|
We're back! On the tail of the extremely successful (unless you are a drag link) Trans Mountain to Tide Water Rally 2016, event organizers decided that not only having a lovely car wasn't enough, they also had to have a lovely event organizer. That's me. Previously on Trans Mountain to Tide Water We drove from south-central Alberta to British Columbia, and stayed in a variety of campsites and hotels. Team Cool Ranch had a little fire when their non-tied-down battery made a break for it in the middle of a steep truckers-gear-down downhill section. Team Hellica failed in rush hour Kelowna traffic when their fuel filter clogged, necessitating a parking-lot fuel filter swap while we tried to avoid the Corn Barn Mafia. Team Sweet Chili Heat's drag link bent while going through Highway 99, causing a loss of control. NASA scientists now believe the drag link failure was not linked to the use of 60-millimeter-wide wheel spacers, but instead cosmic rays. For its crimes, the Hellica was condemned to respectable daily driver duty, where it is currently a very nice car. This is not at all because we couldn't get rid of it for what we put into it. Who?
What? It's a Shitbox™® road rally where vehicles cannot cost more than $1000 CAD and also if it's like anything like last year you win by default by neither hitting a public works project nor spending nearly five grand on your car. When? June 2-5, 2017 is the provisional date. Where? Our current plan is to drive up the infamous Forestry Trunk Road. Why? In your heart, you already know why. The Rules
Scoring Points are awarded arbitrarily by group consensus. Things that may gain you points: deliberate fire. Things that may lose you points: accidental fire. Automatic victory is gained by choosing an Italian car, or an Eastern European car that you can convince me is "Italian enough" to qualify. Winning this event is the first step to fixing the rest of your life. You can do this. Everything is hinging on this trip. Seat Safety Switch fucked around with this message at 16:51 on Apr 11, 2017 |
#
¿
Apr 10, 2017 04:38
|
|
|
|
| # ¿ Apr 28, 2024 21:45 |
|
|
Here's what we're running! No, not like that! The tires are all bald! Who has better tires?   Yes! It's a 1988 Town Car that we bodged a Taurus alternator into after the stock wiring harness caught fire and it sat in a field for 15 years before making its way to us for free from a friend-of-a-friend network. It rides on massive General Grabber AT2s with Ranger wheels and is the most comfortable truck I've ever owned. The transmission may be one posi burnout away from letting go entirely. Currently it is missing one of the front windows and has been that way for over a year. The interior is sort of gross.
|
|
#
¿
Apr 10, 2017 04:38
|
|
|
scuz posted:Wow, that town car. It rubs a bit on the fender liner when you do donuts.  Since the alternator harness is ziptied to the passenger side fender well we should probably figure out a solution. I wonder if the caster is adjustable.
|
|
#
¿
Apr 10, 2017 17:22
|
|
|
scuz posted:Garden clippers, an empty gallon milk jug, and some hot glue will probably get you some clearance there. Or just wait for the tires to clearance themselves. Man, that's a cool look. I like how it gives the "hella flush" fender-filling look while also gaining half an inch of ride height and not completely trashing the geometry. It sounds like the caster is adjustable though, maybe I can just pull the wheels forward a bit and get a better alignment for all the track use this thing is sure to see.
|
|
#
¿
Apr 10, 2017 17:29
|
|
|
We have decided that June 2-5 is the most probable date for the event, but it is not set in stone. Let me know if you are planning on coming and cannot do June 2-5.
|
|
#
¿
Apr 11, 2017 16:51
|
|
|
Powershift posted:I love that lincoln. Those tires look so beefy on there even though they're the exact same size as the M+S tires on my lincoln. Where the hell do I get a cell booster? Do you have a spare one?
|
|
#
¿
Apr 11, 2017 18:07
|
|
|
Liquid Communism posted:I'm switching compaines on 1 May, so there's no way I can swing a week off that quick. I'll just have to settle for cheering via internet. It's a religious obligation.
