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 What is that?!What the gently caress is that? This is the California Conservation Corp. There are actually many Conservation Corps (virtually every western state has one). But this the drunken son of the Civilian Conservation Corp. The CCC employs 18-25 years old (up to 29 years for vets) youngins to do all kinds of manual labor. From trail work, to wildland fire, to culinary ‘'arts’, to shovelling literal turds, the CCC does all the manual labor you can imagine. That sounds like poo poo! Why would you ever do this? Well, there are numerous reasons: You are a perpetual gently caress up and only have a GED/no diploma period. You can get a diploma through the CCC. If you got out of the CCC, you can get about $8k for college through one year of experience. If you supergrades,aka promote, you have the opportunity to get a lot more. You get preferential treatment on the State job exams after your year. Bookoo certs. You can get wild land fire certified and have enough experience to go in as GS-04 with no college. You can get trained as a sawyer and go into the USFS again with no college. The job itself can lead to jobs from sponsors(those paying for the work). The experience looks really good on a resume. Sponsors? I thought the CCC was paid for entirely by taxpayers?. It is, but because of a certain Austrian, each CCC center pays for a certain percentage of its cost through working for private clients. My center pays for 70% of its cost through working for sponsors. Whoa. I want to join this clusterfuck. Hold on cowboy. First,leta consider a few things. You can’t be a convicted felon. You have to pass a drug test that includes ganja. Yes, you can’t smoke weed in the corp. Second, there are two types of arrangements in regards to how you work for the CCC. Residential: You live at a CCC center. It’s a regimented lifestyle, which includes no drugs or alcohol on center, terrible beds, multiple roommates, and a variety of barracks nonsense that leap well past the bounds of stupid into an entire world of retardation. Also, the CCC is 90%  s, so your dreams of loving your way through the CCC better include a lot of gay sex. Also, if you get caught with drugs or a female in your room, that's an automatic termination.The upside is that room and board is cheap, you live with your crew which can grow close, and no commuting.Non-residential: Basically, you live off base and commute to work everyday. I live on a center, so I dunno about this. I lived in a barracks! I love living with a pile of dicks. Tell me about the work. Manual labor,10 hrs a day 4 days a week. Or 8 hrs a day 5 days a week. Different centers have different things they specialize in. My center falls a metric fuckload of trees every year. Fortuna center hangs out in streams most of the year. The work varies depending on the center. Additionally, there are two special types of work. Spike: You hang out at a site for 8 to 6 days at a time working, all over California. These kind of suck.But the upside is that you get 4-6 days off. Emergencies: You can get called to emergencies all over CA and the nation as a whole. The upside is bookoo overtime pay. The downside is 16 he days of mind numbing work, from 7 days to 3 months at a time.Oh, and no time off after.. Oh. What are the benefits? Basic medical. No dental or vision. You’ll lose a lot of weight. You might make some lifelong friends. I’ve heard you can stay for up to 3 years, though. Yes you can. Lemme explain the ranking system. Blue hat- you in your first year. A grunt getting his certs. If you’re not a poo poo, the next step is Specialist. Green Hat,Specialist- You get another year and you specialize in a certain skill. My center has 4 chainsaw specialists and a culinary specialist. Red hat, Crew lead 1- You’re now a specialist and responsible for the actions of your crew. You get another year (yr 3). When your C1(your boss) is off doing something, you lead. Orange hat, Crew lead 2. Now you’re basically junior staff. When C1’s take out crews, you get a 4 man team to boss around. Now if you really want, you can promote to C1, a professional level job. C2s and above. These guys are senior staff. You would join these of you just love working with troubled youth. This is kind of intricate in that you can go straight from blue to red. Green hat is seen as a dead end for ~reasons~. Cool. This sounds really neat and I want to join. Also, I can only orgasm when a McLeod is shoved up my rear end. Ok, this is my piece of advice to anyone who wants to do this: do not join the C’s just to join the C’s. Come into this program with a purpose in mind and keep that purpose in mind. The downsides are numerous: Nobody knows what the gently caress is going on. Your C1 lives in a state of perpetual confusion, and this permanent chaos is how you will live. You can get punished for not knowing what the gently caress is going on. Hey guys, we’re wearing snow boots tomorrow. Oh, your C1 told one person on your crew to wear Steelies? Write ups for everyone. It is literally impossible to keep a secret in the C’s. Residential centers are, at the largest, 80 people. You tell one person one thing, everyone will know it. There are a variety of stupid rules. Throwing a snowball is a fireable offense. Saying “that rule is loving gay” is a serious offense that can get you fired. You absolutely will get writeup for the most arbitrary nonsense. Do not argue with the person writing you up, take it up the chain. God help you if the COM SUP is a complete tool. Anyone can join the corp. The lazy, the astonishingly dumb, the mentally ill will all be your companions. If you aren’t 19 years old getting kicked out of your mom’s house, you will quickly get tired of younger people antics. Sandwich bag lunches. Every day for a year. Being sore constantly. Carrying heavy poo poo every where. Working 40 hr weeks of pure manual labor. Watching your entire COMET quit or get fired. There's a variety of other stuff about the C’s that I’ll hold off on. Ask me anything, like What’s COMET? What's your dumb corpmember stories? How does one poo poo in the woods? A little about me: I’m a corp members living at a center in the Sierra Nevada. I’m about 3 weeks in, so I’m collating a lot of this post from older guys and my own observations. I will update as I go along. I want this thread to be a both ask/tell thread and a general thread in the style of the various military threads in this dead gay forum.
