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 "I bid zero!" lol that's not a smart move, dude! Spades Have you played Hearts? Yes. Otherwise you didn't have a computer in the 90s. Spades is basically like Hearts or Bridge (but you don't know about that latter one unless you're a woman). Four people, shuffle deck and distribute 13 random cards to each person, person across from you is your partner. Each hand consists of thirteen "tricks". A trick is where each person plays one card in clockwise order. Person who won the last trick leads. Person clockwise from the dealer leads first trick. The highest card in the suit that was lead (there is an exception to this - hold on one second) wins the trick. You must play a card matching the leading suit if able. If you are not able, you can play any other card. The exception: More accurately - the highest spade played in the trick wins it. If no spades were played, then the highest card in the leading suit wins. You may not play a spade in a trick if you have a card matching the leading suit (just to re-iterate what should already be clear from the above point). You may not lead spades until spades have been "broken" (played because someone was out of a suit). In cards lingo, you would call spades a "trump" suit. After you all get and look (in secret) at your cards and before you play any tricks, you have to bid. You look at your cards and try to guess how many tricks you can win. This is called a "bid". Bids are made clockwise starting with the first person clockwise from the dealer. If you and your partner win at least as many tricks as you bid, you earn ten points times your total bid. (You also earn a "bag" for each trick you win over your bid. If you acquire ten bags in a game, you lose 100 points.) It doesn't matter when you or your partner win the tricks. You just add your bids and between you both you have to make it. If you fail to meet your bid, you lose ten points times your total bid. You can bid "zero", which is a special exception. This means YOU personally plan to take NO tricks. If you succeed, you get 100 points for your bid along with whatever amount corresponding to what your partner bid. First team to reach 500 points after a hand wins. It's considered very bad form to communicate to your partner which suit he should lead. Typical punishments include saying "woah woah woah" or getting beat the gently caress up and robbed, depending on the neighborhood. So why Spades? Hearts is probably real annoying to play outside of a computer. You have to tally up hearts instead of tallying up tricks. Also there's no partner so you don't build a lot of camaraderie. You either fuckin everyone or gettin hosed by everyone. Bridge is probably better than Spades for long-term playing, but seriously - who plays cards that much and hasn't graduated to hard-core strategy games instead? Spades is easy to learn and very fun. It's the card game of choice in prisons (no clue why - someone get on that). If it's so easy, why play? Easy to learn. Difficult to master. You have to strike a balance between bidding recklessly and conservatively. You have to learn to keep track of what's been played (has someone played the ace of diamonds yet? Then you can probably expect to win a diamond-led trick with your King of diamonds.) I've been playing it over twenty years. I want to share my stories about Spades and banter a bit about the game. Where can I do that? I left you some space just below this sentence. 
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Mar 24, 2017 06:54
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I played this a bunch in grade school
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Mar 24, 2017 06:58
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And 
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Mar 24, 2017 06:58
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i play poker at casinos get a fat stack then go all in on 7 2 offsuit and people look at me sadly like a broken person can i do that with this game?
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Mar 24, 2017 07:00
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fbsw posted:i play poker at casinos get a fat stack then go all in on 7 2 offsuit and people look at me sadly like a broken person Yah. Like the op said, you go nil. Or, if you really want to pound your pud, you go double nil.
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Mar 24, 2017 07:02
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When I worked at Fastenal we weren't allowed to call the spades spades, because it was a racist term. I could never tell if the dude was pulling my leg about calling a spade a spade or if he was serious, he didn't seem like he was joking.
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Mar 24, 2017 07:01
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It's time to d-d-duel
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Mar 24, 2017 07:03
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Why not euchre, OP?
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Mar 24, 2017 07:07
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I had a lot of fun playing Spades with my black friends at college.
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Mar 24, 2017 07:08
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I don't mind Bridge for Ethnics at all, it's a fine game But poker is the dish
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Mar 24, 2017 07:08
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fbsw posted:i play poker at casinos get a fat stack then go all in on 7 2 offsuit and people look at me sadly like a broken person I was just in Vegas and I want to play cards with an actual dealer but I'm terrified of loving it up. Especially socially loving it up (you can just wave your hand or touch the table and that decides the fate of a stack of cash!?!?). But also financially. Like, at $5-20 minimum a hand, I feel like I have to be counting cards or be playing the odds at savant levels just to break even. Maybe when I'm richer.