|
|
#
¿
Apr 13, 2017 13:29
|
|
|
Which junkyard lets you remove a car? I want to go to there. Also a Fox body has like eight wires. You can skip seven of them if you don't want a stereo. Someone better bring not a Ford because otherwise I bet we're going to potato famine the entire population from some common EEC fault.
|
|
#
¿
Apr 16, 2017 23:50
|
|
|
Part of what we did on the Town Car was convert the alternator from a classic "2G" Ford alternator (as seen on every 80s-ish Ford car and some trucks) which has two problems:
To solve this problem, the PO replaced the alternator with a shiny rebuilt unit which did nothing to solve his problems. Then it sat in his yard for years until he hit a rock with his lawnmower and smashed the side window, at which point he gave up. As mentioned in the original post of this thread, we pulled a 130A alternator out of an OHV Taurus/Sable and paired it with a wiring harness out of a 1997ish F150 in order to get its delightful 175A maxifuse. Here's a little more detail on how we did it. The important part is this modification to the alternator, which allowed it to swing enough on the Town Car's stock alternator bracket to achieve the appropriate tension for the serpentine belt:  Slung achieved this cut freehand with a portable bandsaw, because you needed an excuse to buy one. After that we just did some minor splicing to get the on/off control wire from the dashboard into the maxifuse harness:  Everything just bolts together after that and looks fairly correct.  While it still needs some hardcore testing, the long and the short of it is that this car again has the ability to charge its battery and is hopefully slightly less flammable  .Today, we also installed RockAuto wiper blades and high beams, only to find out that our existing high beams were just fine. The jury is still out on whether there is some problem with the car/headlight switch or if we just don't know how to engage high beams on this car. Considering it has light-sensor-based automatic high beams using a very complicated series of switches on the rear-view mirror, it might just be that we are too primitive to operate such a slice of the future. Seat Safety Switch fucked around with this message at 23:59 on Apr 20, 2017 |
|
#
¿
Apr 17, 2017 05:20
|
|
|
It was probably a 2G then. That said, it's the same one as off a bricknose (albeit clocked differently) since that was our first thought for swap bait. The Lincoln forums are pretty adamant that this thing catches fire a lot, but I feel like that is just an "all Fords thing."
|
|
#
¿
Apr 17, 2017 05:58
|
|
|
Slung Blade posted:Man, I dunno. Field rescue usually means massive frame rot. It might accordian a bitch the first time someone takes it over a speed bump. Didn't we just field rescue a loving Lincoln?
|
|
#
¿
Apr 18, 2017 16:51
|
|
|
Worth fixing, but I'd bring a junkyard EF Civic seat or a very thick blanket with me to the purchase...
|
|
#
¿
Apr 18, 2017 18:58
|
|
|
ExecuDork posted:Probably yes. This is pretty far off-topic for this thread, but I would actually be interested in having a look at your wetland sometime. It seems I have a professional reason to attend the next ABAI gathering. Isn't this the slough that we just
|
|
#
¿
Apr 18, 2017 23:17
|
|
|
Shrugs Not Drugs posted:A line lock is a safety item right? Cause I mean if we took it out we'd have no brakes I'll allow it.
|
|
#
¿
Apr 19, 2017 16:54
|
|
|
Powershift posted:I'm pretty sure the black plague started when some guy bought an el camino that has been sitting for 25 years without a drivers side window and then drove it for 4 days. So it'll be marginally worse than the Town Car.
|
|
#
¿
Apr 21, 2017 18:23
|
|
|
slidebite posted:95% chance this is an irredeemable wreck I've thought about that Mira every day since it was posted. Might be a good engine swap for a Justy.
|
|
#
¿
Apr 22, 2017 16:33
|
|
|
Well, the Town Car runs well enough to take it into town to book it at the glass shop. There's no way I'm replacing the passenger side window after the rear end-pain that was getting a junkyard one out. It is hilarious to drive, it wants to roll basically whenever you go near the throttle or the steering wheel. Holy poo poo is this thing ever slow. Think the headlight switch is blown and that's why the interior lights are never turning off. Still no FM radio either. Seat Safety Switch fucked around with this message at 13:39 on Apr 25, 2017 |
|
#
¿
Apr 25, 2017 13:36
|
|
|
It has a radio, but it doesn't work on FM. It works on AM, it works on tape, the antenna comes out and goes in. The antenna switch doesn't seem to do anything, and when you put it into FM radio mode it will just seek forever without finding a station. Manually tuning just brings static. I feel like there must be a dedicated antenna for "just FM" and the connector/wiring for it is broken off or something?
