What is your personal relationship with God?

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > What is your personal relationship with God?

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JiveHonky: May 12, 2001; by zen death robot; Grimey Drawer

Bareback Werewolf posted:

I challenge any Christian to a YouTube debate.

I, a Christian man, maintain that YouTube is terrible.

I await your rebuttal.

# ? Mar 23, 2017 06:24

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# ? May 13, 2024 19:07

uber_stoat: Jan 21, 2001; Pillbug

genesplicer posted:

If God exists and He created the universe

Then:

God created it as a science fair project,

and based upon the quality of His project, His parents have actually decided to take the guidance counselor's advice and enroll Him in those special ed classes the counselor recommended.

eventually there will come a time when God takes the lovely paper mache Volcano that is our universe and pitches it the trash. or maybe lights it on fire. and that will be that for everything that ever was.

# ? Mar 23, 2017 06:24

VendaGoat: Nov 1, 2005

genesplicer posted:

If God exists and He created the universe

Then:

God created it as a science fair project,

and based upon the quality of His project, His parents have actually decided to take the guidance counselor's advice and enroll Him in those special ed classes the counselor recommended.

Why would god be talking to a....

Look, you are saying that god has children? :twisted:

Is that it?

# ? Mar 23, 2017 06:26

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Woah are there actually no Christians here?

# ? Mar 23, 2017 06:27

Second Hand Meat Mouth: Sep 12, 2001

Nooner believes in God and we all know how we feel about Nooner...

# ? Mar 23, 2017 06:27

Psycho Society: Oct 21, 2010

I'm a christian but don't bug me about it eh

# ? Mar 23, 2017 06:27

Second Hand Meat Mouth: Sep 12, 2001

Pick posted:

Woah are there actually no Christians here?

We may all be mentally ill here, but that doesn't mean we're also morons

# ? Mar 23, 2017 06:28

ra tehuti: Feb 9, 2017; Thoth is protecting
my flesh entirely
I am Ra
day every
Seer of millions of years
is my name
traveling twice
along the way of
Horus the Judge

I am the lord of eternity
I feel
I perceive
I am in the utchat in it's closing
I exist by it's strength
I come forth and I shine
I go in and I come to life

Pick posted:

Woah are there actually no Christians here?

I'm actually surprised you are one and my opinion of you has changed

wait, nah. still hate ya

# ? Mar 23, 2017 06:29

ra tehuti: Feb 9, 2017; Thoth is protecting
my flesh entirely
I am Ra
day every
Seer of millions of years
is my name
traveling twice
along the way of
Horus the Judge

I am the lord of eternity
I feel
I perceive
I am in the utchat in it's closing
I exist by it's strength
I come forth and I shine
I go in and I come to life

Psycho Society posted:

I'm a christian but don't bug me about it eh

gently caress you

# ? Mar 23, 2017 06:30

Psycho Society: Oct 21, 2010

ra tehuti posted:

gently caress you

no gently caress you

e: actually have you heard about jesus he's p. cool

# ? Mar 23, 2017 06:31

ra tehuti: Feb 9, 2017; Thoth is protecting
my flesh entirely
I am Ra
day every
Seer of millions of years
is my name
traveling twice
along the way of
Horus the Judge

I am the lord of eternity
I feel
I perceive
I am in the utchat in it's closing
I exist by it's strength
I come forth and I shine
I go in and I come to life

500 good dogs posted:

We may all be mentally ill here, but that doesn't mean we're also morons

except you but yeah

# ? Mar 23, 2017 06:31

ra tehuti: Feb 9, 2017; Thoth is protecting
my flesh entirely
I am Ra
day every
Seer of millions of years
is my name
traveling twice
along the way of
Horus the Judge

I am the lord of eternity
I feel
I perceive
I am in the utchat in it's closing
I exist by it's strength
I come forth and I shine
I go in and I come to life

Psycho Society posted:

no gently caress you

e: actually have you heard about jesus he's p. cool

yeah I 'herd' about jesus but all sheep are retarded

# ? Mar 23, 2017 06:32

Psycho Society: Oct 21, 2010

ra tehuti posted:

yeah I 'herd' about jesus but all sheep are retarded

I'm gonna turn the other cheek before I go all righteous fury on your rear end, pagan

# ? Mar 23, 2017 06:34

I. M. Gei: Jun 26, 2005; CHIEFS

BITCH

Pick posted:

Am I really the only Christian here?

