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Vincent Van Goatse
Nov 8, 2006

Enjoy every sandwich.

Smellrose
The newest release is a hilariously flaccid Peter Graves vehicle from the 70s.

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Vincent Van Goatse
Nov 8, 2006

Enjoy every sandwich.

Smellrose

RandomPauI posted:

Danger Keep Out!

My favorite part of that short was the ending theme song performed by someone who could've made a career as a Debbie Harry impersonator.

Vincent Van Goatse
Nov 8, 2006

Enjoy every sandwich.

Smellrose
Where do you guys live that these shows are always selling out? I was literally the only one at my San Diego area theater last Thursday.

Vincent Van Goatse
Nov 8, 2006

Enjoy every sandwich.

Smellrose

muscles like this! posted:

So the "Dr Who" movies are on Amazon and is there an explanation as to why they exist in the first place?

Daleks were really loving popular and VCRs didn't exist.

Vincent Van Goatse
Nov 8, 2006

Enjoy every sandwich.

Smellrose

LORD OF BOOTY posted:

it's almost like RiffTrax is bootleg MST3K that literally only doesn't have the MST3K name because Joel owns it and Mike doesn't.

Rude.

Vincent Van Goatse
Nov 8, 2006

Enjoy every sandwich.

Smellrose

Canned Panda posted:

So, apparently RiffTrax is going to be LIVE in LONDON

God I would've loved this six years ago.

Vincent Van Goatse
Nov 8, 2006

Enjoy every sandwich.

Smellrose

Jet Jaguar posted:

Picked this up along with Star Games so I am set for weird SF films for a bit. Important question: Does Starship Invasions feature a bear in any way?

Christopher Lee's in it, if that counts.

Vincent Van Goatse
Nov 8, 2006

Enjoy every sandwich.

Smellrose

This was a good one. The movie is delightfully silly on its own (it feels like a bunch of kids snuck on to the Space 1999 set and made their own movie) and the riffs just deflate whatever dramatic pretensions the film has into further silliness.

Vincent Van Goatse
Nov 8, 2006

Enjoy every sandwich.

Smellrose
Ladies and gentlemen, today is an auspicious day, because the new RiffTrax short is Drawing for Beginners: The Square.

Vincent Van Goatse
Nov 8, 2006

Enjoy every sandwich.

Smellrose
gently caress yeah Space Mutiny.

Vincent Van Goatse
Nov 8, 2006

Enjoy every sandwich.

Smellrose

A Big Dark Yak posted:

A friend and I split a bottle of brandy to try to get through this movie, and it was so impossibly bad, still. The riff for it could be amazing or terrifying.

What the gently caress is this movie? And I was going to ask how the gently caress they got Eric Roberts but I found the answer:

Wikipedia posted:

Eric Roberts' dialogue was recorded in 15 minutes.

He probably took a smoke break from the afternoon shift at the Sizzler in Van Nuys and was back in time for the dinner rush.

EDIT: Eric Roberts' Twitter feed is quite a thing to experience.

Vincent Van Goatse fucked around with this message at 08:24 on Mar 13, 2018

Vincent Van Goatse
Nov 8, 2006

Enjoy every sandwich.

Smellrose
Oh God not another Paul Matthews movie.

Vincent Van Goatse
Nov 8, 2006

Enjoy every sandwich.

Smellrose

RandomPauI posted:

I really want them to riff "The Last Stand". An Italian rip-off of Rambo about a football team traveling to a island/tropical nation to rescue the daughter of a diplomate falsely held on drug charges. Ernest Borgnine rounds out the cast as the coach.

A review is here http://monsterhuntermoviereviews.com/2016/02/07/the-last-match-1991/

The movie is here
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LA5gdep1axc

Oh my God, that cast: Ernest Borgnine, Charles Napier, Henry Silva and Martin Balsam.

Vincent Van Goatse
Nov 8, 2006

Enjoy every sandwich.