|
|
#
¿
Apr 25, 2017 15:48
|
|
|
I think the interior-lights-always-on problem is that the headlight multiswitch is in fact broken so it will continue to eat the battery at all times. Rotating the dimmer switch makes the dashboard message centre change brightness (with brutal flicker which tells me there's something wrong internally, possibly a spotty ground) but moving it off of the clicky "always-on" position doesn't turn off the door lock lights or the interior puddle lights. Putting the low beams on still makes the "door is ajar" ding go, even though the message centre only tells me the door is open when the door is actually open. I think there are two door-open sensors, or something else is going on in the BCM/ding module that controls the dome lights and dinger separately from the message centre. For those of you following along at home, this is why I own stripper package cars that have no loving options. Cruise control works, and it's repeatable, which is a step up from the Celica. Also, I think the high beams don't work because the radar high beam module has failed internally or something and won't even let me control the high beams manually anymore because the hi/lo relay is ground-switched through the high beam module. In the end, all's well that ends well: 
Seat Safety Switch fucked around with this message at 16:13 on Apr 26, 2017 |
|
#
¿
Apr 26, 2017 16:10
|
|
|
It made 180 horsepower from 5 litres when new. My Subaru 4-banger beater made 165 from 2.5L. It is a remarkably underpowered car. Slung put the hurt on it from a roll with his stock Accent. It'll tow though. And do burnouts. The dead space in front of the engine is entirely taken up by oversized accessories, very thick radiator, over two feet of cowling that is supported by various kinds of (often broken) bracing and a leaking water pump. Seat Safety Switch fucked around with this message at 17:54 on Apr 29, 2017 |
|
#
¿
Apr 29, 2017 17:52
|
|
|
Now you need a bank of switches for MAIN, FUEL, ENGINE, NITROUS PURGE.
|
|
#
¿
May 9, 2017 13:54
|
|
|
The Town Car has just gotten back from its interior detail. He gave us five passes of shampoo (a record) and presumably some kind of discount for the sheer challenge involved. The seats are so clean now you can see where the fabric is getting a little sheer/threadbare. However, it appears the air conditioning does not work. Upon further inspection, there is a very old thermal-paper parking receipt that has been pushed inside the vents. Good car. Good car. Seat Safety Switch fucked around with this message at 04:06 on May 10, 2017 |
|
#
¿
May 10, 2017 04:03
|
|
|
It absolutely does.
|
|
#
¿
May 17, 2017 15:26
|
|
|
We did it, you guys. http://globalnews.ca/news/3462901/2017-pemberton-music-festival-cancelled-no-automatic-ticket-refunds/
|
|
#
¿
May 19, 2017 02:15
|
|
|
I have a set of Motomaster SE2 all seasons on the Civic and I'm pretty sure I was better off with the bald mismatched 15-20 year old Hankooks. Fantastic work otherwise.