No, I'm also Catholic. :unsmith:

# ? Mar 23, 2017 06:33

uber_stoat: Jan 21, 2001; Pillbug

if any of ya'll see this guy punch him in the face for me.

# ? Mar 23, 2017 06:35

ra tehuti: Feb 9, 2017; Thoth is protecting
my flesh entirely
I am Ra
day every
Seer of millions of years
is my name
traveling twice
along the way of
Horus the Judge

I am the lord of eternity
I feel
I perceive
I am in the utchat in it's closing
I exist by it's strength
I come forth and I shine
I go in and I come to life

Psycho Society posted:

I'm gonna turn the other cheek before I go all righteous fury on your rear end, pagan

sorry pal, no such thing as a 'righteous furry'

# ? Mar 23, 2017 06:38

Edmund Sparkler: Jul 4, 2003; For twelve years, you have been asking: Who is John Galt? This is John Galt speaking. I am the man who loves his life. I am the man who does not sacrifice his love or his values. I am the man who has deprived you of victims and thus has destroyed your world, and if you wish to know why you are peris

Dr. Gitmo Moneyson posted:

No, I'm also Catholic.

That's not Christian, lol.

# ? Mar 23, 2017 06:38

Zippy the Bummer: Dec 14, 2008; Silent Majority
The Don
LORD COMMANDER OF THE UKRAINIAN ARMED FORCES

i have a framed photo of the pope in my living room

# ? Mar 23, 2017 06:40

smug n stuff: Jul 21, 2016; A Hobbit's Adventure

Pick posted:

Woah are there actually no Christians here?

I'm religious-ish and think Jesus is cool, but don't consider myself "christian" and most christians probably wouldn't consider me christian, but who gives a h*ck what other people think!

# ? Mar 23, 2017 06:40

Psycho Society: Oct 21, 2010

ra tehuti posted:

sorry pal, no such thing as a 'righteous furry'

Heh, you don't need to tell me about the specifics of your hobbies bud :cool:

# ? Mar 23, 2017 06:41

Bareback Werewolf: Oct 5, 2013; ~*blessed by the algorithm*~

smug n stuff posted:

I'm religious-ish and think Jesus is cool, but don't consider myself "christian" and most christians probably wouldn't consider me christian, but who gives a h*ck what other people think!

But you believe there's a God. So you're kinda dumb.

# ? Mar 23, 2017 06:43

ra tehuti: Feb 9, 2017; Thoth is protecting
my flesh entirely
I am Ra
day every
Seer of millions of years
is my name
traveling twice
along the way of
Horus the Judge

I am the lord of eternity
I feel
I perceive
I am in the utchat in it's closing
I exist by it's strength
I come forth and I shine
I go in and I come to life

Psycho Society posted:

Heh, you don't need to tell me about the specifics of your hobbies bud

I'm 'one to know'

# ? Mar 23, 2017 06:43

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Three Catholics and a bunch of atheists? What is this, an Irish evolutionary biology club?

# ? Mar 23, 2017 06:44

uber_stoat: Jan 21, 2001; Pillbug

I've learned from the Jack Chick thread that Catholics are not actually Christians so if you're Catholic you may wanna rethink that before you cannonball into the Lake of Fire.

# ? Mar 23, 2017 06:44

VendaGoat: Nov 1, 2005

Pick posted:

Three Catholics and a bunch of atheists? What is this, an Irish evolutionary biology club?

Look, what is it you are looking for in a "mate"?

Let's just get it out there, shall we?

Get us all off the loving hook, please?

# ? Mar 23, 2017 06:47

raton: Jul 28, 2003; by FactsAreUseless

raton fucked around with this message at 06:49 on Mar 23, 2017

# ? Mar 23, 2017 06:47

smug n stuff: Jul 21, 2016; A Hobbit's Adventure

Bareback Werewolf posted:

But you believe there's a God. So you're kinda dumb.

Hell yeah I am!

