Trappist beer

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Trappist beer

feller: Jul 5, 2006

twoday posted:

Trappist beer is so heavy and unfiltered and yeasty and filling because it's supposed to help you get through lent, so actually the way you're supposed to drink it is steadily throughout the entire day on an empty stomach

this is me but all year

# ? Mar 23, 2017 13:31

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Apr 30, 2024 15:04

Mozi: Apr 4, 2004; Forms change so fast
Time is moving past
Memory is smoke
Gonna get wider when I die; Nap Ghost

thank god for google image search and the brilliant members of the online community at large for this feast of humor that we are about to consume!!

# ? Mar 23, 2017 14:02

Speleothing: May 6, 2008; Spare batteries are pretty key.

twoday posted:

Trappist beer is so heavy and unfiltered and yeasty and filling because it's supposed to help you get through lent, so actually the way you're supposed to drink it is steadily throughout the entire day on an empty stomach

Sounds like a religious experience waiting to happen

# ? Mar 23, 2017 14:10

twoday: May 4, 2005; C-SPAM Times best-selling author

Yes, keep in mind that lent lasts 40 days

# ? Mar 23, 2017 14:49

twoday: May 4, 2005; C-SPAM Times best-selling author

# ? Mar 23, 2017 14:51

the black husserl: Feb 25, 2005

twoday posted:

wouldn't, wouldn't, WOULD, would, wouldn't, wouldn't, wouldn't

# ? Mar 23, 2017 15:00

Hardawn: Mar 15, 2004; Don't look at the sun, but rather what it illuminates; College Slice

I'm in the trap, whippin up a batch

# ? Mar 23, 2017 16:02

uber_stoat: Jan 21, 2001; Pillbug

twoday posted:

Trappist beer is so heavy and unfiltered and yeasty and filling because it's supposed to help you get through lent, so actually the way you're supposed to drink it is steadily throughout the entire day on an empty stomach

I've always wanted to just do nothing but drink all day and now I have a religious excuse for it. lent's all year bitches. I have a permission slip from the pope.

# ? Mar 23, 2017 18:38

McSpergin: Sep 10, 2013

Trappist beers own. I have been homebrewing on and off for 13 years, seriously for the last 5 (all grain). Trappist styles are my favourite, I am actually about to go get the grain order for my first tripel today. I've done about 2 dubbel, a single/enkel, 5 quadrupel and this will be my first actual tripel. My brewing club president and I also have a used Shiraz barrel full of our currently 11.5% quadrupel, and every time we brew 40-ish litres we let it ferment then pull 40L out of the barrel and refill it with the fresh stuff. It's v good. I have 29 bombers of it sitting conditioning right now and a 20L keg of the non barrel one in my beer fridge :agesilaus:

# ? Mar 23, 2017 23:40

somecallmetim: Mar 30, 2004

I can't think of the last time goons agreed so unanimously on something.
I LOVE IT

# ? Mar 23, 2017 23:43

us vs also us: Jul 8, 2007; Hello! I hope you are having a nice day!

what in the absolute gently caress is Trappist beer

# ? Mar 23, 2017 23:45

Solice Kirsk: Jun 1, 2004; .

us vs also us posted:

what in the absolute gently caress is Trappist beer

I'm glad you asked! It's a beer made by Trappist monks.

Here, have an internet encyclopedia entry for them!

# ? Mar 23, 2017 23:46

Mozi: Apr 4, 2004; Forms change so fast
Time is moving past
Memory is smoke
Gonna get wider when I die; Nap Ghost

Solice Kirsk posted:

I'm glad you asked! It's a beer made by Trappist monks.

