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Welcome to the official selection thread for the 2017 Goon Draft! This thread is only for picks. All discussion of picks will be confined to the general thread, found here https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3813894 When you post your pick, please remember to include a picture or two, and to remind the next person that they are on the clock. Edit: Here is No Butt Stuff's spreadsheet showing which of the top prospects have been picked: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/130B79wMsSDVyLDRiqic4XUJRlLFDwTJ-OtU5iHBdlUQ/edit#gid=522664237 Here is the draft order for Round 1: 1. Cleveland Gatts Myles Garrett, DE, Texas A&M 2. San Francisco Coldforge DeShone Kizer, QB, Notre Dame 3. Chicago zimbomonkey Solomon Thomas, DE, Stanford 4. Jacksonville Teva Jonathan Allen, DE, Alabama 5. Tennessee - from Los Angeles Rams Demon Of The Fall Marshon Lattimore, CB, The Ohio State University 6. New York Jets mcmagic Jamal Adams, S, LSU 7. Los Angeles Chargers HOTLANTA MAN Malik Hooker, S, The Ohio State University 8. Carolina TheFlyingLlama Leonard Fournette, RB, LSU 9. Cincinnati No Irish Need Imply Derek Barnett, DE, Tennessee 10. Buffalo fsif Mike Williams, WR, Clemson 11. New Orleans Silly Burrito Reuben Foster, ILB, Alabama 12. Cleveland - from Philadelphia Gatts OJ Howard, TE, Alabama 13. Arizona MrLogan Jabrill Peppers, S, Michigan 14. Philadelphia - from Minnesota 89 Corey Davis, WR, Western Michigan 15. Indianapolis ShakeZula Marlon Humphrey, CB, Alabama 16. Baltimore The Puppy Bowl Taco Charlton, DE, Michigan 17. Washington Beer4TheBeerGod Dalvin Cook, RB, Florida State 18. Tennessee Demon Of The Fall John Ross, WR, Washington 19. Tampa Bay wandler20 David Njoku, TE, Miami 20. Denver a neat cape Cam Robinson, OT, Alabama 21. Detroit Shangri-Law School Haason Reddick, LB, Temple 22. Miami Amy Pole Her Forrest Lamp, OG, Western Kentucky 23. New York Giants Saucer Crab Ryan Ramczyk, OT, Wisconsin 24. Oakland warcrimes Malik McDowell, DL, Michigan State 25. Houston Sad King Billy Garett Bolles, OT, Utah 26. Seattle JIZZ DENOUEMENT Dan Feeney, OG, Indiana 27. Kansas City No Butt Stuff Mitchell Trubisky, QB, North Carolina 28. Dallas incompetent Charles Harris, DE, Missouri 29. Green Bay Abugadu Christian McCaffrey, RB, Stanford 30. Pittsburgh Perry the Platypus Tim Williams, EDGE, Alabama 31. Atlanta pubic works project Zach Cunningham, LB, Vanderbilt 32. New Orleans - from New England Silly Burrito Deshaun Watson, QB, Clemson Round 2 1 (33). Cleveland Gatts Obi Melifonwu, SS, Connecticut 2 (34). San Francisco Coldforge Pat Mahomes, QB, Texas Tech 3 (35). Jacksonville Teva Taylor Moton, OG, Western Michigan 4 (36). Chicago zimbomonkey Gareon Conley, CB, The Ohio State University 5 (37). Los Angeles Rams DariusLikewise Evan Engram, TE, Ole Miss 6 (38). Los Angeles Chargers HOTLANTA MAN Teez Tabor, CB, Florida 7 (39). New York Jets mcmagic Kevin King, CB, Washington 8 (40). Carolina TheFlyingLlama Budda Baker, S, Washington 9 (41). Cincinnati No Irish Need Imply Raekwon McMillan, ILB, The Ohio State University 10 (42). New Orleans Silly Burrito Tre'Davious White, CB, LSU 11 (43). Philadelphia 89 Joe Mixon, RB, Oklahoma 12 (44). Buffalo fsif Adoree' Jackson, CB, USC 13 (45). Arizona MrLogan Sidney Jones, CB, Washington 14 (46). Indianapolis ShakeZula Takkarist McKinley, OLB, UCLA 15 (47). Baltimore The Puppy Bowl Cooper Kupp, WR, Eastern Washington 16 (48). Minnesota Eltoasto Dion Dawkins, OG, Temple 17 (49). Washington Beer4TheBeerGod Jourdan Lewis, CB, Michigan 18 (50). Tampa Bay wandler20 Marcus Williams, S, Utah 19 (51). Denver a neat cape Davis Webb