- deep dish peat moss
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Find Out Why My Feet Are Dirty a thread where I post pictures of my feet and people speculate on why they're dirty
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Sep 24, 2017 04:05
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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May 14, 2024 18:47
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- deep dish peat moss
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Dr. Seuss uncensored
Sam-I-am: I am Sam. Sam-I-am
Kid: That Sam-I-am! That Sam-I-am! I do not like that Sam-I-am!
Sam-I-am: Do you like green eggs and ham?
Kid: I do not like them, Sam-I-am. I do not like green eggs and ham.
Sam-I-am: Would you like them here or there?
Kid: I would not like them here or there. I would not like them anywhere. I do
not like green eggs and ham. I do not like them Sam-I-am. Goddamn.
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Sep 28, 2017 03:56
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- deep dish peat moss
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People posting on a Tumblr-like website about perceived microaggressions that are actually very severe, during the reign of evil alien overlords.
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Oct 7, 2017 01:18
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- deep dish peat moss
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Can't even go to the drat grocery store anymore without the xenoarchy shoving its giant plastic tubes down my throat to scan me
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Oct 7, 2017 01:19
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- deep dish peat moss
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A Game Show in Hell run by the Devil called "Wheel of Torture". It's hosted by Pat Sajak and Vanna White who treat it exactly like an everyday mundane episode of Wheel of Fortune, even the set is the same and they're spinning the same big wheel, but the prize is getting tortured.
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Oct 9, 2017 06:37
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- deep dish peat moss
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vaguely recalling the movie Stay Tuned
I'm going to have to watch this, lately I've been obsessed with the idea of Hell portrayed as a late 70s/early 80s gameshow or soap opera, with hazy lighting and that sort of vaseline fog over everything so that shiny things turn into bright little stars, like everything is superficially shiny on the surface which hides the dirt and filth beneath. And all the people, despite whatever subtly terrifying things are happening just barely off-screen or in the background, are dry and mundane and have no personalities beyond focusing on the show, like they're all scripted. When you finally finish the show and step backstage and go through the dressing room door, you find yourself instead walking onto the stage of another gameshow and starting all over again.
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Oct 10, 2017 23:17
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- deep dish peat moss
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What if His Name Was Harold
A Docu-thread series that would explore how the world would have changed if various famous people had been named Harold
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Oct 19, 2017 19:25
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- deep dish peat moss
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A bunch of sad dogs walking at you in unison, but in slow-mo, and it says "whimper is coming"
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Nov 11, 2017 07:44
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- deep dish peat moss
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A viking comedian named Jerry Steinfilled
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Nov 13, 2017 01:17
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- deep dish peat moss
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You know those restaurants that treat you like poo poo as a gimmick? What about if other types of places did that.
Magician pulling out the wrong card: "what do you mean this isn't it? Look it's not my fault you got the memory of a gold fish. Get off my stage. For my next trick I'll need a volunteer to saw in half. No not you, you're too fat, I'll never get through you in one day. "
Car salesman: "look Buddy I'm going to be honest. You're balding, your pudgy, and you smell like the inside of a jock strap. This mustang is your last chance at getting laid. "
I've always joked about starting the Ed Debevic's of Tech Support where old people would call in for help with computer problems and we would make fun of how little they know while helping them
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Jan 9, 2018 16:32
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- deep dish peat moss
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a moment of hesitation before pulling your arm back inside the train because you just realized a quip about a "disarming smile" would be the perfect icebreaker for that cutie across the aisle
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Mar 9, 2019 19:14
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- deep dish peat moss
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Feeling awkward because you said you were going to order a pizza, and your friend said "Make it a Hot Hawaiian" , and you said "I don't need a Hot Hawaiian I already have a copy of Moana on DVD" before you realized what you were saying
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Jul 28, 2019 00:57
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- deep dish peat moss
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The opposite of Excel is incel
hard to export into Sheets
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Jan 23, 2020 10:18
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- deep dish peat moss
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PAUL BLART 3 MALL COPS ARE BASTARDS
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Jan 23, 2020 10:22
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- deep dish peat moss
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gordon ramses telling a group of slaves their pyramid is poo poo
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Jan 23, 2020 10:24
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- deep dish peat moss
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What if a blind person found out about the Men in Black?
so what, they can't prove anything, they didn't see poo poo.
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Feb 22, 2020 04:43
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- deep dish peat moss
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a superhero named druggernaut and he looks like juggernaut but his helmet is a mushroom cap
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Feb 23, 2020 05:17
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- deep dish peat moss
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A bizarre hellscape version of post-quarantine Price is Right where the audience is gone and each contestant stands 35 feet apart and they are guessing the current price of things like tp and hand sanitizer
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Mar 16, 2020 06:21
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- deep dish peat moss
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Giancarlo's car coasts to a halt beside the track, the TV crew rush to the barrier to interview him as he walks back to the pits.
"Giancarlo, bad luck, can you tell us what happened? Was it a transmission fault? Or did you lose the clutch?"
"No, no, no problem with radio transmission. I tell the engineers over radio, I have no power to the wheels. I do, ah, do not have a clutch, haha, my girlfriend bought a clutch yesterday. Prada, I think. Very pretty!"
*confused* "haha, that's a funny anecdote, but can you tell us about the car? It sounded like you had a box full of neutrals."
"scusi? Box full of neutrals?"
"neutrals, in the gearbox..."
