at 11:02 on Mar 15, 2017

# ? Mar 15, 2017 09:13

Android Blues

cda posted:

We're not quite sure what he is. he looks a bit like a maltese but not really. he eats his own poop sometimes, is what you would say [studio audience chimes in] IF THE POPE WERE A DOG!

cda posted:

We can't let this happen again. Under no circumstances can the next Pope also be a dog. - what you might hear a Cardinal say if the current Pope were a dog

cda posted:

"The Pope is a dog" woudl be the headline in most major papers around the world, on the day it happened, if the pope was a dog.

FactsAreUseless posted:

Pope declares only some dogs go to heaven.

# ? Mar 15, 2017 09:30

Android Blues

The pope would be unable to give edicts, or issue reassurance in times of world trouble, as he would be a dog. The pope would have no stance on gay rights.

# ? Mar 15, 2017 09:43

Android Blues

The pope who was a dog (if he was) would be under-informed theologically and likely would have no strong background in scholarship. The dog pope wouldn't know thing loving one about the Nicene Creed. If you left the pope at home for too long, he would urinate somewhere. Baptising the dog would also be a gently caress and a half.

# ? Mar 15, 2017 09:46

Android Blues

"Martin Luther? Thomas Aquinas? I don't know much about that. I'm just a dog." - enemy bishop doing a scathing impression of the dog pope that has all his peers furrowing their brows seditiously

# ? Mar 15, 2017 09:47

Android Blues

Dog pope murdered as "Vatican City Coup" moves from discontent into bloodshed. Several key clerics indicated. The pope will be kept in a food grade freezer for two days until he can be incinerated, sources say.

# ? Mar 15, 2017 09:50

Space Taxi

The power of Christ compels you... to rub my belly.

# ? Mar 15, 2017 10:44

Space Taxi

The Nazi gold in the Vatican vaults would be recast into doggie bowls.

He'd get kicked out of the Illuminati for tracking mud into the meeting chamber.

The last five popes have been lizards, might as well try a dog.

Space Taxi fucked around with this message at 11:53 on Mar 15, 2017

# ? Mar 15, 2017 11:03

cda: by Hand Knit

Android Blues posted:

The pope who was a dog (if he was) would be under-informed theologically and likely would have no strong background in scholarship. The dog pope wouldn't know thing loving one about the Nicene Creed. If you left the pope at home for too long, he would urinate somewhere. Baptising the dog would also be a gently caress and a half.

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# ? Mar 15, 2017 13:42

cda: by Hand Knit

Android Blues posted:

"Martin Luther? Thomas Aquinas? I don't know much about that. I'm just a dog." - enemy bishop doing a scathing impression of the dog pope that has all his peers furrowing their brows seditiously

lol

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# ? Mar 15, 2017 13:43

cda: by Hand Knit

You're trying to think of all the angles, if the Pope was a dog. Trying to anticipate the problems of having a dog Pope. Sun Tzu said that the best way to win a battle is before you ever reach the battlefield and you're committed to this concept of a dog Pope. Start by making sure the Cardinals are dog people and not cat people. Get the current Pope to say that dogs have souls. Bring Your Dog to Mass Sundays around the world. Start the process to get Lassie canonized and raise the profile of Saint Bernard. Classify the Iditarod as a pilgrimage. You've got a lot of good ideas, but here's what you need to understand: You can't possibly anticipate what would happen if the Pope was a dog and you shouldn't even try. Because it would be loving crazy if the Pope was a dog.

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# ? Mar 15, 2017 13:48

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# ? May 21, 2024 03:41

cda: by Hand Knit

Nate Silver: there is basically no way that a dog becomes Pope.

*after the dog becomes Pope*

Nate Silver: Between this and the Browns winning the Superbowl, I'm done. Stick a God drat fork in me. I'm making GBS threads bricks here, about having a dog Pope.

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# ? Mar 15, 2017 13:51

The Something Awful Forums > Main > BYOB: BYOB BYOB BOYB BBOY YOBB YBOB BBYO?? > what if the pope was a dog?

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