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Mar 13, 2017 23:47
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Today, we went to the firehouse to do Wild land Survival training. We had a 'final' for the class. One of the girls in my COMET got so nervous at this stupidly simple test she vomited on it,in the middle of the class. ~CCC~
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Mar 14, 2017 02:24
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The dude quizzed us on what he had just taught us. He explicitly said that its impossible to fail the test unless you fell asleep in the bathroom for the last eight hours. I also tried to help put a vet with 2 limbs and 3 kids earlier today. The CMD (the volunteer coordinator) pulled me aside and explicitly told me I couldn't do that because ~liability~.
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Mar 14, 2017 02:42
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Kung Fu Fist gently caress posted:is she hot? Imagine a younger and much fatter Oprah Winfrey with a weave.
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Mar 14, 2017 03:34
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Hookline today: One of my COMETs brothers was so clearly loving zonked out on Xanax they pulled him out. 5th man of my COMET to get caught for drugs. Not even a month in and already a quarter of my COMET has gotten separated for drugs.
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Mar 14, 2017 15:25
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Splode posted:You forgot the best part! The reason you join this organization is because it can serve as a gateway to a number of jobs that the military doesn't. That's why I joined. Or at least, I keep telling myself that.
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Mar 14, 2017 15:30
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Justin Tyme posted:Why in god's name would you put up with all of this and not even get the remote opportunity to destroy people and things in all sorts of fun and unique ways? I'm not here for the violence 
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Mar 14, 2017 15:36
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ulmont posted:So his intake / training group. Basically the 'class' of recruits they're training. Most COMETs don't last the whole year. It's really common for larger COMETs (e.g. 30) to be down to only 4 after a year mark. Smaller COMETs last longer, but attrition is still above 50%. EVA BRAUN BLOWJOBS posted:So if you guys work out and about in the state, do you ever stumble upon weed fields? It hasn't happened at my center but there are centers in San Bernadino and Humboldt counties. We work on public land all the time, so it's probably happened.
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Mar 14, 2017 18:47
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FrozenVent posted:Does your service guarantee citizenship? No, but we do have two green card holders in my COMET. Idiots ahoy: Two corp members got fired for being high on xanax. One got put on contract (aka super close to getting canned, a write up away) for almost beating up another.
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Mar 15, 2017 03:18
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Soulex posted:More importantly, how many go on to enlist? Most go on to an illustrious career of minimum wage poverty. Fun fact: the CCC has a 6% graduation rate. That's worse than most colleges and a its only a year long. Soulex posted:I wanna hear some funny or gross stories. Mainly, I want you to tell me how miserable all this is. Sad story: there's a paper on the game room wall dedicated to a CC dude who got his poo poo together, red hatted in 6 months, and then proceeded to die of an OD in his room on the first day of an RS's job. Funny story: Bubbles, a guy who was at my center, currently holds the record for room write ups at 40. They used to take new COMETs into his room to show it as an example of what you shouldn't do. 
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Mar 15, 2017 05:01
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Soulex posted:6%? You can walk off the job? Yeah, you can quit any time you want. The only people who last are those who want to last. One particular girl walked off the job after 3 weeks because "its too cold". In September  They'll even pay for your bus ticket provided the firing offense isn't too bad. Kung Fu Fist gently caress posted:with 49 more weeks to go, do you think youll be in that illustrious 6%? Day by loving day. And its 50 weeks. 
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Mar 15, 2017 15:26
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EVA BRAUN BLOWJOBS posted:Does the backwoods experience turn into Lord of the Flies? No,it turns you into red and orange hats, which is a fate worse than death. Proud Christian Mom posted:on one hand it sounds retarded Fun fact 2: because of our emergency responder status, CCC members can't get drafted. The predecessor of the Cs, the California Ecology Corp, was created as an alternative for young people facing the draft during the Vietnam war.