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Mar 24, 2017 07:47
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FaradayCage posted:I was just in Vegas and I want to play cards with an actual dealer but I'm terrified of loving it up. Especially socially loving it up (you can just wave your hand or touch the table and that decides the fate of a stack of cash!?!?). But also financially. you will absolutely gently caress it up socially but just tell them it's your first time and nobody will give a poo poo. ppl at table and dealer will help you out if someone goes "psshhhh" everyone will call them a human being yes chip etiquette is pretty retarded, look up "string betting" lmao. though vocalizing literally everything kinda saves you from this, it also makes you look like a noob (which you are so it's okay!) skill-wise for poker if you can go positive online over a lot of hands, even with free chips, you can prob do it in a live game once you get comfortable with it
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Mar 24, 2017 07:57
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The fact that you are willing to learn something before you thrust yourself into a game of chance speaks to your willingness to learn said game. HTH
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Mar 24, 2017 08:00
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fbsw posted:you will absolutely gently caress it up socially but just tell them it's your first time and nobody will give a poo poo. ppl at table and dealer will help you out If you play blackjack, is making a quip about "it's not like I'm counting cards" basically the same as saying "it's not like I've got a bomb" on an airplane?
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Mar 24, 2017 08:06
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it kinda seems like it would be easy to cheat? I've never played but what if a dude said 'oh yeah i have none of that suit' is there a judge looking at their cards? unless you have an incredibly specific memory it might be hard to say who's cards were who's at the end and prove that he played a card illegally? I guess if you remember that they say they don't have a certain suit and then see them play one later its obvious but this game sounds like theres usually lots of booze involved
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Mar 24, 2017 08:08
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Oh no, people are already trying to cheat the system that is in place. My god, what a loving shocker!? Human beings attempting to take advantage of the situation they have been thrust into, my god what a world...what a world?
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Mar 24, 2017 08:09
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You've got to play all your cards eventually and there's only 13 hands so good luck pulling that off. If you want a game that actively encourages bullshitting, play street rules dominoes.
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Mar 24, 2017 08:10
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LonesomeCrowdedWest posted:it kinda seems like it would be easy to cheat? I've never played but what if a dude said 'oh yeah i have none of that suit' is there a judge looking at their cards? unless you have an incredibly specific memory it might be hard to say who's cards were who's at the end and prove that he played a card illegally? I guess if you remember that they say they don't have a certain suit and then see them play one later its obvious but this game sounds like theres usually lots of booze involved It's usually a game you play with friends/family and lol if you cheat at games you play with friends/family. Someone being out of a suit is usually a very obvious moment in the game and half-competent players will remember it. ("Don't play this suit because opponent will trump") Very rarely there is a moment of ambiguity and disagreement. Strangely, it's not usually because of cheating or mis-reading the lead suit. It happens more often (but still extremely rarely) at the end game when someone says "I believe the rest of the tricks are ours" and shows his cards - only to find out that at least one of the tricks are not necessarily theirs.
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Mar 24, 2017 08:21
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FaradayCage posted:If you play blackjack, is making a quip about "it's not like I'm counting cards" basically the same as saying "it's not like I've got a bomb" on an airplane? i rarely play blackjack so idk. it wouldn't surprise me. i was at a table once where guy made a big raise and the dealer said "haha i bet you've got pocket kings or something" and everything got real loving weird. i personally wouldn't unless you're trying to goon it up.
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Mar 24, 2017 08:22
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FaradayCage posted:It's usually a game you play with friends/family and lol if you cheat at games you play with friends/family. OH MY GOD! How dare these people remember things that have happened and use their ability to remember said things as an advantage! Don't memory shame! 
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Mar 24, 2017 08:24
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FaradayCage posted:It's usually a game you play with friends/family and lol if you cheat at games you play with friends/family. i only cheat at games with friends/family lmao
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Mar 24, 2017 08:28
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fbsw posted:i only cheat at games with friends/family lmao So like, cheating at marriage?
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Mar 24, 2017 08:30
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im glad the thread has turned from the op talking about a card game to goons therapying him through his dumb social phobia
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Mar 24, 2017 08:37
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not better than cribbage
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Mar 24, 2017 08:36
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LonesomeCrowdedWest posted:it kinda seems like it would be easy to cheat? I've never played but what if a dude said 'oh yeah i have none of that suit' is there a judge looking at their cards? unless you have an incredibly specific memory it might be hard to say who's cards were who's at the end and prove that he played a card illegally? I guess if you remember that they say they don't have a certain suit and then see them play one later its obvious but this game sounds like theres usually lots of booze involved This is how cheating is done in Bridge and Spades: https://youtu.be/831tJ4EHLBY It's a constant problem in competitive matches.
