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Conservative Catholics: Married men becoming priests? Gays can take communion now? What's next? A dog becoming Pope? Liberal Catholics: Exactly. ---------------- |
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Mar 15, 2017 13:54
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Episcopal church follows suit, installs the Barksbishop of Canterbury.
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Mar 15, 2017 14:13
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ME reading the newspaper: A dog has been Pope for two years now and it still shocks me every time I'm reminded of it.
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Mar 15, 2017 14:14
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cda posted:You're trying to think of all the angles, if the Pope was a dog. Trying to anticipate the problems of having a dog Pope. Sun Tzu said that the best way to win a battle is before you ever reach the battlefield and you're committed to this concept of a dog Pope. Start by making sure the Cardinals are dog people and not cat people. Get the current Pope to say that dogs have souls. Bring Your Dog to Mass Sundays around the world. Start the process to get Lassie canonized and raise the profile of Saint Bernard. Classify the Iditarod as a pilgrimage. You've got a lot of good ideas, but here's what you need to understand: You can't possibly anticipate what would happen if the Pope was a dog and you shouldn't even try. Because it would be loving crazy if the Pope was a dog. |
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Mar 15, 2017 14:25
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[Context for this scene: It takes place in a universe much like our own, but where the Pope is a dog] Man in a hospital: I get my liquids intravenously now, because of all the spit takes I was doing every time I remembered that the Pope is a dog. ---------------- |
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Mar 15, 2017 14:26
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*logs into BYOB, sees thread titled "what if the pope was a man?* me: lol *cracks knuckles* time to get to work on this insane premise. ---------------- |
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Mar 15, 2017 14:27
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Dog bites man, not a good news story. Pope bites man, now that's a good news story.
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Mar 15, 2017 14:28
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Latest edict of Pope Dogedict VI: In church-sanctioned exorcisms, all projectile vomit must be eaten. |
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Mar 15, 2017 14:56
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Android Blues posted:The pope would be unable to give edicts, or issue reassurance in times of world trouble, as he would be a dog. The pope would have no stance on gay rights. Android Blues posted:The pope who was a dog (if he was) would be under-informed theologically and likely would have no strong background in scholarship. The dog pope wouldn't know thing loving one about the Nicene Creed. If you left the pope at home for too long, he would urinate somewhere. Baptising the dog would also be a gently caress and a half. lmao |
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Mar 15, 2017 14:59
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cda posted:You're trying to think of all the angles, if the Pope was a dog. Trying to anticipate the problems of having a dog Pope. Sun Tzu said that the best way to win a battle is before you ever reach the battlefield and you're committed to this concept of a dog Pope. Start by making sure the Cardinals are dog people and not cat people. Get the current Pope to say that dogs have souls. Bring Your Dog to Mass Sundays around the world. Start the process to get Lassie canonized and raise the profile of Saint Bernard. Classify the Iditarod as a pilgrimage. You've got a lot of good ideas, but here's what you need to understand: You can't possibly anticipate what would happen if the Pope was a dog and you shouldn't even try. Because it would be loving crazy if the Pope was a dog. |
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Mar 15, 2017 15:00
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They're good popes, Brent
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Mar 15, 2017 17:02
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Mariana Horchata posted:Dog Pope shits on the floor of the vestibule |
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Mar 15, 2017 17:12
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"chase not lest ye be chased yourselves" -- pope Good Boy II
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Mar 15, 2017 17:13
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Latest edict of Pope Dogedict VI: Purgatory is now "a farm upstate" |
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Mar 15, 2017 17:43
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dog pope sanctifies, desecrates holy water
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Mar 15, 2017 17:45
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Mar 15, 2017 18:31
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Mar 15, 2017 19:17
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Mar 15, 2017 19:36
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PONTIFEX BONVS EST |
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Mar 15, 2017 20:01
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post in this thread every time you lol that the pope is a dog |
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Mar 15, 2017 22:11
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the newest pope has chosen the name of Saint Bernard, the patron saint of being a Saint Bernard. |
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Mar 15, 2017 22:12
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in a controversial move, the cross-shaped hand gesture has officially been replaced with face licking by Saint Bernard. |
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Mar 15, 2017 22:17
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If the pope was a dog, he'd chase the pope mobile rather than riding in it. |
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Mar 15, 2017 22:39
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Barking Gecko posted:If the pope was a dog, he'd chase the pope mobile rather than riding in it. https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3813147&userid=159477#post470256582 ---------------- |
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Mar 16, 2017 00:19
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instead of riding in the car that is driven for the pope containing the pope, the dog if he was a pope would run after it, and chase it, compromising his security in huge ways, leaving him vulnerable to assassination. pretty original insight from me, Android Blues |
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Mar 16, 2017 01:08
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see, instead of being in the car and being safe, he would be behind the car. and if he was in the car - get this - he'd probably stick his head out of the window |
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Mar 16, 2017 01:09
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Android Blues posted:see, instead of being in the car and being safe, he would be behind the car. and if he was in the car - get this - he'd probably stick his head out of the window ---------------- |
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Mar 16, 2017 01:12
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Android Blues posted:see, instead of being in the car and being safe, he would be behind the car. and if he was in the car - get this - he'd probably stick his head out of the window Paging joke_explainer . . .