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Mar 15, 2017 19:59
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In today's stupidity, we were hanging out at the firehouse getting training when they whipped out this loving thing on us:  It's called a Mculaski. Some mad scientist combined a McLeod and a Pulaski into a single tool and managed to defeat the purpose of both tools at once. You can't use the axe because you'll dull the grubbing side, you can't use the scrape because it's shorter than an actual McLeod scrape and the rake is 3 prongs that are spaced too far apart to rake. This is why you don't let non-hotshots make tools
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Mar 16, 2017 02:17
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Kawasaki Nun posted:So how many "Don't rape the trees / Animals / each other " safety briefings have you endured to date? Pesticide20 posted:How many accountability formations do you have on any given day? As an employee of the state, I could get an EEO complaint for saying 'that's gay'. Practically, the C's are 90% dudes, so we merc each other all day. I won't be the smallest bit shocked when we have to stand in hookline while the Center Director takes away every small privilege because a CM beat up a lil old lady for shoes or something equally mind bending dumb.
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Mar 16, 2017 06:07
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Dick Burglar posted:Anybody who hasn't accidentally injured themselves or someone else is a "chainsaw expert." It's a title you lose, not a title you earn. This is wrong and dumb. FrozenVent posted:What's a chainsaw specialist? Basically, there are 3 levels of certification that you can get certifying that you know What you're doing when it comes to dropping trees. Faller 3, you could fell something less than 8 inches in diameter safely. Faller 2, you can fell something 16 inches in diameter safely. Faller 1, you can fell even really big trees The number one killer of Wild land workers that isn't a car is trees. Falling trees is dangerous business, and you have to be trained for it. As for naming them, yeah. The firehouse I'm in named all their saws girl names to make keep track of them easier. Idiot report: Me. Today we were training with fusees, basically road flares meant to start fires quickly. I popped my fusee, and then went to put it out in the snowbank. I didn't see the box of fuses at my feet, and some molten phosphorus dripped into it, igniting all the other fusees. The firehouse guys had a good laugh as they put it out, but now there's a yellow snowbank with a box of melted paper and phosphorus in it.
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Mar 16, 2017 19:57
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Zeris posted:re: chainsaw talk Yeah we wear chainsaw chaps, eye protection, and earplugs. The chaps are designed to rip into long fibers that immediately stop up the saw, but if you're hellbent on tearing flesh, its easy to hurt yourself through the chaps.
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Mar 16, 2017 21:42
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Idiot report: One of my COMET brothers got fired for being drunk on the job. My COMET sister has racked up 4 write ups in 2 days. And another COMET got 3 write ups yesterday. Not even a full month and almost a full third of the group I came in with has been fired is or soon to get fired.  I'm really beginning to think the reason that 6% graduate is because 90% of the people who join are loving retarded.
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Mar 17, 2017 15:31
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Pesticide20 posted:How many people in the CCC couldn't meet the ASVAB requirements for enlisting? Well,lemme think about this. I came in with a COMET of 21. 1. You have to have a high school diploma.  12 of my COMET.2. You can't be grossly overweight. 3 of my COMET.3. No felonies,even expunged. 1 COMET.So, that's 16 of 21 people who couldn't join. So, going by those numbers that means that about 24% of my COMET could've enlisted.
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Mar 17, 2017 18:08
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ulmont posted:If you reread your "numerous reasons" someone would join the CCC, and filter that through "you are 18-25", 90% is probably low. Yeah, that's part of it. A lot of young guys suddenly find themselves out from underneath the thumb of mom and dad and start doing stupid things because they can. They forget that there's only so much tolerance this organization gives, and that drug and alcohol offences are ground a for immediate termination.  . One of my buddies reached apathy nirvana yesterday and said "I don't give a poo poo who stays or leaves."I'd say the CCC is about as retarded as enlisting. The one upside is that if you want to quit, you're not guilty of a minor felony.
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Mar 17, 2017 18:17
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Zeris posted:Two questions: 1. The C1s are nearly all former corp members who fell in love 2ith the program. The Corp generally recruits C1s from orange hats, so people who have shown their ability to roll around in the Corps poo poo and not eat it. Their bosses, the C2s are by and large professionals recruited from outside the Cs. My C2 is a guy who worked dor the USFS forever and then retired to join the Corps upper staff. We're also looking for another C1 right now, so if you just love working with young adults and can handle being endlessly disappointed, join today! If you mean Red and Orange hats, I haven't sussed out why they tend to stay. One of the soon to be red hats is my homie, and his particular reason for promoting was "I didn't save any money" when he was a blue hat. 2. Unfortunately yeah Finished fire training. One particular thing that stood out to me: the fire shelters. Basically, fire shelters is the firefighters last Last Resort. Its entire purpose is to ensure that firefighters can avoid breathing super heated air, but its like wrapping a potato and putting it in the oven. You're literally betting that the fire front will pass quickly enough to survive, because otherwise, you will be cooked alive. We learned of a particular crew that got cooked. This is a link to a video of their last moments as heard over radio. 19 men cooked alive in their bags, due to a sudden change in wind direction and them being caught "off the black", the already burned area they were in before they decided to leave. The CCC runs a fire crew and I want to be on it for the summer. The chance of us being exposed to such a situation is vanishingly small, but just looking at deadly fires in the past, even something as drop dead simple as burn piling can go wrong.Not far from me, there wad a prescribed fire that got out of control and burned 20 homes to the ground. Still, fire fighting sounds light years better than camp support. The King Fire had almost 100 Cs members working it. The IC was a real dick and wanted corp members to not be seen on their phones. The problem with that, is that there is jack poo poo to do through the middle of the day, so instead of finding menial poo poo for corpmembers to do, C1s prowled the bathrooms and cars of the camp, looking to find anyone on their phones and send them home from emergency(which is an immediate termination). My C1 told us about this as though it were some point of pride to be firing people for the crime of being loving bored.
