Jokes that are good but you can't be bothered to develop a thread for

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Drink-Mix Man: You are an odd fellow, but I must say... you throw a swell shindig.

Elderly Jerry Seinfeld with dementia:

"Who ARE these people?"

(He doesn't remember)

# ¿ Nov 22, 2017 00:09

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# ¿ May 2, 2024 17:46

Drink-Mix Man: You are an odd fellow, but I must say... you throw a swell shindig.

The ad wizards who came up with that one were John Purcell and Valerie Williams of Omnicom Media Group, NYC.

# ¿ Nov 26, 2017 04:33

Drink-Mix Man: You are an odd fellow, but I must say... you throw a swell shindig.

A future where all females have extremely curvaceous behinds: Badonkadonkpunk.

# ¿ Nov 27, 2017 07:54

Drink-Mix Man: You are an odd fellow, but I must say... you throw a swell shindig.

brewswillist posted:

Jizzpunk

Not to be confused with Spunkpunk

# ¿ Nov 27, 2017 07:55

Drink-Mix Man: You are an odd fellow, but I must say... you throw a swell shindig.

Koishi Komeiji posted:

Stone punk: Sometimes called "Flintstones film noir" like they have the Internet but it's just a bunch of cups on strings and the corrupt DA frames a guy for a sling-shotting he didn't commit.

# ¿ Nov 28, 2017 06:33

Drink-Mix Man: You are an odd fellow, but I must say... you throw a swell shindig.

cda posted:

Italian bread

eyy, I'm bakin' here

# ¿ Dec 14, 2017 18:03

Drink-Mix Man: You are an odd fellow, but I must say... you throw a swell shindig.

An old shack off a coastal highway has an old marquee sign on the front: "Live Maine Lobsters." You pull over, mouth watering for some authentic eats.

Inside is a smoky burlesque parlor. A gigantic, dead-eyed crustacean picks up pieces of shell, tassels, and one-dollar bills from a stage. Another gyrates on a businessman in the corner. An emcee announces they'll be starting hot butter wrestling in ten minutes. You feel a claw sensuously stroke your shoulders. "Looking for some tail, sweetheart?"

# ¿ Dec 21, 2017 18:34

Drink-Mix Man: You are an odd fellow, but I must say... you throw a swell shindig.

got any sevens posted:

the octogenarian mutant ninja turtles

Leonardo leads, Donatello does machines (to help him breathe)

# ¿ Dec 26, 2017 00:57

Drink-Mix Man: You are an odd fellow, but I must say... you throw a swell shindig.

2Can $am follows his nose... to blow

# ¿ Jan 3, 2018 02:04

Drink-Mix Man: You are an odd fellow, but I must say... you throw a swell shindig.

Blade Runner about food:

"I want more fries fucker."

***

"You're in a Mexican restaurant, walking up to the counter, when all of a sudden you look down..."

"What one?"

"What?"

"What restaurant?"

"It doesn't make any difference what restaurant, it's completely hypothetical."

"But, how come I'd be there?"

"Maybe you're hungry. Maybe your're hungover. Who knows? You look down and see a torta, Leon."

"Torta? What's that?"

"You know what a sandwich is?"

"Of course!"

"Same thing."

"I've never eaten a sandwich... But I understand what you mean."

"You reach down and take the top piece of bread off the torta, Leon."

"Do you make up these questions, Mr. Bourdain? Or do they write 'em down for you?"

"The torta lays open-faced, the jamon and avacado inside glistening, beckoning to be eaten, but it can't. Not without your help. But you're not eating."

"What do you mean, I'm not eating?"

"I mean: you're not eating! Why is that, Leon?"

[Leon licks his lips]

# ¿ Jan 3, 2018 18:40

Drink-Mix Man: You are an odd fellow, but I must say... you throw a swell shindig.

sebmojo posted:

make the threadddd

https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3845470

# ¿ Jan 3, 2018 22:52

Drink-Mix Man: You are an odd fellow, but I must say... you throw a swell shindig.

Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall!

*The General Secretary of the USSR busts through a wall, Kool-Aid style*

# ¿ Jan 5, 2018 18:24

Drink-Mix Man: You are an odd fellow, but I must say... you throw a swell shindig.

Autobier. The sophisticated German beer for drinking while cruising the autobahn.

