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deep dish peat moss posted:Kid Rock becoming a world-renowned geologist and renaming Earth's mantle the Baw Wit Da Baw Da Bang A Dang Diggy Layer Kid Rock visiting the White House with Sarah Palin and Ted Nugent
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Apr 20, 2017 19:17
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alnilam posted:*evening news voice* there's a new trend sweeping the tri county area, it's called itching the vine and your teen may already be doing it. find out what it is and what parents and school administrators are doing about it, tonight at 8. 
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Jun 27, 2017 18:12
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DOPE FIEND KILLA G posted:pronouncing the word banal like 'anal'but with a b That's not how you say it? Oops... |
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Jul 17, 2017 05:26
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a dry unfunny boring peer-reviewed journal about the semantics, linguistics and other istics of funny jokes
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Aug 16, 2017 23:28
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Air Bud with Rodney Dangerfield. There's no rule that says an elderly standup comedian can't be a dog!
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Oct 19, 2017 16:59
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sebmojo posted:boobs, but tactical Spectacular boobs that also tell good jokes
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Oct 25, 2017 05:11
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got any sevens posted:*black and white screen of nuclear family looking bored* Has this ever happened to you? <parent puts bread in pasta cooker and it just falls apart> All the family wants is a good spaghetti dinner, and you just can't turn that bread into tasty pasta. Introducing--the Pastaqueezer! Just put the bread into the Pastaqueezer, turn the patented Morphomaster knob 4 times, and you'll extrude the tastiest soft gluten you've ever had!
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Oct 25, 2017 05:14
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got any sevens posted:*black and white screen of nuclear family looking bored* A classic informercial fails video is funnier than any joke I can come up with. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iCaQLnR7B10
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Oct 25, 2017 05:17
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Twenty Four posted:This happened with two of my friends twice last week. As in, I asked them if they wanted another beer, they both said yes, opened said beers, and only drank half of them. Straight up alcohol abuse.
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Oct 25, 2017 05:17
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Hugh Malone posted:Cathy made me legit sad when I was a kid What if Cathy was a subversive feminist meme designed to discourage young women from falling into the hellish existence that is low-level corporate work, like being secretaries, by virtue of Cathy being such a sad and unfulfilled lump? Could Garfield be the same? By showing the raw unprocessed horror of Jon's life, could Garfield be screaming to the world, "DON'T BE LIKE JON"?
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Jan 18, 2018 18:33
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hamjobs posted:today we're going to learn about lawyers. this may contain material sensitive to young litigators so please, if you have a lawyer on your lap, have them leave the room before you read further. You have captured the essence of Big Firm Litigation. Kudos! |
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Sep 13, 2018 15:53
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ShinyBirdTeeth posted:Having a pizza in the fridge is like having money in the bank. gently caress yeah it is!
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Nov 18, 2018 06:55
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Dec 1, 2018 05:37
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Cubone posted:thread for plotting BYOB's annexation of the hiking forum There is a hiking forum? |
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Dec 1, 2018 05:38
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I was a receptionist for an office full of loan processors in the 80s. My job was to keep borrowers from bothering the processors so they could work. I had 10 lines lit up from 9 to 5. That is kind of how I remember the processors except they were also women and hot. |
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Apr 20, 2019 03:00
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FactsAreUseless posted:A very homophobic cleaning product called Orson Scotch Guard
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Apr 25, 2019 14:20
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Robot Made of Meat posted:Cartesian Well Water. Gravity Well Water, but no one knows how it tastes because you get trapped in the event horizon if you get close enough to drink it. |
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May 14, 2019 05:25
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FactsAreUseless posted:Wooooooaaaahhhhhh
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May 14, 2019 05:28
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ShinyBirdTeeth posted:Innocent but terrifying phrases: Hobbyist coroner Laundry sniffer
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Jul 19, 2019 04:27
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got any sevens posted:Everyone should be proud about doing drugs, it's achieving a very important goal in life and you are rewarded with insane feelings and chemicals for doing so, too, it's win win for both you and your biology and hopefully also for your partnership What if we do drugs and have a sex? |
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Aug 16, 2019 02:54
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FactsAreUseless posted:Dating site for chubby musical fans called The Heaviside Layer
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Sep 2, 2019 01:05
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Heather Papps posted:fashion SWAT for dinosaurs Would be a great front page article!
