Jokes that are good but you can't be bothered to develop a thread for

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Robot Made of Meat

I'm a bit leery of these "Guided Meditation" tapes I've heard about. Sometimes you need to do it at your own speed.

Thanks to Manifisto for the sig!

# ¿ Dec 17, 2020 03:47

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# ¿ May 12, 2024 11:02

Robot Made of Meat

google THIS posted:

It's basically the worst pyramid scheme ever

It's a Tontine.

Thanks to Manifisto for the sig!

# ¿ Jan 16, 2021 01:59

Robot Made of Meat

Dip Viscous posted:

i want to install big googly eyes on my toilet tank and make it so that the water coming into the tank flows through the eyes so every time you flush the pupils spin around wildly

Excuse me, but this thread is for jokes.

Thanks to Manifisto for the sig!

# ¿ Feb 11, 2021 01:40

Robot Made of Meat

ChubbyChecker posted:

BALLS

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# ¿ Feb 24, 2021 01:32

Robot Made of Meat

FactsAreUseless posted:

An optimistic but ill-considered public service campaign with the slogan "I Believe In Mental Health."

In the 1970s, there was a very ill-considered public service campaign with the slogan (and theme song), "VD is for everybody (not just for a few)."

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# ¿ Jul 1, 2021 04:50

Robot Made of Meat

Moderately Silassie.

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# ¿ Sep 13, 2021 02:20

Robot Made of Meat

Jestery posted:

Getting a divorce for reconcilable differences but you are both just lazy

Getting a divorce for irreconcilable similarities.

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# ¿ Jan 5, 2022 02:35

Robot Made of Meat

WithoutTheFezOn posted:

They did not seem to spread their civilization much. Current knowledge speculates this is probably because when they travelled more than a short distance, they would be teleported back to their starting point and merely pass the same stretch of land repeatedly.

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# ¿ Jan 16, 2022 00:24

Robot Made of Meat

Yinlock posted:

one of those post-apocalyptic towns with a dark secret where everything is perfect and everyone is super friendly but speak solely in sinister double-entendres, except there's actually nothing sinister at all going on and they're just left alone because they weird people out

This seems to be how everyone else views BYOB.

Thanks to Manifisto for the sig!

# ¿ Feb 13, 2022 03:07

Robot Made of Meat

google THIS posted:

Thinking about how the word "barbarian" originated as a derogatory term for foreigners who spoke a different language, and at the time "bar bar" was the typical onomatopoeia for speaking gibberish.

So if the term were invented today it would probably be something like "blahblahian." Maybe even "hurfdurfian?"

It's-all-Greek-to-me-arian is a bit ungainly, TBH.

Thanks to Manifisto for the sig!

# ¿ Mar 7, 2022 00:39

Robot Made of Meat

Prurient Squid posted:

A trading card game but there's a trading card of just everyone.

Collect all 7 billion!

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# ¿ Mar 12, 2022 20:04

Robot Made of Meat

OK, I posted this about a thousand pages ago. I got pretty much no response. I'm wondering if anybody "got it."

The Lucyderata

Robot Made of Meat fucked around with this message at 01:45 on Mar 28, 2022

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# ¿ Mar 27, 2022 01:21

Robot Made of Meat

Barking Gecko posted:

The desirable outcome would be that someone got it.

I love you.

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# ¿ Mar 28, 2022 01:36

Robot Made of Meat

gleebster posted:

"Ricky, I wanna be in the poem! Waaaaah!"

You too.

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# ¿ Mar 28, 2022 01:36

Robot Made of Meat

Karate Bastard posted:

I did not get the lucyderada joke, but would probably giggle at an explanation

There is a poem called Desiderata. It can be found online in many places. It's very nice and full of nice ideas.

Desi brings to my mind Desi Arnaz, the once husband of Lucille Ball. They were actors and producers in movies and TV (there's a recent documentary of their lives together).

So . . . DESIderata / LUCYderata. It's . . . funny?

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# ¿ Mar 28, 2022 01:40

Robot Made of Meat

Here's a joke that I wrote for Victor Borge some years ago. OK, I never sent it to him, and he was probably dead by the time I wrote it, but that doesn't detract from its funnyosity.

"I'm not a grand piano, but I do play one on TV!"

(sadly, you have to be old to get this one)

Thanks to Manifisto for the sig!