III, QB, California 20 (52). Cleveland from Tennessee Gatts Nathan Peterman, QB, Pittsburgh 21 (53). Detroit Shangri-Law School TJ Watt, LB, Wisconsin 22 (54). Miami Amy Pole Her Jarrad Davis, LB, Florida 23 (55). New York Giants Saucer Crab Adam Shaheen, TE, Ashland 24 (56). Oakland warcrimes Chidobe Awuzie, CB, Colorado 25 (57). Houston Sad King Billy Pat Elflein, OC, The Ohio State University 26 (58). Seattle JIZZ DENOUEMENT Montravius Adams, DT, Auburn 27 (59). Kansas City No Butt Stuff Fabian Moreau, CB, UCLA 28 (60). Dallas incompetent Cordrea Tankersley, CB, Clemson 29 (61). Green Bay Abugadu Quincy Wilson, CB, Florida 30 (62). Pittsburgh Perry the Platypus Justin Evans, Safety, Texas A&M 31 (63). Atlanta pubic works project Caleb Brantley, DT, Florida 32 (64). Carolina - from New England TheFlyingLlama Antonio Garcia, OT, Troy Round 3 1 (65). Cleveland Gatts Chad Hansen, WR, California 2 (66). San Francisco Coldforge Derek Rivers, DE, Youngstown State 3 (67). Chicago zimbomonkey Juju Smith-Schuster, WR, USC 4 (68). Jacksonville Teva Alvin Kamara, RB, Tennessee 5 (69). Los Angeles Rams DariusLikewise Chris Wormley, DE, Michigan 6 (70). New York Jets mcmagic Curtis Samuel, RB, The Ohio State University 7 (71). Los Angeles Chargers HOTLANTA MAN Jaleel Johnson, DT, Iowa 8 (72). New England - from Carolina Detroit_Dogg Fish Smithson, S, Kansas 9 (73). Cincinnati No Irish Need Imply Ethan Pocic, OL, LSU 10 (74). Philadelphia 89 Desmond King, CB, Iowa 11 (75). Buffalo fsif Tyus Bowser, OLB, Houston 12 (76). New Orleans Silly Burrito Jordan Willis, DE, Kansas State 13 (77). Arizona MrLogan Chris Godwin, WR, Penn State 14 (78). Baltimore The Puppy Bowl Jake Butt, TE, Michigan 15 (79). Minnesota Eltoasto Larry Ogunjobi, DT, Charlotte 16 (80). Indianapolis ShakeZula Isaac Asiata, OG, Utah 17 (81). Washington Beer4TheBeerGod Carl Lawson, DE, Auburn 18 (82). Denver a neat cape Nico Siragusa, OG, San Diego State 19 (83). Tennessee Demon of the Fall Jalen-Reeves Maybin, LB, Tennessee 20 (84). Tampa Bay wandler20 Zay Jones, WR, East Carolina 21 (85). Detroit Shangri-Law School Tarell Basham, DE, Ohio 22 (86). Minnesota - from Miami Eltoasto Gerald Everett, TE, South Alabama 23 (87). New York Giants Saucer Crab Dorian Johnson, OG, Pittsburgh 24 (88). Oakland warcrimes Kendell Beckwith, LB, LSU 25 (89). Houston Sad King Billy Marcus Maye, S, Florida 26 (90). Seattle JIZZ DENOUEMENT Ahkello Witherspoon, CB, Colorado 27 (91). Kansas City No Butt Stuff Duke Riley, OLB, LSU 28 (92). Dallas incompetent Josh Jones, S, NC State 29 (93). Green Bay Abugadu Erik Magnuson, OG, Michigan 30 (94). Pittsburgh Perry the Platypus Alex Anzalone, ILB, Florida 31 (95). Atlanta pubic works project Bucky Hodges, TE, Virginia Tech 32 (96). New England Detroit_Dogg Fred Ross, WR, Mississippi State 33 (97). Miami (Compensatory Selection) Amy Pole Her Carlos Watkins, DT, Clemson 34 (98). Carolina (Compensatory Selection) TheFlyingLlama Dalvin Tomlinson, DT, Alabama 35 (99). Baltimore (Compensatory Selection) The Puppy Bowl Corn Elder, CB, Miami 36 (100). Tennessee - from Los Angeles Rams (Compensatory Selection) Demon of the Fall Tanoh Kpassagnon, DE, Villanova 37 (101). Denver (Compensatory Selection) a neat cape Eddie Vanderdoes, DT, UCLA 38 (102). Seattle (Compensatory Selection) JIZZ DENOUEMENT Roderick Johnson, OT, Florida State 39 (103). New Orleans - from New England through Cleveland (Compensatory Selection) Silly Burrito David Sharpe, OT, Florida 40 (104). Kansas City (Compensatory Selection) No Butt Stuff Ryan Anderson, OLB, Alabama 41 (105). Pittsburgh (Compensatory Selection) Perry the Platypus Marlon Mack, RB, USF 42 (106). Seattle (Compensatory Selection) JIZZ DENOUEMENT ArDarius Stewart, WR, Alabama 43 (107). New York Jets (Compensatory Selection) mcmagic Brandon Barnes, TE Alabama St Round 4 1 (108). Cleveland Gatts Colin Holba, LS, Louisville 2 (109). San Francisco Coldforge Dede Westbrook, WR, Oklahoma 3 (110). Jacksonville Teva Demarcus Walker, DE, Florida St 4 (111). Chicago zimbomonkey Davon Godchaux, DT, LSU 5 (112). Los Angeles Rams DariusLikewise Malachi Dupre, WR, LSU 6 (113). Los Angeles Chargers HOTLANTA MAN Amara Darboh, WR, Michigan 7 (114). Washington - from New York Jets Beer4TheBeerGod Rasul Douglas, CB, West Virginia 8 (115). Carolina TheFlyingLlama Trey Hendrickson, DE, Florida Atlantic 9 (116). Cincinnati NoIrishNeedImply Josh Reynolds, WR, Texas A&M 10 (117). Chicago - from Buffalo zimbomonkey Shaq Griffin, CB, UCF 12 (118). Philadelphia 89 Cameron Sutton, CB, Tennessee 13 (119). Arizona MrLogan Brad Kaaya, QB, Miami 14 (120). Minnesota Eltoasto Samaje Perine, RB, Oklahoma 15 (121). Indianapolis ShakeZula Connor Harris, ILB, Lindenwood 16 (122). Baltimore The Puppy Bowl D'onta Foreman, RB, Texas 17 (123). Washington Beer4TheBeerGod Carlos Henderson, WR, Louisiana Tech 18 (124). Tennessee Demon of the Fall Joshua Dobbs, QB, Tennessee 19 (125). Tampa Bay wandler20 Kareem Hunt, RB, Toledo 20 (126). Denver a neat cape Jordan Leggett, TE, Clemson 21 (127). Detroit Shangri-Law School George Kittle, TE, Iowa 22 (128). Minnesota - from Miami Eltoasto Vince Biegel, OLB, Wisconsin 23 (129). Oakland warcrimes Tedric Thompson, FS, Colorado 24 (130). Houston Sad King Billy Damontae Kazee, CB, San Diego State 25. (131). New England - from Seattle (Forfeited) Detroit_Dogg Jake Elliott, K, Memphis 26 (132). Kansas City No Butt Stuff Wayne Gallman, RB, Clemson 27 (133). Dallas incompetent Deatrich Wise Jr., DE, Arkansas 28 (134). Green Bay Abugadu Zach Banner, OL, USC 29 (135). Pittsburgh Perry the Platypus Noah Brown, WR, The Ohio State University 30 (136). Atlanta pubic works project Danny Isidora, OG, University of Miami 31 (137). Indianapolis - from New England ShakeZula Howard Wilson, CB, Houston 32 (138). Cincinnati (Compensatory Selection) No Irish Need Imply John Connor, RB, Pittsburgh 33 (139). Philadelphia - from Cleveland (Compensatory Selection) 89 Joe Mathis, DL, Washington 34 (140). New York Giants Saucer Crab Vincent Taylor, DT, Oklahoma State 35 (141). Los Angeles Rams (Compensatory Selection) DariusLikewise Jeremy McNichols, RB, Boise State 36 (142). Houston - from Cleveland (Compensatory Selection) Sad King Billy Anthony Walker Jr, LB, NorthWestern 37 (143). San Francisco (Compensatory Selection) Coldforge Jeremy Sprinkle, TE, Arkansas 38 (144). Indianapolis (Compensatory Selection) ShakeZula Jonnu Smith, TE, Florida International Gatts and the Cleveland Browns are on the clock! ShakeZula fucked around with this message at 00:52 on Apr 28, 2017 |
# ¿ Mar 24, 2017 01:49 |
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# ¿ May 3, 2024 00:20 |
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With the 15th pick in the 2017 Goon Draft, the Indianapolis Colts select Marlon Humphrey, CB, Alabama The Baltimore Ravens and The Puppy Bowl are on the clock
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# ¿ Mar 27, 2017 03:35 |
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With the 46th pick in the 2017 Goon Draft, the Indianapolis Colts absolutely sprint to the podium and select Takkarist McKinley, OLB, UCLA The Baltimore Ravens and The Puppy Bowl are on the clock
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# ¿ Apr 2, 2017 17:04 |
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With the 72nd pick in the Goon Draft, the New England Patriots select Fish Smithson, S, Kansas