A Festivus Miracle fucked around with this message at 06:33 on Mar 19, 2017 |
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Mar 19, 2017 06:14
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Kick-Puncher posted:Do you have people added to your crew throughout the year? It seems like you would have to but you have only mentioned people getting fired. The reason I mention my COMET so much is because those are the people who I came in with. We're dispersed amongst different crews. There's a new COMET coming next month, and those people will replenish the crews when they graduate. The CCCs recruitment style is like a toddler mashing a mound of poo poo together. Some of it will stick, most will fall off. Soulex posted:My dad does wildland firefighting and it isn't a loving joke. That radio transmission sucks because he knows people who have been in that situation. Yeah, the crew boss who did our training was mad about how the Air Sup reacted to the situation. It's easy to get mad at him for being so passe about the situation, but cmon. It ain't the Air Sups fault that the hotshots got themselves into the situation that they did.
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Mar 19, 2017 18:59
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We got our Nomex today aka the Banana Suit. Everyone elses Nomex looked like someone had swan dived a burn pile after it had finished up,but mine was still in the packaging. Burning piles with drip torches in the pouring rain tomorrow.  At least we won't have to worry about spot fires.
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Mar 21, 2017 05:10
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Burn pile:shrubs,sticks,tall grasses, occasionally chopped up trees put together for the intent of burning. You see, wildfire needs stuff to burn so you can reduce the intensity of the next fire(and yes, there will be another fire) by reducing the poo poo available for it to burn. Accumulate fuel in one place, reduce to ash, watch for embers starting small fires of their own. Drip torch: Diesel and gasoline fuel mixture combined in a can with a lit wick to set long lasting fires. Used to start fires by firefighters. Like this guy uses:  Banana suit: All yellow fire resistant clothing. The firefighter is wearing Nomex clothing. Imagine if he was wearing yellow pants and you kinda get the picture. Its not the asbestos suits structure firefighters wear, its more geared toward wildland fire. Its also not fire proof, just fire resistant. Nomex will burn given proper motivation. Trip report: Did exactly zero burning. Instead we built more piles today that we're gonna chip tomorrow, in the freezing rear end rain. We were at the mouth of a narrow valley, getting winds straight to the face with rain. Not too bad, but gawddamn am i gonna wear my thermals tomorrow. Also my earplugs got wet, so every time I put them in, it was like getting a wet willy from a corpse. Up next: chipping, the fun process of.
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Mar 22, 2017 02:58
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Welp, hanging out at the hospital getting work mans comp claim filled out. I hurt my shoulder doing fuels reduction work so The Great Gay Statw of California is paying for an Xray. At least I'm still getting paid while I sit here doing nothing but browsing GiP. One of my COMET sisters got on 30 day contract (aka one more fuckup in a month and we'll fire you) for being in her boyfriends room. Apparently, her roommate ratted her out. That would normally not be cool in my book, but this particular COMET sister is such a lazy gently caress that I'm glad she's about to get fired.
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Mar 23, 2017 19:26
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Kick-Puncher posted:How many of your crew members are currently banging each other? 8 of my COMET are in a relationship. Among the crews, I'd say about 12 total out of 46 people are in a relationship with another corpmember. You know how its a really dumb idea to date someone in thr military? Same advice applies to the CCC. eschaton posted:Why does the CCC care about adult employees having consensual sex in their downtime? Technically, the dorm is also my workplace. And the state is paying me to work for them. I'd be willing to bet it'd stand up in court. Everytime a girl in this place starts looking attractive,I remind myself that its just the fact I'm in Another effortpost incoming later today. More drama, more boring job stuff, maybe even a picture.