Here, have an internet encyclopedia entry for them!

trappist sprung

# ? Mar 23, 2017 23:51

Les Os: Mar 29, 2010

Wikipedia says this is beer made by the Klan

# ? Mar 23, 2017 23:53

NihilismNow: Aug 31, 2003

twoday posted:

I live in the Low Countries, they sell bottles of Westmalle at the supermarket for �1.80 and not just assholes drink them

It's so cheap I usually use it as the base when I make stews (out of horse meat)

Just buying some Rochefort 10 in the supermarket for €2.39 :smug:

# ? Mar 23, 2017 23:59

drowned in pussy juice: Oct 13, 2009; by FactsAreUseless

CRIP EATIN BREAD posted:

the abt 12 monk looks so happy he's getting me so hosed up

i think of him as the european bhudda

# ? Mar 23, 2017 23:58

Haverchuck: May 6, 2005; the coolest

a bunch of dudes need to scramble into this thread to proclaim that: hoppy beers are a fad, not hoppy beers are a fad, the particular flavor of beer I dont like is for trendy hipsters(even though its been made for many decades), trendy hipsters drink the type of beer I like and now its making me furious, etc etc etc

# ? Mar 24, 2017 00:06

Haverchuck: May 6, 2005; the coolest

ew, only a certain type of person would consume that product. I bet he's not even a real bike messenger

# ? Mar 24, 2017 00:08

us vs also us: Jul 8, 2007; Hello! I hope you are having a nice day!

I'm just going to stick to my IPAs, thank you very much!

# ? Mar 24, 2017 00:10

Solice Kirsk: Jun 1, 2004; .

us vs also us posted:

I'm just going to stick to my IPAs, thank you very much!

Don't forget to wear your circle scarf with your vintage v-neck t-shirt you one-leg-rolled-up-skinny jean-wearing-fixy bike-riding hipster trash.

# ? Mar 24, 2017 00:17

jyrque: Sep 4, 2011; Gravy Boat 2k

Going to buy some Orval tonight, thanks thread.

# ? Mar 24, 2017 08:13

Isaac: Aug 3, 2006; Fun Shoe

My friend had a party when we were like 19 where we got up at like 5am to get ready. We had like 15 eskies of ice and each one had a case or two of trappist beer in it. By about 8 we were all set up and started drinking. I dont think the high school kids that eventually were everywhere really appreciated the beer cost hundreds if not thousands of dollars.

# ? Mar 24, 2017 09:18

twoday: May 4, 2005; C-SPAM Times best-selling author

I'm in an urban Trappist brewery in Amsterdam right now. It's kind of a weird bunker in a big empty field next to the Ikea. Apparently it is run by young hipster monks. One of them looks like he is wearing robes but is actually wrapped in an ikea curtain. I just had a "porter saison" which was really bizarre. It tasted like someone poured a saison into a bong.

This is the song they were playing just now:

quote:

The comedy of man starts like this
Our brains are way too big for our mothers' hips
And so Nature, she divines this alternative
We emerged half-formed and hope that whoever greets us on the other end
Is kind enough to fill us in
And, babies, that's pretty much how it's been ever since

Now the miracle of birth leaves a few issues to address
Like, say, that half of us are periodically iron deficient
So somebody's got to go kill something while I look after the kids
I'd do it myself, but what, are you going to get this thing its milk?
He says as soon as he gets back from the hunt, we can switch
It's hard not to fall in love with something so helpless
Ladies, I hope we don't end up regretting this

Comedy, now that's what I call pure comedy
Just waiting until the part where they start to believe
They're at the center of everything
And some all powerful being endowed this horror show with meaning

Oh, their religions are the best
They worship themselves yet they're totally obsessed
With risen zombies, celestial virgins, magic tricks, these unbelievable outfits
And they get terribly upset
When you question their sacred texts
Written by woman-hating epileptics

Their languages just serve to confuse them
Their confusion somehow makes them more sure
They build fortunes poisoning their offspring
And hand out prizes when someone patents the cure
Where did they find these goons they elected to rule them?
What makes these clowns they idolize so remarkable?
These mammals are hell-bent on fashioning new gods
So they can go on being godless animals

Oh comedy, their illusions they have no choice but to believe
Their horizons that just forever recede
And how's this for irony, their idea of being free is a prison of beliefs
That they never ever have to leave

Oh comedy, oh it's like something that a madman would conceive!
The only thing that seems to make them feel alive is the struggle to survive
But the only thing that they request is something to numb the pain with
Until there's nothing human left
Just random matter suspended in the dark
I hate to say it, but each other's all we got

It is both theological and nihilistic at the same time.