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# ¿ Apr 10, 2017 21:15 |
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With the 80th pick in the 2017 Goon Draft, the Indianapolis Colts select Isaac Asiata, OG, Utah Beer4TheBeerGod and the Washington Redskins are on the clock
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# ¿ Apr 13, 2017 03:50 |
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With the 90th pick of the 2017 Goon Draft, the Seattle Seahawks have empowered the commissioner to announce their pick: Ahkello Witherspoon, CB, Colorado No Butt Stuff and the Kansas City Chiefs are on the clock
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# ¿ Apr 15, 2017 19:01 |
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With the 96th pick, the New England Patriots realize they're overmatched by all these other skilled GMs and in their blind panic are barely able to stammer out the name of Fred Ross, WR, Mississippi State Amy Pole Her and the Miami Dolphins are on the clock
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# ¿ Apr 18, 2017 03:15 |
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The Miami Dolphins amend their earlier pick and select Carlos Watkins, DT, Clemson a neat cape and the Broncos are on the clock
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# ¿ Apr 19, 2017 14:17 |
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With the 101st pick, the Denver Broncos use all of the clock to select Eddie Vanderdoes, DT, UCLA JIZZ DENOUEMENT and the Seattle Seahawks are on the clock
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# ¿ Apr 20, 2017 14:04 |
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With the 106th pick, the Seattle Seahawks select ArDarius Stewart, WR, Alabama mcmagic and the New York Jets are on the clock
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# ¿ Apr 22, 2017 22:09 |
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With the 15th pick in the 4th round of the 2017 Goon Draft, the Indianapolis Colts select Connor Harris, ILB, Lindenwood The Puppy Bowl and the Baltimore Ravens are on the clock
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# ¿ Apr 25, 2017 02:28 |
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With the 126th pick in the 2017 Goon Draft the Denver Broncos select Jordan Leggett, TE, Clemson Shangri-Law School and the Detroit Lions are on the clock
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# ¿ Apr 26, 2017 04:59 |
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Like hell they are With the 131st pick in he 2017 NFL Goon Draft, the New England Patriots select Jake Elliott, K, Memphis No Butt Stuff and the Kansas City Chiefs are on the clock
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# ¿ Apr 26, 2017 06:49 |
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With the 135th pick in the 2017 Goon Draft the Pittsburgh Steelers select Noah Brown, WR, The Ohio State University pubic works project and the Atlanta Falcons are on the clock
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# ¿ Apr 27, 2017 13:47 |
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With the 137th pick in the 2017 Goon Draft the Indianapolis Colts select Howard Wilson, CB, Houston
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# ¿ Apr 27, 2017 17:37 |
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# ¿ May 3, 2024 00:20 |
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With the 143rd and FINAL pick in the 2017 Goon Draft, the Indianapolis Colts select Jonnu Smith, TE, Florida International
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# ¿ Apr 28, 2017 00:50 |