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Mar 30, 2017 15:49
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 Drama for daaaaaaysThis post contains serious User Name/Post combo. Actors in the drama Dickface: 19 year old with no high school diploma who joined the Cs after getting his felony expunged. His felony? He stole a phone from a 9 year old. He's bipolar and convinced that he has to prove himself as a man. Yes, he's from the hood. Tiny Dick Blackman: 20 year old with a diploma, and a serious case of untreated bipolar disorder. Wildly alternates between everyone's homie and calling people faggots. Currently on 30 day contract for getting caught with his girlfriend in his room. I lived with a black guy named Dickface for my first month here until last friday. Last Friday, dickface decides to do his laundry. I'm leaving for a trip, so I get up and start doing laundry. Dickface comes back with quarters and sees me using the machines. Instead of being mildly annoyed, dickface starts berating me for close to an hour, calling me all variety of poo poo. human being, friend of the family, dub (  ), kike (even though I'm not jewish), etc. You know, all things they promised you could get fired for in COMET.I go, "man,i dont want to leave my poo poo in the eoom with this nutjob". I go to my CMD who immediately moves me rooms. Then she takes down a witness statement promising hellfire and wrath. Later, roght before I leave, she calls me into the office to tell me that she talked with dickface, and that actually its fine that this literal crazy man yelled at me for close to an hour, because you see, he's intimidated I went to college and have a degree.  Thanks CMD. Way to do your loving job. I throw up my hands in disgust, and left for my trip.After a weekend with cute Americorp lady, I come back. Dickface has rallied his other bipolar friend, Tiny Dick Blackman (TDM for short) to start harassing me. TDM especially starts going for threatening physical violence. Let me just pause to state that I am a large dude. 6'3, fat but strong. I used to work as a bouncer. These dudes are short,skinny black dudes. I know full well these idiots know I will beat their asses one on one, so they're never seperate when around me. So, of course, I go back to my CMD. I tell her Tiny Dick Blackman is threatening me and she tells me she's not surprised. TDM has already threatened other corp members. Huh, so that whole loving stump speech CMD gave in COMET that "we'll fire you if youthreaten someone or call someone a human being" was apparently all for show. Her advice to me was to start documenting every time TDM or Dickface threatens me. So,now, I walk around with a pen and a paper in my pocket and document every little passing jibe I get from TDM and Dickface. Its really comforting to know that no one will left a finger to do anything until the number of EEO complaints is double digits. I am honestly hoping at this point to get TDM or Dickface to do something retarded so they get fired. Dickface is somewhat discrete, but TDM is an idiot. I hope he tries to punch me out so I can restrain him hard enough to tear muscle and break bone. My policy in the interm is to provoke them at every turn. The more dumb things they say and do, the sooner they get fired.So yeah. The CCC,folks. I'll post about the other stuff I did this week later.
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Mar 30, 2017 23:29
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Sorry fellas, been a hard week and rough day. TDM and I almost got into a fight at dinner, so I'm waiting for the RS to come talk to me. Not trying to be a racist turd burglar, its just how I think of those two charming gentlemen.
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Mar 31, 2017 03:38
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Never claimed to hold the moral high horse. You can't pretend to float amongst the stars when your rear end is firmly in the mud. And yeah, as mich as I would love a fight (no, a fight sounds good but rarely is), I'm documenting everything. TDM is gonna get fired for physical threats, and thats for the better. Whats weird is that this was never his quarrel. He made it his, and hopefully he suffers the consequences for it. gently caress him, and gently caress anybody who thinks the rules of no snitching apply anywhere beyond high school. In other news, one of my COMET sisters took a ride in a cop car today. I suspect it was for suicidal threats, so thats probably the end of her. Will make a post on what we did this week tommorrow when this particular shitshow is sorted. TDM has til monday before the investigation concludes, so I'm going to walk with a watchful eye for the next few days.
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Mar 31, 2017 06:56
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Kawasaki Nun posted:Victims of society? Who the gently caress gets a felony charge from stealing a cellphone? As I heard him explain it, the real reason he ended up with a felony was because the 9 year old lied in court and he (dickface) had prior misdeaminors, including what was apparently an epic footchase through the big Macy's store in New York. Dude got out of Rikers, got his poo poo together, got his felony expunged, and then learned nothing because of the crazy man nonsense he seems to have devolved into lately. It makes me sad and angry. I really liked the guy before he became a giant prick and it makes me mad that he sucked TDM, a dude who was already unstable, into drama with which he had nothing to do. My RS told me, as she filled out the statement, that my COMET was the worst she had seen so far.  What I've realized is that my attempts to hover over the drama have been futile. I've been intimately involved with it. You can take the boy out of high school, but sadly you can't take the high school out of the boy. 
