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Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



The end, no moral.

AsInHowe posted:

He died doing what he loved, killing people

dang.

----------

They're gonna do an autopsy and find out he had mega-CTE.

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Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



Bip Roberts posted:

How pissed would you be if you just had to sit on that jury.

You got to listen to a guy with a shot out eye talk about how he didn't go to the cops because he wanted to kill Aaron himself, who himself was serving time for shooting people in another nightclub.

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



The prison guards probably killed Aaron, of this I have no doubt.

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



sean10mm posted:

Brady bailing on Trump - at the last possible second, no less! - for "family matters" is so funny I don't even :laffo:

It's real good.

Kraft and the half dozen roster bubble players most scared of losing their jobs are going to have a grand ol' time today.

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



Crazy Ted posted:

Donald Trump is going to be especially salty today lol

2 more moabs for some goat farmer in Kabul.

Crazy Ted posted:

This isn't the first time Brady has skipped the Whitehouse visit either. Dude thinks he's more important than the President :colbert:

He's correct.

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



Good news: Every edgelord in boston gets to re-use their Aaron Hernandez costume by tying a bedsheet around their neck this year.

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



So, due to some weird massachusetts law (case example: US v.Sheehan (D.Mass. 1994)) , dying while under appeal means his conviction for Odin Lloyd will be overturned.

Aaron Hernandez died an innocent man in the eyes of the court.

This also likely protects whatever remains of his estate for his daughter.

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



Who do you think gave Aaron the Frankie Pentangeli pep talk?

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



So just so this isn't just 100% Patriots talk. Jameis Winston is entering his 3rd year.

He will almost certainly be the Buccaneers franchise leading passer by the end of his 4th.

He's 6700 yards behind Vinny Testaverde who is the Buccaneers' all time passing leader at 14,820 yards.

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



MY NIGGA D-LINK posted:

It's all over Pittsburgh news that the Pouncey brothers paid his legal fees for the acquittal trial, so I don't imagine there's much there regardless

That may be all originating from Ron Borges who is often lying, so grain of salt and all that.

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



Eli Wiggum posted:

Would that make him the fastest quarterback to become his team's franchise passing leader?

You'd probably have to set a time limit, because a bunch of franchises didn't start with good quarterbacks.

Like, the Panthers started with Kerry Collins for 3 years and put up 8300 yards, then was replaced with Steve Beurlein who put up 12690 in his 3 years there.

E: The Bengals' leader changes 3 times in their first 6 years.

1968: John Strofa 896 yards
1969: Greg Cook 1854 yards
1970-71: Virgil Carter: 3271 yards
1972-73: Ken Anderson: 4346 yards (32838 in total by 1986).

Kalli fucked around with this message at 16:10 on Apr 19, 2017

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



Kirios posted:

I thought this was a dumb joke, so I googled it out of curiosity.

loving WHAT?! WHY?!

He is besties with Mojo Rawley and apparently their families are longtime friends and his family helped him get into WWE's developmental league or something.

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



Eli Wiggum posted:

I think he was more upset about Jinder being #1 contender

Ohhhh, yeah I had no idea who that dude was, but thanks to exploded mummy I now know exactly why Vince loves him and wants to dress him in robes and finery.

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



Volkerball posted:

Mark is the most proletarian owner.

I read that as poletarian and thought you were joking about how everyone at a strip club claims they're dancing to pay for college.

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



Here are the Patriots players that skipped the white house visit:

Tom Brady
LeGarrette Blount
Brandon Bolden
Dion Lewis
James White

Danny Amendola
Michael Floyd
Martellus Bennett
Shaq Mason
LaAdrian Waddle

Alan Branch
Malcolm Brown
Chris Long
Vincent Valentine
Dont'a Hightower

Barkevious Mingo
Malcolm Butler
Patrick Chung
Duron Harmon
Cyrus Jones

Devin McCourty
Logan Ryan
Ryan Allen
Jonathan Freeny
Tre' Jackson

Greg Scruggs
Chris Baker
Trevor Bates
Jamil Douglas
Chase Farris

Tyler Gaffney
Woodrow Hamilton
Devin Lucien
DeAndrew White

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



Now here's who went:

Jimmy Garoppolo
Julian Edelman
James Develin
Jabaal Sheard
Justin Coleman

Rob Gronkowski
Glenn Gronkowski
David Andrews
Marcus Cannon
Stephen Gostkowski

Jacoby Brissett
Sebastian Vollmer
Chris Hogan
Nate Ebner
Malcolm Mitchell

Matt Lengel
Nate Solder
Cameron Fleming
Darius Kilgo
Rob Ninkovich

Joe Cardona
Trey Flowers
Jonathan Jones
Ted Karras
Joe Thuney

Shea McClellan
DJ Foster
Elandon Roberts
Gene Grissom
Eric Rowe

Mathew Slater
Jordan Richards
Kyle Van Noy
Brandon King

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



Vincent Van Goatse posted:

Vampires hate Trump, I guess.