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Mar 16, 2017 01:32
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Latest edict of Pope Dogedict VI: The church is still against gay marriage. Leg humping: ok |
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Mar 16, 2017 05:56
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in case you're wondering how to "get in" to this thread when so many good jokes have been told about what if the pope was a dog, take this humble suggestion from me: very few posters have yet decided what breed of dog the pope would be, and there are many breed-specific jokes to make, like if the pope was a pitbull vs. if the pope was a chihuaha
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Mar 16, 2017 14:58
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you might also consider specific famous dogs like Lassie, Old Yeller, or Spuds MacKenzie. or McGruff, who is a detective but there's no law that says that a detective can't be a Pope. Or Scooby Doo. There are many famous dogs that could be Pope, if the Pope was a dog, and I beg you not to think too hard about plausibility. We are all suspending disbelief here so as to engage in gentle japery
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Mar 16, 2017 15:00
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another vein of humor: a freaky friday situation where the Pope becomes a dog, rather than the a dog being made into Pope.
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Mar 16, 2017 15:01
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Pope: I wish I could be like you, Scruffy. Living a life with no worries and no cares, not having to forgive anyone's sins, humping everything that moves. Scruffy: It's hard being the Pope's dog. He's always traveling and there are a lot of stairs in the Vatican that are hard on my hips. I wish God would show the Pope what it's like to be me. God: DONE. ---------------- |
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Mar 16, 2017 15:05
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what if ron popeil was a dog?
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Mar 16, 2017 16:30
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VILLAGER #1: Lassie is the Pope now. VILLAGER #2: That's what I heard. She's the Pope. VILLAGER #1: I thought Lassie was a boy. VILLAGER #2: So did the College of Cardinals, apparently, but I looked it up on Wikipedia. VILLAGER #1: Fail. [CUT TO: Vatican. A flustered Swiss Guard enters] SWISS GUARD: Your excellency, Jesus is trapped down a well! POPE LASSIE: Bark bark bark! SWISS GUARD: Yes, your excellency, I'll lead you right to him. [CUT TO: Exterior, WELL. POPE LASSIE and SWISS GUARD are standing next to the well] SWISS GUARD: Here's the Well. Jesus is inside. JESUS [muffled]: Help me, Father! POPE LASSIE: Bark bark? SWISS GUARD: This well, right here. POPE LASSIE: Bark? SWISS GUARD [leans over]: Right in here, in the well. POPE LASSIE pushes the SWISS GUARD into the well. Cue Wilhelm Scream. POPE LASSIE: Sorry Jesus, but you're more use to me down a well. JESUS: My God, my god, why have you forsaken me? POPE LASSIE: Welcome to Popetown, bitch. This is what it would be like if the Pope was a dog. ---------------- |
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Mar 16, 2017 16:53
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cda posted:VILLAGER #1: Lassie is the Pope now. |
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Mar 16, 2017 17:11
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Premise: Scooby Doo is the Pope. Extension of Premise: A Holy Ghost has been spotted in the Holy See, and the Sacred Mystery Gang has to investigate. Plot points: Msgr. Shaggy gives up sandwiches for Lent, becomes cranky. Fr. Fred is a pedophile (canon), Sr Daphne falls in love with an Austrian widower, Sr Wilma loses her faith during a climatic chase scene and bumbles around committing heresies. Catchphrase: "I would've gotten away with it, if the Pope hadn't been a dog!" ---------------- |
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Mar 16, 2017 17:21
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Robert Langdon moved in closer to hear what the dying Dog Pope had to say. He was whispering something, but what? Was it a clue, some revelation into the latest mystery he was chasing? As he leaned in he could hear His Eminence speak- "One. Hundred and... TWO!" he breathed, as his last breath exited his body. What could it mean?
https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4 |
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Mar 16, 2017 17:27
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He'd drink sacramental wine out of a toilet, just like dog intended.
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Mar 16, 2017 18:28
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| # ? May 17, 2024 01:55 |
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the goddamn pope dog why would anybody need...that much goddamn faith?
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Mar 16, 2017 20:46
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