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Mar 31, 2017 07:36
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Triple posting for content: Last week I went to the hospital. Hospital said probably a rotator cuff injury. And the doctor I visited midweek agreed. I've been on a steady diet of ibuprofen and occassional PT since. I'm going back next week, and I hope to the all powerful atheismo he says its fine for me to go on grade.My mind is still boggled that I haven't gotten a 500 dollar bill yet. Thanks California taxpayers. Anyhow, that means that I was on in-camp this week. Because the CCC loves using loving railroad terms so much, theres a reason its called In Camp. Regular workers in railroad building camps back in the 19th century would go to work 'on grade', literally the grade of the railroad. The other people, who did logistics type stuff worked 'in camp' ie inside the main camp were the workers would normally sleep. In Camp in this great modern age is loving. Boring. Practically it means you're basically Supplys bitch boy for however long the doctor has sentenced you to it. Mopping the same floors,vacuuming the same carpets, changing out the trash bins constantly. Imagine 10 hours of Field Day,4 days a week, except you're hurt and no one gives a poo poo how well you clean. One of the older guys took me aside after the usual "stop being a little pussy and get back on grade" ragging and told me that the longest days are in camp days. Holy mother of gently caress was he right. Intersperse two hours of cleaning with an hour of hiding out in a bathroom trying to avoid getting caught looking at your phone, and you have an idea of what we did all week. The Supply dude, Joe, is a pretty cool dude and didn't really push it with the cleaning. He also took me out a few times to do other stuff, like prep the trailers for crews going on spike. We spent a good three hours at the CHP storage building trying to back up trailers into the correct position. Dude sucks at backing in trailers. On the plus side, PT is cancelled for two weeks, so I've been focusing on running. My mile times slid below 11 mins today. And I got to talk to hot front office lady a little this week. Additionally, my specialist homie from kitchen told me I'm going in kitchen next week. So ends my brief encounter with in camp. Hopefully its my last.
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Mar 31, 2017 22:11
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Holy poo poo, an update post. So, I've been in the Cs for about 5 gawddamn months now. Things have changed. I've moved centers (from Tahoe CCC to Central California Coast), most of my COMET quit or got fired (Down to 7 now). I've lost about 40 pounds, I'm S212 (basic chainsaw) trained. I'm also an Americorp member with a ~special~ program that My new C1 is a competent but complete rear end in a top hat. 28 years in the Cs, close to retirement (aka gives zero fucks). This guys got more  poo poo than I can care to think about. He literally failed me on an evaluation for being too 'smirky'. Apparently my facial expressions are not up to par with the CCC standard. AMA about polesaw ( never ask to use one ). AMA about felling my first tree perfectly, than loving up my second and third. AMA all the gay retarded poo poo that happened with my COMET and the center I was at. AMA the center I'm now at (and  at anybody in the National Guard base right next to my center).
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Jul 14, 2017 04:49
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The Orgasm Sanction posted:Gay retarded poo poo pls. rear end in a top hat roomate: fired for  rear end in a top hat roommates friends girlfriend: quit Farty roommate at Tahoe: Quit because his girlfriend quit to get gender reassignment surgery. Half Mexican white supremacist. rear end in a top hat roommates friend: Despite threatening people and being an rear end in a top hat, dude hasn't gotten fired Tahoe CMD: hosed me out of half my volunteer hours and tried loving me out of my certifications. Girl on my new crew: Woke my C1 up last spike rubbing one out with a vibrator.
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Jul 14, 2017 07:03
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Zeris posted:pics When I stop being drunk as gently caress I'll give you some asssome pictures of some of the cool poo poo I've seen. Also, how to fell a tree the wrong way, illustrated.
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Jul 14, 2017 07:42
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Kawasaki Nun posted:Who or what have you hosed so far over this 5 month period, aside from your hand and / or oven heated melons? Honeydew heated over a warm oak fire. Though, thankfully, my double chin is now safely hidden behind a well-trimmed beard, and I've noticed girls looking at me. I wear size 40 jeans now, and my uniform pants keep falling off my rear end. I've gotten tremendously stronger since I joined the Cs. I can do almost 50 pushups and 122 crunches. One thing running a chainsaw with chaps on in triple digit heat is good for is dropping tonnage. Each spike I come back looking a little thinner, a little trimmer. This center I'm at now is blessed with an really high female population (almost 1:4  !) for a Cs center. But at the same time, loving around in the Cs is a terrible idea. "There's no secrets in the Cs" is a very literal and accurate saying.
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Jul 14, 2017 08:17
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Kawasaki Nun posted:Jesus Christ you hosed a melon? You know, I was gonna respond with some lame non-sequitor or bad joke, but than I realized that the Cs has so normalized me to hosed up poo poo that yes, the idea of taking my dick and plunging it into a melon does in fact, sound like a great idea.You know, if I asked my C1 if he's ever caught a Corpmember plunging a loving watermelon, he'd probably tell me yes. kill me.