# ¿ Apr 28, 2022 03:06

Robot Made of Meat

Karate Bastard posted:

Who is this maniac, on the floor, and can somebody stop her??? What is she doing

I'd think that, if she'd never danced before, she wouldn't be very good at it. This might explain the confusion as to what she's doing.

Thanks to Manifisto for the sig!

# ¿ May 28, 2022 00:33

Robot Made of Meat

Twenty Four posted:

Thinking about asking people mundane questions about their personal preferences then telling them they are wrong.

"What's your favorite color?"

"Yellow"

"Wrong! It's blue."

"It's yellow."

"Nope, wrong. It's blue."

Rorschach tests where it's a photograph of something mundane.

"What do you see in this image?"

"It's a sofa."

"Hmmm. your interpretation of this image leads me to believe that you are a sociopath."

"No, it's literally a picture of a sofa. It's from an Ikea catalog. It says 'Sofa' down in the corner."

"I'm afraid we're going to have to commit you for your own safety and the safety of the community."

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# ¿ Jun 7, 2022 02:35

Robot Made of Meat

In other news, the city council of Davenport, IA has unanimously decided to change the name of their community to "Sofa."

They felt that "Davenport" seemed a bit stuffy. "We feel that this name change will reflect our desire to welcome a younger populace with open arms," said a statement from the mayor's office.

Robot Made of Meat fucked around with this message at 02:44 on Jun 7, 2022

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# ¿ Jun 7, 2022 02:40

Robot Made of Meat

Twenty Four posted:

Kenobi: "If you strike me down, I will become more powerful then you can possibly imagine."

Vader: "Okay..." *Walks away*

Kenobi: "...gently caress!"

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# ¿ Jun 12, 2022 14:29

Robot Made of Meat

Building a really fancy deck on your house so you can refer to it as, "Deck � la Taj."

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# ¿ Jun 13, 2022 00:06

Robot Made of Meat

Sherlock Holmes, but just an ordinary guy in a wold full of people who can't figure anything out at all.

"I deduce that this man was killed just after breakfast."

"Amazing, Holmes! What clued you in?"

"Well, there are eggs and bacon on his plate -- and running down his chin. Also, this is a pretty busy restaurant at this time of day, so there were quite a few witnesses."

"How DO you do it?"

Thanks to Manifisto for the sig!

# ¿ Aug 3, 2022 02:27

Robot Made of Meat

"Lestrade, of Scotland Yard, believes that the victim was drowned last evening in the Thames. I, however, am quite certain that he was shot through the head right here in the drawing room."

"Remarkable!

Thanks to Manifisto for the sig!

# ¿ Aug 3, 2022 02:34

Robot Made of Meat

Karate Bastard posted:

She's a maniac, maaaaniac, on the floor,

and she's twerking like she's never twerked before,

was my thought just as I was realizing that the original song lyrics never really make a clear statement as to exactly what floor this is referring to. Is it the stock exchange? And why does being "on a floor" have significance? Is it the ocean floor? I feel being "on the floor" should be a common enough experience for most people that it perhaps shouldn't need specific mention?

I would also think that someone who'd never danced before wouldn't be likely to be very good, so an insane woman who is (rather sensibly) on the floor dancing poorly seems like an odd subject for a song.

Thanks to Manifisto for the sig!

# ¿ Oct 13, 2022 19:08

Robot Made of Meat

Karate Bastard posted:

People should be more like dogs. For example, they should wiggle their butt when they're happy.

Wait . . . you don't?

Thanks to Manifisto for the sig!

# ¿ Apr 16, 2023 23:57

Robot Made of Meat

google THIS posted:

Let's see, I've got my glasses, got my watch, brought my wallet...OH poo poo

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# ¿ Jun 2, 2023 03:09

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# ¿ May 12, 2024 11:02

Robot Made of Meat

canyoneer posted:

i love that joke and the punchline i use is "yeah, we had money left over so we're going out for ice cream"

I love that joke and the punchline I use is, "Yeah, and we had so much fun we went to see a movie afterward."

Thanks to Manifisto for the sig!

# ¿ Jun 13, 2023 01:08

The Something Awful Forums > Main > BYOB: BYOB BYOB BOYB BBOY YOBB YBOB BBYO?? > Jokes that are good but you can't be bothered to develop a thread for

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