# ? Mar 23, 2017 06:50

Psycho Society: Oct 21, 2010

I'm not a catholic, sheesh

# ? Mar 23, 2017 06:51

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

But only Catholics are real Christians?

# ? Mar 23, 2017 06:52

ra tehuti: Feb 9, 2017; Thoth is protecting
my flesh entirely
I am Ra
day every
Seer of millions of years
is my name
traveling twice
along the way of
Horus the Judge

I am the lord of eternity
I feel
I perceive
I am in the utchat in it's closing
I exist by it's strength
I come forth and I shine
I go in and I come to life

gently caress religion how is this not obvious

# ? Mar 23, 2017 06:59

Second Hand Meat Mouth: Sep 12, 2001

pretty obvious to me

# ? Mar 23, 2017 07:02

Edmund Sparkler: Jul 4, 2003; For twelve years, you have been asking: Who is John Galt? This is John Galt speaking. I am the man who loves his life. I am the man who does not sacrifice his love or his values. I am the man who has deprived you of victims and thus has destroyed your world, and if you wish to know why you are peris

Pick posted:

But only Catholics are real Christians?

Somehow, this is the most ridiculous thing you've ever posted.

# ? Mar 23, 2017 07:06

defaultluser: Jan 13, 2007; The person can drink sake for the following five reasons. First of all, for the national holiday. Moreover, it fills with the nectar. Finally, for reasons. Next, to heal the dryness of the place. After that, to refuse the future; Fun Shoe

Dog is my copilot.

# ? Mar 23, 2017 07:12

ra tehuti: Feb 9, 2017; Thoth is protecting
my flesh entirely
I am Ra
day every
Seer of millions of years
is my name
traveling twice
along the way of
Horus the Judge

I am the lord of eternity
I feel
I perceive
I am in the utchat in it's closing
I exist by it's strength
I come forth and I shine
I go in and I come to life

jesus is my cuckhold

# ? Mar 23, 2017 07:14

flubber nuts: Oct 5, 2005

towards the end of last year i felt a gaping void opening up inside of me. a terrible emptiness which clawed at my soul. i was plagued with questions of self worth. what have i done with my life? has anything been worth it? why do i matter? is there a point to anything? what the gently caress am i doing here? anyways i realized these thoughts are why people could turn to religion. for friendship, community, a higher purpose. and answers. so i stopped drinking so much booze and started smoking weed again and im fine. im fine now.

# ? Mar 23, 2017 07:14

Rock Paper Tongue: Oct 24, 2016; May cause birth defects

He hasn't killed me yet
Pretty pissed about that

# ? Mar 23, 2017 07:16

defaultluser: Jan 13, 2007; The person can drink sake for the following five reasons. First of all, for the national holiday. Moreover, it fills with the nectar. Finally, for reasons. Next, to heal the dryness of the place. After that, to refuse the future; Fun Shoe

BIG TIT LIL NIP posted:

towards the end of last year i felt a gaping void opening up inside of me. a terrible emptiness which clawed at my soul.

That's what they make XL Buttplugs for yo!

HtH

# ? Mar 23, 2017 07:17

Jim Barris: Aug 13, 2009

I don't believe in God but I wish I was capable of believing. I'd probably be a happier person. It doesn't make any sense to me. So I don't have a relationship with God because God doesn't exist in my world.

# ? Mar 23, 2017 07:38

Bareback Werewolf: Oct 5, 2013; ~*blessed by the algorithm*~

Jim Barris posted:

I don't believe in God but I wish I was capable of believing. I'd probably be a happier person. It doesn't make any sense to me. So I don't have a relationship with God because God doesn't exist in my world.

shut up

# ? Mar 23, 2017 07:43

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# ? May 13, 2024 19:07

ra tehuti: Feb 9, 2017; Thoth is protecting
my flesh entirely
I am Ra
day every
Seer of millions of years
is my name
traveling twice
along the way of
Horus the Judge

I am the lord of eternity
I feel
I perceive
I am in the utchat in it's closing
I exist by it's strength
I come forth and I shine
I go in and I come to life

BIG TIT LIL NIP posted:

im fine now.

yea, the rest of us are upset bout this

# ? Mar 23, 2017 07:44

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