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Mar 24, 2017 08:38
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Sheep-Goats posted:This is how cheating is done in Bridge and Spades: Oh My god, humans paired off in a competitive format that benefits them to collude and they, *GASP* COLLUDE!? 
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Mar 24, 2017 08:42
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fbsw posted:if someone goes "psshhhh" everyone will call them a human being Robo Reagan posted:im glad the thread has turned from the op talking about a card game to goons therapying him through his dumb social phobia human being Meredith Baxter-Burnout posted:So like, cheating at marriage? are you hitting on me 
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Mar 24, 2017 08:42
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VendaGoat posted:Oh My god, humans paired off in a competitive format that benefits them to collude and they, *GASP* COLLUDE!? cheating is part of every game and is just the most high risk high reward strategy
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Mar 24, 2017 08:44
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fbsw posted:human being 
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Mar 24, 2017 08:47
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fbsw posted:cheating is part of every game and is just the most high risk high reward strategy
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Mar 24, 2017 08:48
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FaradayCage posted:If you play blackjack, is making a quip about "it's not like I'm counting cards" basically the same as saying "it's not like I've got a bomb" on an airplane? No. In Atlantic City they have to permit you to play even if you announce you are counting. They just put continuous shufflers on all the tables to prevent counting from ever giving you an edge. In Vegas they can back you off but in general will probably not bother unless you are actually a threat. Making money counting requires betting more when than count is good than when it is bad and you need a spread in your bets. Say you somehow found a 5 dollar game that wasn't a 6:5 piece of poo poo. You would have to be playing ~30 dollars a hand when the count was good to have a chance of making up what you paid while it wasn't (shoe always begins bad). Anyway if you're flatbetting anyway why would they care if you count? Modern practice for serious counters is always team play where one guy counts then signals a conspirator to sit and bet big when the count goes high enough to get around alerting the pit to counting through a betting spread. To counter this they will sometimes refuse to let players enter mid shoe in particular circumstances. Anyway blackjack sucks to play and is an unpleasant game. Pai Gow, craps, and of course poker are the three games you should stick to as a gentleman capable of distinction.
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Mar 24, 2017 08:49
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VendaGoat posted:Oh My god, humans paired off in a competitive format that benefits them to collude and they, *GASP* COLLUDE!? In this case it ruins the game unfortunately.
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Mar 24, 2017 08:51
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Sheep-Goats posted:In this case it ruins the game unfortunately. Oh, I'm sorry. I couldn't ever expect a human being to find some said advantage and attempt to exploit it. This has never happened before. Ever in the history of all of mankind. No person has ever taken an undue advantage because they perceived a flaw in said system. What a bunch of loving cowards that never attempted to usurp the status quo. Oh the heresy. Oh the travesty. Shall we have every individual that has ever, and will ever, engage in such an entrepreneurial advantage flogged?
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Mar 24, 2017 08:54
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VendaGoat posted:Shall we have every individual that has ever, and will ever, engage in such an entrepreneurial advantage flogged? no rich people are our betters
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Mar 24, 2017 09:02
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I played this when I was in the clink.
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Mar 24, 2017 09:03
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I dont hang out with any of my card playing friends anymore my friends now are too cooked to know where they are let alone play a card game. I miss playing hearts at 3am with a brain full of speed and booze.
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Mar 24, 2017 09:06
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This game sounds like a just generally better version of hearts I wanna try make a game next time im in the city.
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Mar 24, 2017 09:07
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fbsw posted:no rich people are our betters I don't know you, but simply based on recent posts I have read by you. I am inclined to agreed with what you posted here. Other circumstances may dictate a differing opinion, but gently caress you.
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Mar 24, 2017 09:11
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My internet cant handle most online games but it should definitely handle cards. Is there a site where gbs could play cards with one another?
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Mar 24, 2017 09:12
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VendaGoat posted:Oh, I'm sorry. I couldn't ever expect a human being to find some said advantage and attempt to exploit it. This has never happened before. Ever in the history of all of mankind. No person has ever taken an undue advantage because they perceived a flaw in said system. I don't get the shtick. Are you building up to the part where you admit you're basically Rick Hoffman's character in any of his works?
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Mar 24, 2017 09:14
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