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Jul 14, 2017 09:40
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Peetown Manning posted:What's your felling process like? Just notching and bombing them over? Have you experienced any barber chairs? Conventional pie cut followed by back cut, or boring out the hinge wood depending upon how dead the tree is. For goons unfamiliar with terms: Pie cut: You do your standard gun cut (that is, you cut about a 3rd of the way into the tree) and then do a sloping cut that meets the back of your gun cut. The resultant piece of wood looks like a slice of an enormous cake. Back cut: you go on the other side of the tree, cut about a third of the way in, and hopefully the tree falls over on the slim piece of wood left over (the hinge wood). Stump shot: The tree can literally jump back when it hits the ground. Your insurance against getting nailed by a 10 to 100 ton tree is the difference between your back cut and gun cut, that is, how much wood is between those two cuts. Too low(e.g. below your gun cut) will cause the tree to sit on your chainsaw, or even worse, fall backwards. Too high, and the tree will sit on the chainsaw, destroying your bar or causing an uncontrolled fell. Boring the hinge: dead trees can becoming ludicrously stable. By boring out the middle section of your hinge (that is, shoving a chain saw through it), it allows you space to put wedges in to get the tree going. Doing this on live trees might cause it to go where ever it wants to. Don't do this on live trees. Dutchman: if your slope cut isn't perfect, you end up with slightly too much hinge wood on one side, altering the fall of the tree. Too much on the left equals a tree that falls right and vice versa. This is called a dutchman. A really bad dutchman can cause the tree to twirl around the stump, potentially killing you. Barber chair: Dead trees (and live ones) can split straight up the middle as you're cutting it. The tree falls, the back end jumps up in the air, and falls on either side of the stump, potentially killing you. The resulting stump looks like a barber chair, hence the name. I've never personally seen it happen, but I have seen a stump where the tree barber chaired. Next post: A Sawyer boys talking about felling trees the wrong way.
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Jul 18, 2017 07:57
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Since I'm on the topic, Here's a real good video of a barber chair. Generally speaking, trees like to barber chair if they're dead, real loving dead (for example, bark missing in the middle of the trunk is gigantic  ), or a live tree that's grown into a very materially stressing situation (for example, a tree with a more than 60 degree lean will almost certainly barber chair if its big enough and cut incorrectly), or a tree that's grown into an extremely weird shape (for example, an upside down L shaped tree will barber chair, regardless of how it's cut). How to cut trees, wrong. First tree I ever felled: Cut it almost perfectly. My only real mistake was cutting slightly too much hinge out during my back cut. Things go to poo poo south if you cut the hinge wood. The idea of the hinge wood is that your tree falls in a certain direction (in the pie cut direction), tearing the hinge wood out of the stump on its way down. The hinge wood is supposed to guide it down, like a hinge on a door (get why it's called hinge wood now?). If you cut your hinge wood, your tree will maybe falls in the direction of the pie cut, probably fall backwards toward your back cut, or may even fall sideways, or hell, even twirl in the air. Don't cut your drat hinge wood too close. Anyhow, I felled it almost perfectly. Pie cut was great (no dutchmans). The tree was deader than poo poo, had to bore out the middle. Bored successfully, put in my wedges, smacked those fuckers till she went down. Second tree: Pie cut was dutchmanned. I didn't fix it correctly. It fell about 15 degrees to the left of where I wanted it to go. Whoops. Third tree: Back cut was too low. Tree fell off the stump, and landed in a creek, thankfully not killing me in the process, almost parallel to where I wanted it to fall. Whoops. Fourth tree: Felled with a pole saw(gently caress pole saws forever). Pinched the pole saw on the back cut, but thankfully the tree was small enough that I just gave it a good kick and it fell off the stump. And before you ask, there are actually quite a few different saws in this business. A pole saw is basically a weedwhacker with a chain and a bar on it, generally intended for chopping troublesome limbs off trees. It's also hilariously underpowered, amazingly hard on your shoulders (because you're have to lift it up to use it), and will wobble like crazy when you extend it out to it's full extent (about ten feet). Add in that pinching it is A Real Bad Thing because now you've got a chainsaw stuck in a tree, meaning you need to have someone climb the tree to get it out, or hopefully, have someone with another polesaw get it loose for you. Additionally, your supervisior will inevitably ask you to chop a limb off a tree that's too high to reach with holding the polesaw at waist height. Hope you like having a hot motor sitting on your chest as you strain to reach the limb he wants you to cut off. Also add in that it's super easy to pinch a polesaw in a branch because of how difficult it is to correctly cut a branch, and you have an idea of why I hate polesaws. Oh, and don't forget that for dumb OSHA reasons, you have to wear chaps while using it, even though cutting yourself with a polesaw would take some amazing gymnastic abilities or a positively idiotic swamper. And double Oh, don't forget that you have to stand under or near to under the limbs you're chopping off, meaning that you stand a real good chance of getting whacked in the face by that limb if you're not careful or get too overzealous when you're cutting. There's also another monster in our tool room, called (correctly I think) a misery whip. It's basically a motorized version of a whip saw, generally have a ten foot long(or longer) bar on it, with two powerheads on either end that power a monstrously long chain. Used to fell real fukken big trees, it's heavy as gently caress, amazingly hard on both operators to use, and eats gasoline and bar oil like no other machine in existence. We've thankfully avoided using that thing, though my C1 keeps jokingly threatening to bring it out. A Festivus Miracle fucked around with this message at 08:30 on Jul 18, 2017 |
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Jul 18, 2017 08:24
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Clearly dude's been doing it for a while. 1st part of the of the video he's sizing up the tree. The triple stump and loaded lean meant the guy recognized the situation. 2Nd part with the cutting up of limbs, he's clearing his escape routes. Then he performs what's called a Humboldt Undercut(note how he stops after his slope cut to aim the tree), and then cleans up the cut to make it even (ie remove dutchmans). Finally, he doesn't borecut, but instead backbars the tree. As soon as the tree barber chairs, chainsaw out, runs away from the tree. To back bar is to cut with the top part of your bar, as opposed to the bottom.This is generally a bad idea because the way the chainsaw operates. The chain moves in a counterclockwise direction. By backbaring or incorrectly using your bar nose, the chainsaw can kick up and back towards you. Called kickback, it is the number one cause of upper body contact with a running chain. This isn't so bad on standard chains, but semi-skip and skip chains (there's fewer teeth so each tooth is moving with much more velocity) have serious safety issues with regards to kickback. They're also much more commonly used in logging and arborist work for how quickly they cut. Anyhow, awesome vid. I'm gonna share it with the C1 who does S212 training because that is a pro felling. I'm spiking out for 8 days with sporadic service so I probably won't post much. Hopefully its not just limbing and bucking and I get to fell some trees.