Sadly, three years too old to be named after him. It's really funny to look at the results for the name "Cloud" starting in around 1998 though.

Oh, and Trump was able to remember the name of 7 patriots not named Tom Brady and a vague fact about each. Good job from our mondo-retard president

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



Codependent Poster posted:

How many of these guys are white?

A.... healthy ratio

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



Bad Moon posted:

This except Gronk

Gronk would make a very good president.

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



For example, take this picture of John Holmes' erect cock. Now compare it to this picture of mine, clearly flaccid. As you can tell, a massive difference is length, girth and raw power, much like Tom Brady's throwing arm compared to baby arm Peyton Manning, but I digress. Holmes' is clearly shown in a better light, while mine, shriveled to look like a ferret hiding in a bean bag chair is impressive only to the women I text it at. If shown in a better light would mine match Holmes? yes of course, but that's neither here nor there, for the act of showing you the photos demonstrates the weakness of Trump compared to the virile power of Barack 'the Islamic Shock' Obama. Thank you.

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



DariusLikewise posted:

Rams claimed some guy named Tre Jackson off waivers from the Patriots yesterday

He was an acceptable starter as a rookie, and is absolutely gigantic, but he got injured and outplayed by another 4th round pick, and lost his job.

Per Mockdraftable, he's huge but has poor (for NFL players) athleticism:

https://www.mockdraftable.com/player/tre-jackson

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



Hell, same.

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



Eh, this is a bad look for Brady. He was effectively paid for charity appearances, which he donated to other charities... but like his kids' private school and the church he got married at, that's a bad look.

Though nobody has ever given a poo poo about how sleezy NFL player charities are, and if nothing was raised over Adrian Peterson spending his charity money on orgies, I doubt anything's happening here.

Here's the OTL investigation from 4 years ago: http://www.espn.com/espn/otl/story/_/id/9109024/top-athletes-charities-often-measure-charity-experts-say-efficient-effective-use-money

And the one about the Dallas Cowboys // Troy Aikman stuff appears to have disappeared off the internet aside from the deadspin article about an article:

http://deadspin.com/5734895/report-many-dallas-athletes-run-shoddy-charities

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



sean10mm posted:

Makes sense.

The Jimmy G saga confuses me more than anything. Is it just the Pats jacking up the price in the hopes someone is a super turbo moron and gives them everything at the last second? Or are they finally scared of Brady's age, and think that Jimmy G is the answer maybe, even though he had 1.5 good games and then snapped like a dry twig?

I'm cool with the Pats keeping Butler this season and then doing whatever in 2018 though.

Jimmy G seems more like the market quickly emptying except for the Browns and a bunch of writers hyperventilating about the Browns bidding against themselves, which they aren't doing.

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



Blood in, blood out

https://twitter.com/TAGlobe/status/856576127636320259

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



Was it here or a twitter conversation where someone pointed out that Warren Sapp failed it for weed and cocaine at the combine.

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



It sucks for everyone who got laid off, but man, gently caress Dilfer, good riddance.

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



There's so many great human beings in the crowd of that video.

Also, au revoir Trent

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YxrRm_VI5Bs

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



Now what if we combine this app with one of the earlier apps results...

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



In case you were wondering if Roger Goodell still sucked:

https://twitter.com/MichaelDavSmith/status/857945855541862400

He still sucks.

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



I mean, i know it'll never happen but I want to watch a 280lb guy try and run WR routes for an entire game.

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



weird Asian candy posted:

Trade him to Seattle to pair him up with Lacy imo.

Imagine this butterball trying to sprint back to the line in a 2 minute drill.

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



Eli Wiggum posted:

Casserly is such a dumbfuck

Having him and Lombardi in the media really helps tank your opinion of what GM's actually are capable of doing.

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



sirtommygunn posted:

Eric Decker is a good receiver and Quincy Enunwa is decent.

Yeah, if we're listing dire situations on the Jets, I don't think WR cracks the top 10.

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



John Fox should just quit now:

https://twitter.com/danwiederer/status/858483583396261888

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Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



14 straight minutes of Hail Mary's

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RyH46dCN7Sc

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