FactsAreUseless posted:

Snake, have you ever read Lord of the Flies?

Lord of the Flies?

It's a book, Snake. Written in 1954 by William Golding. It won the Nobel Prize for Literature.

The Nobel Prize...!

That's right, Snake. It's about boys trapped on an island. One of them is an asthmatic. Things end badly for him, Snake.

Asthmatic?

Snake... try not to use your cigarettes.

Average Bear posted:

You can't catch them all Snake. But don't worry, every single one of them paid thousands to be here; we raised millions to rebuild Outer Heaven!

Pablo Gigante posted:

Shipping container lowers onto beach I won't scatter your luggage to the heartless sea.

Pablo Gigante posted:

Fungah! posted:

Otacon: The truth is... my grandfather was part of Woodstock. He lived with the guilt for the rest of his life. And my father...he was born on June 21, 1986.
Snake: The day of the first Burning Man. God's got a sense of humor, all right.

Pablo Gigante posted:

*All The Small Things comes on*
Chico: I didn't know they wrote a song about Larry!! LMAO

Pablo Gigante posted:

*Blink 182's plane finally lands*

Mark Hoppus: Kept you waiting, huh?

Fungah! posted:

Solid Snake: Who are you?
Gray Fox: I am like you. I have no tent.

Pablo Gigante posted:

Average Bear posted:

In Training posted:

[Punished Snakes tightens the knot of his bandana]

Pablo Gigante posted:

PROTIP: If you set the system clock forward one week, all the festival attendees will have died.

FactsAreUseless posted:

Snake, this Beauty... do you know why she's called Festival Wolf?

Festival Wolf?

She used to be an ordinary girl. Then she was dragged away by security at the Fyre Festival. They took everything from her. Her luggage, her laptop, even her Samsung Galaxy S8. Post-traumatic stress disorder broke her mind. While she was at the festival, she saw wild dogs. She thought they were wolves.

So she took that code name...

That's right, Snake. That's why she responded when you played Blink-182 on your iPod.

Pablo Gigante posted:

Sad... So sad... A host of sorrows... And you are one of them... I am The Sorrow. Like you, I, too, am filled with sadness. This world is one of sadness... Battle brings death. Death brings sorrow. The living... may not hear them. Their voices... may fall upon deaf ears. But make no mistake... the dead... are not silent. Now you will know the sorrow of those whose lives you have ended. Snake slowly walks down a river full of white yuppies trying to board a flight back to Miami

FactsAreUseless posted:

In ten minutes, MIGs will come and bomb the hell out of this place. They'll kill you, me, this whole festival. If you can get out of the airport Chili's in which we've been locked, you'll be able to escape in time. Jack, let's make this the greatest ten minutes of our lives.

Pablo Gigante posted:

Naked Snake: I'm at the Fyre Festival.
Sigint: The Fyre Festival? Why are you...?
Naked Snake: I dunno. I was just looking at it, and suddenly I got this irresistible urge to go. No not just an urge - more than that. It was my destiny to be here; at the festival
Sigint: Destiny...?
Naked Snake: Yeah. And then when I ate a cheese sandwich, I suddenly got this feeling of inner peace. I can't put it into words. I feel... safe. Like this is where I was meant to be. Like I'd found the key to true happiness.
Sigint: ...
Naked Snake: Does any of that make sense?
Sigint: Not even a little.
Naked Snake: You should come to the festival. Then you'll know what I mean.

Lumpy the Cook posted:

Oh my God, wait a minute- could this finally be the long-awaited 'return to Camp Omega' Kojima and Geoff Keighley were hinting at?

Lumpy the Cook posted:

Bane: Yes- the Fyre rises.

FactsAreUseless posted:

Boss, that's a refugee tent. Not sure what it's doing at the festival though.

Boss, those lights are normally used to illuminate the stage. Doesn't look like anyone will be playing, though.

Boss, those are wild dogs. They usually stay far away from people. I don't know what they're doing this close to the festival.

Boss, that's a security guard. A festival normally has more of them. Something's up. Stay alert.

Great find, Boss. Those are some wilted-rear end spring greens. They're not edible, but we can make them into medicine.

Boss, that's the CEO of a tech startup with severe social anxiety and major body-image issues, for which he overcompensates with conspicuous consumption. Are you sure you want to bring him back to base?

Lumpy the Cook posted:

Les Pectus Excavatum...

Pablo Gigante posted:

Ja Rules of Nature

Control Volume posted:

code:

       Classified Intel Acquisition

TIME:                    20:32:17.182  (12275)
SECURITY GUARD ALERTS               2  ( -600)
KILLS                               0  ( 2000)
PRISONERS RESCUED                   1  ( 3500)
LAPTOPS LOST                        1  (-3000)
RETRIES                             0  ( 3000)
NO REFLEX                              ( 6000)
CLASSIFIED INTEL RECOVERED                3000

SCORE                                    23175
                      RANK      C