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Jul 19, 2017 06:19
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Nostalgia4Butts posted:what does he mean by the crown? The crown of the tree is the top of the tree and a short way down from that point. My Dorm Captain managed to dislocate his shoulder surfing and another dude quit, 2 people stay in camp as Kitchen, and our ACL doesn't run saw. One girl chapped herself recently and won't run a chainsaw. So,I've got roughly a 10% chance of running saw multiple days.
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Jul 19, 2017 16:28
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| # ¿ Apr 29, 2024 04:01 |
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I'm back from spike. 8 days later, my crew is down 3 people (mostly leaving for college, one leaving to become a  'pharmaceutical farmer' ). My best friend in the Cs resigned and I found out that I am loving unbelievably allergic to poison oak. Both my forearms have complementary yellow pussing rashes. They swelled up so bad that I looked swole as gently caress for a little while. Both my shins are also swollen to pretty absurd sizes.  Both my hands also got oaked, causing my left hand to look like a blown up latex glove. My right hand isn't too bad, but still swollen. Poison oak is insidious. If stinging nettle is like a girl that gives you the clap, poison oak is that chick that loves you tenderly, then comes back into your bed in the middle of the night and cuts your nuts off. If you aren't allergic to its oils, you can actually become allergic to it through multiple exposures (Which is inevitable in any wildland work), and to top that, it actually gets worse the more you're exposed to it. The swelling is so bad that the State of California paid for my cortisone steroids to help bring down the swelling. My next exposure might well put me in the hospital, and another exposure after that could well induce anaphlyaxis. I'm seriously in danger of being put into Tyvek suits for the rest of my time here in the Cs, which while fantastic of weight loss due to the insane sweating they bring on, bring on the possibility of keeling over on grade with heat exhaustion. It never got below 95 fahrenheit the entire time I was on spike. In center related news, Corpmember Advisory Board (think ASB for Corpmembers, kind of a governing body made up of and for corpmembers) decided gently caress democracy, let's appoint our friends to CAB. A big potential drama bomb is brewing, as a lot of people are really pissed that CAB flagarantly ignored their own bylaws to just do whatever they want. CV crews continue to drop members like they're hot. 3 people dropped out of my crew, at least 2 are looking for another job right now, and 2 more are in danger of getting fired for being idiots. The third CV crew at my center has been cannibalizing the other crews for members, and it's beginning to look a little thin on the ground for all the CV crews. It's gotten so bad that the CONSUP got up on stage at our community meeting and cajoled,insulted,and pleaded with CVs to stop quitting goddamn it. On the bright side, our last spike was fairly uneventful. A major fire got about 11 miles away from our spike camp before losing steam, making it smoky for us for a little while. The promised "we fall dead trees" continues to be just that, a promise. So far, I've spent the vast majority of my time on saw bucking and limbing, though I did get to fell a 95+ foot tall, 15 inch diameter tree before the swelling from the poison oak got too bad. I've found that I've actually gotten dramatically better at felling since my last time through - my tree fell almost exactly in line with my gunned target, though my attempts to fix the dutchman I created were so hamhanded that I ended up cutting 50% of the tree. When I went to bore the tree like my supervisor suggested, I noticed that my wedge was coming loose. I literally tapped it with my hand and the tree started commiting. Que me screaming at my C1 to get the gently caress out of the way while simultaneously trying to get the chainsaw out of the tree before it bent the bar in half.  Bonus picture: A spiker boy gets ready for his first day of spike
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Jul 27, 2017 05:50
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