FactsAreUseless posted:

Snake, have you ever read Lord of the Flies?

Lord of the Flies?

It's a book, Snake. Written in 1954 by William Golding. It won the Nobel Prize for Literature.

The Nobel Prize...!

That's right, Snake. It's about boys trapped on an island. One of them is an asthmatic. Things end badly for him, Snake.

Asthmatic?

Snake... try not to use your cigarettes.

Black Baby Goku posted:

Colonel: Actually, I am in really bad shape financially. I paid 12,000 dollars to this festival in the Bahamas...among other bills... I just had no choice but to make you a cheese sandwich for lunch the other day. I'm really sorry.

Pablo Gigante posted:

Pablo Gigante posted:

FactsAreUseless posted:

His codename is The Fury. They say he's an astronaut who paid $150,000 to attend the Fyre Festival.

Black Baby Goku posted:

Big Boss: [eating a salad with no dressing as he dies] This is good... isn't it?

FactsAreUseless posted:

Boss, that's a refugee tent. Not sure what it's doing at the festival though.

Boss, those lights are normally used to illuminate the stage. Doesn't look like anyone will be playing, though.

Boss, those are wild dogs. They usually stay far away from people. I don't know what they're doing this close to the festival.

Boss, that's a security guard. A festival normally has more of them. Something's up. Stay alert.

Great find, Boss. Those are some wilted-rear end spring greens. They're not edible, but we can make them into medicine.

Boss, that's the CEO of a tech startup with severe social anxiety and major body-image issues, for which he overcompensates with conspicuous consumption. Are you sure you want to bring him back to base?

Control Volume posted:

code:

       Classified Intel Acquisition

TIME:                    20:32:17.182  (12275)
SECURITY GUARD ALERTS               2  ( -600)
KILLS                               0  ( 2000)
PRISONERS RESCUED                   1  ( 3500)
LAPTOPS LOST                        1  (-3000)
RETRIES                             0  ( 3000)
NO REFLEX                              ( 6000)
CLASSIFIED INTEL RECOVERED                3000

SCORE                                    23175
                      RANK      C