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Sep 26, 2019 21:58
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albany academy posted:Me reviewing a gin: herbal. Fragrant. Hint of cucumber. What I imagine the water that pools in the bottom of the kitchen garbage bag tastes like. Bit of juniper. I'm getting subtle hints of rear end and burning tire rubber. (I actually love gin and this is just a joke, really!) |
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Sep 29, 2019 01:06
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Bacon Taco posted:I'm getting subtle hints of rear end and burning tire rubber. |
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Sep 29, 2019 01:06
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I cast Gently Caress
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Nov 14, 2019 21:10
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SardonicTyrant posted:A wallet full of baby photos. 
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Dec 8, 2019 19:21
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magic cactus posted:the afterlife but you need to take a standardized test to find out what kind of ghost you will be Hell is where you have to take a Facebook quiz to find out what kind of ghost you will be
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Dec 12, 2019 00:20
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Pastry of the Year posted:"Father, please let's watch Manimal together" Father, I am loathe to trouble you about a matter of such relative insignificance, but I wish to request again that I be allowed to watch Manimal. Yes, I have read of its narrative faults, Father, and I know it is performed by actors, those lower class ruffians who would never be allowed into our home. Nevertheless, I believe it would be edifying to see the variety of animals into which the Manimal can transform, and that it would further my education. Oh, Father, I was indeed aware that all of those animals, or at least their heads, are on display in the parlor, and are the subject of fine discussions bybour family and guests. But, but, Dad, Manimal is just cool and all the other kids get to watch it! |
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Dec 28, 2019 03:05
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deep dish peat moss posted:PAUL BLART 3 MALL COPS ARE BASTARDS amcab
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Jan 23, 2020 17:50
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got any sevens posted:lmfao I have news for you about toilets in certain parts of Asia. Also, a lifehack for sleeping through your alarm in the morning is just not to go to sleep at all. Try meth? |
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Apr 3, 2020 16:16
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The Clowner posted:Pants off at the dinner table, please Shoes and shirt, no service
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Apr 14, 2020 18:32
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Good evening my fellow Americans; this is President Jaksyn Kamgurl-Inflewensir
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Apr 28, 2020 17:21
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magic cactus posted:dressing up like a member of the american military and asking people if i can come into their home. The homeowner calls a phone number he saw on a bus bench ad, looking for an attorney who specializes in Third Amendment violations
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Jul 9, 2020 20:08
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DOPE FIEND KILLA G posted:alas, your dick! i blew him well, felatio 
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Aug 3, 2020 00:38
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deep dish peat moss posted:Trying my hand at writing analog jokes 
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Aug 16, 2020 19:29
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Jolo posted:Alternate universe where Eddie Murphy is dating a girl that has frequent diarrhea and he puts out the hit single "Potty All the Time" Omg are you my ex-wife because she used to sing that version of the song all the time |
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Oct 6, 2020 06:03
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Bright Bart posted:The Bear-ne Supremacy - A cute bear must race to find those that framed him for stealing picnic baskets before the park rangers can track him down. The Barren Supremacy - A cute post-apocalyptic warrior fights bandits in a post-nuclear wasteland, searching for water, before the bandits can track him down. He never finds water, but finds some good friends instead, and he learns the real water is the friends we made along the way!
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Feb 22, 2021 20:33
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Dip Viscous posted:an online t-shirt shop that's just every post in this thread Take all my money now! |
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Dec 19, 2021 01:57
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google THIS posted:Someone to hear your gruyeres, someone who pairs 
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Jan 28, 2022 20:37
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google THIS posted:A lot of them get disqualified for griefing 
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Feb 2, 2022 17:05
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