|
|
#
¿
May 29, 2017 04:23
|
|
|
We did in fact survive. I came in today, quit my job, and now I'm posting pictures of our trip. The Town Car is the perfect car for camping. Look at how much room we had in the trunk:  Slung and I left from Airdrie after getting groceries here. This car is not easy to drive in tight parking lots.  Eventually we arrived in Nordegg and met up with the Dustang.  After a blast up the FTR where we dodged deer and sheep, we arrived at the Pepper Lake campgrounds. Here's a picture of our fender lip.  And the Dustang.  After an incredibly cold night, we prepared the next morning to break camp. The Dustang needed to be cleaned.  We ingested relatively less beer ourselves, though I'm pretty sure at least some of our empties were in the previous shot.  At last, Pepper Lake. Warm, and the trout were biting.   Shrugs and Co mentioned that they saw a gravel pit on the way in, and demanded to do sick donuts. I complied as best the Town Car could, but it didn't like doing it. The Dustang, on the other hand, was born for this.  We left the FTR for civilization. At Rocky, we stopped for Burger Baron.  We drove to Gull Lake. Both Slung and I were near passing out while driving so we decided to camp early. Proof that we ate some vegetables during the trip:  The next morning, the Dustang and the Town Car went their separate ways. We ended up at the Reynolds Museum. For whatever reason, the Town Car only got dusty on the wheels and tires (as well as everything in the trunk). This dust is still there, too.   So we went to the Reynolds Museum. It's pretty awesome. This traction engine has wicked sick wheels:  This (registered, driven) Country Squire has a little secret:    We also got to get driven around by the coolest curator I've ever hung out with and her four-door Bel-Air Tradesman with a three on the tree. All good things must come to an end, and so we went home, stopping in Red Deer:  I am still sort of amazed how many cars we were able to pass on Highway 2. This thing is a dog performance-wise and will just not let you get much above 120 indicated before it starts to get the bowel shakes. Finally, we arrived at the Ranch:  Here is the final condition of our fender lip after getting clobbered in every parking lot in the province:  I really loved this trip, and I think the car was phenomenal for what we put into it. Now begins the tough task of trying to find someone who will take the car off my hands and elevate it to the level of greatness that it deserves.
|
|
#
¿
Jun 6, 2017 17:34
|
|
|
Fo3 posted:Cool road trip, camping and fun. I've alredy fallen in love with the lincoln. That dash! It's like little digital photo frames of the present. That bumper! perfect for a roadside bar. On the way up we were following a boat trailer that threw a wheel bearing at us when the left hub exploded. The bumper got nailed by a chunk of bearing race which chipped the chrome, and then the windshield took a ball bearing directly in my line of sight. It's a tough little bastard of a car, the trans is a little lackadaisical but I'm sure if someone actually took it off my hands they could adjust the valve body preloads (or whatever, automatic transmissions are voodoo) to make it shift more like a Mustang or a Vic. We've listed it as-is with the mud terrains, but if it doesn't sell like that (it probably won't) I will probably put the old lovely stock wheels/tires back on it and list it for much less as a teenager's first car or something. I will be daily driving it next week. If the A/C worked I'd probably keep it... Seat Safety Switch fucked around with this message at 19:44 on Jun 7, 2017 |
|
#
¿
Jun 7, 2017 19:42
|
|
|
1500quidporsche posted:What's the tow capacity of that bad boy? Ford says 5000 lb. I can throw a U-Haul hitch (Class 2 and Class 4 available; 3500 lb recommended, 6000 lb "distributed") on this thing with a few weeks' notice and a few hours on Slung's lift. Probably could do with a trans cooler, fluid change and fresh tires in the stock size if you wanted it to be absolutely rock solid. Seat Safety Switch fucked around with this message at 20:56 on Jun 7, 2017 |
|
#
¿
Jun 7, 2017 20:53
|
|
|
Nobody is interested in buying this car for some reason, so I've been daily driving it. It makes the new ones look tiny.
|
|
#
¿
Jun 14, 2017 23:19
|
|
|
We ripped a hole in the front tires because it turns out the jagged shards of fender lip in the front fenders were too much for Grabber sidewalls. Turns out we had some spare front wheels and tires lying around due to another moribund American car, and some dark presence is smiling upon this vehicle because they fit like they were made for it.  What did we do about the rubbing, you ask? Well, we rolled the fender. But we didn't use a fender roller... because those cost money. 
|
|
#
¿
Aug 22, 2017 05:55
|
|
|
|
| # ¿ Apr 28, 2024 21:45 |
|
|
We probably could. Scuttlebutt is that this thing will tow 5000 lb with the right hitch. In practice I suspect the transmission would take a poo poo.
|
|
#
¿
Aug 23, 2017 17:45
|
|