Trappist beer

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Trappist beer

twoday: May 4, 2005; C-SPAM Times best-selling author

Aix posted:

a shop near me started selling westvleteren which i means ill be drinking $15 beer more often now. that stuff owns but seriously rochefort 10 is similar enough and only a third of the price... eh i guess when you splurge you gotta go all the way

Yeah I was drinking some westvleteren 12 the other day, pretty good. But for Rochefort, you gotta go with the 6, it accounts for only 2% of total production and it's what the monks drink themselves. Mild and smooth.

# ¿ Mar 23, 2017 11:13

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# ¿ May 21, 2024 02:45

twoday: May 4, 2005; C-SPAM Times best-selling author

Alan Smithee posted:

Beersnob named my piss the greatest brew of all time so now every craft hipster is lining up for a tap

I live in the Low Countries, they sell bottles of Westmalle at the supermarket for �1.80 and not just assholes drink them

It's so cheap I usually use it as the base when I make stews (out of horse meat)

# ¿ Mar 23, 2017 11:19

twoday: May 4, 2005; C-SPAM Times best-selling author

Trappist beer is so heavy and unfiltered and yeasty and filling because it's supposed to help you get through lent, so actually the way you're supposed to drink it is steadily throughout the entire day on an empty stomach

# ¿ Mar 23, 2017 12:32

twoday: May 4, 2005; C-SPAM Times best-selling author

please knock Mom! posted:

Hi me too

Proost, gast

# ¿ Mar 23, 2017 12:34

twoday: May 4, 2005; C-SPAM Times best-selling author

Yes, keep in mind that lent lasts 40 days

# ¿ Mar 23, 2017 14:49

twoday: May 4, 2005; C-SPAM Times best-selling author

# ¿ Mar 23, 2017 14:51

twoday: May 4, 2005; C-SPAM Times best-selling author

I'm in an urban Trappist brewery in Amsterdam right now. It's kind of a weird bunker in a big empty field next to the Ikea. Apparently it is run by young hipster monks. One of them looks like he is wearing robes but is actually wrapped in an ikea curtain. I just had a "porter saison" which was really bizarre. It tasted like someone poured a saison into a bong.

This is the song they were playing just now:

quote:

The comedy of man starts like this
Our brains are way too big for our mothers' hips
And so Nature, she divines this alternative
We emerged half-formed and hope that whoever greets us on the other end
Is kind enough to fill us in
And, babies, that's pretty much how it's been ever since

Now the miracle of birth leaves a few issues to address
Like, say, that half of us are periodically iron deficient
So somebody's got to go kill something while I look after the kids
I'd do it myself, but what, are you going to get this thing its milk?
He says as soon as he gets back from the hunt, we can switch
It's hard not to fall in love with something so helpless
Ladies, I hope we don't end up regretting this

Comedy, now that's what I call pure comedy
Just waiting until the part where they start to believe
They're at the center of everything
And some all powerful being endowed this horror show with meaning

Oh, their religions are the best
They worship themselves yet they're totally obsessed
With risen zombies, celestial virgins, magic tricks, these unbelievable outfits
And they get terribly upset
When you question their sacred texts
Written by woman-hating epileptics

Their languages just serve to confuse them
Their confusion somehow makes them more sure
They build fortunes poisoning their offspring
And hand out prizes when someone patents the cure
Where did they find these goons they elected to rule them?
What makes these clowns they idolize so remarkable?
These mammals are hell-bent on fashioning new gods
So they can go on being godless animals

Oh comedy, their illusions they have no choice but to believe
Their horizons that just forever recede
And how's this for irony, their idea of being free is a prison of beliefs
That they never ever have to leave

Oh comedy, oh it's like something that a madman would conceive!
The only thing that seems to make them feel alive is the struggle to survive
But the only thing that they request is something to numb the pain with
Until there's nothing human left
Just random matter suspended in the dark
I hate to say it, but each other's all we got

It is both theological and nihilistic at the same time.

I think I'm going to try one of each of their beers and then go buy a lamp, maybe taking a nap in an ikea showroom in between.