Smellrose

muscles like this! posted:

Where exactly is Cyborg Cop 2 supposed to take place? It sure looks like Southern California but then they talk about "heading south" to Des Moines.

It was set in America but filmed in South Africa so who even loving knows. I don't even think the filmmakers did.

Vincent Van Goatse
Nov 8, 2006

Enjoy every sandwich.

Smellrose

HannibalBarca posted:

It's a different cut of the film (Japanese giant monster movies often got different cuts from different Western distributors back in the day) from the one they used on MST3K, for anyone who's wondering. Also, new riffs, of course.

Also it's missing 13 minutes of screentime according to IMDb. I thought they stopped cutting their movies?

Vincent Van Goatse
Nov 8, 2006

Enjoy every sandwich.

Smellrose

Mister Kingdom posted:

I would love to have heard teenagers reactions to this movie back in the day.

Being excited their was a film they could sleep through, if I remember my high school days correctly.

Vincent Van Goatse
Nov 8, 2006

Enjoy every sandwich.

Smellrose
Welcome to... The Dark.

quote:

Are you afraid of The Dark? You should be. Not because it’s scary, it most certainly isn’t, but because it will rattle your brains if you try too hard to understand what it’s about.

Is it a 70s cop drama about a serial killer? Or a monster movie about a demonic alien creature zapping people with its laser vision? The answer is somehow both, but also neither. William Devane, currently starring in commercials where he convinces older folks it’s a good idea to put all their money in gold, is a “sexy” former cop turned novelist (sure, why not) out to avenge his daughter’s death in a battle against… whatever is happening in The Dark. Really, we spent a lot of time with this movie and we’re still not sure, we’d love your help.

Rounding out the cast of stock 70s character actors who appeared in multiple episodes of Columbo, we’ve got “voice of Shaggy from Scooby-Doo” Casey Kasem as a grim police coroner, Cathy Lee Crosby, and Richard Jaeckel, who keen-eyed Rifftrax fans may recognize as the scientist who got yelled at by shirtless Leslie Nielsen in Day of the Animals.

So yeah, there’s a lot to love in The Dark. But not a lot to see, because it’s dark. Step into the murk of the late 70s with Mike, Kevin, and Bill, and savor the darky darkness of… The Dark!

The film feels like an episode of Kolchak: The Night Stalker but without any of the brisk pacing, humor, or Darren McGavin's overacting. So it's really just lots of night scenes and ugly 70s actors.

Vincent Van Goatse
Nov 8, 2006

Enjoy every sandwich.

Smellrose

egon_beeblebrox posted:

Rollergator is fun for the whole family

The whole Manson Family, yes.

Vincent Van Goatse
Nov 8, 2006

Enjoy every sandwich.

Smellrose

Rirse posted:

See a email for a new riff and then see "Matthew Elliot" and immediately delete it.

Hell, same. Those two fat Limeys are a disgrace.

Vincent Van Goatse
Nov 8, 2006

Enjoy every sandwich.

Smellrose
Omega Cop is missing 12 minutes and the latest Bridget and Mary Jo film is missing a full half hour. I thought Rifftrax was supposed to have stopped cutting their movies to bits?

Vincent Van Goatse
Nov 8, 2006

Enjoy every sandwich.

Smellrose
Yeah, they're cutting movies again.

Vincent Van Goatse
Nov 8, 2006

Enjoy every sandwich.

Smellrose
It's dumb and bad for Rifftrax to cut movies except for truly awful poo poo because they aren't bound to a specific time slot like MST3K was.

Vincent Van Goatse
Nov 8, 2006

Enjoy every sandwich.

Smellrose

MrMidnight posted:

That guy from the Room is in it.

And he's legit the best actor in it apart from Old Toulon in the preface.

Vincent Van Goatse
Nov 8, 2006

Enjoy every sandwich.

Smellrose

bad posts ahead!!! posted:

this loving song. i can't get it out of my head

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BORs1TCnHoo

love the guys' reactions to the lyrics

I feel like this song needed to appear in Nier: Automata.