When cruising speed exceeds 130 kph, a blue strip informs you that your beer has reached optimal flavor.

# ¿ Jan 9, 2018 17:28

Drink-Mix Man: You are an odd fellow, but I must say... you throw a swell shindig.

Manifisto posted:

artist ("artist"?) wim delvoye has you covered

clicky if you dare

Clicked, saw the site title before the page loaded, said "nope" and closed the tab.

# ¿ Jan 11, 2018 22:25

Drink-Mix Man: You are an odd fellow, but I must say... you throw a swell shindig.

Brick (Ben Folds) / Brick House (Commodores) mashup

# ¿ Jan 13, 2018 04:13

Drink-Mix Man: You are an odd fellow, but I must say... you throw a swell shindig.

beer pal posted:

a polter geist who does your chores for you but fucks them up ... for example washes your whites with brights, makes your bed but doesnt do hospital corners, uses hand soap to do the dishes instead of dish soap, etc.

One of those jump scares where there's a closeup of somebody splashing water on their face in the bathroom sink. The camera tracks them as they slowly bring their face up to the mirror, to see...

*MUSICAL STING*

Streaks everywhere.

# ¿ Jan 18, 2018 04:07

Drink-Mix Man: You are an odd fellow, but I must say... you throw a swell shindig.

An Amazon Prime subscription was a NICKEL!

# ¿ Jan 20, 2018 06:27

Drink-Mix Man: You are an odd fellow, but I must say... you throw a swell shindig.

You know what I love about you, sweetheart? You always sink to my level.

# ¿ Feb 2, 2018 00:32

Drink-Mix Man: You are an odd fellow, but I must say... you throw a swell shindig.

DavidAlltheTime posted:

Eggtropy Slam - $6.66 ONLY AT DENNYS

Blood Moon Over My Hammy

# ¿ Feb 10, 2018 03:50

Drink-Mix Man: You are an odd fellow, but I must say... you throw a swell shindig.

spectres of autism posted:

an immaculately dressed waiter with a curly mustache walks in slow and graceful with a delicious looking surleigh on a gleaming plate

"you ordered the surleigh?"

"no, surleigh not, haha"

his mustache droops. his left eye twitches

e: never mind joke cancelled i was literally sure there was a kind of steak called a surleigh though. as i type this i realize i was thinking of surloin this joke is bad i messed up big in the good jokes thread

surloin you must be joking

# ¿ Mar 2, 2018 06:47

Drink-Mix Man: You are an odd fellow, but I must say... you throw a swell shindig.

Ride The Gravitron posted:

Cheat codes for real life
Stand in front of any npc. Press punch, punch, kick, punch, punch, kick. You can now take the npcs stuff

Use right while hiding the gas pedal to access the sidewalk lane and bypass traffic.

Want the next level with out earning it? Go down, open, suck to unlock your promotion.

# ¿ Mar 4, 2018 02:47

Drink-Mix Man: You are an odd fellow, but I must say... you throw a swell shindig.

Goofus gallantry: bad attempts at chivalry.

Like holding a bathroom stall door open for a lady.

# ¿ Aug 22, 2019 08:27

Drink-Mix Man: You are an odd fellow, but I must say... you throw a swell shindig.

Opening a mason jar of artisanal organic whoop-rear end

# ¿ Sep 21, 2022 04:13

Drink-Mix Man: You are an odd fellow, but I must say... you throw a swell shindig.

DiscoWitch posted:

A panda walks into a wild west saloon it eats shoots and leaves

lol

# ¿ Sep 21, 2022 16:26

Drink-Mix Man: You are an odd fellow, but I must say... you throw a swell shindig.

Karate Bastard posted:

Getting your rear end handed to you by the world's buffest vegan.

"I eat plant-based alternatives to you for breakfast."

# ¿ Sep 21, 2022 16:28

Drink-Mix Man: You are an odd fellow, but I must say... you throw a swell shindig.

KFC

Kentucky loving Christ

# ¿ Sep 24, 2022 07:13

Drink-Mix Man: You are an odd fellow, but I must say... you throw a swell shindig.

a dog from Indiana: Hoosier Good Boy

# ¿ Oct 6, 2022 19:16

Drink-Mix Man: You are an odd fellow, but I must say... you throw a swell shindig.

Prurient Squid posted:

That scene in Lady in the tramp but instead of spaghetti they're both smoking a bong.

and itallians in the back ground "why a we make a dogs smoke weed - we sick fucks"

Those Italian stereotypes come out with the accordion and mandolin but instead of "It's a Beautiful Night" they do Cyprus Hill covers

# ¿ Oct 17, 2022 21:42

Drink-Mix Man: You are an odd fellow, but I must say... you throw a swell shindig.

BREAKING: FBI (Female Breast Inspectors) Follow Tips to Major Bust

# ¿ Oct 26, 2022 16:59

Drink-Mix Man: You are an odd fellow, but I must say... you throw a swell shindig.

Finger Prince posted:

A high school sports team, who's mascot is a mosquito, somehow getting away with calling themselves Team Skeeter. Bonus points if it's a religious school.

Saint Peter's Catholic School.

The Saint Peter Skeeters.

# ¿ Oct 29, 2022 04:03

Drink-Mix Man: You are an odd fellow, but I must say... you throw a swell shindig.

Prurient Squid posted:

Everywork of fiction has the authors fetish in it. If it appears not to then you didn't notice it or it's so obscure that it's not clear to the general observer.

*Eyes widen as I look up from this post to see James and the Giant Peach on my shelf*

# ¿ Nov 18, 2022 18:28

Drink-Mix Man: You are an odd fellow, but I must say... you throw a swell shindig.

Karate Bastard posted:

Having a hardon for an absence, not rather unlike having a faiblesse for holes.

read this as "a hardon for abstinence."

like "nothing gets me hard like never ever doing it"

which makes some sense now that ive typed that out

# ¿ Nov 18, 2022 23:09

Drink-Mix Man: You are an odd fellow, but I must say... you throw a swell shindig.

Prurient Squid posted:

A bunch of hip teenagers are hanging out and one of them suggests they read the bible "as a joke bro".

what if we got on our knees and, like, prayed to Christ haha, just as a laugh... no hallow haha

# ¿ Nov 20, 2022 00:57

Drink-Mix Man: You are an odd fellow, but I must say... you throw a swell shindig.

An armchair D&D player drinking beer and watching campaigns on Twitch. (He used to play some high school D.)

"Oh COME ON, you're not gonna do an insight check? Get in the game!" *burp*

# ¿ Dec 7, 2022 19:15

Drink-Mix Man: You are an odd fellow, but I must say... you throw a swell shindig.

Prurient Squid posted:

Mr Spock is ordered to serve as a bodyguard for a vulcan woman who has really big boobs. And the whole time he's trying to be logical and not think about a boobs but the more he tries to supress it the more powerful it becomes and he keeps making slip ups.

edit:

And her name is T'Its Apopin'

The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the two

I mean one

# ¿ Dec 10, 2022 20:16

Drink-Mix Man: You are an odd fellow, but I must say... you throw a swell shindig.

The Voice of Labor posted:

a thug fires his revolver at superman, six shots bounce of his chest. the thug throws his gun at superman, hits him square in the balls. superman keels over in pain

# ¿ Dec 17, 2022 02:53

Drink-Mix Man: You are an odd fellow, but I must say... you throw a swell shindig.

Soapyshoes posted:

A mascot for urinary catheters that's exactly like Captain Crunch, and there's commercials where kids say "catheterize me, cap'n!"

Oops! All Incontinence

# ¿ Dec 30, 2022 22:36

Drink-Mix Man: You are an odd fellow, but I must say... you throw a swell shindig.

Viginti Septem posted:

Frosted Mini Pees

poop loops

# ¿ Dec 31, 2022 01:58

Drink-Mix Man: You are an odd fellow, but I must say... you throw a swell shindig.

Clownton Abby

# ¿ Jan 5, 2023 08:51

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ¿ May 2, 2024 17:46

Drink-Mix Man: You are an odd fellow, but I must say... you throw a swell shindig.

Getting the "body of Christ" at Catholic mass but being really specific about the part of the body you want, like you're ordering at a butcher shop

# ¿ Nov 7, 2023 06:50

The Something Awful Forums > Main > BYOB: BYOB BYOB BOYB BBOY YOBB YBOB BBYO?? > Jokes that are good but you can't be bothered to develop a thread for

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