I know it's 2 pm, but only god can judge me.

twoday fucked around with this message at 14:28 on Mar 24, 2017

# ¿ Mar 24, 2017 14:24

twoday: May 4, 2005; C-SPAM Times best-selling author

I will now reveal the true meaning of my username.

It comes from an old Japanese expression, "Don't trust the three day monk." It means, 'don't trust someone who is devoted and passionate about something for just a short period.'

So I wanted to be called "twodaymonk" but it was already taken I think, so that is why I am Twoday.

# ¿ Mar 24, 2017 14:38

twoday: May 4, 2005; C-SPAM Times best-selling author

us vs also us posted:

someone needs to explain what the hell trappist beer is to me because I am just not getting it

Its a kind of beer
that is made by Christian monks
It is pretty good

twoday fucked around with this message at 14:49 on Mar 24, 2017

# ¿ Mar 24, 2017 14:45

twoday: May 4, 2005; C-SPAM Times best-selling author

The Puppet Master posted:

What's the name of the place?

I don't judge, it is 3:30 and I wish I was drinking now.

Kleiberg. It's not really a Trappist brewery, but it is made by monks, which technically makes it an "abbey beer"

Technically St. Bernardus isnt a trappist either, didnt realize. interesting.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trappist_beer#List_of_Trappist_breweries

twoday fucked around with this message at 21:42 on Mar 24, 2017

# ¿ Mar 24, 2017 21:38

twoday: May 4, 2005; C-SPAM Times best-selling author

wtf, are you just supposed to sit in a ditch till you sober up?

no, wait, that's loitering

# ¿ Mar 24, 2017 21:44

twoday: May 4, 2005; C-SPAM Times best-selling author

# ¿ Mar 24, 2017 22:13

twoday: May 4, 2005; C-SPAM Times best-selling author

I find deep parallels between the diets, grooming, and lifestyles of goons and those of the pyramid builders

The Chicago Tribune posted:

The workers who built the Great Pyramids of Egypt were mustached, beer-drinking, bread-and-garlic eaters who generally died in their 30s from cancer, industrial accidents and parasitic diseases, according to new archeological evidence.

Zahi Hawass, director-general of the Giza Plateau and Saqqara Archeological sites, said that excavations of 630 tombs at a recently discovered site 5 1/2 miles from downtown Cairo disprove previous contentions that the Great Pyramids were constructed by anything other than native, free-born Egyptians.

"The builders of the Great Pyramids did not come from outer space, as has been said in 200 books," he said.

The tombs, which date to about 2,600 B.C., appear to be the final resting place of the families of the manual laborers, artisans and overseers who constructed the three Great Pyramids. While Hawass had been looking for the site of the workers' village for a number of years, the two-mile-square town was discovered only in 1990, when the leg of a horse went through the roof of one of the tombs.

The excavations have since revealed that the supervisors who oversaw construction of the Great Pyramids scavenged bits of limestone, basalt and granite to construct their own pyramid-shaped houses of the dead.

Workmen used clay to build their tombs. Representative statuary found in tombs showed the workers, unlike the ruling class at the time, seem to have worn mustaches. Inscriptions also indicate that beer, bread, garlic and occasionally pork and mutton were staples in the pyramid builders' diets. A menu on one tomb wall suggested that even at this early date the Egyptians had learned to brew five types of beer and made 12 varieties of bread.

An analysis of the bodies indicated that most died in their middle to late 30s. Six had perished from industrial accidents that archeologists believe took place on the construction sites. One died from what appears to be the earliest case of cancer discovered in Egypt. Most seemed to have been afflicted with bilharzia, a parasitic disease that eventually kills people by destroying their liver and other organs.

*dies of liver disease, stinking of garlic and beer; gets kicked in the face by a horse 5000 years later*

twoday fucked around with this message at 22:37 on Mar 24, 2017

# ¿ Mar 24, 2017 22:32

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# ¿ May 21, 2024 02:45

twoday: May 4, 2005; C-SPAM Times best-selling author

imagine some drunk with a mustache not securing one of the ropes properly and one of those giant blocks sliding down a narrow ramp at high speed, plowing through 40 guys in loinclothes

# ¿ Mar 24, 2017 22:40

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Trappist beer