Vincent Van Goatse
Nov 8, 2006

Enjoy every sandwich.

Smellrose

Rirse posted:

Quickest I lost interest in watching a riff when reading the email and see "Matthew Elliot".

Been saying this for years. How did those fat unfunny Limeys manage to ingratiate themselves into the show?

Vincent Van Goatse
Nov 8, 2006

Enjoy every sandwich.

Smellrose
RLM are just as bad as those two fat British dudes who make the unfunny RiffTrax releases and should not be discussed in this thread about funny things.

Vincent Van Goatse
Nov 8, 2006

Enjoy every sandwich.

Smellrose

Dawgstar posted:

More importantly can she order a New York Strip properly?

Sadly, the film doesn't answer that question.

Vincent Van Goatse
Nov 8, 2006

Enjoy every sandwich.

Smellrose
This is a good one. 1980s Italian trash never disappoints.

Vincent Van Goatse
Nov 8, 2006

Enjoy every sandwich.

Smellrose

muscles like this! posted:

It doesn't have any gore at all.

Rifftrax cut all the (not very violent at all) actual kill scenes.

Vincent Van Goatse
Nov 8, 2006

Enjoy every sandwich.

Smellrose
She had about 40 minutes cut out some of it was done in the middle of lines of dialog. I actually couldn't finish it because I was so distracted by the those cuts.

Vincent Van Goatse
Nov 8, 2006

Enjoy every sandwich.

Smellrose
Jesus Christ Almighty on a Jetski, not since Roller Gator has a Rifftrax movie hurt so badly.

Vincent Van Goatse
Nov 8, 2006

Enjoy every sandwich.

Smellrose

NikkolasKing posted:

Has anyone sen their Planet of Dinosaurs riff?

has anyone even seen Planet of Dinosaurs at all?

Bikini girl? Dead. Chuck? Alive and shirtless.

Vincent Van Goatse
Nov 8, 2006

Enjoy every sandwich.

Smellrose
From the maker of Horror at Party Beach comes the latest RiffTrax release, I Eat Your Skin. Includes lots of fake Spanish dialogue and an out-of-tune version of Torgo's theme.

Vincent Van Goatse
Nov 8, 2006

Enjoy every sandwich.

Smellrose
So... Blood Theatre.

Vincent Van Goatse
Nov 8, 2006

Enjoy every sandwich.

Smellrose
Rick Sloane managed to make gratuitous 80s horror movie nudity uninteresting.

Vincent Van Goatse
Nov 8, 2006

Enjoy every sandwich.

Smellrose
Well, that was incredibly stupid.

Vincent Van Goatse
Nov 8, 2006

Enjoy every sandwich.

Smellrose

X-O posted:

Just wait till you get to the last 10 minutes.

Hell, every single 10 minute segment of that movie offers a new and weird bit of cinematic derangement.

Vincent Van Goatse
Nov 8, 2006

Enjoy every sandwich.

Smellrose

mobby_6kl posted:

Is our biker gang supposed to be sympathetic at all? At least one guy is an actual, for real, nazi with swastikas and poo poo which makes it easy for maybe 30% of the population.

Nobody's supposed to be sympathetic except Trash and the girl and probably Fred Williamson. These kinds of Italian movies are big on nihilistic outlooks.

Vincent Van Goatse
Nov 8, 2006

Enjoy every sandwich.

Smellrose
I watched Day of the Animals again recently and I'm now unhealthily obsessed with figuring out just what the gently caress "a size" refers to in the context of rural saloon food orders.

EDIT: Apparently it's an open-faced chili burger :confused:

Vincent Van Goatse fucked around with this message at 22:19 on Aug 14, 2019

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Vincent Van Goatse
Nov 8, 2006

Enjoy every sandwich.

Smellrose

BDawg posted:

About 2hr out from Nashville and the Historic Belcourt Theater.

You gonna have a size before the show, hot shot?

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