The Eternal Empress - Total Warhammer - The Something Awful Forums

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Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

Whereas I appreciate it because I have played the game but didn't get very far due to getting kinda bogged down in the mechanics, and so this'll all be very helpful when I take another stab later.

# ¿ Mar 26, 2017 02:34

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# ¿ Apr 29, 2024 09:10

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

John Charity Spring posted:

You posted in the time I took to reply and I didn't notice it - it wasn't an attempted correction of you!

I'm really enjoying this LP by the way (and generally having two Warhammer LPs active at once). Excited to see the tag-team power-couple fall on Mannfred soon.

"MANFRED VON CARSTEIN YOU WILL COME DOWN HERE THIS INSTANT! And then you will go to your room. Betraying your father and getting him killed is a 100 years grounding, young man."

Followed by lecturing about 'What happened to your hair, you used to dress so well' and 'Please stop trying to sound like you chew gravel, it isn't fooling anyone.'

# ¿ Mar 29, 2017 15:30

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

Klaus88 posted:

Counterpoint: Manfred literally back stabbed the dude who was keeping the world from exploding during the end times.

I don't think anyone's actions in that piece of poo poo can be held against them because that was so goddamn far off the rails it's not worth considering.

I like Manny as a character and as a villain. His cowardice and caution are actually kind of refreshing in a setting full of bravado and make a good fatal flaw; he's so obsessed with getting his plans perfect that he hesitates at every key moment. He's not undone by hubris, he's undone by his very real awareness that 'holy poo poo I can actually die'.

# ¿ Mar 29, 2017 17:47

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

wiegieman posted:

Channeling enables replenishment for Vamprie Counts, since their armies are all held together with black magic anyway. I like the flavor for their "civic" buildings, too: the Empire grows a province by building up the economy, but the Vampires grow their infrastructure by making it a more awful place to live, attracting necromancers and other unsavory types, and turning more people into vampires.

In the WHFRP2e book for the Vampire Counts, it lists the only major exports of Sylvania as 'Misery, death.'

The finest misery and death in all the Old World!

# ¿ Mar 30, 2017 03:33

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

ZearothK posted:

Actually, it is fear and death! Though misery and death sound better.

Speaking of which, Sylvania is just a delight place to live in.

Sylvania is just the best.

# ¿ Mar 30, 2017 19:35

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

Trujillo posted:

If you're wondering why there's so many dislikes on the trailer it's because for some reason people were expecting the reveal to be Total War: Mesoamerica or something and are angry that Creative Assembly is making this game alongside historical games instead of exclusively making purely historical games so they're signing petitions and trying to get a boycott going.

Ah, yes. Gamer boycotts. Something with a long and storied history of total success.

Admittedly: Total War: Mesoamerica would actually be pretty interesting.

# ¿ Mar 31, 2017 21:59

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

It's kind of hilarious how everyone is hype for the lizards or rats, and no-one gives a poo poo about the two flavors of elf. :allears:

# ¿ Apr 1, 2017 03:06

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

Arglebargle III posted:

Why ride dinosaurs when you can is dinosaurs?

Who also ride dinosaurs, so you know.

# ¿ Apr 1, 2017 03:35

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

Yeah, I was saying that as someone who likes hams elves, but likes them entirely because they're the elf you've seen a million times just nobody actually puts up with their bullshit here.

# ¿ Apr 1, 2017 03:46

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

White Coke posted:

The lore is full of examples of Skaven assassinating leaders to cause civil war, but I wonder how many plots against the skaven have caused them to have civil wars.

The Skaven national passtime is civil war.

After all, all other races are inferior furless losers, so one's only REAL threat is another skaven, right? And every single skaven believes he's the greatest skaven to ever skaven.

A little like Carsteins, really.

# ¿ Apr 1, 2017 04:13

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

Green Intern posted:

Also, if I recall correctly, Halfling blood tastes terrible to vampires, so they're not really used as a food source.

It's a mixture of this, and Von Carsteins are incredibly arrogant. So whenever one of them gears up to conquer the Moot, the others make fun of them. This is enough to make them stop and pretend it was a joke anyway.

Vampires are surprisingly similar to teenagers.

# ¿ Apr 4, 2017 23:40

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

JT Jag posted:

What, do Vampires only like the blood of miserable, sad beings, and halflings are just too jolly for them?

Halflings are exceedingly resistant to magic and chaos both, and its theorized vampires feed on the magic in peoples' blood. One of the reasons they find elves to be incredibly rich desserts.

# ¿ Apr 4, 2017 23:47

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

The halflings basically maintain their independence half because they're so insufferably petty and annoying that no-one wants to bother administering the Moot, too.

# ¿ Apr 4, 2017 23:51

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

White Coke posted:

Abhorash was a pretty strong willed guy, so he had his bloodthirsty as under control as anyone could. I think it just removed the need for blood for sustenance. I don't know if it removed any of the other weaknesses. I'm inclined to say that it didn't, its just that dragons are so naturally magical that it provides the drinker all the sustenance they'd ever need. And any vampire can do it, a Necrarch named Zacharius the Everliving managed to find a Black Dragon and drink her dry.

Admittedly he wasn't at all under control when he did that. Losing the city of Lahmia drove him pretty insane and he basically decided 'gently caress it, I hate everyone and we're monsters no matter how much we pretend. C'mon, boys, let's kill whatever the hell we want.'

To this day, the orcs of the Badlands tell legends about being attacked by 'massive armies' of 'throat-rippers'. It was just Abhorash and a couple of his surviving students. He just happened to find the dragon in his insane blood rage and try to take it on, drinking it after he struck it down. Which then cured his bloodlust and basically made him sane again, as the legend goes.