"oh yes, gearbox. Yes borderlands 2 was, ah, very good, very positive. But borderlands 3, yes kind of, neutral you know? DLC was good but base game, yes very neutral."
lol
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Jun 4, 2020 03:10
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- deep dish peat moss
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an aspiring racecar driver who is about to start their first big race, and is just now noticing that it's not a mario kart tournament
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Jun 4, 2020 03:10
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- deep dish peat moss
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race commissioner, looking at the `Favorite Racer?` question on the driver's race application form: "oh, they meant that Mario"
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Jun 4, 2020 03:11
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- deep dish peat moss
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a gregorian chant. "Baaaaaaaad-geeeeeer. Baaaaaaaaad-geeeer. Baaaaad-geeer."
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Jul 15, 2020 03:29
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- deep dish peat moss
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Anyone ever notice that Jack in the Box has a rewards program? One free curly fry in each bag. Buy enough and you got a free large curly fry!
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Jul 16, 2020 05:38
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- deep dish peat moss
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Trying my hand at writing analog jokes
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Aug 10, 2020 00:08
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- deep dish peat moss
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Toddlers logging in to Zoom for virtual preschool
(A little girl sits there, red-faced and mouth open, then she falls off her chair and can be seen lying on the floor flailing in the background.)
Teacher: Jamie, you're muted.
Jamie: (climbing back into her chair) Oh, sorry. WAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH
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Aug 23, 2020 12:49
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- deep dish peat moss
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Getting the procedure from Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind to make me forget about pizza, because lactose intolerance is no good for us
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Aug 25, 2020 13:17
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- deep dish peat moss
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modernizing movies
"the king's peach" - a foreign expert takes on the difficult task of educating the king about correct text message etiquette, informing him that the peach emoji is colloquially used as innuendo
Titus Andronicus but it's ancient romans in modern cities
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Aug 29, 2020 03:31
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- deep dish peat moss
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A foreign language teacher who's actually a wizard teaching students words of power to perform arcane rituals, but no one has realized it yet
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Sep 26, 2020 14:04
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- deep dish peat moss
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since there arent any dead peeps posting on hte web, we can conclude that heaven doesnt get internet connection, whch sucks
They only have dao-up connections
deep dish peat moss fucked around with this message at 02:07 on Dec 8, 2020
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Dec 8, 2020 02:05
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- deep dish peat moss
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A man suing McDonalds because his name is Mick Donald and for his entirely life McDonalds has taken possession of everything he has owned because every time someone says something is "Mick Donald's" everyone assumes they mean the restaurant
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Jan 18, 2021 01:04
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- deep dish peat moss
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My name is Jonathan Bonathan Jovi but I go by Jon Jovi to make sure no one confuses me with the rocker.
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Feb 1, 2021 03:48
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- deep dish peat moss
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why did the old black lady tell neo he'd be "white as rain"?
in The Matrix universe due to the machines' early experiments with energy pods full of cows, all the rain is milk
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Feb 15, 2021 06:22
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- deep dish peat moss
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Following a string of deadly crashes, NASCAR invests in self-driving car technology
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Feb 16, 2021 03:43
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- deep dish peat moss
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Wrapping hotdog meat around an ear of corn
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4VosRKPBGE8
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Feb 17, 2021 06:44
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- deep dish peat moss
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Recruiting for my brand new Traditional Scottish Gaming Clan
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Feb 18, 2021 23:09
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- deep dish peat moss
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An ice cream stand named Mobile Scoop Tundra
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Apr 3, 2021 23:54
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- deep dish peat moss
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guy with small penis
"my penis isn't small it just moves too fast for you to see."
It's actually so big that the part you're seeing is really far away
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Apr 11, 2021 01:32
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- deep dish peat moss
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A Fantasy world where they worship gods with names like Paul, Todd, and Jennine
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Apr 13, 2021 07:11
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- deep dish peat moss
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a rap song that begins with
I can fall asleep for a week
Some think that's a problem but I think it's pretty sweet
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May 1, 2021 09:01
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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May 14, 2024 18:47
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- deep dish peat moss
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my earliest memories of kid icarus come from my grandmother, at her house in the country, when I was 9 years old. I came from a big family, and playing video games were an important ritual that helped keep us connected, both to ourselves and to our past. playing video games during the holidays were quiet the production, with almost every member of the family shuffling around the den, eager to contribute to the days festivities. but kid icarus was something that only grandma and I played, and playing it together felt like sharing a secret with your best friend.
the walkthrough below is based on the strategy that my grandmother perfected over years of playing kid icarus—a strategy that she kept tinkering with, in true grandma fashion, until she passed away in 2006. but to really understand the walkthrough, and why she cultivated it so diligently, we have to go back to Prussia in 1902, when her mother—my great grandmother—was just starting to dream of a new life in America while making handmade video games at local market in konigsburg.
young people today may find this hard to believe, but in the days before raytracing and subsecond load screens, every piece of the video game was made by hand. it was hard work, but to those old world artisans the craftsmanship was its own reward. I often think about my great grandmother, meticulously placing one pixel next to another, and wonder what she would have thought of me and grandma casually entering passwords that we had looked up in Nintendo power, instead of earning them hard way. would she have been angry, or would she have instinctively understood the bond that we were sharing as we traded the controller back and forth and traded inside jokes about how the snakes looked cross-eyed?
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May 4, 2021 14:08
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Sep 24, 2017 04:05