I think I'm going to try one of each of their beers and then go buy a lamp, maybe taking a nap in an ikea showroom in between.

I know it's 2 pm, but only god can judge me.

twoday fucked around with this message at 14:28 on Mar 24, 2017

# ? Mar 24, 2017 14:24

social vegan: Nov 7, 2014

don't monks also make buckfast godbless also isn't there a monastery in the US making trappist stuff now

# ? Mar 24, 2017 14:28

us vs also us: Jul 8, 2007; Hello! I hope you are having a nice day!

someone needs to explain what the hell trappist beer is to me because I am just not getting it

# ? Mar 24, 2017 14:30

twoday: May 4, 2005; C-SPAM Times best-selling author

I will now reveal the true meaning of my username.

It comes from an old Japanese expression, "Don't trust the three day monk." It means, 'don't trust someone who is devoted and passionate about something for just a short period.'

So I wanted to be called "twodaymonk" but it was already taken I think, so that is why I am Twoday.

# ? Mar 24, 2017 14:38

us vs also us: Jul 8, 2007; Hello! I hope you are having a nice day!

twoday posted:

I will now reveal the true meaning of my username.

It comes from an old Japanese expression, "Don't trust the three day monk." It means, 'don't trust someone who is devoted and passionate about something for just a short period.'

So I wanted to be called "twodaymonk" but it was already taken I think, so that is why I am Twoday.

i dont buy that twodaymonk was taken. something about this story doesn't quite add up

# ? Mar 24, 2017 14:38

twoday: May 4, 2005; C-SPAM Times best-selling author

us vs also us posted:

someone needs to explain what the hell trappist beer is to me because I am just not getting it

Its a kind of beer
that is made by Christian monks
It is pretty good

twoday fucked around with this message at 14:49 on Mar 24, 2017

# ? Mar 24, 2017 14:45

us vs also us: Jul 8, 2007; Hello! I hope you are having a nice day!

twoday posted:

Its a kind of beer
that is made by Christian monks
It is pretty good

this is just simply making no sense to me at all

# ? Mar 24, 2017 15:14

The Puppet Master: Apr 9, 2005; Would you fuck me? I'd fuck me. I'd fuck me hard.

twoday posted:

I'm in an urban Trappist brewery in Amsterdam right now.

I know it's 2 pm, but only god can judge me.

What's the name of the place?

I don't judge, it is 3:30 and I wish I was drinking now.

# ? Mar 24, 2017 15:35

Solice Kirsk: Jun 1, 2004; .

us vs also us posted:

this is just simply making no sense to me at all

Her hair was in a ponytail. And we had to shower even though we were going to be dunked in a pool.

# ? Mar 24, 2017 16:04

Lloyddy: Sep 27, 2000

Craft beers come and go but Trappist beers will be awesome for ever. You can get Chimay in the Magic Kingdom now. It's a crazy world we live in.

# ? Mar 24, 2017 17:47

To be fair...: Feb 3, 2006; Film Producer

Good beer is good beer. Can't we all just poo poo on Coors and their ilk?

I haven't had a Trappist beer but this thread has convinced me to ride my bike* to a beer store that carries it.

*(It may or may not be a DUI bike)

# ? Mar 24, 2017 17:55

twoday: May 4, 2005; C-SPAM Times best-selling author

The Puppet Master posted:

What's the name of the place?

I don't judge, it is 3:30 and I wish I was drinking now.

Kleiberg. It's not really a Trappist brewery, but it is made by monks, which technically makes it an "abbey beer"

Technically St. Bernardus isnt a trappist either, didnt realize. interesting.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trappist_beer#List_of_Trappist_breweries

twoday fucked around with this message at 21:42 on Mar 24, 2017

# ? Mar 24, 2017 21:38

Solice Kirsk: Jun 1, 2004; .

Meiers Goldbrick posted:

Good beer is good beer. Can't we all just poo poo on Coors and their ilk?

I haven't had a Trappist beer but this thread has convinced me to ride my bike* to a beer store that carries it.

*(It may or may not be a DUI bike)

Fun fact! You can still get a DUI on a bike! I think even if you're pushing it down the street, but I may be wrong on that one.

# ? Mar 24, 2017 21:43