# ¿ Apr 5, 2017 13:09

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

Also note: Chaos HATES undeath. Hates-hates-hates. Necromancy doesn't stem from any of the Gods and is inherently the power of stasis, plus things like Vampires can never actually rest. When a vampire dies, their soul is stuck in the world. This means they can be called back by a sufficiently powerful ritual, but it also means they don't go to any of the afterlives; Chaos absolutely cannot get at a vampire's soul and this pisses them off to no end.

For their part, the vamps don't like Chaos because they don't really want to see the world destroyed or the people exterminated. They want to rule the world, not blow it up.

# ¿ Apr 6, 2017 20:52

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

Also the Chaos Dwarves' entire culture is based around trying to fulfill the insane mechanisms and orders Hatshut passes down to them. All the forbidden magic, all the slavery, all the insane and horrifying industry, is all because their God demands they build, and so they build. They don't know to what final end all of it is going at all.

Chaos Dorfs don't get enough attention paid to them but they're cool villains.

# ¿ Apr 7, 2017 17:36

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

Skaven are wonderful because they're a mockery of neo-nazis. A bunch of screaming rat-bastards who love impractical superweapons and talk a big game about being the master race until the second they descend into backstabbing and treachery and/or don't outnumber you 50 to 1 and run off swearing they'll totally get you next time.

# ¿ May 15, 2017 00:50

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

glocknar posted:

Oh man, Archaon is gonna have a bad day when he runs into the True Imperial Power Couple.

I mean, they have insane things like personalities and goals! How could he hope to compete?

# ¿ Jun 21, 2017 14:52

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

Perestroika posted:

Oh man, it never gets old to see Archaeon the Everfailure just get utterly clowned on.

Walked directly into the real big bad and got murdered instantly like the poseur he is.

Bonus points for Archaon falling for the very first trap he saw. Very lore accurate to his abilities are a general.

# ¿ Jun 23, 2017 18:28

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

Like, I know GW can't write a good commander very often, but the canonical Archaon in the original Storm of Chaos tried to bypass a ton of Kislevite fortifications without bothering to secure them, didn't leave enough forces behind to deal with them, slammed face first into the strongest defensive point in all of the Empire, faltered completely, and also decided it was a clever idea to send a 'flanking' force through goddamn Sylvania on the assumption they wouldn't hit trouble there.

Which led to Manfred of all people dunking on his guys. Archaon was so bad he let MANFRED dunk on him.

# ¿ Jun 23, 2017 19:07

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

Archaon is basically the epitome of GW's tendency towards 'This guy is a completely worthless character, general, and concept, but we've decided he's going to win so goddamnit here are all the pluses we can muster' and there's a reason everyone loves kicking his rear end so much in this game.

E: The reason I'll always love the original Storm of Chaos is because it culminated in the equally bland 'sigmar reborn' Valten, who like Archaon I can't remember actually saying a single thing, having a completely irrelevant punch-up with Archaon that didn't resolve anything while all the better characters won the war around them. The total irrelevance of the champion of good and champion of evil was great and would've been incredible if it had been in any way intentional on GW's part.

Night10194 fucked around with this message at 19:54 on Jun 23, 2017

# ¿ Jun 23, 2017 19:51

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

Valten caused a religious crisis in the Empire because a dipshit priest named Huss ran around declaring this random blacksmith's son sigmar reborn and the current Grand Theoganist after Volkmar got murked was unpopular, so it caught on a bit. Karl Franz, realizing he couldn't just dismiss this crazy religious mania, responded to the demands that he step aside and let this random kid and his religious fanatic buddy become Emperor by instead embracing him and declaring him the Empire's great champion and giving him the hammer to wield while remaining Emperor and in charge of everything. Valten then proceeded to go fight Archaon, mostly lose to him, Archaon gets punched out by Grimgor who moonwalks off the stage and drops the mic, and then while Valten is recovering in bed the Skaven stab him in the dick out of spite because the Skaven were the only evil force that got anything done in the Storm.

Then people make up conspiracy theories about Franz letting Valten die to remove a threat to his rule. The Valten subplot is fine, but he himself was super bland.

# ¿ Jun 23, 2017 20:32

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

The original Storm of Chaos could've been a fantastic plot point for the setting if GW had embraced what actually happened during it as a sign of the turn of an age.

Instead they rewrote the whole thing so that it had plot points like 'Well the issue with Valten was he and Franz both had the Sigmar juice but because they didn't have enough in one Great Man Chaos won' and threw their rattle out of the pram over how their players had 'ruined' the apocalypse last go at it.

# ¿ Jun 23, 2017 20:39

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

I mean Vlad is a brutal egomaniac tyrant who has fits of murderous temper that are absolutely legendary. He's still a bad guy, just one with a bit of nuance who wants to rule the world instead of destroy it, and partly wants to rule the world because he genuinely thinks he'd do a good job.

# ¿ Jun 24, 2017 23:08

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

Really, the problem is mostly that the average vampire does as much bad poo poo as the average noble while also eating people. It's less a matter of better or worse and more of 'almost directly equivalent'.

Also note almost every major war against the vampires (and by the vampires) usually boils down to normal human political motivations like conquest and civil conflict.

# ¿ Jun 25, 2017 01:13

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

ZearothK posted:

I just want to say that I remembered that story and it prompted me to spend like 15 minutes through my WFRP books trying to find the original version of it, until I found it in Realms of Sorcery. It was the count of Stirland too, screw those guys.

If there is one thing every Sylvanian (and halfling) knows, it's that Sitrlanders are dicks.

# ¿ Jun 25, 2017 03:05

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# ¿ Apr 29, 2024 09:10

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

World saved? Check.

World conquered? Check.

Looked fabulous while doing it? Check.

That's some right proper Carsteinin'.

# ¿ Jun 25, 2017 03:16

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